“You. Seriously. Ri Ah, you… you just make me speechless,” Ji Yong said. I was still trying to catch my breath so all I could do was let out a soundless laugh. We didn’t even make it onto my bed.  

“I missed you,” I finally confessed.

“Me too. Come here.” Ji Yong pulled me closer to him so that I was resting on his chest and then he kissed the top of my head lovingly. Lying down on the cool wooden floor had never felt so comfortable.

“Some of them were waiting downstairs, did they see you?”

“It doesn’t matter.” We were silent for a while, relishing in the peacefulness that made up this instance, where it was only the two of us and the threatening thunder outside. This may be the last of these moments. I reached up to touch his hair, now drenched with rain and sweat.

“Are you cold Ji Yong?”

“Yes, that’s why you should stay close to me.” I smiled at his less than subtle attempt to keep me on the floor , but got up. Ji Yong looked at me, half-scowling.

“Well I’m cold,” I said, then grabbed his hand to pull him up. “Come with me for a nice hot shower?” Like that would even be a credible question.

About an hour later, now both nice and dry, we lay on the bed facing each other just thinking in the quiet. After always just being locked in his arms, or kissing him, I finally had a good look at this man that I had to myself for just this moment. Ji Yong’s grown up a little from the image I had of him in my head from two years ago. The contour on his face had changed; it’s more masculine than before, the features harder and more prominent. Those dark brown irises however still retained their piercing and hard gaze, but the moment he smiled it all melted away into nothing but gentleness. Those were the ones I was staring at right now.

“What’s so amusing?” I asked.

“You.”

“What about me?”

“I don’t get how anyone can be so beautiful. I didn’t think it was possible for you to get prettier but you did.”

“I look prettier because we just had , three times,” I reasoned. “Everything tends to look nicer.” Ji Yong laughed at my theory but shook his head.

“No, this is different.” I knew what he meant. I didn’t think it was possible either but looking at him now, I am just falling deeper and deeper in love. Despite the fact that our circumstances had changed and the days we had spent together these past few years can be counted with two hands, those times are what gave me strength. That one thought of Ji Yong holding me is enough, and now I’m on the verge of losing that.

“Ji Yong-ah. Are you going to leave me?” I finally asked.

“If that’s what you want.” I shook my head slowly, trying to stop the threatening tears from falling. All of a sudden the image of a world without him flashed in my mind, and a wave of pure despair just hits me. It was a cold and dark place where I felt abandoned; the thought alone was to overbearing.

“No…” I whispered.

“But can you return to me?” I was mum, trying to find the right words for a reply but I could only come up empty. My heart was telling me that enough is enough; there was nothing to hold you back anymore. But then a small, but so very prominent part of me was hesitating. It was my fear. Scared of his world, scared of change, scared of being weak and so I convinced myself that I was alright, that I could live without him. Over the silence he gave me a small sympathetic smile then reached over and caressed my cheek with the back of his hand. I closed my eyes, relishing in his touch.

“Just sleep. You’ve had a long day,” Ji Yong said. I bit my lip and dug myself deep into his arms. This was such a horrid nightmare, but I didn’t know how to wake up from it. With my face buried I finally felt the tears begin to escape, seeping through his thin shirt, and it was in that state that I suddenly lost my consciousness and fell into a deep slumber.

Ji Yong wasn’t there anymore; I didn’t have to open my eyes to know. My bed had suddenly became too large and cold a space for me to fill by myself. Slowly I pulled myself up, my head felt heavier than it should, and in a half-wake state got off the bed. The sound of a muffled voice somewhere near caught my attention and I followed it out of my apartment and into the corridor. Ji Yong was on the phone out there, speaking at a low volume with the door slightly open. I should have left him alone, but the words he was saying hit me so hard that my body refused to move.

“She deserves someone better, I know. All I’ve done is made her cry and tie her down; she doesn’t belong in this mess that I’ve made. Do whatever you need to do, just make sure those photos and articles are taken down. I’ll have a press conference and release a statement if I need to, just don’t get her involved in this. Please.” There was a long silence before he spoke again, but this time his voice had lost that tone of authority instead turning into one of fragility and hopelessness.

“I can’t live without her, I just can’t but even she knows I’m not good for her. I have to let her go.” I was too stunned that I didn’t even realize Ji Yong had walked back inside. Without even thinking I grabbed onto his shirt, and he looked back clearly surprised.

“Take me with you,” I said. “Wherever you go I want to go.”

“Ri Ah?”

“Me… I’m nothing without you so let me be with you, please.” I was so ashamed of myself. My running away had hurt this man a hundred times over, it made Ji Yong think that he wasn’t good enough and that he was bringing me down when all of that was just not true. If anything, he was the one too good for me. My fear suddenly diminished into nothing, as long as he was there the whole world could be against us and it wouldn’t matter. No, if I had anything to be scared of it would be a life without him in it. That was my worst nightmare.

“What happened? Why are you being like this?” he asked worriedly, holding onto my arms.

“I don’t care about the rumors anymore. I don’t care that I have to stop working or move, I’ll do anything. Just don’t let me go, don’t leave me.” I must’ve seemed so scared because before I knew it Ji Yong was embracing me and trying to calm me down. Squeezing me tightly he kept on repeating the same words over and over again like a sweet mantra.

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’d have nowhere to go,” he chanted and it worked like a charm. We stood like that in the middle of the room for goodness knows how long, but Ji Yong didn’t move an inch until I finally pulled back.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to listen,” I started to say, brashly rubbing away the tears with my hands.

“No, I went out because I didn’t want to wake you. Ri Ah, did you have a nightmare or something?”

“Something like that. You weren’t there when I woke up.”

“I’m sorry, you must’ve been so scared.” I shook my head.

“Not anymore since you’re here.” He smiled a little. “Ji Yong-ah I think I ruined your shirt,” I said. I pointed to the stretch marks at the hem courtesy of my excessive tugging. As expected Ji Yong just laughed it off, ruffling my hair in the process.

“You’re adorable.”

“Shut up.”

“I’d kiss you…” he said. “But I don’t think you’ve brushed your teeth.” Automatically, my hands went to my mouth and I ran towards the bathroom. Even if it may not be the most sanitary thing in the world, he just couldn’t let this one go, could he? Ji Yong can be such an sometimes. I took a nice cold shower while I was at it to wake myself up, then got out of the bathroom in time to see breakfast laid out for me on the dining table. It was pretty standard stuff, toast some coffee along with cut up fruit but for a bachelor that’s hardly home, I had to give him some props. While I was biting on an apple slice, he helped me towel dry my hair in the best way he could. I might come out of this with a headache, but the way his awkward hands tried to navigate through my hair just made me smile. These simple things are what make me feel loved. I turned around and faced him.

“What happens now?” I asked him.

“I want you to think about this again. I can’t save you from all of this once you’re in deep Ri Ah, everything will change.”

“I know, and that’s okay. I want to be a part of your life.”

“Then I’m going to take responsibility for this, everything. And we’re going to be happy you and I but it won’t be easy. Are you ready?” He draped the towel over my head and then crouched down in front of me. “Would you like to come to Korea with me?”

“Are you serious?”

“Take some time off and stay with me. If we’re going to do this, we might as well go all the way. No more hiding.”

“…Okay. No more hiding.” Moving jobs, moving house and to another country no less all for one man. I must be out of my mind.

AN: I don't know why this chapter was particularly hard, but it literally took me as many as 7-8 rewrites. I really hope it's to your guys' liking. On a side note I recently opened a blog 'adognamedbang', so come and check it out! It's a work in progress, but I'm going to put some 'behind the story' type things there. Thanks again everyone!!