It's too bright. I can feel it's morning, there's something about the air that I couldn't deny, but this time it was tinged with a saltiness that was novel to me. I scrunched my eyes to fight away the light, but soon enough my struggle is for nought as the glare disappeared, together with the sound of drapes being drawn. Instantly I fell back into a slumber. 

 

The sound of led scratching on paper stirred me awake. Strange isn't it? I can sleep through the sound of a deafening alarm clock, but an almost silent noise makes me extremely aware and can bring me from unconsciousness. My eyes flutter open, and through the slight blur I see the silhouette of Ji Yong, on the bed, bent over his lyric book. His right hand is confident, boldly putting words on the page and his left is on my head, softly my hair. The thin drapes which were closed were billowing in the coastal wind. God I couldn't have woken to a more perfect image I thought. I closed my eyes once more, and reached my hand up to hold onto his.

 

"Hmm..." he said in recognition. I brought his long fingers down towards my lips and kissed them tenderly, ever so slowly, each finger at a time. Then when I reached his index, I opened my mouth and took it between my teeth, biting down on it slightly, just to give him the right amount of pain. And then I let my tongue do the rest.

 

"Crazy woman," he said, grinning, and he cupped my face and brought it up to meet his. I smiled into the morning kiss and revelled in its sweetness. We passed the afternoon like that, on the bed save for the white sheets. My head rested happily on his lap as I played with the messy strands of my hair, and he leaned against the pillows, casually writing and humming a tune. 

 

"I like that one," I pointed out, as he experimented with a melody. "It sounds perfect for a love song."

 

"I'm not writing a love song though."

 

"Oh? That's a first. What are you thinking?"

 

"Something about being happy. That rare moment in people's lives where they can say without a doubt that they are happy."

 

"It's difficult, finding something like that," I agreed. "If it even exists."

 

"You don't think there's such a thing?" he asked, genuinely surprised. "Wow, you're even more cruel than me." I chuckled.

 

"I think as humans, it's just impossible. You always want more. Only when you can truly come to peace with the fact that there are things that you can't have... it's just impossible. Money, friends, aspirations... love. Whatever it is."

 

"I'm happy."

 

"No you're not," I said. "You're an ambitious man and what's worse is you're hard on yourself."

 

"Not with love," he corrected me," I know when I've found mine." My heart couldn't help skip a beat as I heard that. He's right, I couldn't ask for more. But love, it can grow without any bounds, I'm sure. I smiled up at him and reached up to touch his soft hair. Perfect, my heart told me, absolutely perfect. 

 

Then I blinked, and I found myself in a dark room. Our bedroom, back in Seoul. My heart did a small cry of disappointment, hoping that I could go back to the sun and surf, the pure white sand, but only the distant echoes of traffic clouded my senses. We’ve been back for two weeks, yet it felt like two months. I’ve hardly seen Ji Yong, he barely even has time to come home to sleep, let alone have a decent meal with me. 

 

“ARGH!” I screamed into my pillow, kicking my feet as well so I could just get rid of all my frustrations. This was so not healthy. I picked myself up off the bed, something that I’ve been sleeping in all by myself too much lately, and made my way to the bathroom to get ready for work. Thank god for work, I thought, or I might really just go insane. With a quick shower I picked up my keys and headed downstairs to the car park to meet my manager at YG. The beeps of the car being unlocked echoed off the cement walls of the car park, and I couldn’t help but feel my mood lift as I saw my car in its space waiting ever so patiently for me. 

 

Ji Yong handed me keys the morning after we came back, telling me to guess which car it was as he led me to the apartment parking space. I ran around like a mad woman, pressing the unlock button every 5 seconds until a car finally responded, a beautiful red Aston Martin Vanquish with its sleek body and blinking yellow lights. 

 

“YA! Are you crazy!? I can’t drive this!?” I screamed, pointing to the car, my fingers shaking. I might die from stress trying manoeuvre this huge , expensive thing in the streets of Seoul. It’s like asking for a death wish. Needless to say, we returned it the next day, well, his manager and I did. Then we went to another dealership to get a car with a bigger boot and could fit more people comfortably. Ji Yong laughed when I returned with an Audi Q7 in white saying that I had old women’s taste. Sobeit, I harrumphed, it fits my groceries. I wonder what he’d say if I came home with a Honda Jazz. 

 

I breathed in the smell of new leather in happiness then turned the music on and hummed my way to work. Come to think of it, Ji Yong buys me a car and then suddenly disappears off the face of the earth to his liking. How’s he any different from a sugar daddy? That husband of mine was going to get a piece of it when I see him. 

 

“Erika-unni, your early?” Ji Hye said waving to me from the other side of the corridor. 

 

“Nothing to do at home. I’m going to head down to the dance studio and I’ll see you in a bit,” I said, and then went down to meet Jae Shin and take her to breakfast at the cafeteria. Her group was debuting soon, she had just told me the other day. 

 

“I’m dying unni. I’ve never practiced so hard in my life,” she said as she took a swig of water.

 

“Have you eaten breakfast at all?” I asked.

 

“It’s going to make me sick.” I shook my head and held out some bulgogi to , which she finally chomped on. 

 

“You’ll live,” I replied. “So how’s the track. Do you like it?”

 

“It’s not important really. The fact that I have this chance is all the matters.” I put another piece of meat in .

 

“I guess. You still haven’t shown Teddy oppa anything?”

 

“Yeah, right. As if I’ll show him.” I shrugged my shoulders in a ‘why not?’ gesture but didn’t push. I didn’t want to be one of those ahjummas that pry into people’s business any more than I should. I put my tray back near the counter when I was done with breakfast and said thanks to the cook. 

 

“Why’d you get kimchi if you’re not even eating it?” Jae Shin pointed out as she looked at the leftovers.

 

“Force of habit, I always get it.”

 

“So? You don’t feel like it?” she asked. I shook my head.

 

“I can’t eat it for a while; I read a book that said so.”

 

“What diet is this?”

 

“One where you’re not allowed to eat anything raw, since it hasn’t been sterilized well enough." I paused for a moment, wondering if I should keep it quiet but decided against it. Damn it, I couldn't hold it in any longer. "It’s bad for the baby,” I continued. Jae Shin stopped for a moment, almost marinating the thought in her head before her eyes popped open in surprise.

 

“NO WAY!!!” she squealed, jumping up and down and holding onto my hands. “Oh my god, congratulations unni! How long?”

 

“Doctor says I’m entering my fifth week now.”

 

“Oh my goodness, what did sunbae-nim say? He must be ecstatic.”

 

“He doesn’t know,” I said smiling, putting a finger over my lips to tell her to keep it to herself. “I haven’t seen him in a while and I don’t really want to put a burden on him when everything’s so chaotic.”

 

“What? So when?”

 

“After the first concert.”

 

“Three days?”

 

“Three days.” Jae Shin reached up and gave me a huge hug.

 

“I am so, so happy for you. People say all this stuff about you being sunbae-nim’s wife but they don’t know you and how good you are to people. To me. You deserve such a special gift.” Her words were laced with so much sincerity that I couldn’t help but feel the tears sting my eyes a little. It’s nice to know that people cared. I left her to go back to her practice and I went upstairs, hoping to get a word with sajangnim about my future activities. As I waited in front of the elevator, the doors opened in front of me to reveal Ji Yong, leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, hoping to get just a few seconds of rest. I looked at him, a small smile on my face, and waited until he opened his eyes and stared right into my awaiting ones. I missed him, I realized. I missed him so much.

 

“Ri Ah,” he said, almost as if wondering whether I was real. 

 

“Hai,” I replied happily. He reached out to entwine his fingers with mine and was about to pull me into the elevator with him when he looked up at the CCTV camera hoisted up on the corner. With a small frown, he decided against it and instead walked me out of the building, into the car park and inside his Lamborghini. 

 

“Babe, I have work,” I said laughing.

 

“Ten minutes. I just need a snooze with you in my arms.” Thank goodness his car was facing the wall, and we were surrounded by two vans on either side giving something close to privacy. “Come here.” He turned the stereo on and Etta James’ beautiful voice streamed out of the speakers and the beautiful slow beats of a love song reached our ears. He reclined his chair and laid down, and I moved on top of him so that my head was on his chest. I could hear his heart beat and every breath he took, and immediately I was calmed. He held me tightly and finally I realized that a feeling of truly deep sleep was starting to take over me. I never realized how much of an effect his presence had for my wellbeing. It must’ve been longer than ten minutes because I heard a knock on the window and Nam Gook oppa’s face squashed against it, trying to see through the tinted glass. I stirred awake and so did Ji Yong.

 

“God he’s ugly,” Ji Yong mumbled as he saw the frightening sight of his beloved hyung’s face. I chuckled a little before putting the window down. 

 

“Two minutes oppa. Promise,” I said, and before I could get his reply I put the window up again. Oppa just sighed and walked away.

 

“We actually fell asleep,” Ji Yong whined as he placed his hands on the small of my back and sure enough it was slowly making its way under my shirt so that it was caressing my bare skin.

 

“I miss you,” I said.

 

“I know.”

 

“I wish you weren’t so tired.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I’m so lonely at home, all by myself.”

 

“I know.” I placed my lips on his soft ones, urging him on as I ran my fingers through his air until he finally caved in to me. He held me tighter, his entire body responding to my every move, and then I peeled away.

 

“Until your first concert darling,” I said. With a soft peck, I opened the door of the car and stepped out. This was absolute torture. 

 

 

AN: Oh god, I feel horrible. It's way overdue I know. Enjoy everyone and thanks again!