He’s been gone a really long time. Where on earth did he go to get some air? The Han River? I fiddled with the e-ticket in my hand, trying to come up with a strategy to make things better but all I could think about right now was finding him. Aggravated I got up off the couch and exited the studio for a walk-through of the entire building. The YG headquarters had grown immensely in the past few years, now with an additional building on its left that was connected by a sky walk. With its new groups and other new talents, the sajangnim thought it was only right for it to expand with additional rehearsal spaces and studios along with other administrative offices. I was walking through the dance studios which were all basically filled with trainees and young artists who I recognized on television. The thing with expansion is that it’s hard to keep the idea of ‘family’ when you have dozens of artists under your wing. Someone is bound to slip through the cracks and be forgotten under all the red tape.

I peered through one of the doors and saw a mixed group consisting of two girls and three guys practice a routine, their moves not forcefully synchronized but full of passion and charisma; it was just them having a good time.

“Wow,” I mumbled to myself and turned around to continue making my way down the corridor when a girl, looking like she was running for her life, bumped into my shoulder. It sent me a little off-balance but it got her toppling over and crashing onto the floor.

“. Are you okay?” I asked, walking over towards her. Long, jet black hair covered her face, and she kept her head down as she picked herself up.

“I’m so sorry. Sorry,” she kept on repeating before continuing her run towards a dance studio and rushing inside. I chuckled silently to myself, remembering how self-absorbed I used to be when I was that age, when I looked down and saw a notebook at my feet. It was old and tattered, the papers no longer kept together by the staples, and as I picked it up a couple of pages flew out.

Is this all that this world brings me? When I try my hardest people laugh. Then when I hold myself back they call me the deadweight. I don’t understand it. What am I supposed to be then?

I open the book and place it inside then follow the next sheet of paper.

Jae Shin-ah, just give it one more day, then another one after that. They’re going to see you with their own eyes, and then they won’t be able to ignore you then. And all of this, will be worth it.

The last page had landed right in front of the door she went through and as I finally put the book together I peered inside to see three girls practicing their dances while she sat at the back, looking at her feet and keeping her head down.

Would it matter then? When I’m no longer here, I mean. Would they recognize me then?

I knocked on the door and saw as four pairs of eyes came to meet mine through the glass. Taking a deep breath I pushed it open and smiled as brightly as I could as I greeted them.

“Sorry for interrupting. I was wondering if you girls could help me with something.”

“Who are you?” a girl with bleached hair asked me as she went over to turn the music off.

“I’m just a new girl. Hey, is there someone called Jae Shin here?”

“Back there,” she said, pointing to the girl that I bumped into. This time though her black hair was swept back and she was looking straight at me, or straight at the notebook in my hand, with big brown eyes that looked like she was scared for her life.

“Thanks. Are you guys practicing?”

“Of course, like we always are when we’re here.” I caught the less than subtle side glance she gave to two girls in the background who were trying to stifle their giggles. If I could guess what was going on in their heads, it would be something along the lines of ‘Is this woman an idiot or what?’. From my experience in London though, I was used to it.

“She’s not.” I motioned to Jae Shin with my head.

“She was late and why does this matter to you?” the bleach girl asked, her eyebrows raised.

“So what, that means she can’t practice?” The girl shrugged at my question.

“Rules are rules,” one her back-up singers said. Of course she would say that. Rules will be rules when they work for you in a situation like this. I bet Jae Shin had never been late in her life except for today.

“Good, then that means she can come with me. I owe her a meal.”

“You can’t just do that, we have to practice,” bleached-hair girl said.

“I-I can’t go. I have to be here,” Jae-Shin’s soft voice rang out. I looked at the sight in front of me and nodded in understanding.

“Alright. I’ll leave this until whenever then,” I said and slightly motioned to the book in my hands. It must’ve done the trick because before I knew it Jae Shin was pushing me out the studio door while apologizing to the girls.

“10 minutes,” she murmured, then closed the door behind her. “Give it back,” she immediately told me, her hands outstretched and a little shaky.

“What, this old thing? I was going to throw it out for you.”

“It’s mine.”

“I saw what was inside,” I said. She froze and tried to look away from my gaze.

“It’s none of your business,” she murmured.

“I think it is though. Everyone should know about what’s written here.”

“You wouldn’t…” I could feel her voice trembling with panic.

“Sajangnim especially. Maybe he’ll do something about it.”

“Don’t…”

“Then everyone will know-“

“GIVE IT BACK!!” she yelled then snatched the book from my hands. I was taken aback by how loud she could actually scream, and saw the three girls inside look towards us, suddenly interested at what was going on outside.

“So you CAN talk back,” I said, amused. “Turns out you have a temper after all.”

“What do you want from me?”

“Nothing,” I said, shrugging. “I just wanted to meet the girl who wrote that, because it’s some pretty amazing stuff.”

“What?” Jae Shin asked, confused.

“It’s your lyric book, isn’t it?” She didn’t reply, probably because she didn't know what to say. "I like what you've written down. People should hear it. Your honest thoughts I mean."

"You don't know anything about me."

“Hey, is she bothering you?” the bleached girl’s voice suddenly came through. Their door had opened and three heads had popped outside the studio. I saw Jae Shin hide the notebook behind her and shake her head in reply.

“Not anymore,” I said smiling. “I just wanted to say good luck with your practice."

“Ri Ah! There you are,” Ji Yong’s voice caught me off-guard as it resonated down the hall way. I heard whispers of excitement come from behind me, fan-girl ones for sure. Ji Yong had on an exasperated face, a little red as if he just came back from a good work out. “I’ve been trying to call you for the past 20 minutes.” I hadn’t realised I didn’t bring my cell with me. Whoops.

“Sorry, I left it in your studio.”

“Yeah, I figured,” he said, then took it out of his pocket and gave it to me.

“Oh, uh, do you know these people? This is Jae Shin and um…” I trailed off as I pointed to the rest of the girls.

“It’s our first time meeting I’m Si Young,” said bleached hair girl, bowing.

“I’m Mae Ri,” said the other.

“I’m Mi Sun,” joined the final one. Ji Yong gave each of them a small bow in return.

“Oh, you’re the girls that Hyun Suk Hyung were talking about. You guys are real talented. Keep up the good work.”

“Thank you,” the four girls said in unison.

“We have to go,” Ji Yong said to me, his face suddenly growing in panic again.

“Why?”

“Bom nuna’s in the hospital right now. Hyung just called.”

“No way,” I said, a grin spreading from ear to ear.

“Come on.” He took my hand and pulled me away from the girls and their squeals of excitement as I turned around and waved goodbye.

“Nice meeting you!” I called back, and a little awestruck Jae Shin slowly waved back at me, her expression adorably blank.

“Oh my god, that must be the girl people were talking about,” I heard someone say behind me, as doors left and right started to open to whatever noise was coming from outside.

“Isn’t that G-Dragon oppa’s girlfriend?”

“I heard that they’re married now.”

“She’s really rich right. I heard that she was.”

“I heard she’s a total and dated a bunch of celebrities.”

“She’s so beautiful though. Totally femme fatale.”

“How long do you think they’re going to last? I bet you in a month it’ll be over and done with.”

“He’s way too good for her.”

Ah, gossip, I couldn’t help but think to myself. You can’t live with them, but you can’t live without them. I quickly grabbed my handbag upstairs then met Ji Yong in his awaiting Brabus in the car park. It was close to midnight now and it was raining outside, but maybe because of the news I didn’t find it sombre at all. It was like the rain was a cleansing mechanism, a time for new life, new clean slates and a time for new hopes.

“Slow down. If I didn’t know better, I would swear that I was the one pregnant right now,” I said. Ji Yong was basically in his own fast and furious movie, and while I had complete faith in his driving, I really didn’t want to get to the hospital in an ambulance.

“It’s the first Big Bang baby, don’t you know?”

“Oh my god. You’re right. That feels so weird.”

“I feel really old right about now. Where on earth has all this time gone?”

“From being sad, and worried then happy and excited. It goes by really fast,” I explained. Ji Yong glanced at me when we stopped at an intersection and entwined his fingers in mine. I kissed the back of his hand, and lovingly lifted it to my cheeks.

“What were you doing in the dance studios,” he asked me.

“Looking for you. You were gone for so long.”

“I shouldn’t have done that. I promised you I wouldn’t.” That’s right, I mused. When I first came to Korea a few years ago we had a fight at his apartment over something, I couldn’t even remember what now, but it left him so angry that he left me alone in that big empty place of his. I slept by myself on his huge bed, and I remember crying myself to sleep. I hated feeling that way.

“What were we even fighting about back then?” I asked.

“That we had our own dreams to chase, and we were holding each other back.”

“Ah, that’s right.”

“And then you gave up yours.”

“And I gained something even more precious in return,” I replied. I reached out and slowly combed the hair on his head.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve asked you. We’re a team now. But babe, that’s all I’m going to apologize for,” I said. I saw Ji Yong tense, and grip his hands strongly on the steering wheel.

“Of course you’d say that,” Ji Yong replied.

“Han Byul unni did it all the time. Se7en oppa was fine with it.”

“I’m not hyung, you know.”

“I know. But all I’m trying to say is I’m doing it because I believe in the brand. I’m not doing it because I want to be a symbol. I mean, I’m not going on the cover of MAXIM or Playboy and I never will.”

“Let me just ask you this. If I still said ‘no’, would you still go through with it?” he asked me. I froze and quickly retracted my hand from his grasp. Would I? Should I be somewhat honest and hurt his feelings, or should I give him something like a lie and feel guilty towards myself?

“I don’t know,” I said. It was all I could really say at this point. We pulled up into the hospital and parked there in silence. I felt bad, I really did, and keeping our emotions at bay, I followed Ji Yong into the hospital and up the lift towards the maternity ward.

AN: Enjoy everyone! I'm so glad I can still keep this story running fairly well, and hopefully keep you guys interested. Thanks again for reading it! Love the comments!