“Since when were you married?” Dae Kwang asked, pointing to the gold band on my ring finger. We were at the briefing of a photo shoot for a lingerie brand called ‘Wilder’, aimed for female young adults. I’ve been recently selected as their main model, which was literally an offer that came out of the blue and with that came an opportunity to get my name even more known. Dae Kwang was the principal photographer, a figure I’ve been familiar with from another endorsement last year. I love their products, something for the ‘in-between’ women who was still looking for cute and comfortable, yet wanting to grow up for a little more y and daring styles. Let’s just say, they know what they’re doing with their laces.

“Since last month,” I said, a little embarrassed as I touched the ring.

“Your husband’s a very lucky man.”

“Thank you.”  I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face even as the meeting continued in a rather dull manner for the next couple of hours. It’s different, being married. I mean if you look at it from the outside I guess not much has changed except for the fact that we were now living in the same house. But there’s just this feeling that I can’t shrug off, as if the two of us have this type of symbiotic relationship where I’m not me without him, and neither would he be. It’s a strange notion to wrap my head around, and yet it made such perfect sense. And of course, there’s that major plus of calling Ji Yong my husband now. Even thinking of it gives me butterflies.

My family and friends had gone home a few days after the wedding, and after spending some time as the filial housewife, cooking and cleaning and most importantly taking care of my husband, I decided it was time to go back to the real world and real responsibilities, starting with this meeting. The holiday season was now officially over.

“Congratulations Erica!” a petite girl with the most perfect hair bob I’ve ever seen approached me at the end of the meeting. She was one of the editor’s, a great one at that despite her young age, and I smiled at her knowing that the word had spread. Before long an entourage of staff has crowded around me at my seat, trying to get a look at the ring and asking me questions about the wedding. Some had even asked if it was a shotgun wedding due to a lack of fanfare and the rush in which it was in. I answered them all happily and honestly, joking around if necessary but when they asked me who the groom was, I only had one answer.

“He’s a man I can’t live without,” I stated simply. Then the girlish squeals echoed around and you could find me in the centre of it all, the perfect representation of a new, blushing bride. Dae Kwang approached me just as I was exiting the building a good half hour later, getting ready to visit Ji Yong at his studio. He had a cigarette in his mouth, probably having gone through more than half his pack even if it was barely past noon, leaning against the wall. I noticed he fit every stereotype of a freelance photographer, stubble on his jaw, casual clothing, ruffled dyed brown hair and this air of eccentricity that could really intimidate someone.

“Going to your next schedule?” he asked me. I shook my head.

“It’s starting off as a slow year I’m afraid.”

“Trust me, it won’t be like that for long.”

“Let’s keep our fingers crossed then,” I said, chuckling. I guess it came with the territory, he really knew what to say to keep his models happy.

“But Erica…”

“Yeah?”

“Your career is just about to take off, and I know that it’s going to go places you’ll never even dream of. Don’t get pregnant just yet, alright? I’ve seen so many people get ruined all because of a matter of bad timing.” I frowned at him. Is this guy serious? Who was he to give me orders on how to manage my affairs, especially one that involved my family?

“Look, it’s just a word of advice. Take it or leave it,” he said, sensing my animosity. I never really was good at hiding my feelings.

“I know what my priorities are,” I said and then walked away towards my incoming car. I almost banged the car door shut, scaring my manager, in fury which I really didn’t know what it was projected at. Dae Kwang was just stating a fact, but still, what kind of mother would I be if I said my child was ‘bad timing’? Getting pregnant isn’t an event, it’s a privilege.

My head had cleared by the time I came into Ji Yong’s studio, where mind-blowing music was blasting through two giant speakers perched on either side of the recording table. TOP and Teddy oppa along with Ji Yong were nodding their heads to the beat with a bass rhythm I couldn’t get out of my head. This was going to be good, my amateur-ish skills posited. Silently I took my seat at the back, and while TOP and Teddy nodded at me, Ji Yong was completely lost in his own world and didn’t even give me a glance. I’m used to it and actually found his little ‘my own world’ moment quite endearing.

“What if we add a snare to it, and drop the bass an octave?” Ji Yong mused.

“Go ahead, try it,” Teddy said to the sound tech, and the short guy in a black cap hunched over the computer started to make the changes. They did their little listening and amending routine for a while as I flipped through the details of the ‘Wilder’ shoot and their product catalogue, not even bothering to say a word. I guess I’ve fallen into this habit of not interfering with Ji Yong when he's at the studio, like this was the place I would take the back seat when it comes to music. This would be the only place however, that I wouldn’t mind being second.

“How’s your first day back at work?” Teddy asked, peering at the photos of and bras that were laid out in front of me.

“Alright…” I answered, following his line of vision. I’m guessing he liked what he saw.

“Are you going to be their model?”

“Yup.”

“Say… you wouldn’t happen to get product samples, or anything like that would you?” I laughed and nodded.

“I’ve got a couple down in stock somewhere. I’ll give them to Dara unni for you.”

“Best. Sister-in-law. Ever.”

“Why?” TOP joined in. Teddy pointed to the catalogue and in a couple of seconds the same request came through.

“Don’t rush my order though,” he explained, “Bom’s going to give me the s if I come home with these, telling me it makes her feel fat. The baby is giving her hell.”

“It’s going to be a long week,” I said. She was due any minute now but for some reason their future daughter liked being with her mom more. Even I was getting antsy when I talked to her over the phone. Bom unni refuses to take a step outside the house, getting nightmares about having her water break in the middle of the shopping mall or something so we take rounds entertaining her at their house.

“How long have you been here for Ri Ah?” I felt the warmest touch on my shoulder, and I glanced up at Ji Yong who gave me a tired smile that I returned.

“A while.” I leaned my head on his hand, and for some strange reason, the guys took it as their signal to leave, and said their goodbyes to the both of us. It wasn’t like we were making out in front of their faces, or even kissing.

“What’s up with them?”

“Ah, it’s nothing,” Ji Yong said in a not so convincing manner.

“Tell me.”

“You know what hyung said to me the other day?”

“What?”

“That we have this thing where even when we’re talking to each other, they feel like they have to look away.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Apparently we look way too intimate.” I liked that thought, the idea that no one could deny our relationship. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

“Sorry, babe. I can’t help it,” I said.

“Me neither.” And Ji Yong swivelled my chair around to face him, and leaned down towards me, his two hands on the table behind me to support his weight.

“I missed you this morning,” he whispered, and kissed me, his lips tenderly moving with mine and with a single taste, I was straining my body to get more of him. Maybe this was why they look away, because the both of us look like we’re getting ready to jump each other at any moment.

“Did you like the breakfast I made you?” I asked him, when we were leaning against each other on the couch just talking.

“It’s going to kill you, stop making me food. You need your sleep.”

“It was quick, don’t worry. And plus, I felt bad for leaving you alone like that after so long.”

“I’ll get used to it Ri Ah,” he said, kissing the top of my head lovingly. “By the way, what’s with the underwear catalogue the hyungs were looking at?”

“New client. They wanted samples, obviously.”

“Your client?”

“Yeah, who else?” I turned to face him and was caught off-guard by his less than happy expression. “What’s wrong?”

“You never told me you were going to be a lingerie model.”

“Yeah, not yet. Oh my god, don’t tell me I was supposed to get your permission first or something?”

“Not permission Ri Ah, but a little heads up wouldn’t hurt.”

“So you could say no?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re my wife and I really don’t like to see you half on a huge billboard in Gangnam.” I furrowed my eyebrows at his response. Honestly, this was not a conversation I was even thinking needed to take place. Ji Yong was cool, his mind set was more liberal and things like these were seen as just another job, another opportunity, not a question of customs and morals.

“Well when you say it that way, I wouldn’t want to be there either. But obviously, it’s not as black and white as that, is it?” Ji Yong stared at me, a little dumbfounded expression on his face. I never took my gaze away from him, this was a fight I had to win or that whole symbiosis notion I was going at earlier would have been pure crap. It would be into something more of an ownership. I know I’m being stubborn, Ji Yong’s done so much for me, but what happens here would set a precedent for anything that came after, and this was not how I wanted our married life to start out as. It took a while, but Ji Yong’s stern expression slowly began to melt away.

“I don’t own you. As much as I actually wish I did, I know that. But this is a marriage Ri Ah, do you even know what that means? Because I don’t think you do,” Ji Yong said. “I need some air.” He got up from the couch and walked out of the studio, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I was speechless, and didn’t even try to stop him wanting to just have a good lashing out like we always do. We’re both quite hard headed so we fought till the end, until we could reach some kind of compromise that we both agreed on. Except this time he wasn’t angry or annoyed, he was just bored. Why was he bored?

I took a deep breath and got up from the couch. Our first fight since we got married, one of many I was guessing and this was the one thing I did not look forward to despite knowing that disagreements are part of an organic relationship. I just hope that one day it doesn't break us. I paced around the rather large space, trying to convince myself why I was right to uphold my side of the argument when I eyed a small envelope right beside the keyboard. It was half open out of pure boredem and a hint of curiousity I peered inside to find an e-ticket under our names for a return trip to Bali next week. 

"Damn it," I said to myself. I had told him I was alright with not having a honeymoon. He was crazy deep in the production process right now for the new Big Bang album, and it didn't feel right pulling him away. Yet here they were, two tickets to an escape. Of course Ji Yong would do this. 

AN: This one's quite long, hope you enjoy. Thanks again! Last two paragraphs are a quick add on.