I lay down on the couch, mindlessly flicking through channels on the television. It was another lonely night after a difficult work day, one without Ji Yong. He was busy, as usual. Tiresomely I closed my eyes and shook my head in disbelief. I had always hated clingy people, but this was exactly what I was starting to turn into. I knew Ji Yong had a lot to do, his girl group was in the middle of producing another album and this was the time where his creative mind needed to gear up and start churning out hit songs. But it also meant that I had lost a little part of him. It’s the small things, but they stood out to me, like his shorter text messages, he doesn’t linger after dropping me off and there are days where I don’t even hear a word from him. Since we’re living apart everything just seems so much worse.

Suddenly I flash back to a couple of days ago when he was sitting in the lounge at YG having a talk with a bunch of their in-house producers. I wanted to take him out to lunch but seeing him so absorbed, I didn’t want to interrupt and so stood around waiting for them to finish. The way he talks, his facial expressions, his mood when he was with them, I noticed it was so much more different than the way Ji Yong was when he was with me. When he’s there, he just seemed so much freer, more animated and more… natural. Why wouldn’t he? As much as we loved and understood each other, we didn’t run around in the same circles and so that amount of unfamiliarity was only to be expected. I just wished I wasn’t so bothered by it. Looking at the ring on my finger I was reminded of how much the both of us went through to get to where we are. I mean, that had to amount to something right? Then why are the insecurities I silently harboured unnerving me? I looked up at my television when bouts of laughter suddenly erupted from its speakers. I wasn’t laughing, not one bit.

Ji Yong was promptly in front of my house at nine in the morning on a chilly Saturday, waiting inside his Brabus. I came out of the door lugging a fruit basket in one hand and flowers in the other. For the first meeting with your fiancé’s parents, it was only natural to go all out. Ji Yong was already laughing from the moment he saw me walk out of my door.

“I guess even you go overboard sometimes,” he joked as he grabbed the parcels from my hands and placed them in the boot.

“This is nothing. You should’ve seen what I had originally planned in my head to bring for your parents,” I honestly said. A beef set, ginseng, handwritten letters, those were just some ideas to begin with. As much as I trusted Ji Yong’s words, I couldn’t really say that I was safe until I had actually met them face-to-face. Then there was his older sister as well.

“We need to drop by YG before we head there though Ri Ah. Hyung said he needed to talk to the both of us,” Ji Yong explained when we were driving on the freeway, the Han River glimmering beside us. That’s strange; Ji Yong I understand but he couldn’t possibly need me for anything.

 “Do you think he found out about the engagement?” I asked.

“I told him.”

"...” I had my ‘I knew it’ face plastered on. In fact, I was surprised he didn’t do it sooner considering how close the brotherhood was over at YG. “Young Bae oppa as well I’m guessing?”

“And Teddy hyung, Tablo hyung, all the members, Choice… you’ve got it.”

“How did they react?”

“A little too overboard, as if it was something of miracle. If I told them I won the lottery you would’ve gotten the same reaction.” I laughed at the image. There must’ve been some bromance and a lot of shouting going on then. In the middle of it all would be Ji Yong, all adorably embarrassed but happy; just like I am now.

At the YG building, I drew some strength from the smile which was on sajangnim’s face as he sat across from us on the lavish white couch of his penthouse office. I also smiled to return the favour.

“Have you watched Young Bae’s music video Erika?” he suddenly asked me. Ah, he wanted to start with the small talk.

“I did. It turned out really well.”

“Much better than we had expected. Erika did you know our agency has been receiving calls for the past week from advertising and production companies trying to find out who you are?” I blinked. And then I blinked once more before turning my head to look at Ji Yong.

“Did you just hear what I heard?” I asked him. From his slow nod I knew I wasn’t mistaken.

“What did you tell them hyung?” Ji Yong asked.

“Of course I understand you want to keep her life as private as possible. We told them Erika wasn’t interested, but Ji Yong the amount of calls coming in are no joke.”

“I knew people would take a liking to her, I mean how couldn’t they? She’s absolutely beautiful.” I blushed at that.

“What exactly do they want with me?” I wondered.

“Your face on their brands, some journalists just want to know who you are even.”

“My face? I can’t believe it.”

“So what are you going to do Erika?” sajangnim suddenly asked me. I was taken aback by his words, what did he mean what was I going to do? “An opportunity has landed on your lap here.”

“How on earth could this happen…” I muttered. This wasn’t even an opportunity, I would count this as just one of those strange things that happen to you in life, and then you laugh it off as a good story to tell. But then why am I not saying ‘no’?

“Hyung, don’t you know that the reason we broke up last time was because of the whole ‘public attention’ issue? I don’t think this is what Erika wants this mo-.”

“I’ll do it,” I blurted out. Both men stared at me with confusion in their eyes. That’s it I have officially lost my mind I decided. “I- I think it’ll be fun to do a project or two, just to see what it’s like.”

“Ri Ah, hang on a minute,” Ji Yong started. “Don’t make any hasty decisions just yet.”

“Ji Yong is right,” sajangnim agreed. “It is a big deal Ri Ah; we’re talking about your face spread around Seoul here. Think about it a little more and get back to me.” I wasn’t really going to change my mind, but I listened to what they said. The moment we left his office, Ji Yong became incredibly silent and just stoic. He didn’t like this, not one bit.

“I never really check what’s happening online so I never really knew,” I said when we were once again in the car, this time heading towards our original destination. I couldn’t stand seeing him being so indifferent like this, so open conversation here we come.

“I don’t understand you Ri Ah. Why do you want to do this all of a sudden? You’re not interested in these kinds of things,” he finally said.

“I know, but I think it would just be a good experience.” I frowned. “Wait, why are you so worked up about this?” He didn’t answer, and just turned up the radio to hide the silence and frustrations. I had never seen him like this; it felt as if I just betrayed him or something. This wasn’t supposed to be a big deal. I leaned back on the car seat and crossed my arms, trying to gain some composure and peace of mind. Anger wasn’t really the best emotion to meet your future parents-in-law with. All I knew was that I wanted to do something different with my life for once, and this chance just came at the right time. A part me saw this as a way to look at Ji Yong’s public life from a new perspective, the other went back to that time in the beach when I was in front of the camera and I actually just had fun doing it. I felt some surge of excitement, and getting that feeling back wasn’t such a bad idea. Then again I may have just needed any excuse to get me out of a nine to five work day in a high rise building.

AN: Update #1. Next two are coming up soon!!