Tears escaped my eyes as I looked down at Kibum, he looked lifeless, exposed, defenseless,  mostly hurt. I didn't know how long he was hanging there for.  What hurt me most was knowing he was in enough pain to make him attempt to give his life, and I didn't even say hi once nor did I try to help. I didn't even know. I gripped the pale boys hand harder. I wish he could feel it. I wish he knew that someone cared.

 

The medics in the ambulance attached him to IV cords, and took blood, and did other stuff, while I just sat there and held the boys hand telling him everything would be okay. He didn't know. But I promised him that I would be there for him forever. I would keep that promise. 

 

I could hear the sirens from the car, through the window I could see cars slowing down for us, "its okay Kibum, we'll be there soon love" I whispered to the boy. I wish he would open his eyes, and talk to me. Just to let me know he would live. That he would be okay. I never said one word to him. I was always scared of his rejectio. Now I regret it. It could possibly turn into one of the biggest regrets of my life. 

I felt a pull when the breaks stopped I dashed out of the car, letting the medics do their work, I let them roll the lifeless boy into the hospital with the stretcher, so he could be brought to surgery, I soon got escorted to the 'waiting room' to sit and relax. How could I possibly relax?  I landed hard onto the first seat I saw, bashed my face into my hands and cried. Just cried. I had never dealt with anything like this before, it was terrifying, someone you have a crush on, giving their live. Well trying to. To think if I didn't even follow him home...he would have succeeded. Well he could have succeeded I would hear the news soon...but he would have been on that rope longer if I didn't barge in. 

 

It felt like hours, sitting in the waiting room. My eyes were red and puffy, and my mind was on Kibum, every second. Not one minute passed where he wasn't off my mind, I threw my hands back into my hands, and prayed for his health, for him to be okay, that he would wake up and be completely fine.  

I took a glance at my phone 24 missed texts, and 10 missed calls. 

I threw it back at my pocket. I was ignoring everyone. It was for the best. I felt a light tap on my shoulder, I whipped around, shocking the nurse. 

"um, Mr.Kim, your friend is out of surgery, well, I don't know what to say, yes, he will be okay, but he's in a coma. And we don't know when or how to get him out of it. It could be years until he wakes up the doctor said."

I stood there with my jaw dropped, again tears filled my eyes, I couldn't help but feel responsible. "let me see him, now." I growled at the nurse. 'room 15' she said politely, and scurried away. I started walking down the twisting halls, seconds later I found my self in a sprint. 

'ROOM 15' I saw the sign ahead of me,  I practically fell into the room panting, I saw him, tangled in cords and drips, a breathing mask over his mouth, eyes closed, his brownish black hair sitting lightly on his forehead, I rushed to sit next to him, pulled a chair next to the bed, and intwined our fingers, I rested my head on his arm, and fell asleep, crying and whispering to the younger. Telling him I was there,

that I would always be there.