"Alright...pull yourself together, Sooyoung..." I mumbled to myself as I forced my weak legs to stand up but I think about her face and fall back down on my chair. "Ahh..." I whimpered. "Choi Sooyoung, you're so stupid to allow yourself to fall in love with her..." I wiped my tears but it was useless when new tears shed from my eyes right after I wipe my face. "You just met her...and...I'm even dumb enough to have the slightest hope to even think that she'll have the same feelings as I do." I cried harder. I cover my mouth to keep myself from crying out loud. I don't want to cause any trouble and give more stress to myself. "She's a celebrity. You're...nobody. Don't chase her and end up failing." My heart aches so badly. I want it to end. It hurts so much, how can she have such a big impact on me when we just met 2 days ago? Ugh...you're so stupid. I'm weak and fragile...my heart will probably never be fixed again and...I still can't bring myself to fall out of love with her. I'm not even hungry right now. 

  

 I for a few more seconds and I'm finally able to stand up and move -- barely. I sling my backpack over my shoulder and slowly started walking out of the school grounds. Maybe if...I never met her, I would never experience this feeling. This feeling of regret. I haven't experience this kind of grief in my entire life, well, except for I had to skip lunch and only had a bit of dinner but back to the point, Lee Sunny...how can one small person enter and break the walls of my unopen heart so fast? 2 days, bam! I fell for you...You make me feel so stupid for falling for you. 

  

 When I stepped out of the school doors, a cold breeze blew against my skin, I shivered and zipped up my coat. It was nighttime already and I wasn't able to see the sunset all because I cried. I kick a small pebble to my way home. 

  

 Besides, when she's a celebrity, why would she choose me when she has so many admirers rather than me? It's gonna be one in a billion. And my luck never works for me. Ever. I sighed deeply. 

  

 Those brown locks of hair...aegyo filled smile and actions...your kindness...that cute little yellow bag of yours that says 'A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered drawer, reading it always cracks me up...Your modest...Why did you have to be attractive?! I sighed heavily. The pebble hit my house's front door.

  

  "I'm home!!" I shouted. It echoed through the whole house.

 

  "Oh welcome home, honey!" My mom appeared from the living room. "How was school?"

   

  "Fine." Horrible.

 

  "Made any new friends?"

  

  "No." I walked up the staircase. 

 

  "Hey, I heard that Lee Sunny transferred to your school?" I stopped dead on the middle of the staircase, here comes the feeling of heartbreak again when I just started to calm down. It took me a few seconds to come back to my senses but I finally shook my head and continued to my room. 

  

  "So you heard."  

 

  "Is it true?" I placed my hand on the doorknob.

  

  "Yes." I said and turned the knob. I dropped my bag and slammed the door. I breathed in and out and went out to my breezy balcony. I looked up to the starry night, trying to keep myself calm but when I remembered the time when I lips brushed, I couldn't keep calm. "LEE SUNNY!! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO COME INTO MY LIFE!!?" I shouted. "You're so cute and energetic that I can't help myself..." Before I knew it, I started to laugh madly for no reason. If you didn't know my situation, you'd probably call the cuckoo hut. The cold night wind wasn't even affecting me one bit because of the feeling of heartbreak. A few minutes of laughing loudly...I dropped on my knees and tears started to flow again. 

 

  I don't know what to do anymore...I made a rational decision. "Choi Sooyoung, you're going to promise yourself that you're going to be cold to Lee Sunny and avoid her okay?! If you break that promise, you won't have any sweets for 2 weeks!!" I blackmailed myself.

  

~~~~~

 

  I woke up with sunlight around me that's overflowing through the windows and balcony doors. My eyes builded up a crust from all that useless crying last night, thanks to her, I cried myself to sleep. An annoying and very familiar beeping sound rings through my ears, I groan and slam the snooze button for an extra five minutes. Unfortunately, 5 minutes seemed like 30 seconds to me and groaned louder when I heard its annoying beeping sound once again.

  

  After giving up by the second ring, I dragged myself out of bed and forced myself to take a shower and everything else before going to school.

 

  I took my time eating my breakfast, having three helpings of food as usual and grabbing my bag and heading to school. I walked casually, as if it was a usual day and nothing was wrong, the last thing I need was being noticed and the news will eventually get to Sunny which will lead to her talking to me. Yeah, I know, I overthink.

  

  When I arrived to the door of the classroom, I peeked first at her chair. Crap...she's already there...I mumbled to myself. I clenched my hand into a fist and breathed in and out. "I can do this. I can do this." I encouraged myself. "Fighting!" I said and did the fighting sign. I slid the door open and she turned to look at to see who was here, she smiled in delight when she saw me but when I saw her smile, my heart broke into a million pieces. I forced myself to keep my real feelings in and put on a calm face and went to my chair. She ran towards me and hugged me tight. "Sooyoungie!" She squealed happily. I felt envious eyes staring me, they're burning through my skin. I pushed her away gently. She pouted. 

  

  "Sunny-ah. People are staring." I can't believe that I talked to her. I walked past her and put my bag down and sat calmly but of course, she sat beside me.

   

  "Sooyoungie! Let's go to lunch together again!" She said, ecstatically.

  

  "Uhm. I have to meet with the cooking club that I'm in." I'm not good at this.

 

  "O-oh...I didn't know you were in the cooking club." Neither did I.

 

  "I just joined yesterday."

  

  "I see...well, maybe tomorrow?" I was sure that she was hoping in her words. I so wanted to say yes but there's no way that I want my heart to experience a harder time

  

  "Mmm..." I pretended to think. Sunny waited for an answer eargerly. "I think I wanna eat alone for tomorrow, it's been a while since I did." What kind of excuse is that?! 

 

  "O-oh...okay...some other day then..." She said dissapointed. Good thing she bit. I sighed, releasing my guilt and showing relief when she wasn't looking. 

  

  But..."Class, pick partners again, judging by your results yesterday. It seems that you learn better when cooperating with your friends so pick your partners." Mr. Kim said with a smile and started to pass the papers.

 

  "Sooyoungie!! Let's be partners again!" She said eagerly. Her aegyo smile was pulling me back but I released myself from my desires and was about to open my mouth to decline but Hyoyeon came to us.

 

  "Hey Sunny-ah! How about we become partners this time?" Sunny looked at me for permission. I had no idea why though. "I'm sure that Sooyoung won't mind, right?"

 

  "Yeah. Sunny let's be fair and be partners with Hyo, I was your partner yesterday anyways." I said and faked a smile. 

 

  "O-okay..." Sunny frowned and turned to Hyoyeon.

  

  "Great. C'mon, Sunny ah!" Hyoyeon said and pulled Sunny hand towards her chair. I, of course, didn't have a partner since I had no friends so I had to answer it alone because everybody else had a partner and the class's total number of students was 41, an odd number.

  

~~~~

 

  I tried my best with the first 4 periods from avoiding contact and bonding time with her, I always encouraged myself because I know that I was protecting myself and not doing anything wrong at all. But by lunch, I almost cracked.

  

  I ran out of the classroom and go to another quiet spot I found around the campus. I sat in a corner and hugged my knees. "I miss her...I can't stop my feelings...I wanna be close to her...I don't want her to be far away from me..." I mumbled to myself. I can't handle this...it's only been 5 hours and I can't handle it anymore. I want to say yes to everything she says but...I can't break my promise to myself and let my heart be hurt. 

 

  This is a very very very bad condition that I am in and I can't do anything about it. 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

I did a double update because I found my last chapter to be too short ^^