A:N/ Ah I'm so excited about this chapter, and hopefully you're all going to enjoy it too. Did everyone love Niel in the last chapter, he's pretty awesome in this story I must say. One of my favourite characters, But this chapter is the one you've all been waiting for, the one where you find out what made L. Joe stop being Chunji's friend. Are you excited now? Let me know whether or not you saw his reason coming, I'm hoping that you won't and it'll be a surprise. Enjoy the chapter!

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He heard the loud noise, telling him that he had received an instant message while he was in the shower. He would have preferred to go and see who was messaging him immediately, but he was in the middle of rinsing the shampoo out of his hair. While he picked up his pace, there was nothing he could do, to make the process go any faster, so it took him another 10 minutes before he found out who it was.

He padded out into his room, intent on getting dressed for bed before he went to check his computer, already having half-forgotten about the message he'd received during his shower. After getting changed into his pyjamas, he wandered over to the screen, expecting to see a message from one of his friends.

CAP tended to text him, since he didn't go on the computer much at his place, so he figured it was most likely to be Niel that was messaging him. After all, Niel had said that he'd go bug L. Joe about talking to him about what went wrong. Perhaps he was messaging him to let him know what had happened, when he saw L. Joe that evening?

He was shocked to see that the message he had received 10 minutes earlier was actually from L. Joe. He fell into his seat, shell-shocked, unsure if it was even worth answering. His heart raced, happily at the sight of the sentence, in the chat box; it was the first time L. Joe had made any attempts to contact him since that trip to his parents place. He was a little repulsed with himself for getting so hopeful that L. Joe wanted to be friends again, all because of one stupid message.

He'd probably only sent it because he'd sent Niel over to pester him, knowing that L. Joe was still speaking to the younger boy and that he wouldn't settle for anything less than getting what he wanted out of L. Joe. Besides, he'd sent the message so long ago now, that he'd probably decided to logout, not having received a response from him quickly enough.

He'd probably missed the first chance he'd had to try and talk to his best friend. He was also a little annoyed to find that this was the first thought that had run through his mind, instead of finding out why L. Joe had started ignoring him in the first place.

He eyed the chat box again, hesitating for only a second before he responded to his friend's comment.

L. Joe: So..... I see you haven't blocked me.... Psychologically speaking, that seems like a good sign....

Chunji: I think that depends on what you mean.

There was a momentary pause where he watched for any signs of life from the page. L. Joe was still listed as off-line, and there was no text telling him that L. Joe had started typing a response. He was probably gone. Chunji would have no way of knowing otherwise, and so, with a disappointed sigh, he returned to the bathroom, in order to brush his teeth.

He heard another loud ping a few minutes later, and so he raced out of the bathroom, toothbrush dangling from between his lips, in his hurry to find out what L. Joe had said. L. Joe was talking to him again, and he had not only initiated the conversation but he was now continuing it as well. Surely this must be a good sign? Still, it didn't tell Chunji anything about why they'd stopped talking in the first place, and the ache from that neglect still lingered in his mind.

L. Joe: Ah, so you are there after all! I meant that I'd sort of expected that you would have blocked me or something, because of the way I've been treating you lately.

Chunji: I suppose I could have, couldn't I? Sorry about that, I was in the shower. I guess I forgot to sign out before I left.

L. Joe: I'm sorry.

Chunji had to pause at that remark, re-reading it several times, because he couldn't quite convince himself that it was there. L. Joe was apologising to him? But L. Joe didn't say sorry. He'd never heard him say it before, and he'd never heard of anyone else hearing him say it either. Surely he wouldn't be apologising for ignoring him and severing their friendship? How could an apology ever be enough to make up for such drastic action? Surely if someone felt the situation was bad enough to warrant that sort of end to their friendship, then things would have to have been pretty bad. Why would something so bad have just dissipated into thin air, such that L. Joe was prepared to apologise over it?

Chunji:....... For what?

L. Joe: What do you mean, ' for what?', you know what for.

L. Joe: Or haven't you noticed that I've been ignoring you?

Chunji: I noticed....

L. Joe: Exactly.

Chunji: It's just, in the context it seemed like you were apologising for me missing your message or something.

L. Joe: What on earth are you talking about? It did not.

Chunji: Yes it did! You said it out of nowhere! You could've been apologising for anything!

L. Joe:...... That's just how I roll... You should have realised as such by now, what with your being my friend and all....

Chunji: Oh I'm a friend of yours, am I?

L. Joe: I already said I was sorry!

Chunji: I know that... what I'm not allowed to have a little hostility at being left out of this? I can't say that I'm used to being ignored by my friends, and I definitely wouldn't call the experience a happy one!

L. Joe: I know, I missed you too. That's why I apologised.

Chunji: So you were apologising for ignoring me?

L. Joe: Didn't we already sort that out?

Chunji: No! I asked and you didn't give me an answer!

L. Joe: >rolls eyes< fine. I'm sorry for ignoring you for the last few weeks. Happy?

Chunji: That depends...are you talking to me now?

L. Joe:...... Does it look like I'm talking to you now?

Chunji: Well, duh. I meant are you going to ignore me again after this?

L. Joe: It'd be pretty stupid of me to come crawling to you, begging you for forgiveness, only to go out and do the exact same thing the next second.

Chunji: Begging me?? That's your idea of begging me?

L. Joe: Yes.

Chunji: Seriously? Arguing with me is your idea of begging?

L. Joe: I apologised didn't I?

Chunji: Oh how could I forget... I'm talking to the L. Joe, here aren't I? The boy that doesn't do apologies, so of course for him an apology would be tantamount to begging for forgiveness.

Chunji.... I meant that to come out sarcastic, but it does sound pretty accurate, actually.

L. Joe: I figured you'd notice, eventually. You are pretty smart after all.

Chunji:.... So has it gone away? Is it all better?

L. Joe: What are you talking about?

Chunji: Well, I figure that you must've had a reason to ignore me like that. It must've been pretty bad to make you turn around and say that you didn't want to be friends anymore. So, for you to be apologising and saying that you'll stop ignoring me, does that mean that whatever was going on has blown over?

L. Joe: What I was concerned about, hereafter dubbed 'the Thing.' will never be going away.

Chunji: Then why are you talking to me again?

L. Joe: Because I missed you.

Chunji:...... And?

L. Joe: Who says that there was an and?

Chunji:..... And?

L. Joe: What did I just say?

Chunji: Was it Niel?

L. Joe:.... Niel may have had something to do with it.

Chunji: Knew it.

L. Joe: So you should, since you're the one that set him on me, like that!

Chunji: I'm telling Niel you talked about him like he was an attack dog or something.

L. Joe: You're the one that used him as an attack dog or something!

Chunji: Did not. Niel did it of his own volition.

L. Joe: Yeah I know he did. He wouldn't have told me what was happening to you, if you'd sent him. From what I can tell, you must have been very ugly these last few weeks.

Chunji: Only if I was ugly when I took you to the formal. Because as far as I know, I haven't had any plastic surgery in between now and then.

L. Joe: I didn't mean appearance wise. From what I've heard, you've been very depressed. From what I've seen, you certainly seemed like you were moping. You're too thin now.

Chunji: You've seen me? Stalker!

L. Joe: Says the one that uses an innocent school kid to hunt me down.

Chunji: Well what was I supposed to do? You were ignoring me!

L. Joe: I already apologised for that! Besides, I did have a reason for doing it, you know! It's not like I wanted to do that. As I said, I've missed you too.

Chunji: Niel said that you were handling it about as well as I did.

L. Joe: Partial truth. I would have handled it a bit better if I'd had a recording to listen to over a hundred times, or a note to cry over, and hug in my sleep. Niel said that you cried all the time. I didn't know you were a crybaby.

Chunji: Well if you handled it as well as I did, then that means you were crying too!

L. Joe: You have no witnesses, so you can't prove that.

Chunji: I really love that song, just so you know.

L. Joe: I gathered as much, mister 189 plays on iTunes.

Chunji: It's my song, I can play it as many times as I want!

L. Joe: Did it make you happier or sadder?

Chunji: Happier, I suppose. But not in a healthy way.

L. Joe: How can happiness be unhealthy?

Chunji: Unhealthy, if you really were leaving forever. Because it was giving me something to cling onto, in the hope we'd be friends again.

L. Joe: Aww, I'm touched. You make it sound as though you love me.

Chunji: Love? We're friends, nothing more.

L. Joe: You say that, but sooner or later everyone falls for my charms.

Chunji:.... Arrogant much? If you were only re-establishing our friendship so you'd have someone to boast to, I might have to rethink accepting that apology of yours...

L. Joe: No.... I was fixing our friendship, because... well... In the first place, I'm the one that broke it, and was keeping it broken... because I realised that it wasn't helping matters, what with the impact it had on the both of us, and because I missed you.

Chunji:... I'm not used to hearing you say that you miss me..... Do you want money? Is that what this is about?

L. Joe: What? No I don't want money!

Chunji: I'm just saying that it's weird, it's not like you.... it makes it seem like you want something.

L. Joe: A little from column A and a little from column B.

Chunji: There was no column B.

L. Joe: Column B = I'm relieved that you've agreed to be friends again, and am expressing my feelings honestly; as a display of affection.

Chunji: You said a little from Column A as well.... So you do want something?

L. Joe: Some advice.

Chunji: What about?

L. Joe: About 'the Thing'.

Chunji: What about it?

L. Joe: Well, see I don't want to tell you what it is.... You finding out about it, is by this point like the worst thing in the universe that could happen.

Chunji:... Okay... So then how am I supposed to give you some advice about it?

L. Joe: Because, that's just in my opinion. Maybe you'll disagree? Since my solution didn't work out very well for either of us, I figure I need some help. When I need help, I ask for it.

Chunji: Okay... Well, I'll try my best. Tell me what you can, and I'll see what I can do?

L. Joe: Well, as I said, ' the Thing' is never going to go away.... It's really bad, like really really bad.... It's definitely something you'd prefer had never happened.... I can't change the past, but me being around makes it almost definite that the truth will come out, which will make you unhappy. I thought that me getting rid of our friendship might make things better for you, by postponing, perhaps indefinitely, you finding out about ' the Thing' but neither you nor I want to end our relationship in order to do that. So I guess, I want to know what solution you think there is to the problem?

Chunji: I don't really see the problem?

L. Joe: It's a catch-22. To keep you happy, I need to keep the secret. But in order to do that, I have to break off our friendship, which will make you sad. So what do you think I should do?

Chunji:..... Well.... ' the Thing'.... Who does it involve?

L. Joe: Our parents.

Chunji:.... I see.... I think you should just tell me this secret. It's worse for things to continue as they are based on a lie, right?

L. Joe: If you think so.....

Chunji: I do.

L. Joe;... Promise you won't hate me? Or that you'll try not to, at least?

Chunji: Promise. I'm not going to be angry with you.

L. Joe: You say that now, but that's only because I haven't told you what it is yet.

L. Joe: Okay here it goes......

L. Joe: There was an affair.

Chunji: An affair.... Between who???

L. Joe: Your father and my mother..... It was a long time ago, but...

Chunji: Oh God.... Are you my half-brother?

L. Joe: What????? NO!!!!!!!

L. Joe: The affair was when we were kids.

Chunji: Oh thank God.

Chunji felt a little bad that his first thoughts were for himself, and his own happiness. But he would have never been able to even think about having feelings for L. Joe if the boy was family. It would have been unforgivable. It would have been a crime. It would have been.... his brother!!!

But now that his first, selfish fear had been alleviated, the full weight of what L. Joe had said crashed down upon him. He had to keep re-reading that one sentence, over and over again. His father. His father. He had cheated on his mother. It just sounded so.... There wasn't... It couldn't be true, surely. It was so dramatic. It was the sort of news that belonged in movies and TV dramas. Surely, not in his own family?

But those words continued to stare back at him; unchanging. He may not have gotten along with his father, but he never would have thought; never would have suspected that he could do that to his mother.

The thought of his mother sent a small jab of pain to his heart. His poor mother. She loved his father so much. She always had. She was so distraught about the tensions between father and son, since he'd announced that he was gay. She so desperately wanted them to make their peace with one another. All this time, she would try to defend and explain him, when that man had.....

He was overcome, by his grief. That was the only emotion he could think of, to describe how he was feeling at the moment. He was so angry, but the shocking secret, just.... He didn't really want to accept it.

Sure he'd hated his father for years, because of his inability to accept his son being gay. Sure he'd harboured resentment towards the older man for his prejudices. If he'd been able to, he would never have had anything to do with the older man, when the issue first came to light. The only reason he'd backed down in their arguments for all this time, was for his mother. The one saving grace for that man had been the fact that he was married to his mother. That he'd taken such good care of her for so long; that he loved her.

And now he hears that really, he'd gone off with another woman behind her back.

He was angry for her. For his mother. How dare his father do this to her. Didn't he care about her feelings? Didn't he care that his affair would destroy her? Didn't he care how humiliated she'd feel? Did he only care about himself, all this time?

But at the same time, there was nothing he could do about it. As L. Joe had pointed out, that was all in the past. He couldn't change it. Besides, it would do him no good to think too much about it right now. He shouldn't dwell on the matter. Bad things happened when people rushed in, full of emotions about things like this. He'd have to address it with a cool head. He didn't want things getting out of hand when he confronted his father about his affair.

He wasn't about to go to jail for murder. He'd handle things calmly. That's what being a mature adult is all about anyway, right? Being able to handle a situation in a responsible way. That's what he'd do.

Chunji: Sorry... Needed a moment to process that....

L. Joe: No doubt.

Chunji: Are.. Are you sure that they really....

L. Joe: Without a doubt. It was the reason my parents got divorced. The moment my father found out about it, he filed the papers.

Chunji: I see... so then, He asked me to take you to your formal....

L. Joe: As a favour for his ex-mistress....

Chunji: He said that all her old friends had either lost touch or taken her husband's side in the divorce.

L. Joe: They did. The moment they found out my father was divorcing her for having an affair with a married man. She didn't have anyone else left to go to for help.

Chunji: Forgive the intrusion.... But why would she use her only remaining favour in Korea, to get you a date for your formal...

L. Joe: Because she knew I was planning on going back to my father, back to the US, at the end of the year. I think she was hoping that she'd keep me around if she were to support me in a way my father never would have.

Chunji: Support you?

L. Joe: She thinks I'm gay.

Chunji:...... Um....

L. Joe: I know what you mean... I've tried telling her I'm not, but she's convinced that I'm lying because I'm still in the closet. She was hoping that if you were to take me to the formal, it'd give me an opportunity to indulge that part of myself, in the hopes it'd give me the courage to come out, and that I'd then stay here.

Chunji: Why would you stay here, just because you were gay? Isn't the US a better place to be if you are gay?

L. Joe: Yeah it is... Unless your only support comes from a single family member, who happens to be intensely conservative, who would throw me out of my home for it.

L. Joe: If I were gay, I would only be able to depend on her for support. She'd be the only person I'd have left.

L. Joe: Doesn't change the fact that I'm not gay though.

Chunji:..... It must be really awkward round your place.

L. Joe: Not really. Mum isn't home much; she has to work really long hours to be able to support us. You know gender discrimination in the work place and all that.

Chunji: Oh right. That must be lonely.

L. Joe: Nah. It's nice to have time to myself.

L. Joe: So... Do you hate me?

Chunji: Why would I hate you? That's something our parents did.

L. Joe: I dunno, because it is my mother that your father had an affair with.

Chunji: This is why you stopped being friends with me? Why?

L. Joe: Because, I thought... If we were still friends, and then you found out... I know you love your mum so much, and this affair will hurt her when she finds out about it. Which means that it'd hurt you when you found out about it. I mean it tore my family apart when the affair came to light... If I was there when that happened to you... I'd be like the personification of the affair itself; the woman that destroyed your family. I didn't want to see you looking at me like that. Tears in your eyes, looking at me with nothing but hatred and pain, that I can't do anything to ease. But at the same time, I feel responsible. Because it is my mother that hurt your family... I feel like it was me that brought all of this on you.... Without me, you could have continued on, never knowing and everything would have remained happy and fine in your family.

Chunji: Okay let's see first of all, I would never have blamed you. It's not your fault that our parents did what they did. And second of all, my family is not happy, and everything is not fine between us.

L. Joe: You would too. Its called transference....or is that displacement? Anyway, you might not even realise you'd done it until later on. Really? You seemed it when I saw you with your mother. The two of you seem so close; so happy.

Chunji: Yeah, me and mum get along well. But that doesn't mean the whole family is great. My brother is a non-entity now that he's grown up and started a family of his own so it's just me and my parents. Even then, things have been tense between my father and I for quite some time, as it is. There's a lot of hostility between us. We don't see each other much.

L. Joe: Tension? About what?

Chunji: He can't get over.... something.... so we fight...

L. Joe: You only just found out about the affair though.

Chunji: It's not that. We have something else we fight over...

L. Joe: Oh....??????

Chunji: Why did you decide to end our friendship that day?

L. Joe: I already told you, I was worried about the affair coming to light.

Chunji: But if that was your concern, then why become friends with me in the first place?

L. Joe: Because, I didn't realise it was your father my mother had an affair with. That day we went to your house, as we were leaving, your father came home. He didn't even see me, but he looked over at the car, when he got to the door, and I saw his face and I just.... There was a photo, sent to my father... that's how he found out about the affair... I saw it when I was younger... I recognised your father as the guy in the picture and I just..... I froze... I'd known about the affair, and I knew that you were the son of her only friend in the country, but I hadn't known she'd had an affair with your father, I swear.... It all started to click together, you know? I couldn't... Your family had been so happy, everyone was still together.... I decided the safest thing I could do for all concerned would be to bow out gracefully.

Chunji: So then you weren't angry with me? When you were acting all hostile and unfriendly during the trip back?

L. Joe: No... I was trying to gather the courage to say goodbye to you when you dropped me home.

Chunji:.... How can you turn around and say stuff like that to someone without getting embarrassed?

L. Joe: Because I'm awesome.