A:N/ Sorry to anybody who saw chapter 13 when it was listed as being rated. I must have accidentally checked the box, without noticing yesterday when I updated. I think I fixed it now, but do let me know if I make more mistakes in the future. I'm not sure there's going to be any rated content in this story (I know, i'm such a bad author, I've really got to get more used to writing rated content), so I'd really like to apologise if I got your hopes up. Also, I know I probably sound sad and desperate, but feel free to talk to me. I don't have many friends on this site and I'd love the chance to make more. Everybody seems so friendly on here, and I'd love the opportunity to get to know some new people. I think I'm going to stop bothering you now that I've embarrassed myself, but I hope you enjoy the chapter!

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Chunji was nervous as all hell. He had no idea what he was doing there. It was already after 6pm; the sun was setting. It'd be dark soon, and yet he insisted on lingering out the front of the school hall. It was freezing, and he caught the slightest flicker of movement, as his breath whooshed past his lips; a white puff of air forming because of the low temperature. People eyed him, curiously as they passed.

He wondered if it was because they could see something written on his face; in his features that told them all about him. About what he was doing there; who he was there to see. He wondered if they knew he was a college student, there to see a high school student he was friends with. A completely random and fairly recent relationship all things considered. He was convinced that every person there could see all of that with just one look. He was sure they must've been glaring at him; looking down on him. He was certain if he caught their gaze he would see looks of disgust and horror and outrage glittering there. That's why he couldn't bring himself to go inside yet, despite the cold and the approaching darkness.

He felt so uncomfortable, he kind of wished that he could just stay there for the rest of forever. Perhaps even go home, instead; never seeing the performance and giving some excuse to L. Joe later. But he wouldn't. He couldn't just leave; he wanted to be there. He wanted to see L. Joe play. Especially, knowing that L. Joe wanted him to be there so badly.

Just thinking that, made his cheeks flush darkly, which only intensified his feelings of discomfort, convinced everyone knew what he was thinking and saw him as some sort of ert. He wasn't really a ert was he? The between them was minuscule at best, surely? He didn't have any untoward intentions towards L. Joe, did he?

He hated feeling so guilty about a friendship he was so reluctant to let go of. He realised with only a mild sense of horror, that L. Joe was the closest thing he'd had to either a friend or a boyfriend in a year. All things considered, that was probably part of why he felt so guilty about their friendship. He felt like he wanted too much from L. Joe; expected too much from a kid, that had yet to even finish school. He felt like this whole relationship might be one-sided. But L. Joe had said that he liked him. L. Joe was the one to invite him to come, and said that he wanted Chunji to be there.

But could this just be one of those things where he, as the older and thus more responsible boy should be looking out for L. Joe? Should he assume that because L. Joe was younger than him, that he didn't really understand the meaning Chunji was seeing behind such words? Was he supposed to treat him like an ignorant child, and dismiss him altogether?

But L. Joe was the least childlike person Chunji had ever met that was younger than him. He was certain; he could see it in L. Joe's eyes that he understood what he was saying; what his words could be interpreted as meaning. And despite that, he'd still said them. He was only a few months shy of graduating; of becoming an adult, shouldn't that count for something?

Round and round his thoughts swirled. He really didn't know where he stood in this whole thing. If they were just friends, then that should be all that mattered, it's not like he was pursuing L. Joe or anything.

So why did he feel so guilty about their friendship whenever he was made aware of their respective ages?

And how much more aware could he be made, than he was now, standing in front of the younger boy's school hall about to attend his final talent show performance as a high school music student?

- -

The show was... not what Chunji had been expecting. He'd only attended one talent contest back when he was in high school, and that was only because they forced all students to attend. Only the students that were interested in the performing arts had performed and they tended to brag about their performance for weeks leading up to the event. Seeing the real thing, tended not to live up to the hype they fanned, but they would then pester everyone for feedback about their talent. On the off chance he heard them receive criticism, they tended to ignore it, and so it wasn't even worth arguing with them over it. It was tortuous.

From what he could gather from the programme, there were either a lot of people who thought they were talented enough to perform, or it was mandatory for performance students to be there. Either way, there were a lot of people he was going to have to watch that evening. He hoped that the students were better than his classmates had been.

Every time he caught sight of L. Joe stepping out onto the stage, he couldn't help but smile. His heart raced with his excitement, for his friend. He'd never known that L. Joe was so talented! He was never the main star, and yet he was one of the most commonly found people on the stage. He had to be on-stage at least 4 times. He was always there, in the back, playing his violin or the piano, for someone else.

He always drew Chunji's eye, despite the fact that the other performers were more talented than any of his classmates had been. Why wasn't every one else's eyes drawn to the teenager whose fingers glided across whichever instrument he played?

Why was L. Joe keeping him so entranced? Yes he was there in order to support his friend, but that friendship, didn't mean that he was supposed to pay so much attention to him. He wasn't supposed to respond to him so violently. He wasn't supposed to stay there scanning the sides of the stage, looking for the slightest glimmer of floppy, blonde hair.

The entire show was a blur to Chunji, and before he knew it, he found himself stumbling out of the hall, where the talent contest had been held, into the freezing grip of the outside air. Inside the hall, the combined body heat had made the place stifling, so the cold air, blowing on him, was calming; a relief. Chunji took several deep breaths, not really sure what to do with himself at this point.

Most of the people that had been crammed into the hall, were now milling about on the grounds of the school, near the entrance. Friends and family of the performers, no doubt, waiting for their loved ones to come from backstage, in order to take them home. They came out in trickles, followed almost immediately by camera flashes, and excited shouts and peals of laughter.

He considered just sneaking out. It was already after 9:30 pm. He wasn't going to get to bed until at least 10:30; a late night. If he stuck around, he'd only end up more tired the following day. He was already tired as it was, having several assessments due that week, and the week before. He really would've preferred to use that evening to get an early night, but he'd come to support L. Joe. He'd done that, surely that meant it'd be okay for him to leave?

He was embarrassed and uncomfortable, standing outside in the middle of the night, surrounded by people he didn't know. The whole thing only made him feel even more aware of the between the two of them. He felt older than ever. There would probably be plenty of other people waiting to congratulate L. Joe. He wasn't the shy, unpopular boy his mother thought that he was. L. Joe had a lot of friends. Several of them were performers too, he'd seen all of them there that evening, in fact. Niel had sung while L. Joe played the piano for him. Changjo was part of a dance troupe. Ricky was in a drama performance.

L. Joe wouldn't be alone. All his friends would be with him. He'd be fine, he probably wouldn't even miss him, if he were to go.

But L. Joe said that he wanted him there. L. Joe said that of all the people that he knew, he wanted Chunji to be there the most of all. It's so hard to see when you're up on stage, with those bright lights blinding the performers. He probably couldn't see any of his audience when he was up there. Chunji wasn't even sure if he'd seen L. Joe look up so much as once, while he was performing; he was so focused.

He probably hadn't even seen Chunji yet. If he left now, L. Joe might think that he'd abandoned him; that he'd never come, despite knowing how badly he wanted Chunji to see him.

He couldn't leave yet. He had to see L. Joe before he left. He had no idea what he was going to say to him, especially not if all of his friends were around, and yet he knew that he was going to stay. He wanted to be closer to the other boys, but they made him feel so uncomfortable. These boys were even younger than L. Joe, and he was uncomfortable with their friendship as it was. He wanted to be as close as he was with CAP.

The two of them were getting along great. They saw each other all the time, at university, and occasionally outside of it. But it was never anything special. He was nervous, while CAP didn't talk much, but the older man was a lot of fun. They'd been getting closer gradually, but they were good friends now, and Chunji could count the number of those that he had on one hand.

Despite everything else floating through his mind, Chunji found himself wishing that he could be good friends with the other boys too. But he'd feel so nervous, with L. Joe standing right there. He wouldn't be able to do anything, to actualise that goal. He'd either have L. Joe's dark eyes boring through his body, or he'd feel the icy chill of L. Joe's cold shoulder.

He shifted about slightly, the cold wind that had been such a relief to him mere moments earlier, was now making him feel cold. He tried to draw himself inwards, hoping to maximise his body heat, but all he could focus on were the harsh slices of chill wind biting into him at the edges of his sleeves, his collar, where his hoodie finished at his waist. He eyed the doorway, agitated, wishing that L. Joe would just hurry up and leave already.

Appearing, almost as if by his pure will alone, L. Joe materialised in the doorway. He saw the way the boy stumbled backwards slightly, as he tried to push open the heavy wooden door, clearly not having expected the resistance. He had to stifle a chuckle at that. He looked so small; so cute at times like that. Moments where it seemed as though Chunji was the only person in the universe, who was watching L. Joe.

The cold breeze that struck him as he made it outside, seemed to knock him back another half a step. He huddled close, drawing his hood over his head, to try and ward off the chill. Chunji swore that when L. Joe raised his head slightly, his piercing gaze barely discernible beneath the cotton hood pushing his fringe into his eyes, that he'd seen him. He felt himself smile in response, convinced that L. Joe would be over any second.

L. Joe returned his smile with a small smirk, but Chunji only managed to catch sight of it for a moment; he couldn't even take a step, before he was pounced on from behind. L. Joe was surrounded by his friends, Niel was jumping on his shoulders, pushing his hood down over his face in the process. L. Joe stumbled forward, only to be enveloped by Ricky, in a sideways hug, while he held a camera above them, the flash going off multiple times, while L. Joe struggled to break free from the other boys' grip. They were laughing at him, and Chunji couldn't be sure but he thought he might've seen the slightest hint of a pout on L. Joe's lips.

He wished he could've seen that more clearly.

He tried to push aside the sudden feeling of irritation that swarmed his body. He realised his feelings must've wiped the smile off of his face, judging by L. Joe's hard look a second later, as he shrugged Ricky and Niel off of him. Neither boy really noticed, too taken up with taking photos of themselves with Ricky's camera.

He felt bad for worrying L. Joe. This was a big night for him, he shouldn't do anything to detract from that. He wasn't even sure what came over him, all he knew is that he wasn't as happy as he was a moment earlier. He wondered vaguely if it had something to do with seeing Ricky cuddled up with L. Joe, or perhaps the way Niel was draped over him, but now was neither the time nor the place to muse over that possibility.

He noted the odd look that Niel was tossing in L. Joe's direction, as he made his way over to Chunji. He murmured something to Ricky, who seemed to have paid his words no attention, as he started taking photos with Changjo instead. Niel appeared just as happy as the other boy, but a little more subdued than Ricky. Chunji recognised him as L. Joe's partner for one song. He was a really good singer; his voice full of passionate emotions, he appeared too innocent to have experienced himself. He recalled L. Joe complaining to him, whenever he mothered him, that he was acting like his friend Niel. So maybe they'd have some common ground?

Either way, this could be a good opportunity to start making friends with the other boy. It's not like he'd realistically expected to be able to have a conversation with L. Joe by himself, this evening, anyway.