For the following three weeks Jiu was more asleep than awake, his body being too weak to stay awake longer than 10 minutes for first days and for 30 minutes the rest. It was hard for SungYeol as in those short moments of consciousness Jiu had to change those of Jiu’s bandages he couldn’t while other was asleep and make sure that the blond drinks and eats something. Never in his entire life SungYeol had so much responsibility on his shoulders and its weight slowly dragged him to the ground. 


His own sleep time was reduced to minimum, as all those nights Jiu was haunted by nightmares. Uncontrolled flow of Chinese left his lips, but it always ended near dawn, as if sun stopped all those images that appeared behind his closed eyelids and made the dark shadows of his past to leave. And always, at the very end of his every night torture, Jiu said SungYeol’s name and it made SungYeol anxious, as he had no idea, not even the slightest clue why would Jiu call for him, but never the less, he was always there – tucked in a spare blanket next to the mattress – near enough, but not as close as he would want.


He felt as if by not knowing what tormented Jiu every night, why he was so restless, he didn’t know a part of Jiu that was essential enough to bother the blond over and over again. He didn’t know almost anything about Jiu – about the Jiu before SungYeol met him, the Jiu he was when SungYeol wasn’t next to him, the Jiu that harrowed the sleeping Jiu. He wanted to know all of that, to know and understand and say for sure that he didn’t care. But for now… he started to care just because he didn’t know. 


Before he was okay with not knowing and living in his new world that consisted of two floors of a building and Jiu, but that world started to fall apart the day when they had to leave that house and it burst in to pieces in that night when Jiu barely made back and SungYeol blamed himself. Maybe, just maybe if he would have paid more attention, if he wouldn’t have been so ignorant, if he would have taken all of his courage and asked Jiu, then maybe, maybe the blond wouldn’t be deep asleep right now - freed from his nightmares by the rising sun. 


He had no idea how to help Jiu, how to make him feel better and this time he was too afraid just to rely on time that would heal everything, because there were times when time couldn’t heal anything – only another person could and SungYeol knew that better than anyone.


A wave of weariness mixed with his own shadows of past washed over SungYeol and his eyes slowly fluttered shut, the light of a new day warming his closed eyelids and making him to fall asleep for the first time in quite a while as before he had had only small naps. He woke up only when the hot afternoon sun started to burn his face and sat up, discovering that Jiu was gone.


There was a pile of used bandages next to the mattress and the medical supplies that stood on the nightstand were gone. 


“Jiu!” SungYeol stood up and called, hoping to receive an answer but received nothing but silence in return. “Jiu!” he called out again and moved out of the room, running straight in to the blond. His hair were dripping went; new layer of bandages covered his still healing torso. 


“Yah! What the hell do you think you are doing? You’re not allowed to walk around and wet the wounds more than necessary and disappear from without waking me up and…” SungYeol said, not realizing how loud he is until the sound of his voice bounced against the empty walls and came back to him. Red crept in his cheeks and he bit his bottom lip. 


“I’ve taken care of wounds like this before; I know what I’m doing.” Jiu said and went in the room, placing all he had took back on the small nightstand and took the bag that stood next to it, taking a shirt from it. 


“You’re not thinking of going anywhere, aren’t you? Because I am not going to let you because you’re not allowed to move that much and I have no idea how is it possible for you to walk around normally right now. And if you would leave now you could never come back and I am not going to let you and that’s it!” SungYeol spoke rapidly, not quite understanding what he wanted to bring across and stood in the doorway, clenching on to the doorposts. 


“Maybe you should take some of my medicine.” Jiu said, looking at SungYeol with amusement on his face, which was an actual emotion… There was an actual emotion on Jiu’s face and SungYeol mouth gaped open a little, his hands loosing their grip on the doorposts. “I can’t go anywhere, because everyone thinks I’m dead and… I really am.” Jiu said and pulled the shirt over his head, wincing a little.



“But… You’re here… How can you be…?” SungYeol stepped in the room. 


“That night, Jiu, at least in the way everyone knew him died. He betrayed and then was betrayed.” Jiu said and slowly sat on the mattress. SungYeol sat next to him. 


“Jiu… Will you… tell me your story?” SungYeol asked ready to receive a decline, but had to finally ask, he had to finally know who Jiu was and why he was who he was.


“If I will tell you who I am… was, you will leave, because everyone leaves when they have known me long enough.” How SungYeol wished he would have seen something different on Jiu’s face, not a heartbreaking expression of sadness. How he wished that Jiu would still speak just few words and not so many words that stabbed SungYeol’s heart, but how could he imagine that after what happened Jiu wouldn’t change?


“I am not going to leave.” SungYeol said and placed his hand on Jiu’s. The said blond took a deep breath. 


“When I was around 7… I guess 7, maybe more or less, I don’t remember or maybe I don’t want to remember, I was disowned by my parents, as they decided there’s no use of a boy who isn’t born in marriage. They kicked me out because of their own mistakes and I ended up on the street and living on the street in Beijing isn’t easy or nice.” For the first time SungYeol heard Jiu to speak that much and though the words he spoke were heartbreaking, SungYeol couldn’t deny how fond of Jiu’s voice he was.

“As a refugee at age of 10 I went to Japan, where I was soon taken in by a man called Miyaji, at least by this name everyone, including me, addressed him. He raised me and gave me home, food, training and discipline, but nothing more. He still kept me away from himself in separate rooms and as soon as it was possible in separate houses. He started to give me simple missions – bringing him papers, sneaking in to places, and finding people for him and as he said, I turned out to be natural in all that and if I would continue like that, one day I would be able to take revenge to those who threw me away and show them who I’ve become.” SungYeol tried to read the emotions on Jiu’s face, but they changes so fast and it was so unusual to actually see them that it was near impossible to him. 


“Is that what you’ve been having nightmares about?” SungYeol asked quietly and Jiu just nodded. SungYeol didn’t ask anything more and allowed Jiu to continue.


“Not long after I found out that Miyaji works for an organization called ‘New World Order’ or just NWO, and that they are planning on achieving something big in Japan in following years, and the year they chose for that was this year. It started with relatively small things – kidnappings and gaining some money for operations by ransoms, though no one ever asked that money from me and I still have it all; getting weapons and explosives from underground crooks etc. But some time ago the thing finally got serious and not only was more of NWO but also police forces joined in to this madness, which’s main purpose to establish a new autonomic district in Tokyo. The rest of the idea was unclear for me and I didn’t try to go deeper in it, maybe that’s why I lost my connection with this idea somewhere in the middle of all that and apart from this, as I thought, mutual respect between Miyaji and me, I continued to what I was asked to.” Jiu sighed and as if responding, as if showing that SungYeol is still there and still listening he squeezed Jiu’s hand a bit. 


“Then, somewhere in between al this mess you came around and I have no idea why but everything changed for me even more. I was… no longer alone and pushed away…” Jiu looked at SungYeol and SungYeol’s heart skipped a beat as the same intense, yet at the same time soft emotion that he had seen in Jiu’s eyes before was there again, burning trough SungYeol entire being.

“Everything changed even more when you said that you don’t want revenge on those who harmed you so much. It had me thinking about why I wanted revenge and did I really want it.” Jiu looked away again. “I had… have this feeling that you understand me, that you know this feeling of being afraid to be alone. Maybe that’s why I…” Jiu stopped what he wanted to say as if words didn’t want to come out. “I swore to myself not to leave you as long as you won’t leave me. And then, that night, I thought that I would have to break this resolution. Things went terribly wrong in the plan and something in my mind clicked making me realize that all this was not for me. I did something that made me traitor in Miyaji’s eyes and I got the highest punishment – three bullets. I felt betrayed though I betrayed him first and when I pressed the detonator, that blew the place sky high, all I thought about was that I can’t leave you.”


‘I have no idea what kept him alive till my arrival and what made him to fight for his life like this, but the reason must be really strong.’ the words of the man who ‘fixed’ Jiu rang in SungYeol’s ears loud and clear. Jiu thought about not leaving SungYeol when his life was at stake, he fought for his life because of SungYeol – he was the reason why Jiu returned that night. 


Without any second thoughts SungYeol took Jiu’s face in his hands and turned him, so that he could press his lips against Jiu’s, yet the kiss was short as Jiu pushed him away.


“SungYeol, I’m not the one who you probably think I am. I am not an innocent victim… I have done so much wrong… I have killed people…” Jiu said, the last part quieter. 


“I know… Well, I foresaw that.” SungYeol said and took Jiu’s hands in his. “You once said that you’re not the one, who leaves, if you’re not being left, so, I am not leaving you…”


“Because you don’t want to be left…” Jiu sighed.


“No, because I’m like that too – I don’t leave until I’m left.” SungYeol smiled as this was some sort of confession, not put in direct words be he hoped that Jiu got his message, and it seemed that he did, as his lips gently pressed against SungYeol’s in a brief kiss. 


“What if I’m determined of not leaving you… ever?” Jiu asked, his faces just inches away from SungYeol’s. 


“Then I’ll be with you as long as ‘ever’ will last.” SungYeol said and pressed his lips against Jiu’s again. He had missed that feeling so much that he had to control himself not to move too fast and don’t do anything stupid, as Jiu’s wounds still had to heal but none of them thought about leaving other any time soon, so SungYeol was ready to become one with this new, talkative Jiu as long as it was needed.

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aaaaaand I already posted chapter 7!!!
Jiu talks a lot in this one, because how else could he tell his story, right?
^_^
Here's more MyungYeol from 'She's Back' PV