A/N: WARNING! This is not fluffy!! I repeat! NOT FLUFFY! I can't make them happy... not yet! there are still a few obstacles Seunghyun has to face before I give them a happy ending... So this will be angst(?) until the end of the chapter...

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Choi Residence…

Jiyong was rummaging through Seunghyun’s belongings. He was about to put some of them in the attic when he stumbled upon an old notebook. He flipped the cover of the notebook he found out that it was Seunghyun’s diary. It mostly consists of his husband’s childhood memories, work experiences and some related to his past relationships. He chuckled at some of the entries cause it’s pretty much about Seunghyun’s stupidities and childishness but then he reached the last few pages of the diary…it’s mostly about him. 

These entries made his eyes watery again. He felt that dull pain in his chest again, the pain he was trying so hard to avoid. Then the last page came into view, as he was reading it more tears are falling from his eyes.

Seunghyun’s diary entry:

I keep listening to love songs even though it's not the genre I like at all. I don’t know why… maybe it’s because it reminds me of how important Jiyong is to me...I see and hear him in each song...no no...Not just in songs... I see him everywhere... in everything I do it's always somehow related to him...

I was happy and contented to the life I had... I was fine before… I didn't ask for him...but now that he's here I can't imagine my life without him... he's everything I need... no… He IS everything to me...

A lot of people asked me why I love him... I just answered, ‘it's nice to know the reason why you love someone...but isn't it nicer to just love and forget the reasons why?' that always make them speechless but I can see the admiration in their eyes... I sounded so cocky but I really can see it...

I pondered on it though... why I really love him...then I thought, when you love someone, that person becomes your reason for everything... so you love that person for he is he... just as simple as that... I love Jiyong because he's Jiyong... nothing else matters... Isn't that how love's supposed to be?

If ever passed away before him… I just have one wish… I wish that he would be happy… I want him to find someone that will treat him with much love he deserves… I want him to meet someone who’ll see him always as I see him…

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Later that night…

Jiyong was still crying. He was in bed, he was curled up while hugging Seunghyun’s diary. He closed his eyes, that night he prayed.

“I still love him… but I’m tired of hurting… please god… help me forget… please god… please…”

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In heaven…

Seunghyun was staring at the river, tears running down his cheeks. He sees Jiyong through the river. He just saw Jiyong read the last entry of his diary and he just heard Jiyong’s prayer.

“I need Jiyong.”

“That’ll change in time.” Dongwook said calmly.

“Oh, come on Einstein! Time's not on my watch anymore. Time does not exist here. And wherever it went, it's not going to make me need Jiyong any less!” Seunghyun shouted. Dongwook just sighed.

After a few minutes, Seunghyun spoke again...

“ Where is God in all of this?”

“Oh, He's up there. Somewhere... shouting down that He loves us. Wondering why we can't hear Him. You think?”

Now it’s Seunghyun’s turn to sigh. ‘Since when did he have such logic?’ He couldn’t answer his own question so he just watched Jiyong’s sleeping face.

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Choi Residence…

Jiyong was in the bathroom. He was holding a knife. He doesn’t know what he’s doing; his mind is clouded by pain, misery and agony. All he knows is that he has to end it all or else he would lose his mind. He can’t bear it all. Just the thought of losing the ones he loves kills him but now that he’s in the actual situation he doesn’t know what to do.

He took the knife and pointed it on his wrist.

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In Heaven…

Seunghyun was strolling around his ‘realm’ when he passed by the tree that Jiyong drew. He noticed that the tree has grown red leaves and one of them fell on his face and it transformed into something liquid. When he touched the spot where the leaf fell on his face, he saw that his fingers are covered with blood.

His eyes widened and…

“Jiyong…”

He ran to the river and there he saw his beloved in the bathroom holding a knife to his wrist.

“No… NO! NO! NO!”

“Seunghyun, what’s wrong?”

“J-jiyong…” Jin pointed his shaky finger towards the water.

Dongwook looked at what Seunghyun is pointing too and what he saw there shocked him to no end.

“No…” He said, still not believing what he’s seeing.

“What?” Seunghyun asked worriedly.

“This is not good! You know what happens if he commits suicide?”

“What?” Seunghyun was startled by Dongwook’s panicked voice.

“He’ll go to hell! He committed suicide! He broke the rules! “Thou shalt not” kill also includes not killing youself!”

“No! Ji! Kwon Jiyong! LISTEN TO ME! YOU CAN’T DO THIS! YOU CAN’T! YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR YOUR TURN! IT’S NOT YOUR TIME YET!” Seunghyun shouted as loud as he can, praying to God that his husband can hear him.

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Choi Residence…

No! Ji! Kwon Jiyong! LISTEN TO ME! YOU CAN’T DO THIS! YOU CAN’T! YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR YOUR TURN! IT’S NOT YOUR TIME YET!

He stopped the blade from sliding across his skin. ‘There it is again. Jin’s voice.’ But it was not enough to stop him from what he was doing. He pressed the knife against his skin and let it slide down until blood gushed out from the wound and the skin on his wrist was painted red. Blood was now all over Jiyong, the bathroom sink and floor.

“It’s over…it’s finally…it’s over…” He heaved a sigh of relief.

He had enough consciousness and energy left to walk from the bathroom to the bedroom. Bloody footprints were left in his trail. He reached for his phone that’s in the night stand. He dialed 119.

“Yeobsaeyo? 119, what’s your emergency?”

“I have a suicide incident in my house.”

“What’s your address?”

“0804 Hannam-dong, Yongsan-gu, Seoul, Korea ”

“Who’s the victim?”

For a moment, only shallow breathing was heard through the phone. After what seemed like an hour, Jiyong finally spoke.

“Me.”

After that Jiyong collapsed.

“Sir? Sir?”

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In Heaven…

 

“NO! no no no…” Seunghyun broke down while Dongwook was just staring at the water tears falling down his face. There was a suffocating silence and Seunghyun’s sobs were the only sound present. The sky that was once blue turned into gray. All the life in that place was now lost. After a while Dongwook came to his senses.

“You have to save him.”

“What?”

When Seunghyun looked up he didn’t see Dongwook. He saw a young girl, a beautiful young girl about the age of 8.

“M-miyoung…”

“You HAVE to save daddy Ji!” Her voice was shaky.

…

Seunghyun looked away.

“You know why I became uncle Dongwook?” Seunghyun looked at her, confused.

“Because he’s the only one you listen to. Listen to me now…save him!”

“I…I…”

“Please Dad…Please…”

But Seunghyun ran away. He walked out the door. He couldn’t save him. He just couldn’t.

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A/N: there's chapter 4! hope you like it! this story will end soon probably.. XD i just don't want to prolong this so maybe i'll end it by chapter 7?