"Miss ____ and Mr Tao, please stay after class." The teacher said to you both before she started the lesson. Your heart started beating quickly - what now? The last time you had to stay afterschool with Tao it wasn't good news. You were enjoying this - Tao and you weren't close. Why couldn't it just stay this way without any complications? You were dreading lessons to be over. You tried your best, taking a bunch of notes, some not even necessary, to keep yourself focused.

***

"Miss _____, I was looking over test scores from last semester and it seems you really lack in math." The teacher said eyeing you over her glasses.

"Yes." You said nervously. Where was she going with this and what did it have to do with Tao?

"I want my class in the best shape for the next school year. You're in your second year of high school and it's only going to get harder for here - obviously, you need extra help." The teacher went on. "Just get to the point!" You thought, not seeing the point in any of this. You just wanted to go home. "Tao, how do you feel about tutoring Miss _____? I saw your math scores and I was astonished! You really know your math! Did you focus on math a lot in China? I think you may even have the best scores in the school."

You peaked up at Tao. He wasn't going to tutor you. You almost wanted to laugh in this teacher's face for suggesting that.

"Sure." Tao said. You were still sitting there, trying not to hold back a laugh. "Tao, tutoring me? HA!" you thought. Then what he had just said registered. Sure? Sure what? "I'll tutor _____."

"Ah, great!" the teacher said, "Feel free to use this classroom anytime afterschool.. just not too late okay?" Then the teacher left like she was expecting you guys to start immediately. 

"So then.. let's begin?" Tao asked, unsure though he'd obviously sensed the same thing from the teacher. You just shrugged. You didn't want to be tutored, defianantly not by Tao. 

And you couldn't believe your math score had gotten so bad you needed a tutor. You were usually a top student. Yes, math usually did drag you behind if you didn't pay too much attention but last semester..

Last semester. It started making sense. Last semester so much things happened your grades started slipping. You suddenly felt really angry at Tao. The anger that you thought had disappeared but you were now realizing it had just faded to the back of your mind.

You glanced up at Tao. He looked off into space like he was in some deep thought. You felt so mad at him in this moment. You tried to push those feelings away but you couldn't. Tao had done so much to you and now he was supposed to tutor you everyday after school.

"Look Tao, you don't have to do this. Really." You said before thinking about it. You didn't regret it though, because it was true. You were hoping you could end of this right now and get help from Kai. Tao was silent still, focused in the distance. You just sat there. It had to have been 5 minutes before he spoke.

"It's fine.. it's just.. let's keep this a secret, okay?" Tao said. You were surprised. First, he actually agreed to this now he wanted to keep it a secret? "It's just.. it might be better this way.. since last time.."

You knew he was talking about the rumors that had started. What was he trying to do? Protect you? The thought angered you. You didn't need Tao's 'protection'. You didn't even want to be here. "Yeah, sure. That defianantly makes it easier for both of us." you said, sounding a little more harsh than you had intended. "I should go then." You said getting up.

"We didn't even do anything." Tao said sounding a little irritated. "You're making this so difficult. I know you hate me because of what happened but I'm just trying to keep you safe.. I wish you could know that." he thought.

"Well then what do you want to go over?" You asked, just as irritated, and sat down.

"Whats your weakness?" Tao asked you, sounding a little more calm.

"Math." You replied. A small smile crept onto Tao's face. You stopped breathing. This smile felt so familiar. It was just how you remembered it - all those times he gave you that smile. Heartwarming, like you had a friend, you got mezmerized by him so easily..

You catched your breath. You weren't falling for that again. Besides, when he looked at you and smiled it was all fake. Just so he could get to SoHee.

"Well, really? I thought I was help you with Korean." Tao said sarcastically. This made you smile. "Ugh, stop. You can't become friends with him so easily - he's just helping you with math. Keep it at that, ____!" You thought.

You cleared your throat, "Just help me with anything, okay?"

"Alright then, let's start with a review from last semester, shall we?" Tao said getting out a notebook. For the next hour you just sat there, listening to Tao explain all of these math terms you didn't seem to remember. But your mind was everywhere last year, how could you have? You had your notebook as well, copying down notes Tao took and him sometimes having to translate them for you because he had some in Chinese. You knew hanja and was hoping it would come in handy when you saw it, but really you were lost.

"Do you pay attention in any class?" Tao asked you, trying to hold back a smile. You blushed.

"Of course.. its just they don't teach us all of this advanced stuff in Chinese okay?" You said a little embarassed.

"Do I have to tutor you in that as well?" Tao teased you as he put away his notebook.

"Maybe. In return I'll tutor you in Korean?" You retorted. You felt amazing for that comeback. Tao laughed.

"Okay, okay you got me." he said. You playfully stuck your tongue out at him.

"You're such a kid." Tao murmured, smiling. You began to smile but then his words stung you. He had said that to you before. The last time you guys were really ever friends.. that long day you guys spent together.. when Tao.. Tao confessed everything.. You felt your stomach aching. It all felt so real again. Tao seemed to have remembered too because he became quiet and looked distant again.

"Well, see you Tao. Thanks." You said quickly, walking out of the classroom.

"____..." You heard Tao said, it was quiet though. Maybe he hadn't intended on you coming back. You just kept walking, you needed to get home and make dinner for your dad then get to work

***

"Dad! I'm home!" You called when you walked through the door. Your dad just sat lifelessly at the kitchen table where he always sat.

"Tonight dinner has to be quick. Let's just eat ramyeon okay?" You asked opening up the cabinet and saw you only had one packet left. "Wow. I really need to go grocery shopping, don't I?" You looked into the fridge and there was a bottle of water and a carton of milk that expired two days ago. "Where has my mind been..? Huh, dad? I'm going crazy aren't I?" You poured in the seasoning packet to the boiling water filled with ramyeon and went up stairs to quickly get dressed for work. You guessed you'd just pick up a few things at the market you worked at. You went back down stairs and poured the ramen into a bowl, making sure to turn off the stove. You always doubled checked that. You couldn't go to sleep without checking that the stove was off five times first. "Bye dad!" You said leaving for work. Then your day started playing through your head. "Great.. I have tutoring with Tao again tomorrow.." You sighed. Then you remembered what Tao said about keeping it a secret. SoHee, his girlfriend and your 'best friend', would probably be so upset if she found out you two had kept that from her. Why did Tao want it to be a secret anyway? Yes, there were rumors last time but that was last semester. It's not like he really cared about you anyway. "Tao is just so confusing. Why does he have to be so hard to read?" You then started comparing him to Kai. You didn't mean to, but you did it subconsciously. Tao was mean, confusing, manipulating.. Kai was sweet, caring, kind.. You were confused as to how you could have ever fell for them both. I mean obviously, Tao had something good about him. You believed everyone did. It's just, why did Tao make it so hard for you to see that? You arrived at work and slipped the two boys out of your mind, but the thought of them was still lingering.