On Your Own
Love & GuiltThe next morning, Siwon woke up to find himself sleeping alone. His arm stretched to the right side of the bed but it was empty and apparently it had been empty for a quite sometime since it felt already cold. His eyes wandered around the room looking for his boyfriend but he was nowhere to be seen. He got off bed and walked to the bathroom to look for him.
There was no sound of the shower so Siwon was starting to get worried. He opened the door but there was no sight of Cho Kyuhyun.
Memories of the night before flew back to his mind. It was perfect, so what could’ve gone wrong? Siwon was sure hoping it wasn't about the guilt part again. He went back to the room and walked to the bed side table to reach his phone and that was when his eyes caught a note lying there. It was obviously directed to him since there was “My Choi” written on its cover.
Siwon felt a tiny sting in his heart. He felt something was wrong. Where would Kyuhyun go this early in the morning? And without saying anything? And this note … Why do I feel like something bad is about to happen? Siwon thought before sitting back on bed and starting to read the note.
...
As much as the note broke Siwon’s heart, he couldn’t help but smile at his boyfriend’s cuteness. Although Siwon disapproved of most of what Kyuhyun said, but he didn’t know the latter was that sad.
When Siwon first started dating Kyuhyun, he promised him that he would always make him smile. That he would be there for him no matter what. But as time passed, Siwon didn’t completely keep that promise. True he would die for the boy and whenever they were together he would always shower him with love and care, but in the last few months, Siwon’s schedule had been packed up and he became more and more away from Kyuhyun. He didn’t even participate in most of Super Junior activities due to his continuous side projects.
So Siwon was well aware of the situation Kyuhyun was put in. It wasn’t like he didn’t feel it too, because he did. But what was bothering him, was the fact that Kyuhyun doesn’t express his feelings that much. Whenever the younger would be upset about missing him, he wouldn’t talk to someone about it. He would just hide it within himself which Siwon always scolded him about it. But then again he didn’t have the right to, since he was the one who was putting him in that situation in the first place.
So when he read the note, he got upset yes, and he even picked up his phone and dialled Kyuhyun's number several times to call him and tell him to comeback, but he couldn’t manage to go throught with it. He had to think rationally. He thought if he was in Kyuhyun’s shoes he would be even more upset to be apart from him and the fact that the latter only wanted to take a break and not break up with him made him a bit relieved.
After staring at the note for what it felt like hours, Siwon took a deep breath and picked up his phone. Not to call his boyfriend but to tweet something …
You live with a halo round your head,
This time you're leaving.
This place where the walls are painted red,
Freedom is what you need.
But if the world should ever fall apart around you,
And if you're lost and barely breathing,
I will find you,
And carry you back home.
I won't forsake the only love I ever known,
When you're out there on your own.
And I will wait,
However long it takes,
Until you realize what you’ve been searching for,
Was right here all along.
When you're out there on your own
It was the first song that came up to his mind once he read the note. He felt like it expressed what he felt at that moment. He didn’t care what the fans would do or how they would Interpreted it, all he cared about was for Kyuhyun to read it. Which luckily he did. Because an hour later when Siwon took his shower and was ready for yet another stressful day of schedules, he went to check his Twitter in hopes of finding a reply, and he did.
At first, Siwon didn’t have high hopes because Kyuhyun wasn’t really fond of the whole twitter thing, he only did it to be kept updated about Siwon’s news. He scrolled down the posts, a lot of fans replied as he thought, but he wasn’t in the mood to read them. So he scrolled down until his eyes caught a tweet from GaemGyu.It said "Thank You <3"
Siwon’s deep dimples immediately showed up. Sure he would prefer for Kyuhyun to call him and let him hear that voice he was already craving for. But knowing his lover, that was far good enough for him.
He sighed and prayed to god that Kyuhyun would go back to his senses soon enough, because even if he was cool with the whole break thing at that moment, it didn't mean he was going to let it go for long.
...
Kyuhyun’s POV
Leaving Siwon is the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do. It’s not like we’re going to break up or anything but the fact that we’ll be away from each other is torturing me. Well it’s not the first time because he’s always away for his schedules but then I had the other members around, even though I don’t like talking to them about it but it helped to know that they were there for me. Besides, there was my own schedules to keep me occupied, so that kind of eased the pain of missing him.
But now it will be different. I’m going to be all alone in an empty dorm and not just any dorm, but the place we first confessed and spent a lot of times in. Sure I could’ve gone somewhere else, but I didn’t want my family to know about this and I wanted some space. No one would disturb me.
Once I finished the note, I took one last look at the figure lying in bed. I approached him and I couldn't help but to stare at the way he sleeps, so beautiful and serene. I touched his face and gave him a quick peck on the lips, trying not wake him up. I took one last glance at my perfect boyfriend then I took my things and left. The steps I had to take from Siwon’s side to the room’s door felt like eternity. I didn’t look back because I didn’t want to break down.
...
Manager hyung drove me to the airport, he already knew about my plan of taking a break because the management told him, so I appreciated it when he didn’t ask me any questions.
Once on the plane, waiting to board, I took my phone out to check one last time if there were any messages or missed calls before turning it off. Well I was kind of upset that Siwon hasn’t called me yet. It was 6am and that was Siwon’s wake up time. Well it’s not like I would’ve picked up but I wanted him to call. Aaah this is so frustrating! Cho Kyuhyun it hasn’t passed even an hour and you miss him already? I’m hopeless...
I glanced at my phone and that was when I heard a beep. It was about Siwon’s Twitter, well since I always wanted to be updated on his movements, I made it on notification. I hesitated for a moment before opening it.
He tweeted a song called “On Your Own” along with the lyrics. I put my headphones and listened to it. I didn’t notice the tears that were streaming down my face until the last tune of the song.
A part of me wanted him to come running after me and the other part was glad he understood my feelings. The lyrics were perfectly said. I thought of what to reply because I knew Siwon would be checking every second if I replied so I tweeted “Thank you <3”
The fans are sure going to get the hint, WonKyu fans are smart after all, no one can outshine them. But what the heck, let it be. The world needs to know that Siwon belongs to Kyuhyun and vice versa.
...
As the plane started taking off, Kyuhyun was looking out the window ...
Siwonnie, wait for me … I won’t take long, I promise.
What do you think of this? Siwon being cool and understanding? but that depends on how long the break would take, don't you think?
And did you notice the compliment 'bout WonKyu shippers hehe
Thank you again for all the comments i really really appreciate it ^_^
I had my last exams yesterday yeey so it's summer time for me xD
I'll try to post another chappie by tomorrow ^^
Love you <3
PS: Here's the song if you wanna listen to it. I personally love it x)
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