"Hyung, andwaeyo.¹ You can't do this. She looks exactly like--"

"Don't mention her name in front of me," I cut Cheol Yong off mid-sentence as he looked me on with his ill-looking face peeking through the bedroom door. "You're supposed to be resting. What are you doing eavesdropping on people's conversations? Just go back inside."

This was not how I pictured my night to be.

I visualized bottles of soju and slabs upon slabs of the best Korean beef with three of my best brothers. A carefree night, laughing away. I pictured myself to laugh away my problems, and to get rid of Jenny from my mind once and for all. I had already imagined the soju intoxicating my blood and carrying away such stupid worries. But not this. Definitely not this.

Not seeing Jenny again with my own two eyes. Not seeing Jenny with Lee Joon. Not hearing Jenny say that she did not feel the way I did. Not letting Jenny walk out the apartment to comfort Joon.

Witnessing it was hard enough, I did not want to feel so clear-headed when I feel this anger boil up within me. I wanted to punch the lights out of someone at that moment. I was blinded by fury. Blinded by mind-numbing jealousy as I saw Jenny pull Joon in for a hug outside the apartment.

Down the staircase I went, avoiding the two lovebirds by the elevator lobby. If Joon was the one she wanted, then fine. She was not the only girl in the world.

But she's the only one who has made you feel this way...

I tried to block out the stupid voice in my head. The time on my wrist showed nearly midnight. Heading down to the practice room seemed the most rational idea.

As soon as I reached, I put on the playlist for our upcoming concert tour. Practiced all the dance moves, and started back to square one once I was done. That was how I spent my night, repeating every dance move until I got it down pat. It was the only way I was going to get rid of the disturbing thoughts in my head.

I was done with my third round, and I stood up for another one. I felt no exhaustion physically, but mentally and emotionally, I was still beaten up. I looked out the window to see the sun coming up. The night was getting lighter.

Morning already?

Suddenly my head felt heavy, and all I see ahead of me was stars as the room started to dim. The floor spun from below me and everything out.

1. "Hyung, no." [Hyung is how a male address another male who is older than him.]

Author's note: Just a short chapter for now, I haven't had any time (or inspiration) to write lately. My MBLAQ bias list is a little messed up especially after seeing stills from The BLAQ% Asia Tour in Jakarta. I feel out of sorts; like I want all MBLAQ members to myself. I will write something of substance soon(ish)! Much love!

Comment replies:

Sparkle99: Jenny is proving to be a character that makes foolish decisions, unfortunately. :(
vanaja: My heart hurts thinking of ways to not hurt one of them. LOL.