It was too cold for me to speak. My entire being was trembling, but I wasn't sure if it was from the cold or from being terrified of Seungho's wrath. He was angry, I understood that, but I had trouble coming to terms with the level of outrage he was showing. I was fidgeting at the frayed ends of my sweater sleeves. Like a boxer taking a break after a horrible bout, I had to be mentally slapped back into reality, as a way of pepping myself up. I will not give up. My grandmother taught me better than this.

"How did you know I was Ji Min?" my voice managed to find its way out. "Did you know it all this time?"

"No... I... It's a long story..."

"I have a long story to tell too, but don't you think it's too cold right now?" My body was starting to feel numb, and my lips were turning blue.

"Oh!" Seungho realized my frozen, shivering state and grabbed me inside the apartment lobby where it was considerably warmer. He rubbed my arms in effort to warm me up, but the look of concern he had on was enough for me. It warmed me to no end as the thought of him knowing that I was the Ji Min, his love from his high school days, keep running through my mind. It was a happy, bubbling feeling inside me and I smiled.

Our eyes met, and I caressed the side of his cheek with my still-cold hand. His face heated up at my touch and I looked at him longingly. Time stood still. The ticking of the wall clock in the silent lobby, too, seem to have stopped. The harsh winds outside, as if in sync, stopped whistling as well. My breath was lodged in my throat. My heart felt like it was about to burst. My thumb outlined his lower lip, and Seungho let out a tiny groan, and whispered, "I can't do this anymore," as he took my lips in his.

I was expecting the kiss to be rushed, like in movies where the two characters missed each other so much that they couldn't keep it in anymore; instead it was a slow and tender one. He took my face in his hands, with his thumbs circling my cheeks. His lips tasted as luscious as they looked. His tongue separated my lips as I broke into a sigh. My whole body was now molded into his as our kiss deepened.

My hands were on his back, holding on to him, afraid to let go. I didn't want the kiss to end because it gave me pure, unadulterated joy, but it did. When it ended, I thought I would feel empty and wanting more, but I have never felt more complete, like a missing puzzle piece was finally locked into place, completing the whole picture.

"I miss you..." I could feel his breath on my lips. The kiss may have ended, but our bodies were still in close proximity. "Please don't leave me again." His words made my heart squeeze albeit in a good way. Our foreheads touched as we offered each other sheepish smiles before we broke apart. He took my hand in his and led me to an isolated corner. "Let's talk," he said. He sat down on the floor and patted the space next to him, gesturing for me to take a seat. "I want to hear your story," he prodded.

Taking in a deep breath, I started my story.

It took me an hour, but I got it out of me. From the crazy stalker, to the point where I gave up Seungho so he could pursue his dreams without a hitch. As I finished telling it to him, it felt like a giant golf ball was lodged in my throat and I wanted to cry so badly.

"Sounds like something from a drama series... but I believe you. Being in this industry, anything can happen. I had known about that stalker from high school. She gave me letters too. At first snapshots of me, then letters kept coming saying she loved me, but I had thought that I could get over it. I'd thought that she'd stop. I honestly thought she gave up on me, because the letters stopped coming for some reason, but it never occured to me that she would approach you too. I would've killed her if I had known earlier that she involved you. I never want anything to happen to you." He flashed me a teary smile, and continued, "When I heard from your parents that you ran away from home, I didn't believe them. It was so far from the truth; you weren't that kind of girl. I was in denial, saying you'd be back... that you wouldn't leave me. To say I had a hard time would be an understatement. I had a horrible time. I was offered psychiatric help at one point," he laughed as I looked at him in horror.

"It got that bad?" I asked in genuine wonder.

"That's not bad," he grinned. "What's bad is that I even underwent hypnosis sessions to help me forget you. They were so effective, I got addicted to them and I guess thoughts and memories of you were erased so well that when I saw you again, I couldn't place where I've seen you before. I think that no matter how hard I tried to forget you, my heart was pulled towards you so naturally, I fell for you without me knowing how and why. It made me fluster, I was a mess trying to figure out why I was jealous of you dating Joon. I hated myself for feeling so much for you, and it had hurt so much."

There was something that bugged me, so I asked him, "How did you know it was me?"

"Oh, I had help," was the only thing he said. He smiled the brightest smile and leaned in to give a kiss. This was enough to shut me up for the time being. "You know, Joon was being an annoying prick when you left. Even so, I think he deserves to hear this from you."

"I didn't really leave, I just had to take a break. I needed to recollect everything. It isn't everyday you try to piece together fragments of your memories, right?" I nudged him. "I will tell him in due time."

And I was telling the truth. Joon rode out his fever for three days, and I did not meet him in those days. Neither did I with Seungho, because he had a lot on his schedule. It was as I snuggled in between my bedsheets that my phone rang.

"Joon," it said on my screen. My breath hitched in my throat and slid the green button across the screen.

"Hi. I don't want you to say anything right now. I wrote a rough song for you, and only have a simple melody that comes with it, but I want you to listen. OK?"

I nodded into the phone, as if Lee Joon could see me. He sounded a little better from the night I last saw him. I heard some fumbling as he put down the phone and a distinct ‘aish!' before a beautiful set of notes came alive from a keyboard.

I could hear him taking a deep breath before he sang the saddest words I have heard come from him;

"Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize... don't patronize me

Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't" ¹

He sighed before picking the phone back up. "I sound horrible, I know and I'm sorry, but I mean those words. I love you so much, but you don't. As much as I want you to, you just don't, and that hurts so much. I know that Seungho can take care of you, but I wonder all the time, why can't it be me? Why can't I be the one for you?"

There I was, on the other end of the phone, crying silent tears, my heart wrenched with distraught. I knew I was bring cruel to him, and it hurt me. I deserve all the pain that comes with hurting Joon, so I kept my silence.

"Joon..." I tried to interject, but he wouldn't let me.

"No. I can't. Not anymore. Let me leave like this. I know that one day, I'm going to have to see you because you're going out with one of my best older brothers I have in my life, but not now or in the near future. Just know that if ever Seungho hurts you, I will be the first to throw a punch his way."

He laughed a little, and said, "Goodbye, Jenny. It was beautiful to have loved you," as he hung up the phone.

1. Original song is called I Can't Make You Love Me by Bonnie Raitt, written by Mike Reid and Allen Shamblin. Heard it on The Voice (season 4) during Luke Edgemon's blind audition, which can be viewed here, and a beautiful cover by Adele here. Although I advise you to watch Luke's audition as that inspired me to write the ending to this chapter. :)

Author's note: I'm back! Had this one in the drafts for a very long time. Had trouble thinking about how to end this story, but here it is. Thank you to those who left me messages and comments. I will put up the epilogue soon. Lots of love to those who have been waiting! ♥