Reaching the door, I looked onto the small screen of my smartphone that had the password that Lee Joon sent. I pressed the numbers onto the door lock. My heart was pounding. I was doing this. There was no turning back.

The door lock blinked a red light, and did not budge. I tried again. Failed. Again. Failed again. The red light was mocking me now.

"Aish..!" I hit the door with my fist, seething with anger. My warm forehead rested upon the cold of the door, and my hand was on the keypad. Silent tears were rolling down my face now. To say the week had been hell would be an understatement. "Why won't this thing open?" I yelled at no one in particular.

Suddenly a warm hand covered mine, gently pushed it aside, pressed the keys, and succeeded. I stood frozen to the spot, I was beyond scared. After my revelation, I was scared of the tiniest things. I braved myself to turn around and see who it was.

"Joonie-ya..." I mumbled to the familiar face. His eyes showed a warm tenderness but they did not hide his forced smile. "I-I-I was trying to open the door."

"I can see that. Did you press the wrong numbers?" he opened the door and gestured for me to step inside. A mix of emotions overwhelmed me.

Set aside your emotions and fears for now, Jenny. You have to do this.

"I don't see your bags. I'm assuming you're not moving in today? Or have you turned down my proposal?" Joon asked. We both sat down on his new leather sofa set. "I'm sorry about the plastic on this thing; I haven't had the chance to properly move in yet."

As I sat down, I looked at Joon's ashen face and said, "How was your week? Did everything go well? You look tired."

"I am. I'm beyond exhausted. All I want to do is just hug you until I fall asleep. I really need your warmth right now but I know we need to talk. At least, I need to talk to you about something." He sighed. "Listen, I don't want to beat around the bush. We really need to talk, so I hope you have the right mindset for this because you look like you went through a worse week than mine," he pushed on. His voice was barren of any tenderness his eyes showed earlier. "Last month, when you were at the hospital, I actually heard what Seungho hyung was saying." He sighed again, as if pained by the recollection. "I pretended not to hear because for one, Seungho hyung is someone I love dearly. He has been with me for a long time through my ups and downs more than anyone else, and I want that to continue for years to come; forever, if possible. I didn't want to wreck that relationship. Two, I didn't want to lose you and I selfishly wanted to keep you by my side. I unexpectedly fell in love with you. Seeing you in bed that day with that pained look on your face – I don't know if it was from your injury that caused the pain, or if you had felt something for Seungho hyung too. Either way, I didn't want to find out. That was why I was pretending this whole time. I was in denial."

My tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth. I could not utter a single word. My hands were clamped together, white from the absence of blood circulation. I kept my eyes to the floor.

"Gwaenchana?"¹ he took the time to ask. "I wish someone would sincerely ask me if I was okay. You didn't even call," he huffed. He took my clamped hands and gingerly pried them off and took them in his. My bottom lip was quivering from my efforts to not burst out in tears. Joon saw this and put his arms around me. "Uljima...² If you cry, I don't know what to do. My heart can't take any more pain like this, Jenny-ya. Ahh, I really wanted to do this like a man."

Hearing the tenderness in his voice again did not help the situation. The dam finally burst. I was crying a river and sobbing like nobody's business. "Joon-ah..." I mustered up the courage to talk in between sobs. "Right now, I feel like I'm alone in this. I don't think I have anybody. Not even you. I feel betrayed by my parents. I feel scared of being around you and the rest of MBLAQ."

"What are you talking about?" Joon sounded confused, as he rightly should be. I was confused too at first at the fear of being around the idols.

"The flashbacks... They finally make sense. I didn't accept the reality at first, but then I got scared. How I got here, forgetting my memories that they had to come in bits of images in my head... it scares me. And my parents—" I scoffed. "My parents are the biggest puppeteers I've ever known. Remember when I told you about me being different in the past? It wasn't just my weight issues… I had different features." Joon's mouth was agape. "It's a bit hard to digest, I know. It was harder for me."

Remembering my confrontation with my parents made my chest hurt, as if my ribcage was collapsing on me.

"Can you start from the beginning? I can't grasp this yet. Are you just making this up?"

"No! I—"

"Then start from the beginning. Please," he begged, as he wiped the tears from my face.

I took a deep breath before I started. "I was a student in an arts school. The same one Seungho went to. Can you believe that? I went to an arts school. I have a diploma in Computer Networks, Joon. How could I ever fit in an arts school?" I was laughing deliriously now at the prospect as I had no artistic bone in my body. "Has Seungho ever told you a girl named Ji Min?" I asked, but he shook his head. "There's a girl named Ji Min from the same school that he used to date, but that girl—" I paused, realizing how stupid it sounded as the words formed in my head. "That girl was me, Joon. My name is Ji Min, or was, I don't know or care right now. But my parents changed it to Jenny after an accident happened."

I sighed. It was harder than I thought. I stood up from the sofa and grabbed at my hair. Joon unexpectedly pulled me into a hug and said, "Don't be like this. I'm here for you. I'll listen to whatever you have to say. Don't be distressed. I hate seeing you like this."

"Don't be nice to me, Joon!" I pulled out from his embrace. "I hate that you're nice to me. I'm not the girl you think I am."

"It doesn't matter. I don't care for the girl in the past. It doesn't matter if you don't like that I'm nice to you. It doesn't matter if you care for me less than I care for you. It doesn't matter if you love me less than I love you. Heck, it doesn't matter if you don't love me at all. Nan. Neol. Saranghae.³ That's all there is to it. If I can't be with you, I'll still love you. I just want you to not be scared anymore. I need you to know that I'll at least be there for you when you need someone. When you need someone to protect you, I'll be here. I know I'm usually very busy, but for you, I'll make the time. You are top priority to me," he paused to look at me. I felt drained and it must have showed because he said, "Maybe we should stop here first. You need to rest. Stay over for the night; I'll stay right next to you."

I was sobbing uncontrollably by then. My head was starting to pound and my empty stomach was threatening to regurgitate my stomach acids up my oesophagus. The room was spinning, but my head kept telling me to keep pushing forward and tell Joon everything.

"Can we just stay here for a while?" I managed to squeak.

So we sat down and Joon took me into his arms again, letting my head rest on his strong chest. His steady heartbeat was lulling me into a safe haven. "I love you, Jenny," he planted a kiss on the top of my head.

1. "Are you okay?"
2. "Don't cry..."
3. "I. Love. You."

Author's note: I think I'm nearing to the end of my story. I can't guarantee a happy ending though. Stay tuned.