Snow, like nature intended, was falling noiselessly onto the ground. Just like my Seoul homecoming. No one knew I was making my way back to the city. No one knew where I was gone to in the first place. No one came to look for me either. It mattered little to me. I needed to get away, and find solace. In which, I did, in the form of my grandmother in Gwangju.

She lived a modest life despite having loads of money in the bank and was the most humble and kindest woman you would ever meet. When I first stepped into her house back when I escaped from Seoul, the first thing I felt was regret; regret not visiting her as often as I would have liked. She lit up when she saw my face on her doorstep, but I broke down when I saw the love radiating from her. I wept as she brought me into the living room, letting me cry into her arms for nearly an hour.

When I finally calmed down, I sniffed, and hiccuped my way through my explanations and reasons why I was there, why I felt like I could hate my parents all my life, why I wanted to stop living, all the while rubbing away stray tears rolling down my cheek.

If someone was to ask me one thing that I loved about my grandmother, I would tell them it was in the way she called my name. In my mind, I was still Jenny, but when she called out to me, "Ji Min-ah..." I knew who I really was, who I am, and who I will be.

Who knew that all this time, all I needed to be with was my grandmother? I needed a lot of help from her and she wasn't hesitant to offer any, but defied me whenever I said I wanted to give up. She detested quitters, and she wasn't going to make her granddaughter into one.

This is why and how I manage to stand on my own two feet in Seoul again. My broken soul was fixed by my grandmother's warm food, assuring hugs, and miraculous touches. She made me into Ji Min again, but I did not lose Jenny. There wasn't a lot to Jenny that didn't belong to Ji Min. All I had lost from the old me was memories of Seungho. Somehow my parents wanted me to forget about Seungho completely. I couldn't blame them. I was harmful to myself, especially with the psychotic stalker from school that literally drove me off a cliff.

Snow was falling furiously onto the pavement now. Christmas lights were shining brightly against shophouses, and snowman figures stood proud as I walked on. Halmeoni¹ said I was ready to do this, but as I shiver in the cold, making my way towards MBLAQ's apartment, I doubted myself again.

As I internally fought with my demons, I unknowingly arrived at MBLAQ's apartment. I rang the bell. There was no answer. I pressed the button again. Same result. 'They must still be doing their schedules,' I thought to myself. I turned around and sighed in exasperation. I went back to the elevator lobby and pressed the 'down' key. The elevator made a 'ping' sound, but I heard a distant, "Nuguseyo?²" from an intercom.

I rushed back to their apartment door and rang the bell for the third time. I tried to calm my breathing, knowing that the voice, albeit groggy, that said, "J-J-Jenny?" from the intercom was Lee Joon's. The door opened and showed a very pale Joon in the doorway. His eyes were as wide as saucers as he registered what he was seeing.

"Hi," I smiled at him. He didn't smile back. Instead, he enveloped me in a tight hug. He was warm, way too warm. He was having a fever. "Joonie, you're burning up!" I pulled him into the apartment as if it was my own. I laid him down on the couch and grabbed anything that resembled a cloth and poured cold water on it. I placed the wet cloth on his forehead and he closed his eyes for a moment.

"I'm so glad you're here," he muttered.

"Why are you alone? Where are the others? Why aren't you resting? Where is manager oppa?" my questions seemed never-ending.

"Slow down, you're making me dizzy," he complained.

"Sorry," I said as the back of my hand went to his cheek to get a sense of how warm he was. "Are you OK? How long have you been sick?"

"The others are having a meeting about the show we're currently filming. Our manager's out to get medicine, and will only be back with the others. I was fine, just a slight flu. Somehow it's blown up into a fever. I don't know how it happened. Then I heard the bell ring, and now we're here," he concluded with a smile. "I'm so glad you're here," he said, sitting up and pulling me into another hug.

"You look so pale..."

He let go and lied back down. "Don't worry, I've been feeling worse than I look since you left." I looked down at my hands, which were now on my lap. Tears were threatening to form, but I shook myself mentally and got a hold of myself. I apologized again for the nth time that night. "Don't apologize again, that's making me dizzy too."

"Come on, let's get you to bed," I coaxed him. I tucked him in and told him to sleep. He didn't have any qualms about it, and slept like a baby. Granted, he demanded me to stay beside him at all times, it wasn't a difficult request. I owed him this much.

It was 2AM when the apartment door opened and in walked the rest of MBLAQ and their manager. I peeked through the slightly ajar door and saw their manager walk straight to Joon's room. Before I scared him out of his skin, I proceeded to open the door slowly and greeted him. "Annyeonghaseyo, oppa. I'm back."

"Goodness! You're here... What are you doing here? Wait... 'Oppa'? Ji-Ji Min? You're back?"

"Joonie's sick. Well, I didn't know that when I came here. I came by to visit, and he was pale and all, so I just tucked him into bed so his fever doesn't get worse," I reasoned. He didn't look pleased, but rather resigned. I continued, "To answer your question; Yes, I'm back. My memories are back. How did you know they were gone?"

"Right. Thanks for taking care of Joon thus far. You can go now, and please go quietly. I don't want the others know you're here," he told me in a hushed tone, blatantly avoiding the subject.

I was hurt by his statement, but I knew he didn't want Seungho to know I was there, that I was back to mess up the minds of two of the five boys who were under his care. I bowed to him my farewell, and walked wordlessly out of the bedroom.

As I took my coat from the living room sofa, a grip landed on my upper arm. I gasped in surprise and I failed to see who it was, as the lights were out. "I knew someone else was here," a voice said. "Are you a sasaeng fan³? Have you stolen anything?"

"NO!" was my first defense. I had said it a decibel too high for it to go unnoticed to the other boys. The lights were suddenly on, and I saw Byung Hee was standing by the light switch. My eyes focused to the hand that was gripping me, and went up to see the face of the owner. "Seungho..."

His grip loosened, and his hard eyes softened. What was hard amber in his eyes were now soft, flowing gold. All the feelings I had for Seungho that I had left behind came rushing back. Finally his hand was off my arm, but his palm met mine and he dragged me outside.

We went down the apartment and walked furiously out to the apartment's compound. He sat me down on a bench, and looked at me in amazement.

"Seungho, I--"

"Shut up. I don't want to hear it."

"But--"

"NO."

He was angry, but I knew he was battling it within himself for composure. He had put his hands into his pockets and took them out again.

"How dare you come back?" he started his bombardment with steel resolve. "Do you know what you did to Joon? Do you know what happened to him? That punk overworked himself, accepting to do show, after show, after show. Do you know how many times he has had to go to the hospital to recuperate?" He paused momentarily before he asked, as his voice broke, "Do you know what you do to me? Do you have any idea what I had to endure; what I had to put up with? Why the hell did you run away the second time, Ji Min!?"

I was beyond shocked that he already knew who I was, and his demands for my answers were adamant that I was nervous to be around him, but I was building myself up for this moment to tell him everything, and he will have to listen to everything I had to say.

1. Halmeoni = grandmother
2. "Who is it?"
3. Sasaeng fan = extreme fan who stalk their idols and invade their privacy with questionable methods (Wiki)

Author's note: I'm back! Well, I've been gone longer than this, but I hope everyone's still reading this story. I can't keep apologizing to my readers for neglect. ㅠ_ㅠ Anyway. I just came back from a vacation, and I'm feeling a little inspired, so maybe I'll put up a nicely written chapter soon after. Thanks to my new followers/subscribers on Tumblr and AFF! I hope my stories won't disappoint! ♥