"Oppa, why are you like this?" I asked him

"What did I do? I was just trying to protect you.." he placed his shoulder around me

"Oppa, this is not right. We're hurting Yoona, you know she likes you, but why do you keep doing this? I tried my best to avoid you.."

"But in the end I'll always find a way to see you, right?" he smiled

"But you're being way too possessive! Oppa, it's too difficult for us to be together.." I explained

"I gave up and you and moved to Paris, trying to get over you. But in the end, as you can see, I'm back not because I'm done with my studies there, but because I'm holding on to my dream. Just let me, you-ah. I'm making myself sure that you'll end up falling for me" he said, "Let's talk after we eat..." he parked his car in front of a cafe and invited me in..

"You can order, I'll pay for it" he handed me the menu and kept staring at me blankly

"Oppa, I'm not hungry, I'm not going to eat. You can eat, and I'll accompany you.. Don't worry" I smiled

"Araso.." , he ordered his meal, and stared at me again.

"you-ah,  can I ask you something? But please answer this honesly, Oppa beg you. Okay?" he held my hand, then I nodded

"Why did you audition for SM Entertainment? It's just not you.. I'll support whatever decision you make, but I just need to know why you did it"

I was speechless, I didn't make sense if I tell him that it was because I wanted attention from people, grabbing attention away from Yoona, so people would behin to feel that I deserve it more. I just lowered my head and didn't answer

"you-ah, answer me..." he said again

I sighed, "There's no reason for it. I'm just bored of my life..", I lied

"Jinjayo? I won't be shocked if you trained to be an actress, 'cause I know it has always been your ambition since young. But why an idol? I never knew you loved dancing, and performing in front of people.. It's just not you. It really doesn't make sense if there's no reason behind it.." he drank a glass of soju in a shot

"YA! Are you trying to kill yourself again? You can't tolerate alcohol, idiot! Okay, fine. The reason I auditioned is because I wanted to gain attention, no one cared about me, and I know they would, if I become famous to the world. But to be honest, I auditioned as an actress, but LSM just told us that he won't debut any actress just yet. Is that enough?"

He didn't say anything but drank another glass of soju, "you-ah! This isn't important, but it made me think a lot about you. But do you like it there?"

Before he poured another glass of soju, I grabbed it away from him and finished it in one go, although I'm underage to drink alcohol. "Oppa, please don't hurt yourself because of me!" I said

"You wouldn't see me if I don't get hurt. This is the only way to make you see me. Am I.." he coughed, "Am I invisible to you?"

"Let me tell you again, it's too difficult for me to betray Yoona just for my own sake. I know there are times that I ran to you and I told you I hate her to death, but I'm sure you know that deep here.. in my heart, she's the only one I can rely on" I said

I paused for a moment, "Oppa.. Oppa? Oppa! you face is red already, aish! Seriously!", I stood up and tried to take a bottle of water but he grabbed my hands and back-hugged me really tightly, "I love you, you. Please let me hold you tightly like this forever, I really really like you" he buried his face deep on my shoulder.

I didn't move and I let him stay like that for a moment, "Oppa, why are you crying?" I started to wiggle a bit

"I love you, you. Please stay with me, and don't go. It hurts me too much..." he said slowly, and he hugged me more tightly

I sighed, "You'll find someone better than me..", I let go of him and faced him

"I don't even dare to find someone else, because I know I'll end up standing in front of your front door, again, begging for you to come back to me" he said, "is it because of Yoona that you hate being together with me?"

I nodded..

"So you have feelings for me, don't you?" he asked, "Just be honest, I couldn't change your decision, I know that.. I just wanted to know" he continued

I drank a bit of water to quench my thirst, "Ne.. I loved you even before you knew who I was, and I'll love you even after you forget who I am" I said to him hesitantly

After hearing that, Jaejoong smiled and another teardrop ran down his cheek.. My mind went blank for a moment, I couldn't believe I end up telling him who I felt about him for the last 3 years.

Jaejoong caressed my cheek and pulled me closer to him, he hugged me again and whispered, "I won't let you go, even if you tell me to do so..", he moved slightly to face me and kissed me gently on the lips

Yoona unnie, I'm really sorry to disappoint you, but I'll try my hardest not to disappoint you again..