Five AM. I woke up at five AM for the second day in a row. I don't do five AM, but I have to now that during the weekends I have to go to Got7 schedules. My mom spewed some about bonding with Jackson and the manager agreed. I don't want to bond with Jackson; he has smelly morning breath.

I went into the bathroom last because I don't have to actually smell good for Got7's schedules, but they do. Once I had locked the door and hung my towel on the rack I started my search for soap. I stood on my tiptoes and opened the cabinet hanging from the ceiling, and it started raining condoms.

...

Yeah. Not fun. Especially when its early enough in the morning that you think its a sign from god as opposed to a big box of condoms tipping over. Once I figured out that it wasn't a sign from god, I asked Jackson. I figured he's a ert so this is probably his fault. I asked in English though. 'Cause of the children.

*"Hey Jackson."*

*"What?"*

*"I though idols were celibate."*

*"So?"*

*"So why is there a huge box of condoms in the bathroom?"*

*"Why are you asking me? This is a dorm full of guys."*

*"You're the fairy; there is a trail of unused, unopened condoms wherever you go.Plus your a ert."*

By this point everyone else was staring at us wondering what I could be saying that made Jackson blush so badly. Mark was rolling on the floor laughing. I didn't appreciate that. Jackson got so mad that he switched to Korean.

"YAH, I am NOT a ert!"

Every one was quiet. I'm pretty sure we were all wondering how to tell him that yes, he was a ert without getting hit. Turns out we didn't have to, 'cause BamBam did.

"Hyung you are a ert. You always say creepy stuff when anyone comes out of the shower. And you pull down our pants a lot."

I looked sideways at Jackson, "I did not know you swung that way bro."

He turned and glared at me, "Why were you looking in the cabinet anyway?"

"I needed soap. People keep soaps in their cabinets do they not?"

"The soap is under the sink!"

"You still didn't answer my question."

"Go shower dammit!"

So I went and showered. After I had finished getting dressed I joined breakfast in the living room. I didn't even get to finish before we were all stuffed in the van. Jackson gave me some bread though, so I though we were cool. Until he pulled a packet out of my collar.

"YAH why do you have this?"

"I don't know; it was your fault they were in the bathroom in the first place!"

"Its a whole dormfull of guys, why do you assume its me?"

"Because your the fairy !"

This time everyone understood what I said. Jinyoung oppa turned around so fast it gave me whiplash and started yelling.

"JACKSON, why do you have condoms? And why are they in the bathroom? What if Yugeom or BamBam saw them, huh?"

"I'm telling you I didn't buy them!"

"Really? Then why does your own sister call you the fairy?"

"Because she's evil!"

"WOULD YOU ALL SHUT UP?", the manager yelled. He is clearly not a morning person.

Jaebum oppa leaned over Yugeom and whispered in Jinyoung oppa's ear. 

"WHAT?", Jinyoung oppa screeched, "BAMBAM HOW DARE YOU TURN INTO A ERT?"

We all turned and looked at BamBam, who was doing a very good impression of a trapped deer. He sort of was though, with him being smushed against the door by Youngjae. Jackson, on the other hand, was thrilled.

"HA! I told you it wasn't my fault! Wait, are you really a ert? 'Cause if you are I can't have you around my sister."

"JUST SHUT UP!", the manager screamed, "I TOLD BAMBAM TO PUT THE CONDOMS IN THE BATHROOM. I AM NOW REGRETTING BEING SO OPTIMISTIC ABOUT YOU ALL'S CHANCES OF GETTING LAID."

I almost laughed, but the seven pairs of glaring eye told me not to. It was a long, awkward ride to the schedules.