Mir’s P.O.V

     “Komawo Seung Ho hyung, I know I let you down again, I hope you can forgive me.” I was looking straight ahead when someone squeezed my hand and kissed it.

“You’re a very troublesome maknae, but I forgive you.” I gave him the faintest hint of a smile. I wasn’t in the mood for smiling but for him I’ll try my best.

        I reclined on the pillows and sighed. My throat felt dry and my body felt weak. I looked to my side to check the time. 5:50am

“Hyung you should go back to sleep. You must be tired and it’s still early.”

“It’s fine. I’m tired of sleeping. Want to watch some TV?”

“Sure.” He the TV and what came up made me want to cry.

MBLAQ’s maknae has been hospitalized. There are rumors he OD’d but this has not been proved. An official statement from JTune Camp is yet to be made.

“Sorry I’ll change the channel.”

Bang CheolYong, or better known by his stage name Mir, has been hospitalized. There are no offi-

“Sorry.”

A+ are worried for MBLAQ’s maknae Mir. It has come to us as a great shock. The usual bubbly and eccentric maknae is said to be hospitalized at the moment. We do not have further details, a JTune Camp representative has confirmed an interview for tomorrow regarding the group me-

Some people claim to have seen MBLAQ’s maknae partying and taking some illegal substances, which is why he might be in the hospital. There are no official reports right now b-

      Seung Ho turned off the TV and turned to me. I held back my tears and bit my lip. Is that what they think of me? I placed my hands over my face and silently cried into them. I felt Seung Ho’s arms wrap themselves around me. I buried my face in his chest and sobbed quietly. I didn’t want to wake up the other members. Someone coughed but only Seung Ho looked up.

“Oh hyung! Good morning. Did your filming just end?”

“Yeah, just about twenty minutes ago. Is Mir okay? Mireu how are you feeling?” he came closer to the bed and patted my head.

“He saw the news…”

“Don’t mind the news, Mir those are just talentless people trying to ruin everybody.”

“Yes hyung.”

“Look at me.”

“Aniyo.”

“Are you defying me?”

“No makeup!”

“What? Did I hear right?”

“No makeup~!!!!!!”

“You don’t want to look at me because you’re not wearing makeup!?”

“Neh~”

“This kid! He’s unbelievable, even when he’s in a life threatening position he worries about his appearance!” he got up dramatically and kicked something.

“I’m pretty sure it’s okay to show me your makeup-less face. You didn’t come out of your mothers’ womb with BB cream and pretty eyeliner.”

“Hyung!”

“I’m stating the obvious.” Sometimes I wonder who’s the dongsaeng and who’s the hyung around Rain hyung. He looks so cool and manly on stage and TV but around us he’s childish, naggy, weird, and just plain out embarrassing. Two sleepy voices interrupted our bantering.

“Rain hyung you came.”

“Yeah, I finally finished my filming and came as soon as possible.”

“Why is Mir hiding his face?”

“Because he has no makeup on.”

“I thought so, can you guys leave for a couple of minutes.” What’s Thunder up to?

“What? Why?”

“Just a few minutes. Okay?” he pushed them all out of the room then jumped on the bed.

“Morning Mireu~ how are you feeling?”

“I feel like ! I probably look like it to…”

“I knew you’d say that so I went home and brought these!” he held up a duffle bag and began taking out its contents.

“DOONGIE I LOVE YOU!” I held up the handheld mirror and inspected my face. Ugh dark circles!

“Let me work my magic~ this face doesn’t look like this without some hard work. Although I’m naturally beautiful.” He chuckled and began applying foundation on my face and covered up my dark circles. He put some eye drops in for my red eyes and began applying some light eyeliner. I felt better already. He brushed the comb through my hair until it was detangled and put some gel in it to style it. Finally he handed me my favorite shirt and pants.

“I’ll help you put them on, don’t worry I’ve seen you plenty of times.” I raised my arms up and let him slide my shirt over and then my pants. I buckled my belt and sprayed on some cologne.  I really do feel better now.

“ALRIGHT YOU GUYS CAN COME IN NOW~!” He shouted and the three hyungs burst through the room. I was smiling and waving as they came in.

“Morning~”

“That’s the spirit maknae!’

“Wow looks like the maknae line really know each other.”

“Yeah.” A nurse came in with a clipboard and looked surprised.

“OMO! Bi Rain and MBLAQ oppas! I mean uh annyonghaseyo. I’m your nurse until you leave. Oh my god I can’t believe I’m his nurse~” I smiled at her and she nearly fainted. She checked my stats and what other nonsense nurses do. Then left.

“she’s very…nice.”

“I’ll be back comrades, I’ll go try to get her to let me sneak in some McDonalds.”

“Fur hyung are you sure McDonalds is all you’re trying to sneak?”

“Yah! CheolYong what are you trying to say about your hyung?”

“Nothing…”

“Aish never mind I’ll just go eat cafeteria food.” He left with Rain and Thunder. Only Seung Ho stayed with me and he was sitting on the chair next to me.

“We’ll try to get you out of here as fast possible okay? I promise.”

“Okay. I trust you hyung.” The nurse came back in with a tray of food and set it over my bed.

“Breakfast~ it’s something simple to get you started eating right. They did some tests on you and you’re not allergic to anything, let me know if you dislike certain foods, I’ll try to keep them away.”

“Thank you noona.”

“Neh.” She left the room and I turned to Seung Ho.

“Open up~”

“What?”

“I said open up.” He opened his mouth and I placed the toast in his mouth. He swallowed and smiled at me; I smiled back and took a bite of the toast as well. We finished eating and I sat back on the pillows. I blew my bangs, then played with the sheets, with the hem of his shirt. I messed with his hair, we played tic-tac-toe, connect the dots, and cards but I was still bored. He did some magic tricks but it didn’t work.

“Hyung~ I’m bored~”

“I don’t know how to entertain you anymore, the only thing to keep you quiet was food.”

“Hyung~” he got on the floor and did the worm and other various things I don’t think anyone would want to see. I was laughing until someone opened the door and in walked my worst enemy.

“Hi Mir hyung. I hope you’re feeling better.”

“Thanks Taemin.” He set some flowers down on the table and came to stand by me.

“Am I bothering you?”

“Ani. How could you say that? That’s crazy talk…” I looked at Seung Ho nervously with a look that said get-him-out-of-here-before-i-murder-him!

“Ah Taemin Onew told me you were going to appear on Star King today. When are you going to the recording?”

“I’m leaving now, I just wanted to say hi to my hyung and see how he was doing.”

“Well I’m good, I don’t want you to be late because of me. Bye.” He turned around and left I turned to Seung Ho and thanked him then resumed what we were doing before. The doctor came in and told him to go wait outside.

“Mr. Bang, I trust you’re doing fine. Oh what happened to your hospital gown?”

“I didn’t feel good wearing it. Plus it showed my , all the nurses kept staring at it.” he laughed and clucked his tongue. He checked me all over and left. As soon as he did Seung Ho came back. An hour went by and we were having fun. G.O had just come back while Thunder was at a schedule and Rain had left a while ago.

“Mireu I have to go to a schedule but G.O’s here so he’ll stay with you okay?”

“No. I want you stay with me.”

“I’d stay but this photo shoot is important I already tried cancelling it but there was no way.”

“Okay. Try to finish early okay?”

“I’ll try.” I reached out my hands for a hug and got one.

“Bye, be good to G.O. Don’t cause him too much trouble. If you do call me too help.” With that he left.

“Hyung I’m bored~”

“Let’s read some magazines.”

“Aniyo.”

“Wae? They’re fun!”

“To you.”

“Okay what do you and Seung Ho usually do?”

“Mmmh” I tapped my chin thinking of things we’d usually do.

“He usually dances for me, or sings, he’ll read me my comics, or he’ll let me do his hair and put make-up on him.” G.O’s eyes widened and he was laughing so hard he had to hold on to the bed.

“I can’t believe this…”he took a deep breath and tried to steady himself but burst out laughing again.

“Aish! Forget it! just get me some pudding or something please.”

“Coming right up your majesty.” I puffed my cheeks waiting for G.O to come back with my pudding. The door opened.

“G.O hyung you’re back! That was fast!” I shouted with a big smile.

“It’s not G.O, it’s just me.” my smile disappeared and I turned my head to the window.

Joon’s P.O.V

      After hearing what was going on with Mir I couldn’t stay around. I left and went to the same bar I’ve been going to. As soon as I walked in the same waitress that’s been serving came to my table.

“He needs someone to be there for him. This is your chance to win him back, show him your love, and show him how much you care. If you don’t someone close to you will snatch him away.”

“How did you know my problem was about Mir again?”

“Like I said before, I know things that you don’t.” she poured me a cup of beer for me and her. “Cheers to you doing what’s right!” she took a drink and made a face. I drank m y beer as well and looked at her in amazement.

“Hey what’s your name?”

“Mmmh call me Jinny.” I stared at her and nodded.

“So Jinny how do you know about me?”

“I just know things.”

“That doesn’t explain anything.”

“You didn’t tell me to explain you asked me how I knew about you and I told you I just know things, which answered your question.”

“You’re giving me a headache.”

“You know you really shouldn’t drink. It’s bad for your body and Mir hates it. He gets scared something will happen to you.”

“H-he does?” she nodded. I pushed away my drink and ate a chip from the bowl in front of me. I was deep in thought that I didn’t notice when Jinny left.

“Where’d that girl go?” I looked all over the bar but didn’t see her. I called over a waiter.

“Hey did your waitress Jinny end her shift already?” he looked at me confused.

“Who?”

“Your waitress, Jinny. She has brown wavy hair past her shoulders, ‘bout ye high” I put my hand up to how tall she was. “her eyes are dark, has dimples, and speaks in a slow, yet fast drawl.”

“I think you’ve had too much to drink sir.” He was looking at me like I had just grown another head and was dressed in drag.

“No I’m not drunk; I didn’t even finish my first beer. She works here. She attended me when I came in. she was right here a couple of minutes ago”

“Sir you’re obviously drunk we have no such waitress here.”

“I told you I didn’t drink because Mir hates it.”

“Who’s Mir? Aniyo, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“UGH! Fine!” I slammed a bill on the table and left the place. I ruffled my hair as I walked down the street.

“LEE JOON OPPA!”

“AHH IT’S JOONIE OPPA!’

“OPPA!!”

“OPPA!! LOOK AT ME!!”

“OPPA CAN I GET YOUR SIGNATURE?”

“AHH OPPA’S SO CUTE AND HANDSOME!”

“HE’S SO TALL AND MUSCULAR!”

“OPPA’S SO DREAMY!” I smiled and waved. I took pictures with them and signed their pieces of paper or other things they gave me.

“Oppa can I get your signature too?” that voice! It’s got to be her! I looked up from the paper and saw her.

“YOU!” I was pointing my finger at her. Everyone was looking at me and my outburst. “you are the last person I’m going sign for! Oppa has somewhere to go to.” I smiled bent down to her level and whispered in her ear. “You better stay by my side when I walk away.”

“I can’t do that oppa. It’ll be unfair to the other fans.” She gave me a coy smile and took her paper. I looked at her in amazement as she disappeared in the crowd. I stood there dumbly then started walking towards a café. When I walked in she was already there.

“I was waiting for you oppa, what took you so long?” I was skeptical although I shouldn’t really be anymore. I took a seat in front of her and ordered us a coffee.

“How do you know where I’m going to be? How do you know things about me? Who are You?”

“Simple. I read your emotions. I just know things. Silly! I already told you, I’m Jinny.” She laughed and I rubbed my temples.

“That’s not what I meant, I mea- ahh never mind!”

“Seung ho just left for a schedule and Mir’s alone in the hospital.”

“So?”

“You should visit him and apologize.”

“I tried yesterday and he didn’t listen to me.”

“You shouldn’t give up so early. If the feelings I’m getting from you aren’t lying to me, it seems like you want him to forgive you and you don’t want to give up yet.”

“I-”

“I can’t help you to get him to forgive you, but I can give you advice from time to time.”

“”Just exactly who are you?

“I’m Jinny you silly boy.”

“I’ll go pay.” I got up to pay and when I came back she was gone again. I went up to the register again and asked the guy working there if he had seen her leave. He looked at me the same the waiter had looked at me and shook his head.

     I got in a taxi and arrived at the hospital. I made my way to Mir’s room. When I came in he thought I was Byunghee. When he realized it was me he turned his face away from me and looked out the window.

“Hi Mir.”

“Get out.”

“I’ll leave once you listen to what I have to say.” I stood my ground and waited for his answer.

“Get out! You make me sick.” His words stabbed me. They were cold, it didn’t sound like him. He’s sweet and nice. He’s innocent, cute, cuddly, and always happy and energetic. Not lifeless, cold, and distant.

“Why are you still standing there? I told you to leave.”

“I told you I’d leave once you heard me out. Give me five minutes, just five minutes is all I need.”

“No.”

“Okay three minutes and I’ll leave.”

“You don’t know what get out means?”

“Fine just one minute and I’ll leave!” he didn’t say anything so I proceeded to say what I had to say.

“I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for playing with your feelings and taking advantage of them. I’m sorry mistreating you and using you. I really want to start over and start something serious between us. I’m not sure what this is but I think l-”

“One minute’s up. Get out. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out. If you see G.O tell him he can go back to the dorm I want to be alone.” I was desperate. I wanted to hear him say those three words he had told me before. I wanted to hear him tell me he loved me and cared for me. I got down on my knees and begged. I had never done this. Not even to my own mother or father but I needed to hear him say it. I was looking at his back.

“Please Mir. Let’s start over. I’ll be good, I won’t treat you bad. Let’s just start over. Please.” he turned away from the window and looked in my eyes. Those big brown eyes that were usually bright and happy were now cold, distant, and full of disdain.

“Do you think sorry will solve everything? Do you think asking for forgiveness will fix my broken heart? My shattered ego? Do you think sorry will fix my pride? Do you think sorry will take back all those tears I cried every night for you? Will sorry give me back the days I spent holed up in the room thinking of you and if you were okay? Do you think it can fix me? Can you fix me?”

“Mir-”

“I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU WITH WHATEVER I HAVE LEFT! I HATE YOU WITH A PASSION! I HATE YOUR STUPID SMILE! I HATE YOUR STUPID HAIR! YOUR STUPID FACE! I HATE YOUR STUPID VOICE THAT GIVES ME BUTTERFLIES! I HATE YOUR STUPID LIPS AND THE WAY YOUR STUPID CLOTHES FITS YOU! I HATE THE WAY YOU’RE ALWAYS ON MY MIND! I HATE YOU! I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU! I HATE THAT I LOVE YOU!!!! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!”

“Mir I’-”

“GET OUT!” He growled at me. I saw his lip quivering and tears threatening to fall. I didn’t move and watched him cry.

“I hate you for making my heart hurt!” a nurse came in handed him some tissues. She turned and I saw it was Jinny.

“Noona can you tell him to leave? I want to be alone.”

“Neh.” She took my hand and dragged me out.

“What are you doing here? Since when do you work here?”

“Making him cry isn’t the way to earn his forgiveness. Tsk tsk tsk.” She walked down the hall and disappeared around the corner. I slid down the wall and rested my head on my knees.  Someone kicked me and I looked up.

“Joon what are you doing here?”

“Ah G.O hyung. Nothing I just came so Rain wouldn’t say anything and scold me.”

“Want to come in with me? I have enough pudding for us and Mir.”

“It’s fine, I’m going to the dorm and sleep. Mir said to tell you he wants to be alone.”

“Oh okay. I’ll see you later then, I have a date.” He wiggled his eyebrows and skipped down the hall. I left as well and arrived at the dorm.

     I punched in the code and dragged myself to our room. I looked around and took everything in. All his clothes were hanged neatly in his closet. It used to be with mine. His shoes were lined up against the wall and all his other things were stored away. His bed was unmade just like he had left it that day I’d been with him. I laid on his bed and took in his smell.

“It smells sweet like him.” I clutched the sheets and buried my head under his pillow. I felt hot tears roll down my face. I took the teddy bear that he’d sleep with every night, and held it close to me. I gave this to him and he treasured like it was diamond. I’ll pretend it’s him.

“I love you Mir.” I whispered in a broken voice and shook with every tear that fell. I held the bear closer and talked to it. I told it every secret and told him stories of Mir.

“I miss him.”

“I miss how he’d run to me and hug me tight when he heard me come home.”

“I miss kissing his soft lips.”

“I miss him telling me he loves me.”

“I miss his bright, excited eyes.”

“I miss his cute blush when we’d cuddle after .”

“I just miss him teddy, I miss him so much and my heart can’t take the pain.” I fell asleep crying and clutching the only thing that’d connect me with Mir.

Seung Ho’s P.O.V

      I felt uneasy leaving Mir alone with Byunghee but I had to do it. I’ll try to finish my shoot as soon as possible and come back to him. I got to the studio and greeted the staff. After getting all the introductions done I went to get my hair and makeup finished. I got in the first outfit and came out to the set up. The photographer started snapping pictures. I tried to get every pose done right the first time so we could finish faster.

“Alright! Good, good!

“Give me more of that!

“Ohh I like it!”

“Own that shirt! Exactly!” we finished and I got into another one.

“y, y! More appeal!”

You’re a star baby! A star who’s seducing all those women! RWAR!” what the hell is he doing? “Work those pants!”

“Yes, yes! Bite those y lips!” Ahhh! The things I do!

“Okay everybody we’ve gotten a lot done in half the time I expected. Break!” everyone dispersed and I sat on the couch sipping my water. I picked at my sandwich not eating it. The photographer came and sat next to me. he was eating a bag of chips and drinking a soda.

“Don’t worry about gaining a few pounds we have the clothes in a bigger size. I heard you like to eat, so what are you doing with that sandwich? The buffet’s over there son!”

“Ah neh. Thank you. I’m not really hungry though…”

“Whatever floats your boat, have you ever thought of being a model? You’re a bit short but lifts can bring you right up. Your eyes have a smoldering seduction and women love that! What do you say Mr. Yang?” Did this guy smoke something before coming to the shoot?!

“I’ll have to decline your offer. It’s great but I’m an idol, not a model.”

“We’ll pay you double what you’re earning at your agency.”

“It’s a lovely offer and very generous but I can’t leave my group.”

“Think about it.” he got up and left to bother one of the stylists. I pulled out my phone and texted Mir. Damn! I forgot his phone’s dead and he’s not allowed to have it. I put my phone away and reclined back on the couch closing my eyes. His smiling face came into my mind and I smiled.

Flashback:

“Hyung! Let’s watch a movie!”

“Neh! Which one do you want to watch?”

“Whatever Seung Ho hyung wants to see!”

“Alright. Get the popcorn and come sit down.” I watched him run to the kitchen and drop the bowl and the glass shatter. I ran to him and saw Joon pinning him to the fridge. Mir was pushing him away with tears in his eyes. I ran to him and pulled him away and into my room. I pulled him close to me and held him tight while he cried.

“Hyung what am I supposed to do? He’s just playing with my heart!” I comforted and we watched a movie. The next morning he was sleeping next to me with his arm around my waist. He looked so adorable and I wanted to kiss him and never let him go. I was confused about my feelings for him.

End of flash

       That was the first time I saw Mir cry for Joon and it made me bitter and my heartache. As the days went back my feelings for Mir grew and grew. When I saw him cry I wanted to kill whoever made him upset. I wanted to wrap him in a bubble that would protect from any harm. I wanted him to be mine and only mine and not cry over Joon anymore. I wanted him to smile for me and live for me only. I knew it was selfish to think of him this way when I knew how he felt about Joon but I couldn’t help but fantasize it was me he wanted.

      I sighed and opened my eyes. There was no one in sight. I rubbed my eyes and got up. I walked to the dressing room and found the photographer with one of the stylists going at it. I quickly closed and heard him yell out to me.

“Shoots canceled for today. You can go home. You’ll get your full pay, don’t tell anyone about what you saw arasso Mr. Yang?” I speed walked my way to the van and told my manager to take me to the hospital as fast as he could. I haven’t seen Mir in four hours!

“What’s wrong Ssong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“’It’s nothing Byungki hyung. I’m just tired.”

“Oh… in that case do you want to go to the dorm instead and sleep?”

“No it’s fine. I need to check up on Mir and see how he’s doing.”

“Alright.” He took his time driving but I didn’t say anything. I knew he was tired from driving us everywhere and doing this and that and having to deal with other things we didn’t know about. We got to the hospital and I ran out of the car and into Mir’s room. He was asleep when I came in.

     I pulled up a chair and sat next to him. I was holding his hand and daydreaming. I felt him move but he didn’t wake up. I stood up and bowed at the doctor when he came in.

“You’re here! I’m glad. CheolYong seemed a bit depressed after you left. He was crying and shouting at the nurses to leave him alone. I’m not sure what that was all about. He was thrashing around and pulled out the needles. We shot him with tranquilizers again to calm him down. He’s been asleep for almost three hours now. Should be waking up anytime, they weren’t strong like the last ones.”

“I see, did anyone else come in? Did you see Byunghee in here?”

“Byunghee-ssi left a while after you did, I did see a good looking young man come in. I assumed it was Joon-ssi coming to visit his dongsaeng like he did yesterday.”

“Ah thank you. Can stay here and watch over him?”

“I don’t see why not, call a nurse if something happens.”

“Neh.” He walked out and I was deep in thought. I took hold of his hand again and stayed like that for a bit. I got hungry so I got up and let go of his hand. I hadn’t taken the first step away when he took my hand.

“Please don’t leave me Seung Ho hyung. Without you I have nobody to care for me.”

“Arasso, if that’s what you want.” He scooted over in the bed to make room for me. I rejected at first but seeing his sad eyes I got on and he sat in between my legs leaning back on me. I put my arms around him and ruffled his hair. He sighed and played with my fingers.

“Your hands are warm. I like it, I like it a lot.” My heart started beating faster.

“You also smell good, I like it as well.”

“Your hair is shiny and pretty and soft like your hands and your face. Your voice is really sweet. I’m glad you’re my hyung. You’re my friend right Seung Ho hyung?”

“Of course I am Mireu.”

“Do you want to know a secret?” I nodded and he continued. His voice was tired but he kept talking anyways.

“When I first entered the company I thought you looked really cool. I wanted to be your friend but I couldn’t do that. I felt my heart beat fast whenever I saw you, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I thought I was weird so I told Joon. He told me it was nothing and shouldn’t worry about it. So as time went by, I started losing hope in ever having you. That’s when everything with Joon began. I thought it was alright. I really liked Joon and even loved him I guess. It didn’t feel right though. He did make my heart beat fast but not as fast you did. To be honest I still keep a spot for you in my heart. That’s why I always try to be with you hyung. I’m crazy right?” he sighed again and I didn’t know what to say. I opened my mouth to speak then closed it then opened it again.

“CheolYong do you know how much I like you?” no answer.

“I like you a lot. More than a hyung should. You also make my heart beat fast.” I sighed again waiting for his response but all I heard his light snoring.

“You crazy kid, always falling asleep during the most important times your hyung speaks.” I got off the bed and placed him on it correctly. I pulled up his sheets and watched him sleep. I held his hand again and fell asleep a few minutes later.

A/N: Hey lovleies~! I bring you another update! ^~^ Please enjoy! I'll try to update soon.

Can you guys guess who the girl is? Kekeke~

mbleastmaniac: Hehe~ I hope this chapter gives you some insight on your comment eh? :)

FreakyVamp: :'D awwdon't worry things will get better for Mireu! Lol xD she is a good adviser xD It was Rain who called Joon :P Here you, an update! I'll try to update soon. Stay tuned. ^~^

Chococinna: No, No, No! Bad JooMi thoughts! Go away, shoo! Lol xD Hahaha I'm like that on most days xD I don't fall asleep until late at night ._. Hohoho~ don't worry good things are to ~ get it? ಠ_ಠ No? Okay l:

leehongkifan1234: Thank you~ ^~^ Here's an update, sorry for the wait! :)

Reinai: Aww I'm sorry /hugs I know how you feel as well because I'm bipolar >___< it messes with me but I get over it. I go to meetings sometimes when it gets to bad...I HATE doctors! With a passion!! I don't want someone telling me I'm crazy or something ಠ_ಠ Seriously...Hohoho~ and more things are revealed!!!!! ^~^ Stay tuned~ I'll update soon. -hugs-

Okay guys that was it and I'll go to bed now because I have exams tomorrow and yet I'm updating...and watching dramas...and wasting time on the internet >________< Okay enjoy the chapter and leave me comment/spazzing/subs~! They make me feel fluffy. :)

I'd like to thank my 17 subbies! I love you guys, and thank you for supporting my fic! ^~^