Chapter Six: Confusion

“Woohyun-ah d-do you have any feelings for me?” I asked Woohyun as we were eating inside Mcdonalds

“Sorry but I already like someone else.” I said after I saw him spurted the soda he was drinking. I know by now he’s thinking that I’m acting so high and mighty just because of what he did for me today. So before he could have the chance to scrutinize me I already defended myself.

                “I, I know you’re kind and that you’re really handsome and that you really do smell good. B-but my heart is only for Kim Sunggyu.” A heavy weight seemed to be put in my heart as I uttered those words. “So-“    

“Ya duckling! You really thought that I would like someone like you? *smirk* I have taste you know? The girl I like really do have a face of a goddess, there’s no way I’d like you.” I knew it there’s no way on earth you’d ever fall for such an ugly girl like me. Stupid me for thinking there’s something more behind your actions.

                “I-I already know that, I was just confused by your gestures.” I excused myself, embarrassed for assuming you have some feelings for me, ashamed for hoping there was something more.

                “I did all of those because it’s convenient for me.” I felt cold and numb upon hearing your answer. So that’s it? You just did those things just because it’s convenient? And here I am thinking you did those to at least protect me from those bullies, here I am hoping you did those because you care.

                “Wae?”

                “I said that you were my girl so that no one would confess to me anymore. I’ve had enough of turning down every single girl who likes me. Then you slapped me, which makes me the bad guy. I don’t want to ruin my image ya’know? That’s why I asked our classmates to do what they did and that’s why I serenaded you in front of them. I want them to know err think that I’m serious with you.” I tried real hard to hide the sadness I am feeling from showing on my face.

                “Tomorrow, I’ll confess everything. I’ll tell them that it’s just all lies.”

                “I’ll help you.” What does he mean by that?

                “I’ll help you win his heart.” Woohyun said, there’s something in his eyes, was it desperation?

                I flashed a smile at him when it dawned to me how stupid I was.

                I dragged him here to bombard him with questions instead of thanking him for the efforts he exerted, whether it is just for his convenience or for me, I admit he had made me feel special.

                “Thank you Woohyun, thank you for extracting revenge to those who bullied me, I know that it was you who did that. Thanks for protecting me from Eunjung and those who will bully me, and, and thanks for making me feel special. Ah, also thanks for this chicken burger. B-but I think it’s too much, you don’t have to help me be with Sunggyu.” I stood up from my seat and took my belongings, Woohyun also stood up his eyes filled with questions. His right hand moved and reached out, holding my left wrist.

                My hand wriggled under his touch. I don’t know why but I feel uneasy everytime Woohyun’s skin would graze mine.

                “Are you sure?” Woohyun asked me, I smiled, assuring him. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep my mouth mum.” And then I began to walk away, but Woohyun followed me.

                “Ya Woohyun, why are you following me?”

                “Ya, don’t get too cocky, I’m not following you, it just happened that this is the direction to my house.” Ah, so that’s it. I didn’t even know that our house is in the same direction.

                For fifteen minutes we walked with each other by our side, no one’s talking but the atmosphere is not cold. I knew that during the course people we passed by stared at us, maybe their wondering why a man as handsome as Nam Woohyun is walking with a girl as ugly as I am.

                Nam Woohyun’s right hand held my left hand, as if his gesture is telling me not to mind those prying eyes. Strange as it was, I really didn’t mind and know what’s more strange? I did not try to escape from his touch. Though I still feel uneasy, at the same time I feel so secured, as if nothing bad would happen to me as long as his hand is holding mine.

                “Ah, my house is already here, ne Woohyun where’s yours?” I asked Woohyun when I realized that we’ve already reached my house. Can you imagine? I thought we just share the same direction but he also lives nearby.

                “Mine is just a ten minute walk from here. Well then I’m off.” I watched him walk away from my sight; I didn’t enter my house until he completely disappeared.

                With a stupid smile on my face I entered my house, my father was the one who greeted me, and for the first time after two years I greeted him back. Well my father and I have a really bad relationship, it started after he was diagnosed with a brain tumor, though he is completely fine now, something have changed. He is not the father I used to know before he undergo that stupid operation.

                “Ne Miyazaki __________ I thought you said there’s nothing going on between the two of you?” Lee Hannah complained with a cute pout on her face as soon as I’ve reached my bedroom.

                “B-Because I was afraid people would bully me for being his girl.” I felt bad for lying at Hannah but I promised Woohyun that I won’t tell anyone that our relationship is just a big fat lie.

                “But I’m your cousin, and I thought we’re best friends!” She whined as I took off my uniform, not giving a damn to be seen by Hannah with nothing but my underwear since she’s my cousin, and that she’s a girl too. T,T

                “Mianhe Hannah.” Really sorry for telling you lies at this moment.

                “Apology accepted.” Glad she did. “But I’m gonna tell Ahjumma and Ahjusshi about this.” She grinned and before I could stop her she already went downstairs announcing my relationship with Woohyun. Gaah! Now I have to lie to my parents too!

                “Ahjumma! Ahjusshi! Your daughter already have a boyfriend!!” Dang you Hannah!

                My mother and my father dashed straight to my room, good thing I’m already garbed with a big sweatshirt and sweat pants.

                “Who’s he?” My mother asked with that cute excited smile on her face. I’m surprised that she’s not surprised to the ‘fact’ that I managed to get myself a boy.

                “He’s a boy in our class, ne Ahjumma your daughter caught a big fish, the guy she’s dating is one of the most popular guys in our academy.” Hannah boasted, as if she’s more proud than I am.

                “Is that true?” I nodded, there’s no point in telling the truth now, and they won’t listen to me anyways.

                “Really? Isn’t that great dear?” Mother turned to father, father on the other hand said, “Invite him to dinner tomorrow. I want to know what kind of man is dating my precious daughter.”

                “Eh? B-but Tou-san (father)”

                “No buts.” End of conversation, and so father went out of my sight. This is what I hate about him now, my cheerful father turned into a serious man after the operation.

                “You heard your father _______, invite your boyfriend to dinner tomorrow. I wonder what kind of food I’ll prepare.” And so mother too, went out of my room.

                I glared at Hannah, and she just grinned at me, as if she’s saying I deserved what just happened.

                This is my karma for lying.

0.0

                The next day I woke up earlier than Hannah, prepared my own breakfast and also Woohyun’s lunchbox. In Japan, the country where I spent my entire middle school years it is a custom for a girl to prepare her boyfriend’s lunch. So here I am cooking another bento for Woohyun. The next time I saw him I’d ask him what kind of food he would like to eat.

                Mou, this is really making us like a real couple. Again I realized how disappointed I am that this are all lies, that this is not real. That this is just for his convenience.

                Aigoo, why am I being so down just because I am not his real girlfriend? Ya! Miyazaki _______ you must remember that the one you like is Sunggyu!

                “The one I like is Sunggyu. The one I like is Sunggyu. The one I like is Sunggyu.” I told myself again and again, as if I am reciting a mantra that would save my life.

                I decided to go to school ahead of Hannah, this is so I could avoid the prying eyes of my schoolmates who would surely whisper nasty things in front of me as soon as they see me.

                “Good morning.” I was closing our gate when I heard a familiar voice greeted me. I turned around and I was surprised to see Woohyun outside, waiting for me.

                “What are you doing here?” I asked, though the answer is obvious.

                “Waiting for you.” He said.

                “No, I meant why?” Really he doesn’t have to wait for me does he?

                “I’m your boyfriend right?”

                “B-but we’re just putting on a show right?” I returned his question with another question.

“Exactly.” He stated, aigoo, how stupid I could be?!

For the third time we walked side by side with his right hand holding my left. Really I’m afraid of Woohyun’s gestures. I’m afraid that if I’d get used to this I’ll be doomed when we finally call this off. Afraid that along the process I’ll forget about Sunggyu and fall for him instead.

I shook my head, as if doing that would shake off the thoughts in my head. That can’t be. I can’t fall for him; he already likes someone else right? Besides, besides, I already like Sunggyu.

Do I really like Sunggyu?

Of course I do?! Miyazaki ____________ why do you doubt your feelings for him?

“The one I like is Sunggyu. The one I like is Sunggyu. The one I like is Sunggyu.” I whispered to myself.

“What are you murmuring?” Woohyun asked me, breaking the tension and silence that engulfed us.

“Nothing, a-ah, Woohyun, m-mother asked if you could come in our house tonight and eat dinner there. Would you come?” Ah, I shouldn’t have asked him that, obviously he won’t like to come.

“Of course I would it’s for my princess after all.” He said to my surprise. I don’t really understand why but a smile ensued on my face.

Aigoo, what’s happening to me?

As usual prying eyes continued to pry on us but I decided to ignore it, after all what’s happening in my life is nothing but my business.

The school time passed by quickly my classmates became too friendly to me, especially the girls. The kept on pestering me with their stupid questions. When lunch time came I ate my bento together with Woohyun. I was really happy that he ate all of the foods I prepared for him this morning. The girls also teased us for having a couple lunch, the boys on the other hand envied Woohyun’s free bento and some of them begged their girlfriends to make one for them too. The next thing I knew it is already dismissal time.

I was searching for Woohyun, who was excused by their club manager during our last subject. He asked me to wait for him; after all he’s going to eat dinner at my place.

I wish umma and tou-san won’t embarrass me.

I was about to make a turn into another hallway when a voice caught my attention.

“Sunggyu don’t you think that Miyazaki is too ugly for Woohyun?” I heard a guy asked Sunggyu.

“I don’t think so. Woohyun likes Miyazaki right? Let’s just support him for his love.” Waah, this is why I like Sunggyu, he has never, not even once, criticized my looks.

“Well, I still think Minkyung or Eunjung suits Woohyun better. Seeing Woohyun with Miyazaki is quite painful to the eye.”

“Hmm, I guess you do have a point, things would really be a lot better for Miyazaki if her face would suit Woohyun.”

I don’t know what hurt more?

The truth that Sunggyu agreed that I am ugly

Or

The fact that Woohyun is an eyesore in their eyes when he is with me?

                “Why are you so quiet?” Woohyun asked me as we were walking our way to my home.

                “Nothing, it’s just that. Physically speaking, am I that ugly?” I asked him with my gloomy voice.

                “Well, not really. In my whole life, I never associated you with the word ugly.” My heart jumped upon hearing his reply, it is as if it is okay for me to believe what he had said.

                “But everyone else thinks I’m ugly, well, I am ugly.” I said, and before Woohyun could lecture me about ugliness I asked him.

                “Woohyun, please make me beautiful.” I said.

                Woohyun stopped walking and so am I. He looked in my eyes as I held my gaze firmly at his eyes.

                “Why?” He asked me though I knew he already knows the reason why.

                “Because I’m ugly and for once I want to be beautiful too, just like E-eunjung and M-Minkyung.” I murmured, embarrassed of the words coming out from my mouth.

                “No, not for that shallow reason.” No, he must help me.

                “B-but if you won’t help me then there’s no way I’d be suitable for y-Sunggyu!” I reasoned out, desperately. Hoping that this reason is reasonable enough for you. Hoping that you’d help me too.

                For a moment you did not answer my pleas, but at the end you gave in.

                “Fine.” I jumped and hugged you as soon as I heard you agree, I’m so happy to your response to the point that I forgot what I saw in your eyes upon hearing my second reason. SADNESS.

               ~0.0~

Author’s note: There, the first time I updated this story this fast hehe, usually it takes me weeks to update this but I am really fired up now so here’s chapter Six. Anyways I really hope you’d still enjoy reading this.

                Please do leave a comment, let me have a glimpse on your thoughts when you’re reading this. Please?

Please also do click the subscribe button for those who haven’t subscribed yet.

A zillion thanks to my three new subscribers! And also to those who were kind enough to leave a comment :P

To my 26 subscribers this chapter is for you!

~Bluementrit