4 years ago...

"You have to show up. Not like the other time! Sumin! I'm warning you!" Sieun scolds Sumin over the phone.

"Yeah yeah. I will. But if you keep me up on the phone for any longer I'm afraid I won't show up on time princess and then you'll be left without a partner." Sumin jokes as she looks at the outfit she's left on her bed to wear. She's been busy trying to get herself ready for a while now but Sieun has kept talking to her over the phone. She can feel Sieun's excitement over the phone as well as nervousness. She understands all those feelings the girl has because she's sharing the exact same feelings, if not more of them.

Tonight is a special night. It's their graduation party, one that the school is arranging for all students that graduated this year. The rules are the usual: show up with a date, wear something fancy, not drink alcohol inside the school premises though no one is following that rule because everyone has actually brought bottles of "water" with them, hiding their alcoholic drinks inside.

Sumin doesn't care about any of those rules. Doesn't plan on aiming for the queen of the night title that their school always awards every year, doesn't plan on drinking too much or getting loose, doesn't plan on getting wild and partying too hard like how she always does almost every single Friday night now. Tonight, she has other plans.

Tonight, she plans on finally confessing to Sieun. She's had enough of waiting, enough of pushing and pulling, of challenging Sieun. She's almost too sure of the answer which is clear to everyone by now. That Sieun simply doesn't like her that way. Sieun is straight and Sumin knows that too well by now. She's always talked about guys and only and has liked a few guys around their school before. She's never dated anyone, yet, but still, it's pretty clear that she's not interested in girls. Still, Sumin wants to give it a chance, to let it out, even if she gets rejected. It's their last night as high schoolers and as a crazy wild girl that she always is, she wants to try something wild and crazy tonight too. In a different way. Not get too drunk like how she usually does, but confess instead, confess to her best friend who's straight and doesn't like her. That's crazy, maybe crazier than getting drunk and dancing with random people or flirting hilariously with girls and getting rejected.

Sumin doesn't care though.

Today has been a long and eventful day for most students. They graduated, their parents came to the ceremony in the morning, they received their diplomas and congratulated each other. For Sumin's group of friends this hasn't happened because Sumin's friends are younger than her and Sieun. They surely congratulated them the loudest they could though ⏤which was way louder than any other student has done for their friends who graduated today⏤ and couldn't stop hyping them up even hours later from the ceremony. Sumin's mother has showed up, but only briefly because her shift was starting somewhere in the middle of the ceremony, but Sumin didn't mind. She never did. She always understands how working as a nurse can be even if she hasn't been in that field ever before. She understands how some jobs can't have breaks, how people will always need her mom's help so she was way more than glad that her mother managed to be there even for half of the ceremony.

Sieun's parents haven't shown up. Both of them were busy with work, as always. Sieun seemed slightly bothered when they've both waited behind the podium and Sumin would keep looking excitedly around the crowd until she would spot her mom. She soon got over it though because as soon as she also spotted Sumin's mom she smiled immediately, feeling happy that someone very familiar to her that almost felt like an actual mother to her, someone that she adored so much, was there. Sumin hadn't questioned Sieun anything about her parents, knowing well enough how odd things were for Sieun so she only tried to make her happy that morning and forget about her sadness and disappointment that her parents couldn't be there for her.

"You mean prince? Without a prince? Are you my prince charming now?" Sieun teases over the phone. Sumin laughs as she spreads her makeup belongings on her desk, so she would start applying makeup once she would end the call with Sieun.

"I guess so. I'm your partner, right? Then who else would it be if it's not me?" Sieun's light laughter is heard over the phone before she says,

"You're not a man though."

Sumin's smile falters as she looks at her miserable reflection in the mirror. Is she even sure of what she's about to do? All signs show her not to do it so why is she still trying it? She could easily choose the easiest way of simply staying silent and moving on from Sieun silently without anyone knowing. And without anyone knowing that deep down she's suffering...

"Then why didn't you ask Jaehyuk to be your partner for tonight? He could be the perfect prince." Sumin says, trying her hardest to sound teasing instead of sulky and annoyed.

"I thought I should be with somebody I'm the closest with and feel the happiest. Also, you don't have to be a prince Sumin. Just be my princess. Nobody has to be a prince. We can both be princesses." Sumin pauses as the phone almost sleep past her shoulder ⏤wherein she's stabilized it⏤ as she really can't understand how Sieun, out of all people, is saying this.

"Alright." She replies shortly, smiling shyly at her reflection. She swears Sieun is doing this random things out of nowhere that make Sumin's heart melt too much and give her so much false hope. That false hope is what's leading her right now and what's giving her strength to confess or else she wouldn't have been doing it for sure.

"Aren't you tired of talking with me? You've literally seen me a few hours ago! We had lunch together in like... four hours ago?" Sieun chuckles over the phone once again at Sumin's words.

"You're right. I'm tired. You're a very tiring and annoying best friend, you know that?" Sumin laughs back now.

"Hm, I think I'm aware. Somebody keeps telling me that, so I've been informed a little bit." Sumin jokes along and Sieun laughs again.

"Alright, miss I know it all. I'll let you get ready. If you're not by the front gates at 9:00 I swear I'll kill you!"

"Relax poodle. I'll be there on time. Can't make my date wait, can I?"

"If she's threatening you like how I do then yeah, you definitely can't make her wait for too long. Bye Sumin. See you in a few, or else you're dead." Sumin laughs before she's about to end the call but Sieun has ended it first.

"What's this? Not even waiting for me to tell her goodbye. Rude."

*

She showed up on time. She was there even ten minutes before the time they agreed to meet up. She's managed to make it even of she's still not driving, even if she still doesn't own her own car —obviously since she also doesn't have a driving license yet— and even if her mom is tired and home sleeping it off in order to recharge and he ready for tomorrow's shift in the late afternoon. She's managed to make it even if she had to prepare way earlier, take the bus way earlier in order to be there on time. Their friends haven't shown up because they simply aren't allowed to be a part of that party since it's only for the students who graduated.

Sieun showed up on time, so she didn't make Sumin wait for too long. She was surprised Sumin was on time and hadn't run away like how she was about to at the Christmas party. They've entered the school building together and partied for a while together. They hadn't had the time to fully dance alone to a romantic song just yet so Sumin would be able to confess this time —unlike the previous time at the Christmas party that she's been totally discouraged and hurt at the end— as they've only been drinking and chatting for a while, meeting other students and congratulating them. At some point, Sieun found the students' council group a bit further and got busy talking to them and congratulating them so she's left Sumin alone behind, drinking to kill her time.

Sumin didn't mind. So far the night is peaceful and young, so far they're having fun and she doesn't feel in any rush to confess even if she's extremely nervous at the mere thought of doing so. Deep down she's actually dreading it a bit and pushing it telling herself that she could easily confess to Sieun once they reach the girl's house so if anything would go too wrong at least they would separate their ways for the night and Sieun wouldn't have to see Sumin's embarrassed and heartbroken state. But the tough side of Sumin keeps telling her to stop being a coward and just do it here, no matter how it would turn out. Still, she's trying to find the perfect moment, and until then, she's planning to enjoy her night with Sieun, just them alone, without their loud friends around to occupy them both or without any other guy flirting Sieun. Though that can happen too, but Sumin isn't as afraid of that possibility for tonight since she's Sieun's official partner for tonight so she can claim it anytime she wants to and push all those annoying guys away.

What she hasn't excepted tonight though is definitely for her night to turn upside down this soon and for things to change this much, canceling her whole plan of confessing not just that night but overall confessing ever. Things could go terribly wrong if Sumin would confess that night but she was 1000000% that they wouldn't go as terribly as they went tonight with what happened next that prevented her from actually confessing. That even was way worse than any other crazy scenario of Sumin's confession could ever go.

Sumin hadn't expected Jaehyuk to come to talk to her out of all people. She has come prepared to annoy him and drag Sieun away as her official partner for tonight if he ever came to flirt with Sieun, but she hadn't been prepared for Jaehyuk coming to talk to her, herself, out of all people instead of Sieun that he would surely go talk to and was expected to do so.

He stands beside her with a huge grin on his lips as if he won an imaginary game already and Sumin already feels annoyed by his presence. That's how they've always been. Challenging each other and fighting for Sieun's love, affection and attention without Sieun know of course —though she's witnessed them arguing but she's never thought it was for her, she just thought Sumin didn't get along with him.

He takes a drink from the bar behind them before he sips from it. His silence and stupid grin annoys Sumin way too much that she just can't stop herself but quip at him first. And that... was her mistake because it indeed made him talk and say the things Sumin always wished —even now— that he never said. Though he had come all the way there to tell her anyway even if she wouldn't start challenging him which was something Sumin figured out later.

"What do you want, airhead? If you're looking for Sieun I'm sorry to break it to you but she's my partner for tonight so of course I'm not letting you near her, not even for a second." He chuckles before he sips from his drink slowly not speaking immediately which annoys Sumin even more as she clenches her fists, angrily.

"I'm not looking for her. I was looking for you actually. And I'm glad I found you alone." Sumin pauses, looking at him confused.

"Why would you want to find me alone?" She asks him, frowning as she glares at him. She's extremely suspicious of his actions but could never see what he was about to tell her.

He smirks as he sips from his drink before he shortly says,

"Enjoy your time with Sieun now that you can. She's not staying here for long." And with that, he laughs and walks away.

Sumin stares at him shocked, not understanding what he just said but she's sure he wouldn't just throw something random to piss her off. He always speaks with facts and would always find something solid to piss her off, something real, something that could really annoy her and hurt her. He was a strong one when it came to a battle and Sumin always had a hard time with him, that's why she always hated him with all her being. She could easily shut off every each one of Sieun's suitors but never Jaehyuk as he would always find ways to make a comeback and piss her off no matter how much she would have embarrassed him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asks him loud and clear so she would be heard over the loud music. He turns his head with a smirk as his footsteps slow down.

"Maybe you should ask her. I don't know many details. She just sought for my help and made sure you wouldn't know. She was very specific about the last part. Oops! I'm sorry Sieun, I told her." He says and laughs at the end. Sumin stares at him with eyes wide in shock. This guy was unbelievable. He could even destroy himself or Sieun if she couldn't have her, just to make sure Sumin would suffer and get hurt. That was his purpose now. For Sumin to be heartbroken and never have Sieun if he couldn't have her either. He was a maniac.

But Sumin couldn't focus on that now. She parted her lips about to ask him more, not really understanding but he had already walked away, gotten lost through the dancing crazily crowd.

She slams her hand on the bar annoyed as her heart beats rapidly, her stomach tightening as his words keep twirling over her head and make it ache alone with her ears. She has to find Sieun to ask her. She has to find her immediately and hear her saying that he was a jerk who was playing with Sumin hoping that she would buy it and as an idiot that she was she did.

She walks through the crowd, pushing people slightly but she doesn't care, doesn't even apologize as she looks for Sieun through her mess and anxiety. She spots her somewhere between the students council. She calls out for her making Sieun turn around to look at her slightly surprised as she's finishing off something she was talking with the students.

"Are you leaving?" She asks her straight to the point, not even thinking properly about it as she really just wants to get it off of her chest and prove Jaehyuk wrong as soon as possible as well as make her heart be in peace as soon as possible too.

"Huh? To where?" Sieun asks her, not understanding the out of context question.

"Are you supposed to tell me something? That you're going somewhere?" Sumin asks again, as if to remind Sieun, starting to lose her patience and actually her fears making her believe in Jaehyuk's words even more.

"What? Where? Sumin what are you talking about? I'm with the students' council, can't you see?" Sieun says, mentioning with her eyes the rest of the students as in to tell Sumin to stop embarrassing her and herself. It's not the first time Sumin shows up drunk and embarrasses Sieun and Sieun thinks it's one of those times again.

"Is she drunk?"

"I think so."

"Where'd my popcorn? It's time for this party to heat up."

"Yeah, about time."

"Sumin always knows how to party."

The council has been whispering. Sumin runs her hand through her hair, annoyed at their words but mostly annoyed at Sieun's words, annoyed at how Sieun cared more about her social image and not embarrassing herself rather than what Sumin is telling her.

She holds Sieun's hand and drags her away from the students immediately, knowing very well that if she wanted to know more about this she would have to get Sieun alone. No matter Sieun's protest and grumbling or how she's embarrassed them both once again she dragged her out of the auditorium and the building overall, getting them both at the back yard before she lets go of Sieun's hand and turns to look at her annoyed.

"All you care about is what your fake friends will say about you!"

"Well, we do have some social image we have to protect and you do forget I'm the president way too often. I can't believe I left you alone for literally five minutes and you got drunk already!"

"I'm not drunk! If you knew me as well enough as you claim to, you would already know that I'm not drunk!"

"Then what was that in there?"

"Jaehyuk said you're not staying here for long." Sumin says and by the way Sieun's face flinches, her expressions falling as she fails to keep her angry face still helps ensure Sumin's doubts and make Sumin's fears become true, become a living nightmare that she can't wake up from.

"So it's true." Sumin mumbles, looking at Sieun now in disappointment as her angry expressions also fall, unable and failing to keep a solemn face as she breaks down, falling apart, her fears and hurt taking over as sadness is visible in her eyes.

"Where are you going? And why are you leaving? Why haven't you told me anything? Why does Jaehyuk know before I do?" Sumin's outburst comes as she starts asking way too many questions, her frustration taking over. She's not sure how to feel. She feels betrayed that Sieun hadn't told her but had told Jaehyuk first. Is Jaehyuk closer to her than Sumin is? Or is he more important than she is? She's angry that he knows first and she doesn't. She's hurt that Sieun is leaving. She's sad that Sieun is leaving. She's afraid... there's so many feelings for so many different things that Sumin's head is aching and she's sure she feels way worse than when she's totally wasted. She wants to wake up from this terrible nightmare but she knows it's not a nightmare and she can't wake up to escape from this. This is reality and it freaking hurts like hell.

"I was planning to tell you, Sumin... I really was... I just..." Sieun says slowly, sounding small as she tries to reason with Sumin's anger but she only makes things worse as Sumin gets even more angry for not having her questions answered but having Sieun trying to find excuses instead.

"What? You were a coward and couldn't tell me!? I don't want your excuses! You betrayed me! Best friends are supposed to share everything first before anyone else!"

"You were going to be the first one to know! I just needed his help! His dad is teaching a few classes at the college I'm going to attend and wanted to know a few more things before finally choosing it!" Sieun tries to explain.

"Why couldn't you tell me first though? That you're thinking of a specific college and need his help?" These all sound such a bad excuse to Sumin's ears.

"Because that college is three hours away! I wouldn't be talking to you about a college I'm not even sure of that's so far away! I would only announce to you my plans once I would be sure of them!" Sieun tries to explain once again, actually getting a little angry too.

"Three hours!?" Sumin exclaims angrily at first before she blinks slowly, reality hitting her. It doesn't matter that Jaehyuk knew it first. Now she does too anyway. And she wishes she didn't. She wishes it wasn't true. It doesn't matter who knows first even if it hurts Sumin still. What matters right now and what she should focus more is that Sieun is leaving, Sieun will study away once summer ends —possibly if not sooner— and it will be the first time they will be separated.

She can't handle it well. She blinks hard as she parts her lips in shock, eyebrows flying up on her forehead. Her eyes get filled with tears before she asks weakly,

"When are you leaving?"

"At the beginning of September." Sieun says, also sad now as she gulps hard.

"Sumin..." she mumbles softly as she takes a step forward, her hands reaching out to wipe Sumin's tears that are already falling from her cheeks and that's when Sumin realizes. She quickly wipes them away with the back of her palm as she takes a step back. She raises her hands as in to block Sieun from getting closer to her saying,

"Don't." mentioning for Sieun to stay away, the distance longer than two or even three people in between them could fit, hurting them both.

She can't handle it. She doesn't like it. She's sure Sieun won't be back anytime soon. It's not as easy to travel back and forth from that city back to their hometown to see Sumin and their friends. She would only visit them on holidays and that only if she's not too busy studying and having to complete assignments. She's not going to be back anytime soon. Most colleges are around four years so she's going to be away for a long while. She's going to find other friends there and she's good to forget about them and once she's done studying she's going to find a job there and never come back, fully forgetting them. The thought alone hurts Sumin too much.

If Sieun is going to forget them and never come back, Sumin has to move on now.

And here she was thinking of confessing. That sounds even more foolish now.

No. She has to move on. She has to become cold and harsh towards Sieun in order for her not to get too hurt once Sieun will be leaving and that way she won't have any feelings attached and she will be able to move on way faster even before Sieun leaves.

And that's what she's going to do.

She turns around and runs away, out of the party and never returning back, not even when Sieun calls out her name and tries to reach her —but fails. She can't stop her tears from falling down. That's one of the worst nights in her life. She wishes nothing was true. But it is. And Sieun wasn't even brave enough to tell her herself, moreover to tell her first out of everyone else.

No matter how much Sumin is crying now, she's determined to move on.

*

She meant it when she's decided to change, to move on —try to at least— to become colder and harsher. From then on her interactions with Sieun were harsher, their light teasing and bickering turned into arguing, sarcastic comments, ironic replies and smug laughter. The girls would always look at them with worried faces, not sure how to interfere or how to take this new change of events and attitudes. Before, they used to ignore them because they knew that this was just Sumin and Sieun. From that night and on though, they weren't sure what to do. They tried stopping them a few times, to no avail, so they gave up and returned back to their original method of ignoring them, which doesn't necessarily mean that they weren't worried about them though.

Something has changed, drastically and forever and they could tell.

So since their behavior has changed, the last thing Sumin ever expected late at night on the last day of summer was Sieun to show up at her door.

It's late at night. Sumin's mother left a few hours ago for her night shift, bidding Sumin goodbye and reminding her to have dinner. Sumin groaned a little, complaining that she's not a kid but ended up having dinner nonetheless. She watched some more late night movies on the TV in the living room, lying on the couch as she tried hard to stop overthinking.

The following morning —early in the morning in fact— Sieun is leaving. She's going to be at the airport waiting for her flight to take off. And as the best friend that Sumin is, she's going to be there, bidding her goodbye, no matter how much they're arguing the whole summer. Their relationship is complicated but they still think of each other as best friends so Sumin has to be there at such an important moment for Sieun. Even if that means she's going to get hurt by seeing her leaving.

No. Sumin never confessed. After she got to know that Sieun is leaving she realized it was useless to confess when Sieun would be leaving in a few months and would probably never return again... Sumin's feelings didn't matter at all compared to Sieun's big dreams and plans of traveling away to study and make her dreams come true.

The mere thought that Sieun is leaving forever in only a few hours hurts Sumin's heart way too much. Her body feels weak and in pain already and she hates it. She sighs again for the nth time as she tries to focus back on the movie again in order to forget her depressing thoughts. For a second she wonders what Sieun would be doing right now. Then she shakes her head realizing that that's a stupid question as she can perfectly guess already. Sieun is probably sleeping, having already packed her things and being completely ready for the following morning with the only nervousness in her being if she makes it on time or how the flight would go, what would the city be like, if the dorms are comfortable enough or if the college and its courses are as fulfilling and educational as she's thought and dreamed off. Totally not giving a damn care about her friends that she's leaving behind, definitely not being sad or hurting for leaving them back alone and definitely not even thinking to the slightest of Sumin or being sad about her.

Sumin is definitely sure of that.

She huffs as she tries to focus back on the movie again.

Somewhere in the middle of the movie —the third one she's watching that night—, Sumin having managed to get too into it, she hears her phone ringing. She picks it up from the mini table in front of the couch and stares at the ID a little confused as a frown forms on her face.

"Why are you calling me?" She immediately asks as she accepts the call.

"Just open the door." Sieun's voice is heard through Sumin's phone, her tone a little annoyed at Sumin's way of acting —getting straight to the point and all. Sumin frowns even more as she stands up to do what she's told, ending the call with a huff, cursing Sieun through gritted teeth as this hasn't been the first time Sieun shows up at her h