"Ah choo!" Sumin sneezes for what felt like the millionth time that morning. It's a Sunday morning in the middle of November and it's getting extremely cold already. Well, it's not that cold as it gets later on in winter, but it's definitely cold enough to definitely not walk around in simple oversized t-shirts and short shorts if you're a decent enough person. But then again, Sumin was never a decent person.

Well, it's not exactly her fault. She's been too busy working to be able to arrange her closet and finally take out of the shelves at the back her much warmer outfits for the winter season so she's been left with light clothes of an already over season. So it's pretty predictable for her to end up catching a cold. She refuses to admit it though as she keeps saying that she's fine, even when she's sneezing way too much to just be because of the dust that got in her nose as she keeps lying or because of the allergies in the air and so on whatever stupid excuse she figures out each time to excuse her mess.

She gives up on trying hard to bury herself in a thin cover of her bed —she has to admit at some point that winter is finally coming and just gets her proper thick warm blankets out of their spot at the back of her closet already— and stands up from it. She doesn't even bother to make it and instead stretches her arms upwards, yawning in the process before she drags her sleepy feet towards the kitchen to make breakfast for herself.

She has to admit that those lazy chill Sunday mornings are her favorites, wherein she wakes up at any time of the day, not giving a damn care about anyone else or having to rush to get ready for somewhere or somebody. She doesn't even check the weather outside or the time on her phone. Those mornings wherein she can be sitting on the couch and blankly staring at the TV while eating cereal and milk even if it's past noon to be eating breakfast at such a weird hour.

She hasn't properly thanked Sieun for changing her schedule yet. Her pride is still swelled up high and the walls she's built are still there standing tall and proud, preventing her from seeing the real world as it is. Deep down though she knows that she feels quite guilty for yelling at Sieun when the girl was just trying to help her out and after all she's really done her a favor. Sumin really wants to thank her one day, but for now, she's not going to admit to anybody but herself and only, moreover, to get into the process of properly thanking Sieun out loud.

From the windows at the living room as she passes by she can tell that it's cloudy outside. She shivers a little as she feels cold, but she refuses to get back to her room, searching somewhere in her closet to get a random hoodie jacket just to feel warmer for the few couple of hours she will stay awake and at home.

She enters the kitchen only to be met with Sieun's frame, again. She sighs tiredly, seriously the girl smiling to herself, humming to herself as she wears an apron above her own warmer clothes —hoodie and loose athletic pants Sumin notes to herself— as she's busy making what seems like a rolled omelet. Sumin hates seeing Sieun oh so often around her apartment but she hates it a little more lately because Sieun looks so fine without messing up Sumin's life while Sumin looks so lost without her. It awfully reminds her of how things used to be back in her high school days, when Sieun has just left to study abroad and Sumin was left alone behind, heartbroken and moping around her bedroom, crying her heart out while Sieun was doing perfectly fine in her new life, busy studying for college, meeting new people and making new relationships.

"Good morning!" Sieun replies brightly as soon as she notices Sumin's presence. The girl doesn't even bother to make herself a proper breakfast. Instead, she only starts making plain coffee for herself.

"Morning." She replies shortly and indifferently.

"Skipping breakfast again?" Sumin hums slowly.

"Why are you in such a happy mood?"

"Because it's Sunday. It's college free day so I can hang out with my friends. So why not be in the mood?"

Right. Sumin thinks. She feels sulky all over again and can't help herself but roll her eyes. Of course Sieun would hang out with her friends and most probably would hang out with Jaehyuk too.

"Right. And... are you going to hang out with Jaehyuk again?" Sumin asks as she rests her back by the counter, staring at Sieun as she twirls the spoon around in the mug, trying to blend the small amount of sugar she's poured in with the black liquor in it.

Sieun forms a small smile as she turns her head to look at Sumin on her left, saying,

"Maybe. Most probably. Why? Is it bad?"

"Yeah." Sumin replies blatantly, not being able to hide her annoyance from the exact next moment she hears that Sieun is planning to hang out with Jaehyuk again.

"What a shame. I think I never asked about your opinion though." Sieun says as she places the rolled omelet on her plate and places the pan to the side.

"I don't need you to ask for my opinion to say it. He's up to something, don't you see? He was a player in high school, what makes you think he's not one now too?" Sieun rolls her eyes before she clicks her tongue in , turning around and placing her plate of food on the table.

"I don't know. Is it bad to give him a chance? Then I'll be able to know his real purposes and won't be stuck in what ifs and what maybes. But what am I saying and to whom! To Bae Sumin who's always stuck in that way of thinking and attitude!" Sumin yelps, offended.

"Ya! I was just trying to-"

"To what, Sumin? What? Give me advice? I tried helping you out too but you didn't want my help so what makes you think I want yours? Mind your own business and let me do my own thing too. Isn't that what you wanted?" Sumin parts her lips at Sieun's harsh words and cold expressions as the girl stares at her before she returns her attention back to her food, leaving Sumin behind trying hard to think of what to say, stunned by what Sieun has told her.

"Fine! Don't say I didn't warn you when he would get in your pants and then ditch you for somebody new!" Sumin fires back and from Sieun's angry expressions she knows this was the wrong move. She should just let her pride aside for once and say what she really wants to say, to apologize but she really doesn't seem like she can do even that...

"Have you ever thought that maybe that's what I want?" Sieun asks coldly as she places a pair of fork and glass on the table before she turns her head to the side towards Sumin's direction, not looking at her though as her back is still the girl. Sumin shakes her head.

"No. No, that's definitely not what you want. The Sieun I know would never want such a thing. Except if living away from here for four years has changed you this much."

At that, Sieun doesn't fire back or get annoyed as Sumin would have expected. Instead, she forms a small smile before she fully turns to face Sumin, saying,

"I'm glad you still know me and remember how I used to be and what my beliefs were." Then she walks up to Sumin and for a second Sumin pauses, not understanding the change in the girl's behavior as well as her movements. She gulps hard as Sieun stops right in front of her, getting oddly nervous being this close with Sieun.

Sumin's eyes wander on Sieun's facial characteristics from up this close as she feels her heart hammering in her chest. The girl's clear face, sharp nose and high cheekbones, the girl's arched eyebrows and soft caramel brown eyes that Sumin has fallen in love with. The girl's heart shaped pink soft kissable lips that Sumin used to dream about all day and night everyday.

Who is Sumin kidding? She's not over Sieun...

No.

No it can't be.

She has to be over her.

It's embarrassing to say the least to admit that she's not over Sieun after four years, after being hurt and left alone for this long, after liking for an even longer amount of time Sieun who has never liked her back in the very first place. After everything she's gone through, it's too much for Sumin to admit that she still likes Sieun.

No.

No it can't be.

Her pride builds the walls all over again, starts placing new thick bricks right behind the old faded weak walls in order to prevent herself from falling again. No, she's not going to make the same mistake again. Even if it's true, she won't admit it to anyone, not even to herself. For her, she's over Sieun a long time ago and she's not planning to like her back ever again.

"What are you doing?" She only mumbles, trying her hardest to sound fierce and srip the trembling out of nervousness in the tone of her voice.

Sieun doesn't reply at first. Instead she stretches her arms upwards, leaning forward before her hands touch something and soon Sumin realizes that Sieun was looking for something inside the shelf above Sumin's head. She lets out a dumb "ah" as soon as she realizes, feeling like a total fool for panicking and getting all nervous for literally nothing. Why else would Sieun walk towards her and stand this close to her anyway? Right? And why does Sumin sound annoyed about it just now? Wasn't she the one saying that she won't fall for Sieun again? Then what's her problem? Why does she seem like she cares if Sieun wants to be close to her or not? She doesn't want Sieun close to her so why this behavior? She doesn't get it and she doesn't want to because deep down she knows what it is but still doesn't want to accept it.

Sieun takes another set of plates and cutlery before she turns around and walks towards the table. She sets them on it along with a new glass of water before she turns her head looking at Sumin saying,

"You coming or what?" Sumin pauses, pointing at herself with her index finger before she turns her head to look at the shelf behind her, accidentally bumping her head on it instead. She immediately lets out a groan and holds her forehead but it was effective as she realized that Sieun indeed means her and not somebody behind her. Point is, why is Sieun suggesting that Sumin come to the table? Why should they eat breakfast together? Sieun has stopped doing that with her ever since they fought. It was her life, her breakfast, her hang outs and only and she could care less about what Sumin does.

"Well... if you want me to." Sumin mumbles, not understanding what's happening. Sieun giggles softly, liking to observe Sumin's clumsiness in the morning.

"Sumin, sit." Sieun says simply with a soft smile as she sits down at her own chair. Sumin nods her head slowly as she walks towards the table and takes a seat near Sieun, leaving some space between them —always that familiar space that would easily fit one person.

The moment Sumin sees Sieun serving her some of her breakfast too she pauses.

"Why do you want to have breakfast with me? You usually don't."

"I thought I should give your sulky self a chance." Sieun replies as she takes a bite from her own meal.

"Why is that? Because I still know you?"

"Yeah."

"You will still hang out with him though."

"Yeah. That won't change." Sumin scoffs.

"Of course it wouldn't. You and him are inseparable at this point." Sieun giggles.

"It's fun seeing you sulky about this."

"Oh so you're having fun? Seriously? I'm trying to help and yet here you are making fun of me!"

"I'm not. I'm just saying that it's fun."

"It's fun seeing me suffer."

"Why do you even suffer?"

"Because you're going to hurt yourself that's why!"

"Then let me do that! Why does it concern you? Weren't you the one saying I should mind my own busi-"

"I'm sorry! Alright? I'm taking it back! I'm sorry!"

There. So simple, yet so hard to say all this time. It's what Sumin really had to do, what she really wanted to say and what Sieun really wanted to hear too. Yet sometimes pride and egoism doesn't let any of the two sides act how they really want to and instead leads them in a very wrong and different direction.

"You're forgiven." Sieun says softly after a few seconds of intense silence. Sumin pouts to herself, her eyebrows still knitted angrily as she stuff with food, not replying immediately and leaving them both in an uncomfortable and awkward silence for a while.

"Does that mean we're back to how we were before?" She only mumbles after a while of having collected her thoughts and emotions and has fully formed and double checked what she really wanted to say.

"How were we before?" Sieun asks as she raises an eyebrow and tilts her head to the side staring at Sumin who groans immediately.

"You know how!"

"You mean friends that always bicker and meddle with each other's business and life?"

"Yeah. That." Sumin replies and points towards Sieun as in to mention that that's what she meant too though it was too hard for her already hurt pride to say that aloud so she let Sieun say it of course.

"So you do consider me as a friend! The very first few days I've been here you totally didn't." Sumin groans a little.

"I still don't want to consider you as a friend but you seem to be stuck around here for a long time so I guess I have no choice. You're hanging out with my friends too so... it would be too awkward not to be friends while we share the same friend group anyway." Sumin states out loud her reasons. Sieun chuckles.

"Last time I checked, we hadn't fought when I left. So I don't get why after coming back four years later we're not friends anymore."

"Because we weren't talking or texting or calling each other for four years? We lost contact so this immediately makes us nothing." Sumin states blatantly.

"You're still friends with Chaeyoung and Yeeun though even if you've barely kept contact with them too. If you're real friends with somebody you stay friends even if they're gone for a while." Sumin sighs and lets down on her plate her fork, folds her arms and lets them rest on the table as she turns to look at Sieun seriously.

"What do you want, really?"

"I wanna know the real reason as to why you're keeping a distance from me and only with me. What has changed. Why only me."

"These are lots of questions."

"Just answer, Sumin."

"Alright. You want answers, you'll get answers. You're not gonna like them, but it's the truth. Firstly, I'm not keeping a distance from you, this is just how we always are and used to be-"

"We clearly weren't like tha-"

"Secondly, nothing has changed I guess I'm just still a little awkward because you've been away for a long time so I'm still trying to process things. You're not fully the same person as you've left years ago. I'm still trying to get to know you I suppose and get used to you being around here, especially in my apartment out of all places."

"Well there is a solution for that. We can always hang out more but you don't seem to like that ide-" Sieun rolls her eyes being cut while she's talking for the second time but decides to let Sumin finish as she, herself, has asked for answers from the ash blonde girl anyway.

"And thirdly, it's only with you because you've been away for four years and you used to be my best friend, not Chaeyoung or Yeeun. Satisfied to know the reasons now?" Sumin finishes as she crosses her arms to her chest and rests her back on the back of the chair, staring at Sieun with a done expression on.

"Not really. But I'll take those answers for now. Thanks for being open. Or trying to, at least." Sieun says as she tries to finish eating her breakfast.

"My suggestion is still on, you know."

"Which was?"

"To hang out more. We can get to know each other again." Sieun suggests. Sumin sighs. She's pretty sure she's made up her mind of not falling in love with Sieun ever again and keeping the girl away from her life a few minutes earlier so this idea is totally against her plans but she seriously can't keep Sieun away forever. Sieun is back and she's planning to stay, it doesn't seem like she's going to leave Sumin's apartment any time soon and she's friends with Sumin's friends too so Sumin really can't act like a sulky child forever and keep her away forever. Maybe she can try to befriend her, but still keep some boundaries.

"Well, that could happen if you stopped hanging out this much with a curtain someone." Sumin says as she stands up from her seat and takes her empty plate in her hands, having already finished eating as she's a fast eater. She walks towards the sink to clean up the dish while she hears Sieun laughing behind her.

"You mean Jaehyuk? He's a part of my friend group though and we still have a project to finish. I can't just stop hanging out with him because you think he's a player!" Sumin sighs. Sieun isn't wrong and she knows it yet she hates it.

"Then I assume you can't get to know me again. If you hang out with him this much there's literally no time left for anybody else, like me, for example." Sieun smirks and Sumin can tell by her tone in her voice when she speaks up again. Yes, Sumin can even tell when the girl is smiling while she talks even when she's not seeing her face. Just by hearing that specific tone Sieun gets each time she talks while she smiles is enough to know that the girl is smiling.

"You sound like a jealous girlfriend, you know." Sieun can't help but say. Sumin gasps and scoffs immediately.

"Funny. You know what? I think you have to kiss your chance of getting to know me goodbye. I'm done." Sumin says sarcastically as she wipes clean the plate, glass and cutlery and places them back inside the shelf. As she's about to walk out of the kitchen though Sieun holds her by her wrist to stop her from walking any further as she giggles.

"Stop sulking. I'll hang out with him less, if that's what you want. Happy now?" Sieun says as she stands up and back hugs Sumin, resting her head on Sumin's left shoulder.

Sumin on the other hand feels her whole body shuddering at the sudden uncalled for use of skinship. Sieun didn't just hold her wrist, she even back hugged her! Her hands wrapped around Sumin's thin waist, chest collided with Sumin's back, head on Sumin's shoulder, warm breath hitting Sumin's ear.

It's too much.

Sumin can't take it.

"Ya!" She yelps as her hands immediately hold Sieun's and break their hold on her waist before she turns around and pushes Sieun away. Sieun chuckles, having already expected such a reaction as she definitely doesn't look annoyed or hurt.

"I'm not asking you to do things for me! It's for your shake jeez! Gosh do whatever you want, I don't care!"

"You do care."

"No, I don't." Sumin says as she crosses her arms to her chest, annoyed expression on. Sieun sighs a little, seeming a little disappointed in Sumin once again.

"Here you go again." She mumbles, tiredly. Sumin bites her lips, realizing she's doing it again and mumbles a low apology.

"I accept your suggestion." She then mumbles a little louder and clearer in order for Sieun to hear her out and focus on that instead of her harsh, rude behavior, which indeed works a little as Sieun's expressions change from disappointed ones to excited ones as her eyes lit up.

"Good because I'm completely free in the afternoon and thought it would be cool to hang out with you."

"Cool then. I'll see you in the afternoon?" Sumin says a little unsure.

"Why? Are you going somewhere now? I thought you don't work on Sundays."

"I don't. But I still have to take care of a few things. Won't be out for a long time though. I'll be back before lunch."

"Then maybe we can cook something together for lunch! Are you craving for something?"

Sumin pauses a little, totally not used to such behavior coming from Sieun that she seriously has to pause for a few whole seconds to process what's really happening and what she should really answer and how to answer it. Then again, that's exactly how they used to be.

Friends.

Having light conversions, hanging out, sharing lunch together, and yes bickering nonstop too but nothing serious.

Sumin has forgotten how that felt and is not used to it now, but this is how things always were anyway. It's been so long since the last time they acted that way towards each other though that only now does she realize how much she's missed it. She really had.

She shrugs her shoulders, mumbling out loud,

"Not really. You can choose today's menu." trying her hardest to sound indifferent as she tries her hardest to stop herself from smiling. She turns around and walks out of the kitchen with a small wave of goodbye to Sieun who waved back with a cheerful "goodbye!" before she grabs her bag from the hanger by the door and walks out of the apartment.

Only then does she allow herself to smile as she feels her heart hammering in her chest.

So this is how it feels to be friends with Sieun again.

Sumin has missed it.

But then again, she gets reminded of how that has made her love Sieun, how dangerous this game is and how easily it is for her to fall for Sieun in that way. She really has to be careful from now on as being friends with Sieun really seems like the wrong option at the very end...

*

It's odd. Or so Sumin thinks when she returns home —after having run a few errands and arranged a few things hack at the cafeteria earlier this day— and finds Sieun already waiting for her with a bright warm familiar smile on, one that she didn't use for Sumin before but used to use a lot back in their high school days. It feels odd having Sieun exclaiming cheerfully,

"I've made dinner!" Or nag,

"Why didn't you come back for lunch?"

To Sumin, it almost feels like back then, in their high school days and she feels too conflicted to be able to decide whether this new change is a good or a bad thing. She wants to lie to herself and believe that it's a good change but deep down she knows it's bad. It's bad for her because she's gonna end up falling in the trap and liking Sieun all over again. She likes all the reminisce about their past that their recent newly born relationship that just started a few hours ago makes her feel. But at the same time she's afraid. Afraid of falling in love with Sieun. She even avoided returning back home to get lunch with Sieun exactly because she's confused and a little too scared to let herself go and spend too much time close with Sieun.

"I had lunch with Chaeyoung and Yeeun. I don't