It's almost close to Christmas.

15 days, in fact.

Sumin is beyond excited. She used to think of holidays as an excuse for people to buy a lot and that the actual Christmas spirit of caring for one another has been long lost. Things aren't like that anymore. Ever since she started dating Sieun and overall having her in her life Sumin's world has turned from a miserable one to a very happy and colorful one. She's found the motivation she's lost and her happy, teasing spirit has been back at full force. Sometimes even their friends would complain about how energetic Sumin would be claiming that Sieun was putting something in her milk every morning —to which Sumin would reply with,

"I don't drink milk pabo!"

Dating Sieun for almost one year has been an amazing experience Sumin would choose over anything else again and again every time she would get the chance to even if whenever they would fight and hurt each other she would be the most hurt and depressed. Jayun and Seeun specifically would call her depressing side as the "Sumin lesbian rampage era — she will totally kill Sieun once she sees her". Okay maybe they're a little dramatic though Sumin has to admit that Sieun is affecting her mental health a lot whether that's a good or a bad thing.

So far though they've always faced their difficulties together. Well, so far their difficulties have been themselves actually. If they had to face any problems that was mainly their big egos and pride that they ended up throwing out of the window after every fight, realizing how truly hurt they were because of it. Other than that though they didn't have sny other enemies against their relationship and honestly Sumin thought they didn't need any more trouble. Their own problems were enough.

Until they weren't...

15 days before Christmas Sumin has jumped from her own room and rushed to Sieun's saying,

"Sieun! We're going to a seminar in Seoul tomorrow!" She has been smiling from ear to ear, excited for her mini road trip that she would go with her girlfriend as well excited to visit the capital city. She's also been excited for the seminar too as she's been reading news about it for a while and has been waiting for it with anticipation someone would say. It was a seminar related to stores and the policy they should use, tips employers could use in order for their stores to have more income or tips about how they could bring more customers and satisfy them according to their needs. About improving the service and the quality of the products as well as refreshing the stores. There were a lot of tips and a lot of big coffee brands attending and Sumin couldn't miss such a big chance to hear so many tips that could help her improve her own cafeteria as well as take new ideas based on methods and techniques other cafeterias have been using. There was going to be a demonstration of a new improved coffee machine that was going to be released in the beginning of the following year and Sumin especially wanted to see how that would work because she obviously wants to have the best machines in her cafeteria that would make the fastest and best coffee out there.

Sieun has already known about Sumin's plans about that seminar because well obviously the girl has been telling her about it for a while now. She's been very happy hat Sumin wants to on her cafeteria business so much and that she never gives up even if there's a lot of competition from other cafeterias out there in the market. She feels proud that Sumin doesn't give up and likes her business even if it's nothing that fancy or too profitable like her father used to say. If anything Sieun likes those small businesses even more —the exact opposite of what her father likes— so she really likes and supports Sumin's dreams as much as she can.

So that night when Sumin burged into her room with these news she has raised her head from looking at her notebook, glasses hanging loose on the bridge of her nose as she smiled at her girlfriend, ignoring her studying for a few seconds saying,

"That's awesome news. Maybe we could use that chance to have a bit of fun before Christmas. Next week you're good to be busy with work." Sumin nods her head with a smile before she adds,

"Sure! We could actually buy gifts for the girls and prepare a surprise Christmas party once we close for Christmas at Christmas eve night." Sieun smiles and nods her head at Sumin's ideas. Sumin waves at her saying that she's going to prepare dinner and so Sieun was left alone with her thoughts again. She looks at her calendar realizing that during these days they're going to be in Seoul she also has a meeting with her father's company. And the least thing she wants to do is attend it. But she knows she has to. After all, she arranged it.

How can she tell Sumin though?

*

13 days before Christmas.

Sumin and Sieun have just arrived at the hotel where they will be staying the few days they're going to be in Seoul. Sumin hasn't had the time to fully unpack her things as the seminar starts in the morning and ends somewhere late in the afternoon and as the excited Sumin that she's been she quickly tossed her suitcase on the double bed —the one year ago Sumin would had freaked out to know that her future self would be renting a hotel room with one double bed instead of two separate beds, if not bedrooms— and has searched for her suit. She immediately wore it without even caring if Sieun is still in the room —even her old self didn't care if Sieun saw her — and went to fix her hair and make-up in the bathroom.

"You're going already?" Sieun has said. Sumin has hummed back in response.

"It's only for today. Then I'm all yours for the following days." Sumin promises to which Sieun can't be fully sure about. She only nods her head slowly, wondering how Sumin hasn't noticed the change in her attitude. She has been less affectionate for the past two days because she's been nervous on how her meeting with her dad would go. And right now she's beyond nervous as she sits there on their bed and stares at Sumin almost begging her not to go with her sad eyes. She doesn't have a good feeling about her meeting with her dad. Maybe that's because the previous time she met with her family a few months ago they've told her to break up with Sumin, or maybe because the only thing she's been doing for the past few days ever since the meeting has been arranged has been yelling to her dad on the phone. She's exhausted and tired and she swears she wants them gone from her life. Then again, with this meeting coming up...

She's not sure how they will be gone from her life.

Originally when her 18th birthday passed their family lawyer has informed her that she has the right to claim a part of the inheritance which is a part of the company, that is. Her grandpa has left her a part too so legally she could be a side boss too and direct the company too if she wanted to. But when she got to know that, knowing that the company and the money were the reason she was sent away to study, away from her happiness, away from her friends and Sumin she told her lawyer to freeze any actions towards her legal rights on the inheritance because she was young and couldn't choose.

And she has been freezing this whole process for a while now until she recently talked with her lawyer again who convinced her to take action. She was still free and could choose to do whatever she wanted. And the Sieun she always knew told her to just give up and give her damn part of that ty company that everyone except from her cared for to anyone who wanted it. But the rational part within her —also the one that has been studying economics for four years that finally wanted to act on its knowledge— told her to take revenge, to sign the papers and claim what's hers and lead the way in the company the way she wanted to, to make her dad's life a living hell and make him regret all the greed within him while she would be out there studying to become a vet and actually opening her own veterinary clinic as somebody she would trust in the company would lead things for her whenever she would be busy.

But has this ever been her dream though? Leading a company is a lot and she never liked it so why sign for it?

Until now she has been thinking hard about what to do. She's been thinking so hard that she didn't even realize Sumin had actually walked towards her, kissed her goodbye and left. She only woke up from her thoughts when her lawyer knocked at her door meaning that he had come to pick her up. Sumin has asked Sieun earlier if she wanted to join her at the seminar as after all anyone could join it but Sieun has refused saying that it was a lot of hours and she would get too tired —when in reality she really wanted to and preferred doing that way more than attending her dad's meeting.

And so, with all that in mind, Sieun followed her lawyer, not really sure on what she should do.

*

Sumin has returned back to the hotel room at the end of the day, her head aching, feeling tired, but with a smile on her lips. She's heard a lot of new things and got a lot of new ideas on how to improve her cafeteria. She's been excited to share all that with Sieun but most importantly she just wanted to see Sieun, hug her, kiss her and sleep with her as she's been too tired.

When she reached their room though Sieun hasn't been there. She texted the girl who immediately called her back.

"Sieun?"

"Hey. Has the seminar been over already?"

"Mmm. Yep. Have you gone out?" Sumin asks as she hears a lot of people talking in the background of Sieun's side of the line, some sounding close to Sieun but most of them way further away.

"Yeah..." Sieun replies slowly before she clears up saying,

"Actually Sumin... can you come by the ballroom of the hotel? I can't explain much right now but I would like to introduce you to a few people before getting the hell out of here." Sumin hums in response, not really understanding but by Sieun's tone she can tell that the girl isn't feeling that comfortable.

"I'm on my way." And with that Sumin rushes back downstairs to the reception to ask for the ballroom. When she reaches it though... there's a bodyguard outside that stops her on her way saying,

"Only people from the Park company can enter. What's your name ma'am?" He says, holding out a list of people. Sumin pauses, looking at him oddly before her eyes land on Sieun's figure that's visible from the little opening the closed doors of the room have. Her heart aches as she finally realizes what has been happening.

She knew. Even if Sieun hasn't told her Sumin knew. Sumin already knew and prayed it wouldn't happen.

Sieun's father has come to visit her one morning threatening her to leave Sieun's side or else he would pressure Sieun to start working for him. Sumin waited for Sieun to tell her about her and her dad's deal but Sieun never did. Sumin could understand that it must have been hard to talk about it, but she still waited and waited and waited... but it never came.

She could easily tell the tall, strong bodyguard that she's Sieun's girlfriend but at that moment words wouldn't come out of her lips. Her eyes sting and feels dry and burns. She has a freaking fireball stuck in threatening to burst and the waterfall to start falling from her eyes but she refuses to look this pathetic and cry in front of a random bodyguard. She doesn't blame Sieun. She's not even mad at Sieun. She just feels...

...so small. Small and fragile in front of the bodyguard, around the hotel staff, the receptionist or the people inside that ball room. But she especially feels like an ant in front of Sieun and her father. Who is she when it comes to great Park Sieun, the daughter of Mr. Park who owns one of the biggest most famous and economically strong companies in the whole of Korea? How is she good enough to Sieun when it's just simple her, standing there and trying her best? How can she stand tall and proud next to Sieun when Sieun is inside that ball room and talks so comfortably with all those people, totally aware of every single topic in every conversation going on and knowing very well what each subject means and having her own arguments on it? How can she be good enough for Sieun who now has a part of the Park company and is not just Sieun but Park Sieun, the boss of that company? How can Sumin ever be good enough when she's just standing there, wearing the cheapest suit she could find to attend a simple seminar for small businesses while Sieun is in there, attending a grand, special event only for her company's staff to celebrate the fact that she's an official boss of the company too?

She can't beat that.

She can't beat any of that. She's not enough and Sumin has never ever doubted herself so much before. She's never gone into the mindset of comparing herself with Sieun even when her father has come to threaten her. Even then, Sumin was strong and told him that Sieun was a grown up and could choose what she wanted to do with her life and who she wanted by her side. But does Sumin even believe in all that bull she told him now?

No. She doesn't. Because she doesn't get how Sieun could choose her out of everyone else she could ever have. She doesn't understand how she's enough. Or how she could ever be enough in the future as Sieun is going to be very famous from now on and occupied with her new job a lot. How can Sumin ever stand by her side again and hold her hand while everyone will be watching and pointing at her with their fingers judging her for being poor and not enough for Sieun. She's never thought of all that before because before it was just her and Sieun going out on dates and no one knew them or looked at them any weirdly.

She smiles bitterly at the bodyguard, excusing herself and saying that she mixed the rooms instead, turning around and leaving, returning back to her room with watery eyes but refusing to cry. Instead she takes a glass of wine and walks by the balcony, standing there and drinking for a long while, deep in her own thoughts as she tries hard to forget her pain. A foreign pain that she's never felt before. She would never look at Sieun before she feel small, insignificant, weak. She's never felt that before and it's so foreign and strong now that it scares her and hurts her too much.

She checks at the time and realizes that it's late. There are a few missed calls and unread texts from Sieun and Sumin gets reminded that at some point the event will be over and Sieun will be back. And the last thing Sumin wants is for Sieun to find her awake. She doesn't have the heart or the strength to explain herself right now. And unfortunately for her nor the beautiful night view of Seoul nor the wine would make her feel better so she quickly lays down on her own side of the bed as she hugs herself to sleep. But it's hard. Sleep is hard and she hates how much her chest aches and how much her eyes sting with tears she doesn't allow herself to shed. She hasn't cried much for Sieun ever since the girl has returned back to her life. She's only done that once and that was the very first time they made love. Even when they fight as a couple they're quick to make up again so Sumin hasn't really cried. At least not this much. And now even the most serious fights she had with Sieun before look so small and harmless compared to what she's going through right now.

The pain is too much to bare and Sumin ends up burying her head in her knees, forming her body frame in a ball as she finally allows her weak self to cry, and cry again and again until she gets too tired and there are no more tears left within her. There's nothing but a numb mess left on the one side of the bed and Sumin ends up falling asleep by how tired she is, the pain never actually leaving.

Her sleep isn't a deep one though and the moment Sieun returns Sumin wakes up. Not because of the noise but because of Sieun's hold onto her waste that now burn like it has never had before. Sumin is too weak to push it away, but she somehow does because the more she lets it there, the more her body burns and aches, screaming at her to push it away in order to feel better.

"I'm hot." She responds in her sleep a lame reply to excuse her abrupt push of Sieun's hand and Sieun lets her be though she's not dumb.

"Are you mad because I didn't tell you about the meeting? Sumin I-"

"I'm sleeping Sieun!" Sumin replies instead, refusing to turn to look at Sieun or talk about this topic at all. Sieun sighs heavily and lets her be.

*

It seems like it can't be worse but it only keeps on getting worse. The two ended up talking about that night the following morning because Sieun always wants to talk about their problems no matter how much Sumin avoids them. Sumin pretended to be mad that Sieun hasn't told her and so she forgave her easily because she truth to be told she wasn't even mad at her for that in the first place. She could understand her perfectly and totally didn't mind that she hasn't told her. Sumin never told Sieun how she truly felt that night though because how can you explain to a rich person how poor, weak and small you feel? And will they ever understand even if you do? Sieun is a nice person and hates her dad's greediness and money but after all she's been born in a villa, has grown up with all the amenities and has lived an easy life so how could she ever understand Sumin's feelings no matter how much they both try?

Sumin keeps her weakness for herself and tries hard to bury it deep down as she doesn't want this to be the poison in their relationship. She really tries hard to ignore it and enjoy her relationship with Sieun because after all, after that night, Sieun has been like how she's always been around her and around their friends. The easygoing girl that loves teasing Sumin back. There were no signs of the rich cold girl Sumin saw that night soshe tried lying to herself that that night she has seen somebody else in order to forget it and move on. It has almost worked until...

...until Sieun announced to her that they were going to visit her family for Christmas.

"WE WHAT!?"

"I know. I'm not that happy to visit them either. It's all about business alright? I need to meet my dad and the relatives now in order to settle a few things down and then I'll finally be free. As I've explained to you I only claimed my part of the company in order for my dad to stop ruling it by himself. I'm not going to work as a boss of that company that has never been my dream.I just need to do this. It's a part of the whole process of making my new position official. I need to tell all of my relatives, also need to settle a few things about the company with my dad and uncles and then again... I also want to introduce you as my official girlfriend. My parents already know as for the rest... they won't ever support us but they don't care either anyway. And I don't care about them either. I just want to make us official. Mostly to my parents who don't believe in us. Please Sumin, do this for me." Sieun pleads with her girlfriend as she holds her from both of her hands. Sumin immediately takes her hands away furiously saying,

"I can't DO that! You can ask me anything you want but not that!"

"Why not? You've... you've never expressed such difficulty in meeting my parents as my girlfriend before. You've already met them before anyway. What changes now?"

"Your dad has threatened me to break up with you, Sieun! I can't just show up now!" Sumin finally lets out, sighing heavily, realizing that she's said something she shouldn't have.

"He what?"

"Nothing."

"No Sumin, this isn't nothing. This is serious. Why haven't you said anything about it?"

"What could I say? "Hey love! Your dad showed up in my cafeteria this morning threatening me that if I don't break up with you he's going to pressure you to work for him!" Do you even say these things? Should I have googled it to know how to do it?" Sumin says sarcastically.

"Sumin!" Sieun growls, not liking her sarcasm.

"I'm sorry. But this is how things are. And it's not like I don't want to make him mad by showing up and showing him that I haven't heard a thing he told me. It's mostly how I feel about this. And I don't want to see a man who doesn't approve of us even if that man is your father! I'm sorry!" Sumin lets out, even feeling guilty for not being on good terms with the girl's family though it's not her fault as they've never given her a chance in the first place anyway. Sieun never blamed her for it either as she could totally understand her and after all not even she herself is on good terms with her family. They're going to stay there for a couple of days but that's all fake to Sieun and it's the very first time it feels way too fake even for her to handle it.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry my father is making you go through this. I'm sorry." Sieun apologizes on his behalf and hugs Sumin tightly, actually feeling in pain for her girlfriend. Sumin sighs heavily.

"I know I'm good to end up following you on this stupid trip even if it's going to be my own hell because I simply can't say no to you just... just don't forget about me while we're there. How I feel about this whole thing, alright?" Sumin says softly, giving up already. Sieun nods her head slowly saying,

"We don't have to do this if you can't. Or you don't have to come. I just wanted to introduce you to them all because no one supports us. I want to rub you on their faces. I want to be a little selfish and show you off, is that ok?" Sumin smiles as she pulls back and looks at Sieun deep in her eyes.

"It's more than ok."

"I especially want to rub you on my dad's face after knowing that he threaten you to break up with me. Like show up in there and say, "hi dad this my girlfriend Sumin! The one you badly want to kick out of my life!" And hold you hand and kiss you and..." Sumin chuckles.

"That gives me strength."

"That's good. Because you need to brace yourself. My parents are the worst."

"Well, if I remember from the little I've met them back then, yeah they were the worst." Sumim says, agreeing to Sieun's words. Sieun pouts saying,

"I wish we could spend Christmas with your mom instead. She feels more like a mom than my actual mom ever did." Sumin smiles softly and tugs a loose strand of Sieun's orange hair behind her ear.

"She feels the same way, just so you know." Sumin says and hugs Sieun, wanting her to know that Sumin's family is hers too and she doesn't have to feel sad or sulky about her ty family. She pulls back and kisses Sieun on the lips, wanting to comfort her and Sieun kisses her back, her hands hugging her on her shoulders and deepening the kiss.

Sumin hopes this kiss, the hugs and the comforting words are enough for her to stay strong in the tough journey that's going to follow...

*

9 days to Christmas

Easier said than done is visiting Sieun's parents though because the moment Sumin's car reached the villa she already felt like she was entering a war zone. The bodyguards stopped her in front of the main doors to ask for her identity —part of the whole check up the bodyguards had to do for the Park family's safety even though they were obviously informed for Sumin and Sieun's arrival. For a second Sieun hesitated, thinking that maybe her parents don't even want her in the house now that she's dating Sumin.

Sumin drums her fingers nervously on the steering wheel as she rolls down the window, gulping hard as it's her first time she's actually good through this check up in order to be accepted in the Parks house. Back when she was a kid Sieun has made it way easier to enter her house the few times she's gone over