From gray emotionless empty days filled with work, work, work, work again, work, work, work and... well work —and loneliness for sure— Sumin's days have now turned into beautiful, colorful days filled with emotions and memories with Sieun. Everyday is a new journey to the unknown as new things await for them. Well, they don't always have way too eventful days. For sure there are days filled with work and college and nothing else, but Sumin feels way happier returning back to Sieun and talking with her, having dinner with her and sometimes sleeping with her than returning home and sleeping her tiredness off by herself like how she used to.

Then again, there are bad days too. Days wherein Sumin would get home too tired and moody from work, having the worst day of her life and even if Sieun was already at the apartment waiting for her with a hug it wouldn't make Sumin's depression go away. It surely helped a lot though. Some other times she would burst on Sieun and they would fight, but they made up immediately and after all Sieun would always understand her because she would lash out on her too whenever she would be too pressured with college homework. It has been a rule they've settled in order for their relationship to be healthy. To never again lash out on each other as they've seen that it was only hurting them both. So they tried their best to follow that rule. Instead, when things would go down the drain they would just tell each other that it was a bad day, it was something they didn't want to talk about, they were stressed and needed time for themselves and they both understood by that immediately that they had to leave the other alone, to calm down, take her time and then when she was ready she would come talk to the other herself.

On their third week of dating, on a tiring much hated Monday morning Sumin woke up just a little brighter than every other decent human being on earth, not fully hating the fact that it's Monday for one and only reason.

It's her birthday.

That's correct. It's her birthday and Sumin has been looking forward to it ever since she got together with Sieun. It's been the very first time she's been waiting for her birthday this eagerly.

The previous years she used to spend her birthday trying to have as much fun as possible. Of course as the workaholic Sumin that she used to be she didn't allow herself to miss out on work so she would only throw a party for herself once she would close the cafeteria at the end of the day. Sometimes with her friends and only, some other times with everyone around the cafeteria even if it wasn't a Friday night. Those birthdays were fun, sure, but they were without Sueun and Sumin would be left alone by the end of the day, unpacking all of her gifts and realizing that one is missing, one from a specific person, one that would never come...

It was always sorrow at the end of the day. There was nothing left but Sumin by herself along with her depressed and heartbroken heart. She would realize once again that she was growing older by one year, that another year would pass by without Sieun, that Sieun was missing out again on another important part of her life...

So this year Sumin has been beyond excited to finally spend her birthday with Sieun, not just as Sieun though but as her girlfriend, something her teenage self always wanted, dreamt off but couldn't even imagine properly how it would feel.

She stretches her arms upwards, yawning in the process before she rolls over to Sieun's sleepy side and hugs the girl, her right arm hugging Sieun's waist.

"Good morning love~" She says softly before she places a kiss on Sieun's cheek. The sleepy girl hums a little in her sleep before she blinks slowly and is met with an equally sleepy Sumin —Sumin's bare face and genuinely happy grin actually.

"Good morning to you too." She replies, hugging Sumin's back and planting a kiss on the girl's lips.

"You're up early." She adds as she moves back and tugs some of Sumin's messed up strands of her silver hair behind her ear.

"Yeah I have to go to work. You can sleep more though. If I remember correctly you don't have classes this morning."

"That's correct. But I still need to pass by and leave the essay from the group project we've finished the other day, remember?" Sumin nods her head with pursed lips. They stare at each other for a while, in silence before Sumin pouts, not being able to pretend anymore. She was thinking of leaving Sieun in the dark until Sieun would remember and wish her happy birthday by herself but she doesn't think she can handle waiting for too long.

"Ya! How could you forget huh?" She grumbles as she pinches Sieun's side and frowns.

"Ouch! Forget what?" Sieun asks, pretending to be clueless.

Sumin pouts before she ends up smiling like a shy fool saying,

"It's my birthday today." Sieun smiles at that.

"You thought I forgot?" Sumin looks at her confused and frowns again.

"Well you haven't wished me yet so..."

"I was actually waiting for the right time. Like once I give you my gift or something."

"So you've bought me a gift?" Sumin asks, eyes lighting up. Sieun hums in response.

"When can I have it?"

"Aren't you a little too eager?" Sumin pouts.

"For now you can have all my morning kisses as a birthday gift."

"Ey! That's such a cheap gift coming from you!" Sumin teases. Sieun glares at her and Sumin immediately apologizes as she realizes that her joke was kind of bad as it also referred to Sieun's wealthy background that none of the two liked talking about.

"Then no morning kisses." Sieun replies and is about to turn around when Sumin pulls her closer.

"I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven. Happy birthday, Sumin ah." Sieun says softly, actually meaning it as she leans in and kisses Sumin's whole face, from forehead to nose to cheeks to lips making Sumin blush madly at the very end, totally satisfied with her morning gift.

Her morning has surely started way better than she's ever expected.

*

"Gosh you guys can be way too disgustingly cute! I'm jealous, unnie!" Jayun says at Sumin and Sieun at first before she turns to pout at her girlfriend who giggles and pats her head softly. Jayun frowns, having expected Seeun to back hug her exactly like how Sieun is doing to Sumin but Seeun doesn't. Sumin smiles shyly to herself, totally enjoying the moment.

Deep down she's always been jealous of her friends and their girlfriends because whenever they would hang out as a group they would all get lovey dovey as some point and she would be left alone feeling extremely awkward and lonely. She always wanted that comfort, warmth and comfortableness that a couple could have even around their friends, just casually hugging or cuddling while they were out with their friends. She always longed for that and missed Sieun even more.

So right now she can't say she feels sorry for Jayun's pout or grumbling as she's longed for Sieun's comfort way too long.

Sumin is supposed to be serving them dinner but Sieun has gotten extra clingy and has been back hugging her for a while which has ended up with Sumin smiling shyly like a fool and letting her do whatever she wanted, enjoying the feeling of being hugged by Sieun along with the sensation of the girl's warm body and skin on hers.

"You're very comfortable with Sieun touching you unnie. I'm proud of you." Chaeyoung points out and Yeeun hums in agreement, also having noticed how much more relaxed Sumin seems unlike the Sumin from a few weeks ago who has been totally nervous to even hold Sieun's hand on their very first date. Sumin smiles even more shyly but has to agree with their words.

"Do you remember the very first time you actually let Sieun unnie hold your hand? Or you held hers?" Chaeyoung asks Sumin then as they're all now sitting around the kitchen table, waiting for Sumin's response. Even Sieun has now sat down next to Sumin and looks at her with those caramel brown round eyes of hers, love and care written all over her face as she also wants to hear this story from Sumin's side even if she already knows that story herself.

Sumin purses her lips and fidgets with her fingers before she slowly shakes her head, avoiding to look at the girls or specifically at an orange haired girl beside her.

"No. It was long ago, I'm sorry." She lies and everyone can see through it.

"Ey! Don't lie!" Jayun disagrees with her statement immediately.

"It's the truth. I don't!"

"You don't?" Sieun asks her slowly, round eyes widening and looking at her like a sad puppy being shot right through its heart. Sumin bites her lips and quickly looks away shaking her head as she grumbles saying,

"Ani... it's just... it's nothing. It's embarrassing talking about this in front of you anyway!" She says as she points at their friends. True, it's indeed awkward talking about Soeun in front of Sieun and to her friends that would , mock her in every chance they would get or just act all cute and amazed by her story as if she's some cute character coming out alive right from a drama or something.

"It surely wasn't nothing for me." Sieun says and Sumin's head shoots up, turning to look at her immediately, eyes wide as she can't believe what she just heard. She almost thought for a second there that Sieun wouldn't remember it because who would right? It was ages ago and it was minor and insignificant, a hold of their hands for a brief second.

"I... uh... well... it meant a lot to me too. But I knew I had to stop myself before I would lose control of my feelings and actions." Sumin mumbles as she lowers her head again. She lets out a heavy sigh before she raised her head to look at her friends who look at them with expectant eyes, not being able to hide their eagerness of wanting to know their story so badly.

How could she ever forget the very first time she held Sieun's hand? How could she forget the sparkles being spread all over her body or the warmth in her heart, how rapidly it shook or how nervous and sweaty her hands got. Or how uneven her breathing got, how the mere touch could awaken the deepest secrets and needs and feelings within Sumin that she's been battling for so long to keep under control. How could she ever forget the very first moment that made her feel so much more alive but hurt her so much more too? How could she ever forget the very first time she got her hopes up only to be crumbled by her rational part later on once she was left alone with her thoughts.

She has to explain a few things first before she starts narrating her story, in which now she knows meant the same thing for Sieun too, unlike how Sumin thought back then. She has to explain herself and her defensive mode as well as her overprotection upon herself back then not just to her friends but also to Sieun most importantly because she wants and needs the girl to understand her.

"I thought you were straight, Sieun. I thought it was one sided. So even if at first loving you would make me all giddy inside, I had to control myself because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. At first it was under control until... until it wasn't." Sumin hesitates before she finally lets it out, lowering her head in embarrassment.

"It started during the third year. I..." Sumin takes another deep breath, her hands clenching onto her knees before she finally lets it out with a light squeal of guilt.

"I was only a teenager high on hormones with too much unrequited love within me." She lowers her head even more and waits for the judgemental looks and remarks but none come. Instead Jayun exclaims surprised,

"You were ing thinking if Sieun unnie!?" Sumin raises her head looking at Jayun shocked, her lips parting as she tries to find the right words to say before she lets out a yelp totally denying it.

"No! Of course not, what are you talking about! Oh my goodness I could never!" Seeun looks at her suspiciously but by the shocked expressions on Sumin's face everyone can tell she's actually stating the truth.

"I was just... really sensitive to her touch. Well I mean I never handled skinship that well. It always made me feel awkward. I guess I was never that kind of person to begin with. Nothing much has happened to make me like this though. Not some childhood trauma or anything. I just never liked it. Even when mom would get me to school as a kid, would hug me tightly and kiss me cheek I always grumbled at her even as a little one. Then again, I was also the one hugging her tightly and crying on her shoulder whenever I wouldn't get a good grade on tests. But it was always with my family and overall people very close to me. The rest look a little like a threat or overall it seemed unnecessary in my head to have whatever kind of skinship with these people. Like is it that necessary to hug your friend? Can't you be friends without hugging or holding hands? Back then that's what I used to think. Until I realized that hugging a friend felt very comforting and would make the friendship stronger. No it's not necessary to hug your friend, but it's surely way better when you do than when you don't." Sumin explains her perspective and how things used to be for her all those years or how things had been when Sieun came around and the first skinship started.

"It's not like that anymore. I think... the trust I have on Sieun helps my nerves calm down whenever she holds my hand or hugs me. I can't promise for any other kind of touch as I've already mentioned I'm sensitive to her touch. I was and still am and I believe I will always be." Sumin says, smiling shyly as she looks at Sieun and holds her hand. Sieun smiles back.

"That explains a lot." Sieun says and kisses Sumin's hand, making Sumin smile even more.

"The first time I held her hand was in our second year of high school. We haven't had any kind of skinship in the first year because our friendship was just building up I guess. I've just realized I liked her a month or so earlier and at first it was ok just hanging out with her and being around her. Until that afternoon in my bedroom came..."

Sumin says with a nostalgic smile as the events from back then unfold right before her eyes and she starts narrating her story to her friends.

"You're such an idiot!" Sieun exclaims to Sumin as the two enter her house, giggling softly. Sumin takes off her shoes as she turns around and closes the door behind, after Soeun has followed her inside that is.

"For turning down his offer for a date? Nah I'm not. I have better things to do."

"Like? Sleep for the rest of the day in your room? Come on! You could be outside having fun! He didn't seem that bad!"

"Trust me, when I say I have better things to do I mean it."

"Which are?"

"Hanging out with you, for example. I would never exchange my best friend with any random guy out there." Sieun laughs and shakes her head as the two walk up to Sumin's bedroom. Sumin hasn't been fully out to Sieun yet, and she wasn't planning to be that afternoon that is. With Sieun talking so much about guys it felt just way too wrong to confess that she's not even into them. Maybe she would even freak out Sieun completely. No. It had to be the right moment.

"Oh please. The next moment you'll find an interesting guy, you will turn your back on me. You're that type."

"That sounded rude, you know. Do you think of me and my efforts on this friendship that lowly?" Sumin says in half a joke but it surely hurts like hell. Her teasing with Sieun does that. It's always half joking but it always hurts too.

"Yep. Now I wonder what better things you want to do with me than hanging out with him instead."

"I thought of watching a movie with you. Your pick this time. I picked the last time." Sieun hums in response with a bright smile on her lips as she lays down on Sumin's bed. Sumin takes her laptop along with her and sits back down on her bed right next to Sieun, settling down the movie, deciding that talking more about how Sieun's previous statement has hurt her won't do any good. She decides to leave it aside like how she always does.

Sieun indeed picks a movie. One Sumin can't remember the title right now but she can surely remember that it was a romantic one, that the main couple ended up together at the end and that the male protagonist was one of all those classical male characters that are way too perfect to be true, too handsome to be true, always fulfill whatever the female protagonist has in mind or wants as if they read her mind and feelings and overall way too dream like to ever be true. Classical male characters that can only exist in movies and make every woman watching the movie wanting such a man in real life too but never having one. Sumin knows that too well and so she would never get attracted to those male characters —no matter her uality that is. The point is, how could she ever make Sieun see that too and stop sighing longingly as if that male character could ever jump off the laptop's screen and come out alive.

She's tried explaining that before to Sieun but she would never listen, stating that there could be better people out there —definitely not exactly like in the movies, but close enough. She also claimed that she liked daydreaming at times or at least hoping or enjoying the movie and the perfect characters even if they could never be true. It wouldn't hurt thinking about them or dreaming about them every once in a while.

"Do you think we could ever find someone like him?" Sieun asks Sumin when the credits roll down the laptop's screen, turning to look at her and referring to the male lead.

"You know my opinion on virtual guys." Sumin replies deadpan. She swears she's even almost jealous of him as he's too perfect and steals Sieun's whole attention. He's not even real and can never be real, she should just accept it and stop acting like a lovestruck fool sighing all the time about him, it's annoying! Or so Sumin thinks.

"Alright. Then someone not as perfect as him. Just a guy that could make us happy I guess, would love us and take care of us." Sumin looks at Sieun for a while, her heart aching in pain. Sieun looks way too beautiful, staring back at her with those caramel brown eyes that Sumin has realized they've been her weakness lately. Sumin's heart melts and aches at the same time and she doesn't know if she should cry or smile in glee. She ends up forming a bittersweet smile, her hand slowly reaching out to hold Sieun's because for a couple of seconds she wants to be selfish and feel Sieun as hers.

The sensation of soft warm skin underneath hers is too much for Sumin though as she feels her own skin burning up, way too much for her to handle. Her senses wakening and her nervousness striking so hard and she's pretty sure for a second there that she's been electrified with an electric shock. She pulls her hand away immediately saying,

"You will surely find one. You're a very sweet person there's no possibility no one could ever not love you or take care of you." She says in a rush, feeling her hand still burning and shivering and she's pretty sure the sensation won't go away any time soon. She doesn't say anything about herself because she knows very well that she's found her person, and that person unfortunately couldn't do or feel the things Sieun has described them to. Because Sieun couldn't love her back...

"Should we watch one more movie? We have no school tomorrow so we could use that free time we have to our advantage." Sumin adds quickly, wanting to change the topic as soon as possible. She still feels way too nervous, her hand still burns and shivers and she can still feel Sieun's intense gaze on her that makes her stomach tighten too much. Was it too much? Should she not hold Sieun's hand? Was she crossing the line? Maybe she had... maybe it was a mistake... she surely promises to herself to never do it again especially for herself and her well being because right now she's surely having a hard time calming down her nerves and panicked heart.

"Yeah. Yeah sure." Sieun replies shortly and firmly, her tone sounding a forced one as she also forces a smile but soon relaxes as the next movie starts playing. Sumin on the other hand doesn't relax at all, not even when it's late at night and Sieun is fast asleep beside her...

"I'm sorry for what I've said back then. My humor was harsh, I admit it. But I just couldn't believe you were ditching that guy to hang out with me instead. It was too much for my heart to handle." Sieun confesses once Sumin finishes narrating her story.

Sumin looks at Sieun slowly, finally seeing through her point of view and realizing that back then Sieun was only being defensive because she was also trying to protect herself and not get hurt any further. Sieun liked her.

"I also didn't know you liked girls back then. You could have said something!" Sieun speaks up again.

"I thought it would be the worst timing to say that. You were insisting very much on going out with that guy that I don't even remember how he looked like or what was his name, that if I ended up bursting out saying that I liked girls instead and wasn't even interested in him I thought that you would be so shocked and confused. I was afraid." Sumin explains her perspective once again. Sieun slowly nods her head.