4 days before Christmas

Sumin hasn't seen Sieun ever since that night she returned drunk home with the help of Ryujin. The following morning when she woke up, Sieun was already gone and it took a lot of courage and hours of pretending to be indifferent as well as lots of skills to make it sound casual to finally ask her mom about Sieun. Of course her mother knows her too well so no matter Sumin's tries and effort her mother knew she cared anyway. She tells her nonetheless that Sieun has a few things to settle down before Christmas and also wanted to leave Sumin alone to take her time.

And so, that was the last time Sumin saw her.

They haven't texted ever since. Haven't called each other. Haven't seen each other around the neighborhood. Nothing at all. Sumin has been trying to keep herself busy with work, avoiding to ever think of that topic or ever approach it somehow with someone. She tries lying to herself that she's used to Sieun's absence from all those years so the couple of days, though hard, they pass by with Sumin mostly working herself out and tiring herself out with work... work... and work again...

Tonight she has to attend a Christmas event Sieun's company is organizing. She feels extremely anxious about it and has tried to reject the offer plenty of times telling her friends,

"I'm not into that stuff, why should I go?"

"I'm not even a person of their caste, how can I even go?"

"I'm not even invited personally, why do I have to go?"

To which her friends would reply with,

"You're Sieun's girlfriend and you're invited personally by her even if she couldn't reach you. She told us so. And that ty thing about castes is so stupid. She's even invited us too."

Then Sumin would reply,

"Her parents don't want me there." To which her friends would reply with,

"Her parents don't want us there either. But we're not going to go for them. We're going for Sieun who wants us all there. She wants you there too. And it's the perfect opportunity to show them that you're still her girlfriend and their words don't affect you, unnie. You have to be there to prove them wrong. They don't have to know what your relationship with Sieun is facing right now. You can pretend. You have to keep this between you two or else if they realize their hate towards you worked and made you two fight they will be thrilled and actually believe that they've been right from the start of not approving of you!"

So here is Sumin. Having to attend that event even if she feels at her lowest, even if she's not in the mood, even if she doesn't want to see Sieun and it's actually the last thing she ever wanted to these days, moreover to see her parents and all those random rich people or Sieun's relatives. She has to go even if after having fought with Sieun she's been feeling homesick and depressed and suddenly these Christmas holidays have been making her feel way more depressed and lonely than she used to feel overall. Suddenly she's not looking forward to spending Christmas alone and she's surely not looking forward to this stupid Christmas event that's going to be all fake for the sake of showing off and proving Sieun's parents wrong even though in reality they're kind of right and their venom and tricks have actually worked and made the couple distant themselves from each other...

Her anxiety is beyond any human mind's understandable extent and at this point she's pretty sure it's pretty obvious she's shaking. She's trying her hardest not to show it but it's pretty hard to control her shaking hands or wobbly legs. Her heart is racing like as if she's run a mile or something of the sort, her breath is uneven and her palms keep sweating no matter how much she's rubbing them on her pants, trying to keep them cool and dry.

Fortunately for her she's dressed in a black elegant suit and pants, complimenting her small frame perfectly and giving her a more sophisticated look which boosts up the little confidence left within her —which is very close to the zero base at this point... Another part of her outfit that she's confident about is the fact that it's expensive and that because Jayun insisted on buying her an expensive suit saying,

"You can't show up there wearing your casual working attire, you get me right?"

Point is that her friends were determined and enthusiastic about making her look more than just presentable way more than she herself ever wanted to. They wanted to make Sieun's family shut up for once about judging Sumin and her basic, humble and common economical family background as well as make Sieun's and everyone else's in that room jaws drop on the floor —if not bellow it as Chaeyoung has confidently said.

"Sieun will be looking flawless and like a goddess in that room, having everyone flirting with her, you can't show up there wearing these!" Chaeyoung has even scolded her when Sumin has shown her one of her outfits that she's chosen before she's argued saying,

"I don't even want to go there, why do I have to pick an outfit!?"

Another thing that makes Sumin feel a little less nervous and shaky is the fact that she's attending this event with her friends and they're going to be around her most of the time since they also don't know anyone in that event except for Sieun and aren't even interested in that event to begin with. They're going only for Sumin's sake because they want her to show off Sieun's parents and make them shut up for once and stop judging her and doubting her value as a person but as Sieun's girlfriend too.

So here she is, having entered the huge building of Sieun's family business for once feeling glad that she's on the list, wondering deep down just how much Sieun must have fought with her parents for her to be added in that list. She's trying her hardest not to shake too much as she and her friends walk down the hallway, enter the elevator and head towards the conference room on the first floor wherein it's been altered according to the event's needs, offering every kind of amenities for the people attending it.

Seeun said that she feels as uncomfortable as Sumin must be feeling being inside such a huge rich building and walking around rich people while being such an ordinary person herself. She actually jokes, in the elevator, saying that she's only attending that event for the buffet, specifically saying,

"I mean, you don't get to eat all these expensive snacks or drinks on a daily basis right? Actually I don't think I can afford them, not even on a special occasion!"

They slowly enter the huge conference room with Sumin basically shaking and almost chickening out as she stumbles on her feet, turns around and almost attempts to run away if it wasn't for her friends to hold her still and drag her along with them slowly —so it would look like they're just clinging onto her arm instead of dragging her or else it would be embarrassing for both Sumin and the girls— as they finally enter the room.

Fortunately for Sumin she realizes she's not the only one feeling uncomfortable, feeling like the time has actually slowed down, that the air got chilly suddenly, that everyone's judging eyes are on them. She's pretty sure she can feel her friends getting as nervous as she can tell by their slower steps and heavy breathing as well as the less loud chatting. Her eyes can't spot Sieun or Sieun's parents but she's not even sure if she actually wants to see either of them right now. She prefers seeing foreign faces that she's not going to see ever again because it feels more comforting that even if they judge her, they're not going to see her ever again and vice versa.

Even if her friends have dragged her here and planned this whole mess, and even if she's extremely nervous, she remains having the leadership within her so she leads them towards the buffet, deciding that a drink to loosen up would be the best choice as of now. They can also stick close to the buffet which is close to the corner of the room for a while since the corner of the room feels less attractive to attention and human eyes and then after a few hours they can finally leave even if that means that they might not see Sieun at all. Sumin doesn't mind. If anything she wants to leave that conference room right before even entering it. She hates doing things for social status, wearing fake facades and pretending to be kind and nice to people she barely knows. These things have never been her style so she really doesn't get how she even allowed her friends to drag her here.

That's the freaking plan. That has always been the plan. They get their drinks, they don't even have to talk much to the barista guy, they stand beside the buffet and drink their drinks quietly without harming anybody or talking to anybody. No unwanted attention, no judging eyes for too long, no loudness, no nothing.

Until the plan is ruined because Sumin should have seen it coming and should have known because it's she, herself, her friends and Sieun we're talking about. The plan would never go perfect with these people being included. Never in any wildest dream in any wild universe.

Her friends got busy chatting, and almost forgetting the place and situation they're in, Seeun got busy eating the snacks, exclaiming how good they are and how they will never get the chance to eat something like that again. And while Sumin is getting annoyed at her friends for not acting normal for once, her fists clenched to her sides, almost walking out of the room and leaving them back there alone for good, a very familiar orange haired figure walks towards them.

There she is, Sieun in all her glory. Sumin realizes how right her friends were all this time only now that she gets to see Sieun. She's dressed in a black suit, wearing a dark purple silky shirt and black high heels. Her long orange hair falling in waves on her shoulders. All eyes are on her, on her every move, on her outfit, on her face... looking out for her because she's the Parks' daughter and because she's as flawless as they are. Everyone wants her for her prettiness, money and fame. Everyone except Sumin... that is...

Well Sumin wants her too, but not for those reasons that's for sure.

Sieun walks slowly towards them, her steps slow but steady, confident and determined, her heels making a soft clicking sound that only Sumin's ears can hear as the music in the room along with the fuss of all the chatting around her fades away. Time seems to slow down too, annoying Sumin just a little more as it seems, to her, that it's only them alone at this moment. Sieun stares at her back before she finally reaches their spot. She parts her lips and Sumin stares at her as she does, her eyes landing on the girl's soft, heart shaped pink, plump lips for a little longer than she should have, regretting her whole life's choices the moment her eyes land back on Sieun, seeing the confidence in the girl's eyes boosting up even more just by noticing Sumin's stare on her lips.

"Hello girls. You really came!" She greets her friends who finally notice her presence and greet her back with light hugs, not wanting to seem too casual in such a special event, surrounded by all these people that belonged in a way upper caste than theirs.

"Of course we did! We could never miss out on free food!" Seeun jokes and the girls chuckle. Sumin doesn't greet Sieun. She doesn't even walk close to her, hug her like the rest or wave at her. If anything her eyes land on her drink as she pretends to be busy by herself, even if that's way too awkward.

"I didn't believe you would come too." Sieun says, this time talking to Sumin even if the girl doesn't look back at her.

"I didn't think so myself." She replies honestly though her tone is a sarcastic one.

"Then, it's good that you came. I really wanted you here." Sieun also confesses, her eyes never leaving Sumin's, making the girl's body heat up and heart race twice faster than its normal pace.

"So what changed your mind?"

"I was basically dragged in here." Sumin confesses honestly once again, never minding to hide the truth and make her friends look less pathetic than she herself does right now. Jayun chuckles awkwardly, trying immediately to save the situation because Sumin is totally not handling it well by herself.

"Hehe, she's so funny, isn't she? She meant that she really wanted to see you too!"

"No I didn't mean that." Sumin denies.

"Of course you did." Jayun glares at her with an awkward smile.

"Uhm, it's ok. All that matters is that she's here, Jayun." Sieun says, not wanting her friends to start arguing right here right now.

"Don't be too happy about it. I'm not planning to stay for long." Sumin replies with sarcasm again. Sieun parts her lips about to say something but Sumin is faster than her saying,

"I'm even surprised I'm on the list this time, actually. How did that happen?" And chuckles bitterly.

"I'm a boss in this company too so they wouldn't dare make a mistake and not include you in the list even if they got orders from my parents for that too." Sieun says. Sumin bites her own lips and sighs heavily, suddenly feeling the atmosphere getting dense and thick and she starts thinking that she badly needs some fresh air or some space to smoke and get lost in her own thoughts. Sieun wouldn't dare to follow her if she heard Sumin would be out for a smoke anyway because she hates smoking so Sumin would be left alone for good. She hates Sieun's autarkic tone. She hates how the girl is starting to look more like her parents now that she's a boss too. The Sieun she always knew would never be like that and would never care about what her parents do in their company. She used to hate it with all her being and didn't want to be associated with it. Sumin swears she can't recognize the Sieun standing in front of her.

Which makes her feel suffocated.

She needs air.

Air.

"Remind me once again, how did your parents allow you to talk to me?" Sumin says but doesn't expect an answer. She takes a new drink, deciding that one isn't enough for her before she taps Chaeyoung on her shoulder announcing,

"I'll be out for a smoke." Her eyes having already spotted a lot of balconies around this room and a lot of people smoking out there too so she doesn't think there will be any problem if she joins them too.

The girls don't try to stop her because they understand that she needs her space as this is truly a very hard situation for her to deal with. She walks outside in a hurry and only allows herself to relax and take a deep breath in once she's standing at the corner of one of the many balconies, further away from people, all by herself. Her arms rest on the railings as she gets to relax her shaky frame and nerves only once she's finally inhaling her cigarette. She looks up at the night, at the stars, her eyes not being able to spot the moon in the sky.

She takes in a deep breath and exhales a huge smoke of her cigarette, sighing heavily and lowering her head, looking at her hands and feeling so vulnerable that she doesn't blame herself when she feels her eyes getting stingy and watery, filled with tears. She tries her hardest to push them back though, hating how pressured she feels but knowing very well that she really can't break down into tears in such a place.

Sieun's parents have changed Sieun. And that's what's hurting Sumin the most.

"Hey stranger." Jaehyuk greets Sumin as he walks towards her, having also a cigarette in his mouth, smirking like a know-it-all idiot. Sumin isn't surprised to see him because his father and Sieun's father are very close and her parents used to want Sieun to marry him. So if anyone had to be in that event that had to be Jaehyuk for sure. She hates how he will never get out of her sight and how he and Sieun will always be close whether she likes it or not. It's the circumstances and the fact that they're acquaintances that will always have them together in one place and Sumin can't change that no matter how jealous she is or how much she hates that guy. She's not like her teenage self back in high school though, who had wondered why Jaehyuk would be by her side instead of Sieun's. She can now tell that he's here to up her mood with some of his ty news that he will announce to her anytime soon.

"Since when are you smoking? You know Sieun doesn't like that right?" Sumin tells him instead, knowing that this guy is willing to do everything just to please Sieun and have her by his side. He smirks widely as he chuckles.

"Then why are you smoking? I'm not the one she's with. You are, idiot. Yet here you are making her annoyed again." Sumin shrugs her shoulders and shakes her head.

"Old habits die hard." Sumin simply says.

"Sure they do." He says and laughs.

"What's so funny?"

"You are." Sumin sighs heavily. This guy is surely here to annoy her.

"I seriously don't get why you're not in there with her but you're out here instead, looking so lonely and sulky."

"I believe it's none of your business and I don't look lonely and sulky. I just got out for a smoke and- seriously why am I even giving you an explanation!?" Sumin exclaims, annoyed. She's really pissed off and she badly wanted some space and time alone only for that to be ruined by Jaehyuk. If he stays here for one more second then she's for sure out of here, out of the event, out of the whole building.

He laughs but as he's about to reply a figure pushes him slightly further as she positions herself in between them, arms on the railings and hands immediately taking Sumin's cigarette from her lips. Sumin stares at Sieun in shock for a couple of seconds before her jaw drops when Sieun actually places the cigarette in her own lips instead.

"Give me that." She immediately says, not minding if people are watching them or if Jaehyuk is next to them. She's not going to let Sieun smoke for whatever stupid reason she's having or whatever she's thinking. She knows Sieun doesn't smoke and hates smoking and no one can change that. Sumin isn't going to allow anyone to change that about Sieun. If anything, she loves how healthy her girlfriend is about that and actually really wishes she, herself, will be able to quit smoking one day.

She tries taking the cigarette back only for Sieun to prevent her from doing so, hands blocking her way. Jaehyuk looks at them surprised before Sieun turns towards him saying,

"Can you give us some space please? You've harassed my girlfriend enough already." Sumin looks at Sieun, surprised at how Sieun talked to Jaehyuk, not understanding at all what's happening as these two used to be close anyway. She's even more surprised at how Jaehyuk actually listened to her and left without making a fuss about it.

"What are you doing?" Sumin asks her, not being able to keep her thoughts and questions to herself as she tries once again to take the cigarette only for Sieun to block her from doing so once again. She breathes in a good amount of the nicotine before she exhales a big amount of smoke, not even choking or gasping or looking inexperienced in that bad habit of Sumin's.

"I'm trying to understand you." Sieun replies.

"By taking my cigarette? You never smoke, Sieun!"

"I want to see what you feel when you smoke. Why you do it. How it feels. Or understand how ty you must feel in order for you to want to escape through that thing." Sieun explains, taking another inhale of the drug. Sumin is annoyed. The more she sees Sieun smoking the more her blood boils even though she gets Sieun's reasons. It feels wrong though and she really can't let her girlfriend ruin herself just to understand Sumin's ruined life.

"As ty as a common person dating you must be feeling." Sumin mumbles, tangling her fingers and resting them on the railings, sighing heavily.

"I'm not some deity, Sumin. I never was and I'll never be. If this whole thing is making you uncomfortable then I'm blowing it up. I don't want this either anyway. I just thought it would be nice to step up my game for once. But you're right. This isn't me at all and I've been feeling like hell the past few days." Sieun confesses and for a couple of seconds Sumin ammo believes her. For a couple of seconds she almost allows herself to lean her head and rest it on Sieun's shoulder. For a couple of seconds she almost closes her eyes and allows herself to cry.

Almost.

"Stop doing that." Sumin only mumbles, pointing at the cigarette.

"Let me finish it." Sieun says instead before she smirks slightly as memories flash in front of both of their eyes.

Sumin swears she loves parties. If anything , she's the wild party animal as people usually call her. She's invited in all parties even if some people barely know her because everyone knows she's the best when it comes to partying. She's hyping up everyone, she truly enjoys herself when it comes to partying and she truly knows how to do it better than everyone else so if you want a successful party, just invite Sumin.

She's been out of it for a couple of hours now. She's never fully drunk, but as a teenager her alcohol tolerance isn't as high as it's gotten later on. She's not completely tipsy though. Just high enough to be in the mood for games.

At some point she finds herself sitting on the couch of the guy who has thrown the party, surrounded by random other guys, smoking and drinking together. She's been out of it and has been playing stupid games with them, laughing like a maniac every now and then, enjoying the moment way too much. But parties have always been her thing. She always loved how she could lose herself, how much she enjoyed dancing between so many bodies collided onto her, she always loved the taste of smoke and alcohol in , she loves stupid drunk party games and doing silly things. She loved mingling with the people and becoming nobody or just being the center of the attention and being somebody while she dances crazily on the tables. She loves all that because it made her feel free and it made her forget her problems for once and enjoy the moment. It made her forget her unrequited love for Sieun and it made her forget how lonely, depressed and desperate she felt for that, how pathetic she was as well as hopeless.

She lights up another cigarette as she places it on her lips, chuckling at another joke Haechan has just told her beside her. Until a very familiar angry brunette shows up in front of her and for a few seconds Sumin thinks, in her drunk state, that Sieun looks way too hot whenever she's angry.