HARRYHAUSEN RESTAURANT

11:30 AM

Now, we’re both currently at the Harryhausen restaurant waiting for the members to come since they’re currently either exploring the festival or probably just busy cuddling with their special persons, if you know what I mean. If you’re asking what currently goes through our minds is now, the answer is just pure terrified and so beyond nervous that at this point, we want Thanos to snap his fingers at us.

SH: I’m scared, babe.

TF: Me too, oppa.

SH: I don’t even know what to say to you right now.

TF: Same, oppa. Same.

SH: You know what I need right now? A relaxing bubble bath with hot water.

TF: Alone?

SH: With you, of course. In this case, it’s going to be me who’s resting my head on your bare chest.

TF: (Blushes) P-ert.

SH: Oh, come on. Drop your innocent image and let the bad boy side take control.

TF: Stop it, please.

SH: Or what, babe? What are you going to do to me?

TF: I’ll make you sleep on the couch, oppa.                   

SH: You do realize that your bedroom doesn’t have any keys at all, right?

TF: Well, then my dad will kill you.

SH: What if your dad wasn’t home?

TF: Then, I’ll call him.

SH: What if I hid your phone, then what happens?

TF: I’ll use the home telephone then.

SH: What if the lights go out?

TF: You know what, oppa? I hate how you always use my own words against me.

SH: Hehe, you know I’m very good with words, right?

TF: There you go again. Always bragging about how you’re good with words just because you’re a rapper.

SH: Just in case you didn’t know, Mr. Choi. I’ve been writing lyrics and composing music since I came out of my mother’s .

TF: That’s ing TMI, man. I don’t need to know about that.

SH: Want me to cover your room with fish eye or not?

TF: Do that to me and I’ll tie you up to a rollercoaster and make you ride it for an eternity.

SH: What the ’s taking them so long anyway? I mean the ing restaurant’s literally next to the EPC entrance.

TF: Say that again and I’ll upload your embarrassing photo to your IG.

SH: It’s just that I’m very excited yet scared at the same time of their reactions.

TF: VIPs have been patiently waiting for your return, oppa. You’re doing even worse than them.

SH: Alright, fair enough.

TF: Good girl.

Suddenly, we heard the private suite door being opened which reveals none other than the Ice Princess herself. “Are you two done making out with each other? Because I stayed up all day for you, Seunghyun oppa” she said sarcastically to you. “You’re such a killjoy, Jess. You should’ve been proud that we’re the first Korean boy group to perform at Coachella” you said to her to which she just crossed her arms on her chest while rolling her eyes in annoyance. Typical Jessica Jung, everyone.

JS: Why are we here again?

SH: Because we got a big announcement coming up for all of you, Jess.

TF: And before you say a word, NO we’re not pregnant.

JS: I’m still not ready to be an auntie yet. So, thanks for telling me that your Bingu husband didn’t put anything inside of your womb.

SH: That’s because he respects my wishes, Jess. If you don’t respect your wife to not have a child right after marriage, then what’s the point of marrying her and sliding the engagement ring on her finger in the first place?

TF: Happy wife, happy child. Right, babe?

JS: Geez, bro. Can you please spare me of your stupid endearment terms to each other?

SH: Then, find someone already, bro. You’re ing 31 years old. I’m pretty sure your parents have already started nagging at you about the marriage topic.

TF: Their only wish in their lives is to see their beautiful firstborn walking down the aisle.

JS: (Sighs) You’re trying to make me cry or what?

SH: No, just stating the facts, man.

TF: Tiff’s right, Jess. Sooner or later, you’re going to have to find someone.

JS: Shut the up and wake me up when the others are here.

SH: Alright, you sloth. We’ll wake you up once the others are here.

TF: She’s always had low battery since she was born, huh?

“That’s the Ice Princess for you, hon. Whenever she’s out of her habitat, her energy levels always dropped down to 10%” I said to you because we’ve to keep our acting game or else we’ll get caught by her before we even got the chance to tell the rest of our members.

12:00 PM

It’s time for us to tell the members, but where the are they now? Jessica’s still hibernating in front of us. What the happened to the promise of being here at this time? We looked at each other and speak telepathically with our eyes before getting our phones out and calling the members. I decided to call Taeyeon while you call Jiyong.

TY: Hello?

SH: WHERE THE ARE YOU NOW?! GET YOUR ING OVER HERE! Even Jess is doing better than you.

TY: Jessica’s with you?

SH: Well, duh. Of course, she’s here. Now when the are you going to get here?

TY: Alright, alright. I’m on my way.

SH: Get the others also.

TY: Fine, but the announcement better be good.

SH: Just get your ing dwarf looking over here or I’ll post your funny face on my IG. I’m hanging up now.

After hanging up the phone with an angry huff, suddenly I felt someone pinching my sides which made me let out a yelp of pain and turn around my head to the left to reveal that it’s none other than you. “How dare you say that to my boo?” You glared at me. “Oh, I thought you were still on the phone with Jiyong?” I said with a mischievous smile.

SH: Don’t worry, babe. You’ve been calling her that ever since you first met her.

TF: I’ll let you go this time now, but next time you’re not going to be lucky.

SH: (Whispers) What’re you going to do? Punish me?

TF: Whatever.

Suddenly, the suite door was swung wide open to reveal 7 girls and 3 guys standing behind it. “Well, well, well. What do we have here?!” Jiyong shouts to us which made the Ice Princess who’s currently lying down on the couch jumped in terror and letting out her signature dolphin scream. “YAH! I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF HAVING A NICE DREAM, YOU STUPID DRAGON!!!!” She screamed at him which only made him just burst out laughing with his entire body but stopped immediately after the Dragon Girl slapped his back so hard that he literally screamed like a girl because of the sudden and stinging pain.

“Alright, hyung and Tiff. You better tell us what the ’s going on right now or we’ll sue you for misinformation” Jiyong said to us, so I took one look at you before standing up from the seat and clearing my throat. “Why don’t we fill our stomachs to the brim first before me and Seunghyun oppa tell you guys about the main reason why I told y’all to come here in the first place? Does that sound good to you, guys especially the Shikshin sisters?” I said to him which made him let out a sigh of disappointment before reluctantly saying “Fine, but you better keep your promise” which made my heartbeat slow down dramatically, although it’s still beating fast due to pure nervousness.

So basically, we spend 2 hours just eating, chatting, and laughing at each other’s stories or jokes. In summary, it’s your typical stuff that you’d expect from a family dinner. Even now, I still find myself not believing that two of South Korea’s biggest boy group and girl group went from having a senior-junior relationship to now completely evolving into a very close siblings in-law relationship because there’s currently two married couples and one recently engaged couple who literally breaks the internet with their stage proposal just about 4 or 5 hours ago.

Soon enough, everyone was finally feeling full and energized except for my little “sister” and the Deer/Alligator hybrid herself who somehow after having foods that could literally feed an entire football stadium audience during probably a World Cup match, they didn’t feel satisfied at all. Now I know why you hate them so much when they’re hungry or whenever they made eye contact with food. “Are you ready?” I whispered in your right ear to which you nodded at me. So, I grabbed the glass and spoon in front of me before gently tapping the glass with the spoon until it’s loud enough to break everyone’s concentration and made them turned their heads towards our direction.

SH: Well, you’re probably wondering why in the hell did we decided to get all 11 of you in this room on the place, right?

TF: That’s because what we’re about to tell you may sound like a complete bull, which it is. Hon, you want to go first?

SH: Before we begin, does any of you notice something off in our behavior these past 2 months or so?

TF: Just be honest, guys. Did I somehow behave abnormally or not?

“I honestly think that somehow, you’ve become more outgoing than usual, hyung. You’ve never been like that in the first place” Jiyong said to you which made us very impressed. “Ok, anyone else?” You asked them and true enough, Yoona was raising her hand. “I don’t know if it’s just me, but I think Tiff unnie has become more introverted than before” she said to us.

SH: Ok, I think that’s enough. Babe, you want to start?

TF: Where do we even start?

SH: When we got into the car, oppa?

TF: Oh, right.

And so, we ended up telling our groups the whole thing from the moment that ing tree collapsed right in front of our car which forced me to almost break the steering wheel before the car crashes into a guardrail and falling 100 feet into the cold freezing river below and when the lightning strikes both of our bodies which I’m pretty ing sure that’s the main reason for our condition to when we first open our eyes at the hospital and first learning about our condition, and also when I literally snapped at Taeyeon on the cliffside. About that cliffside story, I ended up telling them that because sooner or later, Taeyeon’s going to tell Jiyong about it, so we’ve no choice but to tell everyone first. By the time that you and I finished the story, the room basically went from being louder than Super Junior members themselves down to a long and uncomfortable silence. So silent that you could literally hear a single pin being dropped to the floor. It stayed like that for probably a good half an hour so, at least that’s what I thought until suddenly, Jessica stands up from seat before walking up to me and grabs my collar then slamming me against the wall.

“YOU ING ! HOW DARE YOU TRY TO KILL OUR LEADER?! I’M GONNA ING RIP YOUR HEART OUT!!!” She screamed right on my face as the other Girls’ Generation’s members tried so hard to pry her hands from my collar. After a while, she finally let go of me but not before giving me a final gift by slapping me square on the face.

SH: Well, we just got off to a bad start, didn’t we?

TF: (Sighs) Ok, anyone wants to punch the person who’s currently piloting my body? Be my guest.

JY: Thanks for the offer, Tiff. But I’m going to have to wait until both of you are cured so that I can punch Seunghyun hyung with his consciousness back in his old body.

YB: Count me in as well, Ji. Hyorin would kill me if I found out that I punched “Tiffany”.

DS: I don’t know what to feel or believe right now. My brain’s ing dead now.

SH: That’s exactly my reaction when I first woke up at the hospital and realizing about the condition almost immediately, Dae.

TF: Did I do a good impersonation of Seunghyun?

JY: Why didn’t you start acting, Tiff? You’ve the potential.

YB: We didn’t know anything about this at all until you guys decided to tell us.

DS: So, body swapping does exist in real life. Wow, we literally live in a fantasy.

SH: Well, surprise. Right now, we’re just praying for someone who has something than can cure us.

TF: I mean we didn’t eat or drink some potion, so it’s not going to be like the movies. It was purely caused by an accident.

JY: Maybe it’s the lightning bolt somehow killed you guys for a few seconds before bringing you both back in life, with the only catch being that your consciousness switched with each other.

YB: I think you’re going to be stuck forever unless there’s a machine that could the exact same lightning bolt that switched your consciousness in the first place.

DS: What the do we call you now? We’ve to hide their condition from the public’s eye.

SH: In public, Tiffany. In private, call me Daisy and my Korean name is Seungyeon. Or just Seunghyun hyung. It’s up to you guys, really.

TF: In public, Seunghyun. In private, Steve.

JY: Alright, then. Until both of you are cured, we’re going to call you Daisy and Steve.

YB: Hey, noona and Steve. Are you going to tell both of your parents about this?

DS: You’re going to tell them, right?

SH: Of course, we do. Right, oppa?

TF: Yeah, we’ve to let them know now before they found out.

JY: Good thing we’re still on hiatus. Don’t worry, noona. BIGBANG’s won’t come back without you.

YB: Wow, it feels weird calling you noona instead of hyung.

DS: Well, technically he’s the same age as me. So, why would I call you noona? It doesn’t make sense.

SH: Do you want to die, Kang Daesung?

TF: You can call me whatever you want, guys.

JY: Now, that’s the big brother that we know and love. Sorry, I meant to say noona.

YB: Hey, we can still visit you, right?

DS: Hehe, sorry, noona. I still have a lot to do.

“Are you boys done talking? Because we want to say something too” Taeyeon said to the BIGBANG members which made them stopped asking more questions to us. “Sorry, hon. Just still can’t process a thing after they dropped the bomb on us. But, now’s the time for you girls to ask them. Do you want us or stay or not?” Jiyong asks them “Nah, just off. Will you, hon?” Taeyeon replied to him and so, the BIGBANG proceeds to go back to the hotel, leaving just the two of us and the Girls’ Generation’s members. Oh, boy. Now comes the main event. After what happened earlier with Jessica, it’s just going to feel very ing awkward. me.

TY: So, does anyone have anything to say about this matter?

JS: (Silent)

SN: (Silent)

HY: (Silent)

YR: (Silent)

SY: (Silent)

YN: (Silent)

SH: (Silent)

TY: Alright, since it seems like everyone is silent. I’m going to go first. Well, I should’ve known from the moment that my own best friend was about to literally throw me off a cliff because “she” wanted me to learn about the importance of being alive and that I must be grateful that the both of them survived the accident and got away without a scratch, and you know what? It did work. I realized that I was too harsh on both of them when they both got discharged from the hospital. Instead of feeling grateful, I just ing snapped at them and told them it would’ve been better for me if they were both got killed in the accident. So, that’s why Seungyeon unnie decided to do what she did. On the day that my father passed, her words on that day suddenly came back to my mind. I remember I wouldn’t leave our house to go attend the funeral because I was just not ready to face my family. But fortunately, unnie busted through our bedroom door and gives me a short speech about how I should’ve celebrated his life and be grateful that he was destined to become my father instead of mourning his death. I really thought that it was Tiffany who’s talking to me on that day because she’s probably the only person in the group who can definitely relate to my experience and empathized with me. Jessie, I don’t blame you at all for doing that to “her”. You were just doing what any normal person would do in that situation. That’s all I’ve to say about that. Anyone else wants to do a speech?

JS: My turn, Tae. I don’t know whether I should punch you again or just give you a handshake, Daisy. That’s not a bad name actually. Daisy Choi or should I say Choi Seungyeon. You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to give you a very crushing handshake after all the other girls are done giving their thoughts about your condition. Sunny, you want to share your thoughts?

SN: Must be hard living as our Pink Monster and the oldest member of BIGBANG, isn’t it Seungyeon unnie and Steve? Of course, it does. I’ve no choice but to give props to both of y’all’s acting game, you’ve managed to basically dodged every bullet. Like Daesungie said, I still can’t believe this condition’s real. It really does feel weird calling the both of you by your new name, but hopefully it won’t be for long. I really hope that Dr. Yoo managed to find someone or something that’ll cure the both of you. Hyo, your turn?

HY: Thanks, Sun. Where the do I even start? I feel like my line between fiction and reality has now been completely destroyed because of what I just witnessed here today. I don’t even ing know what to believe anymore. I’m only going to say one thing and one thing only. This is for the person who’s currently piloting the body of our Pink Monster, you better be ing grateful that I’m still being able to hold back now after what you just did to our Kid Leader. But next time there’s going be a headline that says “Girls’ Generation’s Hyoyeon has been convicted for third degree murder of BIGBANG’s T.O.P”. That’s all I’ve to say about that. Yul, your turn now.

YR: Goddamn, Hyo. As much as that’s ed up, I’m with you all the way. Here goes nothing. Someone please pinch my waist to confirm whether this is a dream or the cold hard reality. I mean not right now because I still have something to say. This is infinitely crazier than when Choi Seunghyun first sets his foot in our dorm’s front door. You know what, man? I only have one thing to say. I hope both of you get well soon. Soo, will you do the honors of pinching my (Sooyoung pinches my waist) wai-ARGHHH! , THAT HURTS! Thanks for waking me up, Soo.

SY: With pleasure, Hyo. Now’s my turn, huh? Well, my big “brother” who’s now living inside’s the Pink Pig’s body, what you did to our leader wasn’t cool, man. As much I’d really want to join Hyo in killing you, I can’t because you still need to get cured. Which brings me to our Pink Pig who’s not so short anymore, how does it feel like, man? Being taller than me? Does it feel great? Oh, well. I’m already talking so much, so take it away, maknaes. Yoong, it’s your turn now. Or do you want to go last?

YN: No, unnie. Maknae’s always get the last turn, am I right? You know what, I’m going to make this as short as possible since I’m also a part of the Maknae line. I’m going to have so much teasing you, Steve oppa. That’s all I’ve to say. I really hope the both of you get cured ASAP. Joohyun-ah, it’s time for you to give your closing statements.

SH: Unnies gave such great speeches, I don’t even know how to end this. I’m really sorry that this happened to you, Seunghyun oppa and Tiffany unnie. What Seunghyun oppa did to Taeyeon unnie was pretty messed up, but I can see why “she” did what “she” had to do if your own sister in-law basically condemns you to die. God, it feels weird with this whole “Body Swapping” thing. That’s basically it, unnies basically gave all the nice speeches, so I thought that it’d be better if I just make a very short closing argument.

After the girls are done expressing their thoughts on the matter, we then spend of the rest of our celebratory lunch just back to doing the regular programming which is just doing typical family stuffs. Soon enough, everybody went straight back to the hotel because they’ve to take the next flight back to Korea because of their schedules except for the Dragon Couple, us, and the recently engaged Energy Couple who’s still in the private suite.

SH: How long are you guys are planning to stay here anyway?

TF: Hey, oppa. What should we say to my family?

JY: Probably until early next month.

TY: Great, another honeymoon. You better let me explore L.A instead of staying in bed all day.

DS: Ok, that’s TMI, Tae. Spare us of your bed stories with our leader.

SN: Jeez, says the guy who’s literally called “Yabai Kang” in Japan. Stop acting innocent, hon.

SH: Don’t worry, hon. Your dad will understand.

TF: Thanks, oppa.

JY: Hey, Steve. Does Daisy ever give you a hard time?

TY: She must’ve been very flirty with you. Does she ever tease you, Steve?

DS: But you’re the most Yabai person in the world, babe.

SN: (Blushes) Oh, shut up.

SH: Are we having a PDA battle right now? Nah, I haven’t given my lovely hubby a hard time, am I?

TF: He always teases me, Jiyong oppa.

JY: I would’ve done the same if I was living inside my KiTY’s body.

TY: If I were stuck in your body, I would’ve probably just slept all day since you’re the main producer of BIGBANG which gave you a lot of free time. While you have to do a lot of schedules.

DS: Alright, can we please stop talking about Body Swapping for a second and talk about other stuffs like for example, what happened about a few hours ago at the Sahara stage?

SN: (Grits teeth) Please don’t.

SH: Alright, we get it. You want us to admit our defeats, right?

TF: That was a very bold move, Dae.

JY: Congrats to you both. Can’t wait for the big event.

TY: I’m just going