Shouting, words: 4640

Tonight after completing my task, I walk toward the stairs, my secret place.

I have been in the roof of the hospital building quite sometimes or I can say I often visit the place. 
The secret place that I could hide from the world; the place I visit when I felt confuse and all emotion that I couldn’t describe after seeing the similar person. I stop visit GD and end up in this place. 
I sit alone and there’s no one accompany me, silent, quite and loner. I feel myself rather poor and pathetic person in all aspect.

I look to the sky and sigh for the ninth time. Why I’m always is the loner?

The stars blinking as my thoughts of Jiyong keep stronger as the time pass.
Jiyongah... Can you hear my voices?

Where are you now? Are you healthy?

Do you miss me as much like I do?

Are you still alive or…?  I have a lot of things to tell you.

Just please come back to me.

 
I feel sadder because I know Jiyong will not going to answer me right now. Not now or maybe in the end he’ll not answer me. My thoughts drive to the time when we spend our time together, happy and so young. I hope we can repeat those times, and I still hang my hope high that one-day I will reunite with Jiyong. 
 
"Dr. Seungri!!!" I hear someone call my name from behind.

Someone found my secret hiding place as I quickly wipe my tears, I don’t want anyone know about my sadness, especially at this place. I slightly turn my face to see the person but I don’t expecting the person is GD or the person I resist to see because of the similarity with the person I miss.

How he gets here and he supposes to be at his room?

I need to say something before he notice something weird about me.

 
"Yeah…" My voice sounds awkwardly suspicious for him but I answer him as I look at the other way while sitting at the chair. I can’t face him now, not when my eyes swollen like this but the bad timing can’t save me as I can hear his footsteps walk near to the chair.  

I can feel his body sit next to me, as the embracement grow bigger when I think GD saw I am crying.

It’s really hit my pride when I think he always saw my weakness. First he caught me asleep at his room and now, crying like a fool at the rooftop? Where can I put my face if he tells someone else around the hospital? I’m so dead, yeah; I feel I want to faint right now.

"Hmmm… You know, patients are prohibited wander around at night, I think you should go to your room now" I clear my throat as I speak to him as I rub my eyes to decrease the swollen but I’m not sure the swollen eyes will fade away. I’m just trying to act cool as much as I can.

 
"Yeah, yeah… Crying doctor is also not allow in the hospital, especially at night when the doctor duty is off" His voice sound really confident as I think he is mocking me and I’m not sure for how long he is been watching me. Don’t tell me he watches the whole thing; OMG GD knows I am crying and I want to disappear now.

 
"You should go to your room" The uncomfortable feeling plus the embarrassment moment in my life as I can’t control the reaction of my face.

 
"Please let me stay with you for awhile, doctor. I’m really bored in my room. I swear I’m very, very, very bored" GD make his cute facial expressions but I found it not really distract my attention, I just can’t insist him to go back with his attitude likes that.

"Patients must to rest more, not playing outside because of bored" The situation became very awkwardly as I avoid his face, looking randomly to the other way.

 
"How old are you, doctor? You looks younger than the other doctors" Out of nowhere GD starts to make new conversation after we sat in silent for few minutes.

 
"I’m still a medical student and I have not fully become a doctor. I still have a long way to become a real doctor" I don’t know why I explain so much to him but its just slip from my mouth.

"So medical student as part time new doctor? You owe me a treat.  You have always divert my ask and you never ever answer my question correctly. Why?" GD grabs my shoulders as he says that line to me.

I feel he too much arrogant as a few seconds he finger point to my face.

 
"Ah… I was busy and I’m always busy but fine, since you insist, I promise I’ll treat you tomorrow at the hospital cafeteria" I don’t know why I promise him but in a split second I can resist the similar eyes of him with my beloved one.

 
“It’s deal but you have not answering my question yet. Should I ask again? Ok, lets start from we leave the question hang on the air. Hi doctor Seungri, how old are you?" The similar person keep asking my age every time he saw my face and I get tired, I’m really tired.

Why he keeps insisted to know my age?

"Why do you need to know age? I am just a medical student as a part time young doctor, you don’t need to know my age" I laugh, yeah, my laugh sound so bad because I don’t trust him.

 
"It’s important for me because I think I’m older than doctor. Can we play a guess game? I can guess your age correctly and the prize will be more treat from you. How do you think?" GD really wants to play the game that I have not played anymore. Somehow I feel awake from my distracted dreams. The dreams of Jiyong will be at my side just like him now.

"I don’t play any game with patient and its not really important plus I need to be professional as my duty is off and beside you can walk by your own, I don’t have to send you back to your room. One more thing, if you don’t come to the hospital cafeteria tomorrow, the treat between doctor and patient is no longer valid" I say it clear as I’m getting up from the chair.

 
"Doctor ..." GD begins to whimper like an immature person but I walk towards the exit door with a reverse hand wave to say goodbye without seeing his face.

 
I found myself smile as I state clear to him. I think I find myself satisfies of the good reply words to GD as a small revenge of all his annoying behavior for the past few weeks. 
 

**********

 
This morning I enter my duty at hospital and keep busy just like usual but something unusual thing remind me of the bad decision I made when I come across the hospital place. I saw someone playing tissue at the table in the hospital cafeteria, GD. 
Well... I know I said it clear last night but he really want the treat from me really bad.

I did not even tell him what time we will be meeting at the hospital cafeteria, and I don’t have any idea for how long he wait for me. I’m not intentionally want to trick him but I can’t do it right now.   
I still have to prepare some reports and go around to get material from the other doctors before the end of the day. I can’t treat him now, maybe later or he may not wait for me anymore and that will be the good result. So I will try to find my spare time and I will go to the cafeteria at the hospital.
GD, I am sorry. It’s just not because I purposely want to trick or stingy to treat you but I will try to find the time, trust me!!! I walk away from there before he can see me.
 

At the time when I’m busy tidying the work document, I have an incoming email from the person that I trust. The email is from Mr. Dong Yong Bae, my lawyer. I sit down for a while before I click the attachment email to open. 
 
I HAD MENTIONED YOU ABOUT YOUR PROPERTY OF THE HOUSE AT SEOUL.

THE ONE YOUR MOTHER PURCHASED.
THE HOUSE BEEN RENTAL FOR QUITE SOMETIMES BUT THE CONTRACT IS FINISH NOW. 
THE TENANT VACATES FROM THE HOUSE ALREADY. YOU CAN CHECK THE HOUSE BEFORE YOU MAKE ANY DECISION. YOU CAN SELL IT OR KEEP IT. THE KEY WILL BE SENT TO YOUR HOSPITAL INTERNSHIP. 
IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO STAY IN THAT HOUSE, PLEASE TELL ME. 
HOW IS YOU IN SEOUL? DO YOU FEEL OKAY? 
DON’T MAKE ME VISIT YOU IN SEOUL WITH PROBLEMS, TAKE CARE…

PS. Taeyang
 
I smile as I read the email from my lawyer. Taeyang???

He always added at the end of his email with Taeyang. 
Sometimes I wonder why behind Mr. Dong Yong Bae masculine appearance, still have some weird personality? My lawyer, Mr. Dong Yong Bae is still having his nature of young teenager. Youth.

I want to reply to his email now and tell him that the nickname doesn’t suit his age but his nickname amuses me and yet I don’t want to do it because his nickname reminds me of his never giving up on me.
I understand my lawyer email because sometimes during our meeting he mentioned the issue.

Soon I can see the first house in Seoul that we occupied before, I don’t know if I will keep it or not, its depend on my situation and my feeling in the future. I don’t want to put so much attention on that because I’m busy… Oh no… I lose my track of time. I see my watch, as my eyes can’t believe what it shows. It's nearly lunchtime... I need to go so I walk quickly from my workplace.

I head to the hospital cafeteria to see if stupid GD is still waiting for me or not. 
 

When I walk toward the cafeteria, GD seat have been vacant by the other.

I stop as I think GD may not wait for me for that long. This side of cafeteria rarely can see any doctors visit the cafeteria because the doctors usually eat in the dining room in 8th and it specially prepare by the hospital. Well I think GD will never bother me anymore so I want to go to the 8th floor and meet the others doctor. Before I move or probably I’m escaping myself, someone tap my shoulder from behind.

 
"Yah... Do you know how long I wait?" It does reflect from the action so I turn around to see who tap me on the shoulder.

  
GD... I almost can’t believe my eyes beca