Joshua

I was watching them carefully when I announced the continuation of Wed Game. I was looking for a sign that one of them did it: a suspicious flicker in their expression that would give them away.

I see nothing out of the ordinary. I just see the same smug confidence in Dino and Nayoung. The same innocent terror in Jiheon. The same cool indifference in Mingyu. The fiery outrage in Saerom. Only Seungkwan looked different than usual.

He wasn’t the kind, uppity guy he usually was, but he also seemed troubled, traumatized even.

That’s either a sign that he cared about Chaeyoung or that he killed her. The rational thing to think would be that he just cared about her; he doesn’t strike me as a murderer at all, but my brain hasn’t been very rational lately, and in my head, I’ve already mapped out a motive and precedent for him. Of all the other suspects, he’s the one that circumstantially had the most opportunity to kill her. He was the one who was with her that night.

After my announcement of the resumption of Wed Game, I dismissed everyone and told them to get ready for the second game tomorrow. Now, I am in bed, reading up on interrogation tactics on my phone so that I can be prepared for the game to come.

My phone buzzes, and I recognize that it’s Seungkwan, contacting me from the phone I gave him when he was still taking care of Chaeyoung.

I’m in the Media office building. Can we talk?

Don’t text me again. I write back to him.

Please, Joshua. I have to talk to you, and I can’t rest until I do.

What is it?

I’ll tell you in person. Come to the media office please.

Well, if he puts it like that, it makes me feel like he knows something about Chaeyoung’s death. Begrudgingly, I get out of bed and go to meet him in the dead of night.

When I reach that office, the same office in which I last spoke to Chaeyoung, I feel a dark cloud descend upon my mood, reminding me of her death and her loss. It has been nearly three weeks; I thought the worst of it was over, but it’s a wound that still feels fresh in my heart. I want to cry, but I swallow it in when I see Seungkwan, sitting against the wall waiting for me.

“You came,” Seungkwan says, as if he didn’t expect that I would.

“What do you want to say to me? And this better be worth it, Seungkwan, or I’ll…”

“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” he cuts me off

“You’re sorry?” Anger rises in my chest.

He then gets on his knees and bows to me. “I’m so sorry for not protecting her like I promised I would.I feel like it’s all my fault and I can’t eat or sleep or do anything anymore because it weighs on me, and I just need to hear you say that you forgive me.” He talks like he’s on the verge of tears..

“ off, Seungkwan,” I respond, trying to swallow the strain that is now in my chest. “You call me up here to apologize, thinking I’d say it isn’t your fault so that your soul can rest easy? No. Never. I want you to be tortured with this for the rest of your goddamn life!”

Seungkwan collapses on the ground. I only feel a little bad for doing it to him. He clearly seems troubled, and what I said probably crushed him.

Perhaps he seems too troubled. He only knew her for a little while. Why is he so ing upset? Maybe he killed her and regrets it. Maybe he didn’t mean to kill her, but she ended up dead, and it’s eating him up inside.

If there was a killer, it just seems most likely for it to be him. He was standing outside this very room when I argued with Chaeyoung; he probably heard me say I was turning off the cameras in her room. He knew he wouldn’t be caught if he unleashed the ticks on her. He’s the only one who could have known.

But he’s also the only one who knew that I was going to end Wed Game for her, so what possible motive could he have for killing her? He wanted Wed Game to end so that he could marry Saerom and get off the island. He was getting what he wanted, right?

Or was he manipulating me? Did he really not want Wed Game to end? Did he secretly want Saerom to win this game? Or did he want to win this game? If he did, he showed no signs of it.

Maybe he unleashed the ticks on Chaeyoung to make her sick, not kill her. The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that this theory could apply to any of the six of the suspects. The culprit probably never intended to kill her. They must have realized that I may have ended the game from a broken heart. They would have just wanted her gone, disqualified from participation so that they could have a chance with me instead.

Nothing is making sense. My brain is in overdrive, trying to figure it out, trying to put together all the pieces that just aren’t fitting.

I still can’t figure out Seungkwan, who is staring at the ground like a broken puppy.

“Is that all you wanted to tell me?” I ask him. My voice comes out broken, betraying my own sorrow.

The vulnerability made him lift his head to look at me. I let him look at me, even though I hate when people see me on the verge of tears. I want him to know that I’m in pain, and that it’s his fault.

He then stands, and wraps his arms around me.

.

I haven’t been hugged in so long. Chaeyoung was probably the last person who ever hugged me. In her funeral, attended by company executives and higher-ups, I really wished someone was there to comfort me, but no one knew how much she meant to me, so no one realized how much I needed it.

But Seungkwan does. He knows I loved her.

I lose it at the moment. I cry. I let the tears pour from my eyes, in the warm embrace of a near-stranger who is a suspect for her murder.

“I’m sorry,” Seungkwan says in a hushed whisper close to my ear. “I’m so, so sorry.”

-

A/N: Hello friends. I am so sorry that this chapter is late (and short). I will update within a week to make up for it. I've been writing some other things for publishing projects that I hope to announce soon!

Also, our Joshua must be going through a hard time right because of all the things going on. Please send him warm messages and pray for his wellbeing <3