Joshua

Chaeyoung’s gone. She stormed off, apparently, and her little boy toy did too. I didn’t even notice until much later. I was too stupefied by 152’s audacity.

Did I up? I don’t know anymore. She’s probably pissed, but I’m the one who’s supposed to be pissed at her after what I saw in that security footage.

I need to talk to her. I need to get this straight and make it right.

When the stupid Paramour’s Dilemma game finally ended, I immediately texted the phone I gave to Seungkwan. I hate that I have to go through him to be able to talk to her. He’s the last person I want to deal with now. I blame him for the wedge between me and Chaeyoung now.

How’s Chaeyoung?

He responds quickly, which, for all my frustration with him, I appreciate. She’s upset. What were you thinking, man?

Could you ask her to sneak into the media building? I really need to talk to her. She can come in through the door in the back.

He replied a few minutes later. She’ll be there in ten minutes.

-

I wait for her near the door, rehearsing my apology in my head. I didn’t kiss her, but I’m sorry I didn’t push her away when she kissed me. I promise it won’t happen again.

I don’t expect Seungkwan to be there with her when she arrives. So much for wanting alone time with her. And since when is he her bodyguard? I never appointed him to be her bodyguard. I just wanted him to protect her from afar, but here he is acting all guardian angel best friend for life!

I swallow my bitterness when I see him, instead focusing on Chaeyoung. She’s clearly upset, the bloating under her eyes remnants of tears she probably cried before all this. To think that I was the one who made her cry makes my chest hurt.

I turn to Seungkwan. “Could we have a moment please?”

He nods. “I’ll wait outside,” he tells her. I catch her give him a weak smile in response as he leaves through the door.

“You got close to him pretty quick,” I say, trying to hide the bitter edge in my voice.

“Seungkwan has been a great friend,” she says.

I scoff at that.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she shoots back at me.

“Look, I didn’t bring you here so we could argue. I wanted to apologize and call a truce.”

“A truce? I didn’t realize we were at war? I feel like the treachery is very much one-sided here.”

“Oh come on, Chae. I’m sorry about that 152 girl, but she came on to me!”

“You encouraged her!”

“You’re one to talk!”

“Excuse me?”

‘I saw you and Seungkwan last night.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“How you climbed into his bed…”

Chaeyoung goes quiet and narrows her eyes, as if trying to recall it. She then frowns at me. “How did you know that?”

“So you admit it.”

“How did you know?”

“There are cameras installed in the bedrooms. I saw you two with my own eyes…”

“You were spying on me?” she yells.

“You’re the one getting angry with me? I’m the one who’s supposed to be angry here!”

“What the hell, Joshua? Yeah, I climbed into his bed last night, but only because I wanted to see the messages from you that he had on the phone you gave him. What the hell did you think I was doing with him?!”

I go quiet, recalling the video. She went under his covers, and then came out giggling. She was looking at my messages to him? Under the covers? Why couldn’t he just show her the phone or something?

I did tell Seungkwan not to show anyone the phone and keep it hidden. And last night, I did send him some messages threatening him if he failed to protect her. Was that what she was giggling about?

I feel stupid. I automatically assumed the worst of her and now we’re fighting. Why didn’t I think a little and ask her about it instead of going all vigilante and flirting with another girl? I made this whole thing so much worse.

“I’m sorry,” I say, but Chaeyoung is not having it. She does not look prepared to forgive me.

“I’m very uncomfortable with the fact that you’re spying on me, even in the bedrooms.”

“There’s cameras in every bedroom…”

“Well turn them off!” she hisses.

“I’ll turn off the cameras, but please forgive me.”

“I don’t know if I believe you anymore, Joshua.”

“I’ll do it right now!” I pull out my phone, and immediately text the head of the camera crew to turn off the cameras in Chaeyoung’s room. I show her the message I sent. She glances at it, but she still doesn’t look happy.

“And about that 152 girl, I’ll disqualify her and…”

“I quit, Joshua,” she says before I could get to my apology.

“What? What do you mean you quit?”

“I can’t be a part of this game anymore. It’s humiliating and demeaning and I hate being filmed…”

“Wait, wait, wait… Chaeyoung, no, we talked about this. You can’t quit. You’re going to win this game…”

“No, Joshua. I’m quitting. I’m dropping out right now.”

My chest feels so heavy, like it’s about to burst out of my chest. “Look, Chae, I know you’re angry with me, but we can talk this out. If you quit, I won’t be able to marry you. You understand that, right?”

“Then so be it. I don’t think we were ever meant to be anyways…”

“Is this your way of breaking up with me?”

“If that’s what quitting means to you, then yeah.”

“Chaeyoung, come on, don’t do this to me.” My voice falls flat and cracks. I feel like I’m about to burst into tears. “I love you,”

Chaeyoung also begins crying at this point. She wipes her eyes with her sleeves. “I’m not sure that you do.”

“I do! I really, really do. What do I have to do to prove it to you, Chaeyoung? Tell me and I’ll do it.”

“End the stupid game!” she says without hesitation. “And just marry me.”

“But… I… if I do that, it will reflect badly on Hong Pharmaceuticals,” I say. “It’ll tank our stocks and we’ll have to pay every contestant for breach of contract, and…”

“I don’t care about any of that, Joshua,” she says.

“I’ll lose the company, Chaeyoung. I can’t lose the company…”

“I don’t want to marry the company! I want to marry you and only you. I don’t want money or fame. I never did. I never asked for this dumb game and I never wanted to compete with other people for your hand in marriage. I hate it, Joshua. I despise it!”

I breathe out, trying to calm the torrent in my chest. “Look, I promise you, I will make this right. I will end the game quickly, and in one week, you and I will be married. Just bear with me for one more week, please.

She shakes her head. “No.”

“Chaeyoung!”

“That's my final answer.”

“I won’t do anything with another contestant again! I won’t even be a part of any of the games any more. And if anyone gives you a hard time, I’ll disqualify them and…”

“Stop it, Joshua. I’ve made my decision, so now it’s time for you to make yours.”

I stagger, feeling lightheaded. She’s adamant, I can tell. She wants me to choose between her and the company.

I try to counter her, one last time. “You’re not just asking me to give up the company, Chaeyoung. You’re asking me to give up my reputation, my lifestyle, my everything…”

“And here I thought I was your everything.”

“You are!”

“I’ll wait until morning for your answer,” Chaeyoung says. “If I don’t hear from you by noon, I’ll be getting on a boat back to the mainland and getting on with my life.”

Ouch.

She turns and leaves me, shocked, forced to reckon with the weight of the position she’s put me in. Immediately after she leaves, reality sinks in.

Although it was a blow to hear it at first, and although I did hesitate to make the decision when I watched her walk away, I know precisely what choice I want to make. It isn’t hard at all. If I have to choose between everything I am and Chaeyoung, I would choose Chaeyoung. I’ll give up the company, the billions, the reputation, everything, for her sake.

I send a message to Seungkwan’s phone just a minute after they’re gone.

Tell Chaeyoung I choose her. I’ll cancel Wed Game tomorrow.