Me : i mean, i can go to you if you want, why not?

Me: gusto mo ba now na? HAHA

literal na winter : You should be aware that it's gonna be a long drive from your campus to mine.

Me : who cares? 😝

literal na winter : Me, so don't.

literal na winter : I'm driving, bye.

Me : so you care about me now? 😌

Me : mkay, ingat po.

"Sumasakit na ulo ko, bes!" I turned of my phone just to see Ning having a hard time, she's reading a book full of laws. I looked at my laptop and continued reading terminologies. My other friend Yeji, she just looks calm everytime pero lahat naman kami ay nahihirapan at pagod na.

We are at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf at Katipunan right now. Ning suggested na dito na kami mag-review for the meantime. According to her, siguro ay may malupitang recitation bukas dahil Friday and she also added that staying in the campus library will be boring even though reviewing is the much stressful one, and she was starving! 

Pumayag na lang kami ni Yeji dahil may sariling copies naman kami ng reviewers and we were hungry as well. Ning also said that she'll be paying the food kaya pumayag din kami agad pero ang ending, we paid individually for our food.

"Wala ka pa nga sa kalahati, hoy." Yeji said and I let out a chuckle. Humawak na kasi ng cellphone si Ning and Yeji being that older sister in our group got activated in her system.

Ning whined but still not listening to us, hinayaan na lang namin ito dahil kanina pa din naman kami nagrereview. We are all in the same age but I was older if we're going to compare the months. Ning is like our baby in the group because she acts too childish and Yeji is the mom since she's very protective towards us. Ako naman, I don't even know too. Why am I even thinking about that now? Lol.

"Pahinga din guys ha, baka deretso langit tayo nito." Ning laughed at her own statement, binatuhan ko siya ng tissue dahil sa sinabi niya.

"We can survive this, ilang buwan na lang." I said. It will be worth it, I always think that way. After this hell ride, we will still review for board exams.

We fell in a comfortable silence again and focused on our laptops. Our coffee was brought in and we're still waiting for the food to come, hindi naman nawala ang paboritong lasagna ni Ning sa order. I can hear Ning and Yeji talking as I was searching for other resources in the internet. Yeji called for my attention since the waiter came with our food, tinabi na muna namin ang mga gamit sa lamesa at nagsimulang kumain.

"Do you think will be doing a thesis this sem? Mga bes, kabado na ako." Ning exclaimed while holding her chest, acting like she's been hit.

"For sure, required yun. Let's all be partners na lang." Yeji suggested and Ning nodded like a good puppy, natawa naman ako sa itsura niya.

"Hoy Ji, wag mo 'ko tawanan! Hindi lang pancit canton ang ambag ko dito." she said, pouting like a kid. We all let out a chuckle, wala pa nga ako sinasabi ay yun agad naisip niya.

We once again fell in a silence where utensils made sounds for us. I saw Ning look like she has something to say, she has her eyes looking at us. 

She initiated the conversation again, "We should do this more often, alam nyo na, bonding time!" Ning said while drinking on her Vanilla Ice Blended drink. 

"Girl, magkakasama tayo laging tatlo." Yeji spoke while munching on her pasta

"Sawa ka na ba sa beauty face ko? Aba! Miss Universe mga gantong mukha oh." Ning stated while pointing in her face and facing Yeji as well, magkatabi silang dalawa sa table at mag-isa ako sa harap nila.

"Ang dami mo alam! Kumain ka na lang dyan." Yeji said, Ning mocked what the other girl last said and laughed. Their presence was very amusing so I fetched for my phone and captured their faces.

Tinignan ko ang picture and sent it on our group chat. I was about to turn off my phone when a messaged popped up on my notification bar, it was from 'literal na winter'. Natatawa pa din ako sa linagay ko, bagay naman kasi cold siya lagi.

literal na winter : I care about your gas, yes.

Me : oh? akala ko ba you're driving?

Pinatay ko muna ito at linagay ang aking cellphone sa table at kumain muli. I got startled when my phone because the notification popped up again, kinuha ko ito at binuksan. Napatingin ako sa dalawa na nasa harap ko, for sure they saw the panic in my face, my phone was visible to their sight but it was faced the opposite to their direction so maybe they didn't saw it clearly.

I opened the app and read her message, a smile immediately plastered in my face.

literal na winter : Red light.

Me : excuses. 😝

I think she's driving again. Linagay ko sa lap ang phone ko, the app was still open and I can see her typing so I was wrong with my thought. I saw the two looking at me and getting curious at my sudden actions, sasabihin ko naman sa kanila pero mukhang may alam na sila dito. I looked down again and read the message she sent.

literal na winter : Edi 

literal na winter : Don't, haha.

I choked on my food when I read her message, Yeji immediately handed my drink to me and I accepted it. I've never heard of this word and it's so funny. Siguro kung maririnig ko ito mula sa kanya ng personal ay maiiyak ako sa tawa. I smiled while thinking of a reply to her message, the two were still eyeing me.

"Si Winter yan 'no?" Ning asked, I wasn't surprised that she will mention the girl's name first since yun ang last kong kuwento sa kanila, wala nang iba. I looked at them and nodded.

Yeji looked at me with a stern look, "Do you really like the girl?" she asked, I was taken aback at what she said but quick to get my composure again, "Tanong lang naman, that will be your first and serious relationship, if you're serious though." she added and chuckled, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

As being friends for nearly four years since we entered college, we were open to our preferences in relationships. We have interests with women and it wasn't an issue for us because we were open-minded about the certain topic. But in the world full of ual prejudice, we kept it hidden to ourselves, even our loved ones don't know a thing about it. People might throw stones or even point fingers towards us. That's what scares me the most, even if it makes me the happiest.

A thought of Yeji's question never slipped into my mind. Winter was the last intimate contact I had so what's the next move? Hindi rin ako sigurado. I know the faces of the two girls in front of me, they saw and heard me rumored with countless boys and girls before and they were not a fan of it, hindi ko din maintindihan ang sarili ko. It was embarrassing to look back at my past.

"Baka naman hindi mo talaga gusto, Ji. Bored?" Ning said and let out a light chuckle, hindi ko alam ang isasagot so I kept quiet. I felt Yeji's feet moved to Ning's direction. "Sorry." I heard Ning said softly.

We now fell in an awkward silence, iniisip ko pa din ang sinabi nila. Winter and I met in a club, not new where I've met other people I had intimate moments with, wala naman kaming special connections rather than annoying each other in our texts, she's also far from me but the good thing is I can contact her. But she was different. Different because I felt comfortable with her, she didn't took advantage of my drunk state that night, she took care of me until I woke up. Not like other people, my status in life never bothered her.

I was very flirtatious, tama si Yeji na wala pa  akong serious relationship and I don't know how it works or how it feels to have one. I remember her again, she did things that I never expected happening to me.

Pero hindi pa din ako sigurado.

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