Deer in the headlights

Love House

Kyungsoo.

 

When Friday comes around, Kyungsoo doesn’t know what he’s going to do. He’s painfully aware that he’s going to have to choose someone for the Love Villa and even if he probably would be able to pick Jongin this time around, he didn’t know if that’s what he wanted to do.

His brain wants to be logical and tell him he has to talk to Jongin before he jumps to conclusions. However, his heart is not about that life and he just wants to ignore everything to avoid getting hurt. Thinking about it in retrospect, it looked like Jongin really wanted to talk, however, Kyungsoo was too hurt to actually listen.

And he still is.

In all honesty, his brain is a mess, his heart is a mess, and he doesn’t want to think about this situation anymore. So, he gets dressed and walks downstairs, only to be dragged back upstairs by Baekhyun. He blinks as he’s led into the other man’s room. The door closed behind them.

“Emergency meeting.”

“Isn’t it too early for an emergency meeting?” Kyungsoo chuckles, sitting over Baekhyun’s bed. The other starts pacing around the room like a caged lion. Kyungsoo sighs at the sight, he already knows what this is about.

“No, because I only have a day to make a decision and I don’t know what to do.” Baekhyun runs a hand through his hair. “Sehun wants me to pick him-”

Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. “Well-”

“But Chanyeol also wants me to pick him, and I have to be going crazy, because our first date wasn’t what it should’ve been, but he’s been so nice after that.” Baekhyun takes a deep breath. “Is it crazy to be curious to what it would be like? I know I promised Sehun I would pick him that time, but it was only meant to be one time.”

“Baekhyun.”

“And he’s nice and all, and I like him. I just don’t know if it’s the same way he likes me and with Chanyeol… man, it’s so complicated. I mean, I think he’s hot, that’s for sure, but you can’t start a relationship based on hot. Hot can break your heart.”

“Baekhyun!”

“What?!”

Kyungsoo chuckles. “Take a deep breath, relax. It’s going to be fine. First, you’re not forced to pick whoever because of some dumb promise. You’re here to find a partner. The least you can do is to be true to yourself and pick who you want to pick.”

“What if I don’t know what I want?” It’s so endearing how genuinely concerned Baekhyun looks.

“Go back on everything you said… I’m pretty sure you know. You’re just playing dumb.”

Baekhyun narrows his eyes at his friend. “Watch your words, Do Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo laughs. “Cheer up. When the time comes, you’ll know what to do.”

Baekhyun sighs, sitting at the edge of his desk. He looks like he has been stressing over this for a while, and Kyungsoo could not blame him. It was hard to decide without hurting someone and that’s the least any of them wanted, but if they were to take the show seriously, then they had to stay true to their feelings.

Even if they didn’t know what those were.

“I’m about to go meet up with some friends. Do you want to come?” Baekhyun offers. Kyungsoo has nothing else to do, and he was on his way out, anyway.

“You know what? I need a change of setting. I’ll join you.” He nods, and Baekhyun smiles in response. They both have been going through it, so they needed to reward themselves somehow.

“Perfect, I’m sure they’ll like you.”

After agreeing on that, they go their separate ways to get ready. This is good. At least Kyungsoo thinks it is. He needs something to distract him from the mess his brain and his heart are at the moment, and by the looks of it, Baekhyun needed just the same.

Distraction.

Even if Kyungsoo can still feel his heart sinking every time something reminds him of Jongin, or he thinks of him.

He’ll push through. He knows he will.

Kyungsoo finds Baekhyun by the front door. He’s putting on his shoes at the speed of light. A quick glance over his shoulder confirms both Sehun and Chanyeol are in the living room, staring at him like kicked puppies. Kyungsoo sighs as he puts on his shoes as well. He follows Baekhyun out the door and soon they’re in the car.

Baekhyun deflates the moment he closes the door.

“I held my breath for so long in there.” He says, turning on the engine.

Kyungsoo laughs, fastening his seatbelt. “They looked like they were about to follow you.”

“They better not or I will not pick any of them today.” Baekhyun then frowns. “Although, the only thing that could be worse than having to choose is staying with both of them in the house.”

“That could be pretty bad, yeah.” Kyungsoo agrees.

“Remind me to erase myself from this earth if that happens.”

Kyungsoo laughs as they pull away from the driveway and incorporate into the street. He doesn’t know exactly where they’re going, however, it’s not like it matters, he just has to be away from the house for a while. Away from the drama and away from every single reminder of his love failure.

If he can call it that at this point.

He doesn’t want to say he’s giving up, there’s still a conversation that needs to be had, but it doesn’t make him feel any less hurt or anxious.

Baekhyun drives them to a café downtown that Kyungsoo has been to maybe two times before. It’s nice, the vibes are soothing, and he thinks that’s exactly what they need for now. They walk into the place and a couple of people instantly wave their hands in their direction. Baekhyun grins and pulls Kyungsoo towards their table.

“Good to see you’re alive Byun.” One of them says and the other chuckles in response.

“Shut up.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “Kyungsoo, this is Jaehyun and this is Seojun.” He introduces them respectively.

Kyungsoo smiles and nods politely. “Hi, nice to meet you both.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Jaehyun says. He has long, dark brown hair and a couple of piercings here and there. Easy smile to match. “Is this the one you’ve been freaking out about in the group chat?”

Kyungsoo looks at Baekhyun in time to see his cheeks and ears reddening.

“No! You never pay attention.” Baekhyun sits down across from them and gestures for Kyungsoo to do the same.

“The names are different, I think,” Seojun says. He has a military haircut. Kyungsoo thinks he looks the most serious out of the three.

Jaehyun takes a sip of his iced coffee. “I’m not good with names.”

“Well, it’s not him.” Baekhyun sighs. “Although I had my eyes on him at first, the rockstar of the group snatched him away.”

It’s Kyungsoo’s time to blush. “Oh God.”

“Anyway, I’m not here to talk about freaking Love house. I’m here trying to escape, so what’s up with you guys.”

Soon they jump into a random conversation. Kyungsoo and Baekhyun order some drinks as well and he listens to their friend’s group shenanigans, jumping in to talk about his own experiences from time to time. As they talk, Kyungsoo feels his phone vibrating inside his pocket. He pulls it out, only to find Jongin’s name on the screen.

His heart sinks to his stomach.

He stares for a solid minute before the call drops. Sighing, Kyungsoo puts his phone back in his pocket. He’s not ready yet. He’s not ready.

“Was that Guns and Roses?” Baekhyun asks and Kyungsoo can only chuckle.

“It was.”

“I don’t really know what happened between you two, but you seemed to do so well.” Baekhyun sips on his drink.

Kyungsoo simply shakes his head.

“Well, looks like you both are going through it, and coffee it’s not gonna cut it.” Jaehyun stands up. “Let’s go for some proper drinks.”

“Now?” Seojun raises an eyebrow.

“Now is the best time.”

“You know what? I won’t complain.” Baekhyun stands up as well and, just like that, they’re on their way out.

When they get back to the house, it’s getting dark outside and they’re tipsy. Kyungsoo doesn’t know how they’re supposed to go through a matching session like this, but there’s no going back now. Jongin called him a few more times throughout the afternoon and he ignored every single call and text.

Not even the alcohol could give him enough courage to talk to him.

It’s not like it mattered, anyway. Jongin was at the hospital with his family and Kyungsoo was here. He’s not going to the Love Villa for sure. He literally has no one to go with. Regardless of that, he’s instructed to put his card inside a mailbox. He frowns at each of them, sighing as he pushes the card into the mailbox and runs back upstairs.

He doesn’t even pack. He knows he’s not going anywhere.

As time goes by, Kyungsoo lies in bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the alcohol to go down a bit. He will probably have to face Jongin during the weekend, and he promises himself next time they have an opportunity, he will push his stupid feelings aside and behave like the grown adult he is. Not that he didn’t have the right to avoid him for a while, but his time in the house is almost over and it would be sad if they never talk about it.

He takes a deep breath.

Next time.

Do Kyungsoo, please grab your suitcase and go downstairs.

Kyungsoo’s heart skips a beat. Wait, what?

His eyes widen as he sits up and stares at the door. It spins a bit, but the shock is too grand to process anything else. Did they just call him? They did, didn’t they? He was called. They really did. His first thought was that he didn’t pack a thing. Kyungsoo throws himself out of the bed, tripping and falling before he can get himself up and running. He doesn’t know what he’s packing, but he shoves clothes and other things at the speed of light into his suitcase and prays everything he needs is there.

His legs are wobbly when he walks downstairs, with his suitcase and a stare that would rival a deer in the headlights. Once he reaches the bottom of the stairs, he has to swallow his heart.

Jongin is there. Standing there, looking as good as always, holding his own suitcase as he bites on his bottom lip.

Isn’t he supposed to be at the hospital with his mother?

They haven’t even talked and now they’re supposed to go to the Love Villa together?

What?

Kyungsoo approaches him slowly. He doesn’t know what to do and the alcohol in his system isn’t working either.

“Hey.” He greets. Jongin looks at him, making his heart race. Eyes so deep he feels himself drowning in them.

“Hi.”

Well, this was about to be interesting.

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