CHAPTER 1:

It was so weird.

One day, I suddenly woke up through the striking hot sun rays from the window instead of the loud alarm of our dorm. Suddenly, I can walk on the streets without wearing a mask nor cap.

Suddenly, I’m in the countryside. I’m with nature and have this calm environment--very far from where I have been for the last two years of my life. I’m used to loud crowds, not serenity along with the trees and birds. I’m used to a very busy morning, not this lazy kind. I’m used to travelling and sleeping inside our company car, not walking on the side of the road to go to school. 

My journey as a kpop idol was as if a sweet dream and now, I finally awakened from that very beautiful dream. I scoffed at myself while reminiscing how my two hella years of training and another two hella years of being a kpop idol turned to be like this.

I was dragged on the small province where there's almost no internet connection, somewhere no one knows what is kpo,p nor is updated with social media. Great choice, it's as if my parents have already planned these over the year that they executed my exit from the controversy smoothly.

“Good morning, my name is Seo Aera, 20 years old.” I introduced myself in the class with a small and awkward smile.

The whole class was silent while eyeing me. I accidentally locked eyes with one of the students and I immediately withdrew from it. He was staring at me intensely as if looking at my soul it scared the hell out of me.

“Aera-yah, you can sit besides Kim Sua. Class president, Minsung, please guide our new student around the campus later, alright?”

I didn't had the chance to look at the class president as I was already rushing towards the seat that I was assigned to. It felt so weird being stared at by these students. Although I know that they don't know what kind of controvery I got in in Seoul, I still feel like they are thinking that I'm a bad person.

The girl, Sua, welcomed me on my seat with a very bright smile. She looks so cute with her bob hair and eye smile. Somehow, with her warm welcoming smile, I calmed a bit.

“Hello, beautiful!” She said while waving her hand after I finally settled down besides her. “I’m Sua, your class partner starting today.” 

I put on a small smile again. I nodded to her, unable to actually ride her excitement. I have observed that has that loud extrovert energy although we've only communicated a bit while in the class. I cannot help but remember my members--former members rather--because she's giving the same energy as them.

I sighed. I was a very bad groupmate to leave them without a proper farewell. I told them about my departure from the group through a video call because I am unable to go out of our house anymore after I went home. Our last interactions were all through online yet now I am in a province and that my parents changed my phone number, I cannot even get updates regarding them anymore.

How are they now? Are they busy preparing for their schedule? We have been fully-packed for this year, not until some were cancelled because of my issue. Maybe mom and dad’s decision was right. Now that I left the group, they must be fine now. It’s only me who kept staining the group.

“Hey, what do you think will be the menu in the cafeteria?”

Time quickly passed by and in an instant, lunch break is already happening. I didn’t know what happened but I just suddenly realized that I was already walking towards the cafeteria alongside Sua and her best friend, Yeri, who’s in the same class as ours.

“Did your family just move here? I don’t think I have seen you before.” While Sua has the aura of a friendly person, Kwon Yeri has an intimidating aura due to her cat eyes. Although she has that kind of vibe, her personality is completely opposite because she’s as talkative as Sua. No wonder they are bestfriend, both are social butterflies.

“Yeah, if you’ve been here all along in Gwangsa, I’m very sure you could’ve been one of the most popular girl.” Sua said while we were lining up in the cafeteria.

“I’m from Seoul. I just moved here...alone.” 

“From Seoul?! I knew it! Indeed, all girls from Seoul are beautiful! No wonder you’re this gorgeous.” Yeri was getting giddy again. “How can you look so beautiful, huh? Even your skin is shining.”

“You’re alone? Why did you move alone?” And Sua starts asking more questions.

It was so awkward. How do I answer such question?

“Apparently, I made a huge mistake back there so my parents decided to keep me here.” The two were taken aback at my answer but I just chuckled. “I’m living in my late grandma’s house. Seo Sunggyu, maybe you know her…” I said to divert the topic.

Gwangsa is just a small town and if I’m not mistaken, most of the people here know each other.

“Grandma Sunggyu?! You’re her granddaughter? She’s a famous kind old woman here. Everyone was sad when she passed away last year. Her funeral was in Seoul, right? Although everyone wants to see her funeral, Seoul was too far...” 

Sua was right. My grandma was very kind and affectionate. She was always there for me back when I was child and my parents weren't around because of work.

That’s why when I heard that she passed away, I quickly rode a plane back to Korea although we have a concert overseas. I remember getting so much hate for the sudden absence in that concert. Maybe that triggered more people to think that I really have a diva attitude.

“Look there,” Yeri pointed at a beautiful slender woman on a table filled with guys. “That’s class 3 Yoo Yoojung, the most beautiful girl on the campus, on our town as well I guess.” She whispered in my left ear.

I nodded while stealing glances from Yoo Yoojung. Indeed, the girl is very beautiful. With her small face, big innocent eyes, tall nose, and thin red lips, she will for sure pass as an ulzzang. She smiled at the boy besides her. She looks so innocent and feminine.

“But now that you showed up, maybe a new campus crush has arrived.” I was still appreciating Yoojung’s beauty when I suddenly felt the two’s stare at me.

I slowly turn to them. Both are looking at me with a sweet smile. I immediately scoffed.

“I mean, our other seniors are already asking for your name. You’re gaining popularity on your first day, Seo Aera.” Yeri hit me on my arm lightly while giggling.

“Class president!” I was just about to combat their words when Sua suddenly shouted.

Yeri and I both looked at the person Sua just called. A tall lean man was approaching us with his intense stares. It was the same guy that I locked eyes with a while ago. With his clean haircut and neat uniform, he looked like an idol starring in those teenage dramas.

Now that I’ve seen him closely, I realized that he is actually handsome. He can pass as the visual member of an idol group or model with his height. His hooded eyes look dominating. His tall nose was as if sculptured to perfection. And his lips look so red and beautiful even if he wasn’t wearing lip tint or what.

Hell, Kpop companies are missing this man here. Such a waste that television is not seeing him.

“Sua, Yeri, would you mind if you guide her on our campus?” He asked with his baritone voice.

He’s for sure the type of the boys that teenagers will idolize. A face genius, as they call it.

“Oh, don’t worry about that, Minsung. We will tour her after eating.” Yeri answered casually.

“Do you mind if they will be the one to tour you around?” The class president turned to me with the same intensity. He’s serious face gets to me everytime, it is too much.

“H-Huh?” I immediately avoided his stares.

“Our teacher asked me to tour you around the campus but it looks like you are comfortable with the two already. Or...would you rather have me as your guide?”

“Oh! No, it’s alright. Sua and Yeri are fine. Thank you, by the way.” I said while waving my hands, panicked a bit because of his question.

He smiled, and suddenly, the natural menace on his face disappeared. He immediately looked like a cute cat tamed by his master.

“If you have any other questions that Sua and Yeri cannot answer, you can definitely reach out to me. I’m just in the library.” Before finally turning away, he told me.

“That’s Kang Minsung, our class president and the rank 1 in our class. He looks snobbish and yes, he is indeed snobbish, he barely smiles but once he does, you will definitely melt. He’s so attractive even Yoo Yoojung has a crush on him” Yeri fills me with the information while we’re all looking at our class president’s back as he exits from the cafeteria.

And I will forever agree with her. He's gorgeous.

“He’s so cool. Especially when he’s competitive...” Sua commented.

“Competitive...” I echoed.

“Yes, although he looks unbothered with his looks. He’s so competitive, he’ll lose his head when he starts getting defeated on something. Be it in math, science, arts, even in P.E.”

In a span of a week, I start learning more about the people around me in the small town but still, I feel weird everytime I wake up through the calmness of the morning. The neighbors were kind, and the people in school are friendly. I have also received some confessions through letters and I was given some chocolates by boys. 

I am always reminded of my life back in Seoul and it's always the hardest part of the day. I feel like crying every time I reminisce about it. And I don’t think I am ready to let go of that life. Everything happened too fast and I know myself I haven’t adapted to the sudden turn of my life. 

This feels so empty. It feels like I’m in a world that I'm not supposed to be in. It’s as if I wore clothes that aren’t for me.

“Kid, are you going to school? Hop in, we’re going to the market. We will pass your school.” The old couple from the next door were very nice to me. They sometimes give me dinner and even converse with me everytime they see me going out the house.

I was reminded by my grandma of them.

“Gosh, I hate P.E.” We haven’t moved yet but Sua was already ranting regarding our subject for today. “The sun is striking hot as hell yet we are here, outdoor, for what?”

I chuckled at her pouting lips and lazy posture. 

“C’mon, stand up. Mr. Lee will start the lesson anytime soon.” I extended my arm to help her to stand up. She was sitting on the bleacher under the tree, far from where our other classmates were.

“Minsung said we will jog for one whole straight hour as an activity for today.” Yeri walked towards us and whispered.

My lips parted quickly while Sua screeched in irritation. She was already ranting and cursing loudly. I was busy looking around because the teacher might be just around. Looking at our other classmates, it looks like all are in disbelief for the activity.

“Are you crazy?! This is not a class, this is punishment! Gosh, this is insane. I won’t participate! I won’t do it!” 

I think Minsung overheard Sua’s loud voice because he turned to our direction. I quickly held Sua’s arm to stop her but it’s already too late.

“The three of you, come here already.” The baritone voice of Kang Minsung called us.

Sua, Yeri, and I turned to him in chorus. His intense eyes were partnered with thick furrowed brows now. He hand signed us to line up like everyone else.

“Mr. Lee won't be here today. He’s in a meeting with the school sports’ team so I will be in charge for the activity. Line up already so we can start. I have here a timer, the first one to give up will be the one to monitor everyone’s time while those who will complete the one hour jogging will receive the highest grade.” 

He filled us information on why would we do such activity. Afterwards, he clapped his hand loudly to notify that we’re starting now. With his domineering aura and charisma, everyone only gets to express their frustration silently. He is a very effective class president with his intimidating air. Everyone followed when he started jogging in front.

“Yeri, give up already so we can stop.”

“Shut up, why don’t you give up first then?!”

After some minutes of jogging, a commotion was already happening between Yeri and other guys.

“I don’t want to handle the monitoring of time, of course!”

“Neither do I, you stupid.”

I chuckled at the small fight between them. The group of guys were already convincing Yeri to give up first because she looks the most tired of the three of us who’s in the back.

“Sua, you give up!” And now, they are asking Sua.

“I will buy you snacks outside the school later, just give up already! I’m tired to hell, Jeong Sua!”

“Shut up! I will never give up first. I don’t want to be the monitor, dumbheads!” 

I chuckled more because they are starting to get more frustrated and loud. It’s fun to watch this kind of things.

“Hey, stop laughing!” Yeri pushed me lightly when she noticed that I was just finding them funny.

“Don’t push me, Kwon Yeri…” I was just teasing her but I forgot that she was already very weak from the jogging which is why even my lightest push was already too much for her.

She was taken aback and stumbled. I was just about to catch her before falling but a guy already held onto her hand to stop her from falling. It looks like a romantic drama where the guy was doing a move to the girl. 

I gasped at the scenario. I almost teased Yeri but before I could do that, the guy already raised his hand and shouted loudly, “Kwon Yeri stopped! She’ll monitor the time, Minsung!”

“HEY! I WILL KILL YOU!”

With the loud announcement, more than half of the students in our class then stopped and finally gave up. Most were already lying on the grass of the field. I continued jogging with other peeps as I yearn for the highest grade.

“Fighting, Seo Aera!” Yeri was sitting on the bleacher while holding a timer, waiting for us to finish so she can record our time on the small notebook on her other hand. Beside her is Sua who’s cheering on me silently because she’s drinking a pack of juice.

I think it’s just 10 more minutes until the one hour jog ends and yet, the only people here who's still jogging are me and Kang Minsung. The guy was jogging without looking back while I was just following him from the back. I guess he was kind of shock to hear my name being called, which is why he turned to his side to look at the person on his back.

Of course, doing a jog for an hour is an easy task for me. In the industry I was in before, having great stamina is required. I was also addicted at exercising back then because I'm scared of being criticized for my weight.

While reminiscing about the good old time, the guy in front suddenly sprinted as if he’s not tired yet. My eyes widen while seeing him running as if in a marathon.

Is there any additional grade if we’ll run?

I looked at the two girls on the bleacher with confusion etched on my face but they looked confused with our class president’s sudden sprint as well.  I just shrugged it off and continued jogging.

“Last one minute!” 

I’m just about to finish one lap but our class president is already about to finish his third lap. I chuckled on my own when I remembered what Sua told me before. Kang Minsung was said to be a competitive kind of person. Cute.

Dude, I’m not even trying to compete with him. I just want to finish the one whole hour jog for the grade.

But I think he finds me as a competition because even after that event, I just found him looking at me with menace in his eyes when I recited in our English class.

“Oh, you have a very nice accent.” My seatmate, Sua, complimented me for reciting a whole english paragraph.

Some of our classmates also looked at me with amusement after that. Some teased me which I just awkwardly smiled at. I still find it weird to be complimented personally. I only get to read compliments from fans before.

In our trainee days for becoming kpop idol, we were obliged to learn another language aside from Korean. We are visioned to not be for locals only but to boom internationally as well. Well, I was once part of that vision.

“100?! You said you didn’t do well in Seoul but seeing your scores right now…” Yeri questioned me after snatching the test paper that was returned to us after class.

I smirked when I realized what she meant by that. I told them before that I made a huge mistake back in Seoul and now, they think it’s about studying.

“It’s just luck.” I said before getting the paper back and folding it. 

“Luck? You’re our highest in the math quiz yesterday. Shut up, you smartass.” I cannot help but chuckle when she even rolled her eyes. “Let’s go home together. You can ride on the back of my bike.”

“Hey, look.” While putting the paper on my bag, Sua went closer just to whisper those specific words to me.

She slightly pointed to the guy on the third row, fixing his things so he can go like everyone else in the room. His back was facing us but while looking at him, he suddenly turned. I panicked and quickly avoided glances. Although he naturally looks intimidating, his looks were heavier today.

I heard Sua and Yeri chuckled--they must have seen me flustered.

“Looks like our class president is in a foul mood.” Sua sounded as if she knew why.

“What’s wrong? Did the class made him mad?” I asked curiously.

“No, he barely gets mad at us. But a specific person made him competitive, I guess…” Yeri said with a raised brow at me.

My brows furrowed. The two pointed at my bag where I kept my test paper. Being reminded of his very scary and charismatic aura, I cannot help but panic. I don’t think it's nice to be in bad terms with him. Especially that he’s our class president.

“That’s unfair. It’s not my fault I’m good at guessing right answers. That’s immaturity if he gets angry at me for that reason!” I cannot help but show how flustered I am at that.

The two scoffed in amusement. It was late when I realized that our class president was still in the room and that he heard what I just said because of the sudden loudness of my voice. I slowly looked at his way and saw him looking at me with a blank expression.

My jaw dropped. I was about to explain to him about what I just said but my mind was already haywired. He sneered at me before finally turning his back to us and walking out. I cannot believe myself when my mind even had the time to praise his model-like long legs that made his exit looks so good without effort.

“Oh, he heard.” And of course, instead of comforting me, the two girls laughed at me.