CHAPTER 4:

“Hey,” I almost jumped when someone suddenly poke me on my arm while I’m silently listening to Sua and Yeri’s story on the line to get lunch in the cafeteria.

My empty lunch tray almost hit Minsung’s face because of his sudden appearance. He was holding his lunch tray filled with food already. 

“You look so funny.” He chuckled before turning away and walking as if he didn’t do something odd. 

I winced at his friendly action. It's so weird because I know he’s trying to be a comfortable friend to me.

“What’s with you and Minsung?” Yeri asked but a knowing smile was already on her lips. 

Sua didn’t talk but her smirk triggered me more.

“Nothing!” I even waved my hand to the two.

“Oh, the neighbors are closer now, huh?” Sua nudged me on my side.

I want to deny her statement but I know it’s going to be a lie if I did. And I don’t have any plan to tell them how Minsung and I awkwardly decided to be friends.

After getting our lunch trays filled with foods, we then continued to converse on the table. The two are really chatterboxes, which is why whenever I eat lunch with them, I finish first. They have so much to talk about while I listen and laugh about it.

“There’s a noraebang near the market, Aera, we can play around after buying your bike. Aside from that, we can also try the drinks at the nearby newly opened cafe.”

Tomorrow is already the weekend and just as we plan, we’re going out to the market to buy a bicycle so they won’t have to carry me on their own bikes. 

I also plan to treat them. Good thing, Yeri already suggested things to do aside from buying the bicycle. I am actually quite excited to go out tomorrow. I heard that the location of the market that we’ll be going to is in the center of the town and that it has some establishment unlike here in our area where only greens, long roads, and fields can be sighted.

I miss the city vibes so much. To be honest, I am not the kind of person who would choose life in the nature rather than the loud city. I was born and raised in the city where fine dust has always been high and skyscrapers blocking the sunrays. I'm more energized by the city vibe.

“You don’t have classes tomorrow, do you have any plans?” Later at the dinner in the Kang’s household, grandma asked me about it.

My heart fluttered just thinking about going out tomorrow. Sua and Yeri will pick me out tomorrow early. Maybe the two saw my excitement for tomorrow’s plan that they made our schedule earlier.

“I’m going out with my friends. I will buy a bicycle and maybe we will wander around all day long in the place.” I said while smiling.

“Do you enjoy shopping that much?” Minsung asked with a smirk.

“I will not buy anything else but a bicycle! We’ll just eat at the cafe there and then go to noraebang.” 

“Eonni, do you like going out so much? You look so excited.” Minho then said while he writes on his notebook.

Grandma and grandpa were sitting on the couch while me, Minho, and Minsung, were all sitting on the floor–circling their coffee table. We just finished eating dinner and the old couple are watching a variety show while I help Minho with his study. 

Minsung was just there to look and observe us–maybe waiting for me to make a mistake in teaching his brother so he can tease me about it. Or maybe not. He doesn’t look like a playful person.

“I don’t get to go out much in Seoul so I’m excited to go out tomorrow. I hope the weather will be fine.” 

“There’s a delicious gyeranppang store at the market. You should try it. It’s more delicious than the ones sold in Seoul.” Minsung then suggested. I quickly nodded to him and even typed it in my phone so I won’t forget.

I love egg breads!

“How sure are you that it’s better than the one in Seoul?I know a place close to our dormitory where they sell outrageously delicious gyeranppang.” I countered although I will definitely try the ones he suggested.

“I’ve gone to Seoul and the ones I tried aren’t that good compared to the ones in the market. Try it yourself and if it’s better then you’ll grant me a wish.”

My eyebrow furrowed. I don’t even know if he’s serious or not so I just chuckled.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, and what if the ones in Seoul are better?”

“I’ll go to Seoul myself to check them out. I won’t believe you until I taste it myself.”

Now I cannot help but burst into laughter. He looks so competitive about it. Instead of getting scared at his arched thick brows and sharp eyes, I found him cute.

“Don’t worry, I will even tour you around Seoul so you can find more delicious snacks and street foods.” I said sarcastically.

The next day, I woke up earlier than my alarm that's why I had more time choosing what to wear. I was having a hard time thinking whether I wear a one piece flowery dress or my usual clothings in Seoul where I wear crop tops and denim shorts.

Eventually, I didn’t get to wear any of it because according to the news, there’s a big chance of a rainy weather later in the day. In the end, I wore ripped boyfriend jeans and a ringer tee partnered with my chuck taylors.

I kept looking at my face in the mirror while waiting for Sua and Yeri. I feel awkward because I will go out without wearing makeup like I usually do whenever I’ll be going out somewhere crowded. I don’t even have to wear a mask nor a cap to hide myself.

It’s good to feel freedom.

While on the bus, I kept looking at the window while we’re passing the fields. The wind was so refreshing that I couldn't help but smile for a moment. While enjoying the scenery that I actually never bothered to look at, I listened to Yeri’s story about her dog.

“Should I cut my hair?” 

“Huh? All of a sudden? I was talking about my dog getting a haircut!” Yeri said.

The three of us are seated in the back of the bus and our group here is the loudest. I brushed my hair upward and felt its strands being so dry.

“My hair is dry as hell. Do you think short hair will suit me?”

I have always been bleaching my hair back in Seoul because I do different hair colors. Maybe I should start taking care of my hair now since I won’t have to change hair colors from now and then.

“Are you sure? I think you’re too impulsive.” Sua said but Yeri started cheering me about it already. She kept saying that I will suit the short hair because I have a defined jaw anyway.

“Do it! Do it!” Yeri chanted. “I will also trim my hair later. There’s a hair salon near the noraebang.”

With that additional itinerary, we were late getting our lunch. Not to say that I got too much adrenaline when we went to the market and saw so many affordable clothes, shoes, and other accessories.

“Can you give us three of these?” I asked the vendor of the bracelets I have taken interest in. It has a simple design of colorful beads.

“I didn’t know you’re into accessories so much.” Yeri looked so shocked while I wear the two rings I just bought partnered with an elegant looking bangle.

“Choose what you want in the three.” I told them while I look for other bangles that I might like.

The two drag me out of the accessory store because they thought I am having a shopping spree. In the end, I had so many paper bags on my hand because I bought some clothes as well. 

“What? I suddenly had a haircut and these clothes will suit my new style. Plus, it’s really cheap. I can't believe I bought a shirt costing 10,000 won only.” I defensively reasoned when they kept staring at me while we wait for our lunch in the restaurant.

“Just when I thought you’re perfect. You’re also flawed, you shopaholic monster.”

“I’m not a shopaholic. I didn’t even have the time to buy clothes before.” Again, I explained. Almost pouting because they don’t really believe me.

After filling our stomach with food, our energy rose to the roof that I think the soundproof walls of the noraebang didn’t work anymore. The two were dancing in a comical way which made me out of breath while laughing at them.

“C’mon, sing!” And when they forced me to stand up to dance with them, I let go of all my reserved persona and start dancing with them.

I laughed harder when Sua even waved her body towards me and did a lip bite. Yeri cheered me to do the same to Sua so I slowly did a body roll to her. She screamed so loud to the mic that I immediately covered my ears.

“So hot! Oh my gosh, you girl!” Sua slapped me jokingly in my . 

I laughed loudly.

Yeri forcefully snatched Sua’s mic and gave it to me. The song playing on the karaoke machine was a famous song so I didn’t have a hard time singing along with it. I even danced along while I continue to sing.

For a moment, I found the familiar funny feeling in my chest. It’s only when I hear loud booming music while I dance and sing is when I feel this much of heart fluttering. This much of happiness is only felt when I’m holding mic. The next thing I knew, I already felt like tearing up because, hell, I realized how much I miss being on stage and being cheered at.

I cannot let go of my life from before and it’s so frustrating that I already failed my dreams. Ah, I cannot believe my dreams were crushed just like that. After training hard for two years while keeping up with my study, after two years of being a kpop idol while I’m surrounded with issues and gossip, my bliss got destroyed to pieces.

“Just when I thought you’re flawed, I’ll learn that you can sing and dance perfectly. Wow, the world is indeed unfair. What can you not do, huh?”

After the noraebang session, we went to the cafe Yeri suggested. It was indeed a newly opened cafe as they have a promo for buying drinks. We enjoyed the calm vibes in the store, especially that we were too energetic a while ago.

We calmed down through drinking refreshing shakes while we watch the tv screen in the corner. It’s airing a music chart show and the two looked so attracted to the kpop boy group dancing on the television. 

“What’s the name of that guy?” Sua suddenly pointed to the guy singing.

“Youngjae.” I answered quickly.

“He’s handsome. I like him.” She said as if being territorial. 

I cannot believe the two were really all silent while watching the show. It’s so weird that they don’t even talk but just keep watching. I immediately laughed when Sua pointed another guy after another boy group starts performing.

“Minhyuk.” I answered the question she’s asking through glancing at me. “There’s their name above the lyrics.” I pointed out while her eyes are glued on the tv.

“You know so much about kpop. Do you go to their concerts and such back in Seoul?” Yeri asked after observing that I know all the names Sua keeps pointing at.

“I sometimes watch their concerts.” I support my friends, of course.

“Sua is for sure a fangirl if we’re only not living in a remote province.” Yeri chuckled after saying.

“I want to be a kpop idol now! I will write it as my career interest.” Sua then declared after watching some more of the performance of groups.

“All of a sudden?” I chuckled.

“Just let her be. She’s been like that since day one. Last year, she wanted to be an actress because she wants to work with the actors she has watched on tv. For sure she just want to be an idol now because she has seen so many handsome boys.” Yeri explained that made me nod.

“But if you want to be a kpop idol, you won’t be able to interact with boy group much because you’ll be hated.” I spoke through experience that made Sua turn to me.

“Really? Then I don’t want it anymore. I would rather keep my interest as an actress then.” She giggled. “But speaking of career path interest, we’ll have to write our interest next week, right? Do you have anything in mind?” Sua asked after remembering our homeroom teacher’s reminder yesterday.

“I’ll write stewardess. Mom wants me to pass SKY university but I’ll take any college where I can pass. Besides, it’s impossible for my grades to get into any university in Seoul.” Yeri answered confidently.

Suddenly, I went silent thinking about what I want now. We’re in the last year of our high school. I should be decided about what I want for my future already but I don’t see myself in any other career because I have always pictured myself on stage.

“What about you, Aera?” Sua asked, which made me snap back to reality.

“Well, about that….” I cleared my throat and sat straight before putting a small smile. “My parents want me to do a business major in SNU.”

“Oh, I heard Kang Minsung wants to get into Seoul National University as well. You might meet him there then.”

It was already 4pm when we finally decided to go home. While walking with paper bags on my left hand and walking my newly bought bike on the other hand, I came to a conclusion that it’ll be hard for us to go home with this much stuff so we decided to just ride a taxi.

“Hey, you treated us to everything already! Let us pay for the taxi this time.” Yeri’s loud voice made some passerby turn their head to us. 

We’re still in the middle of the busy road of market and I cannot believe we’re arguing here while looking for a taxi. 

“Treat me next time then! I want to treat you two today so it’s on me.”

Yeri looks so ready to argue with me as well. She gasped so much air and was about to talk when a bunch of girls suddenly sprinted along the road. Some even have DSLR cameras on their hands. I quickly stiffened.

One of the girls accidentally bumped Yeri.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”

While the girl is bowing to Yeri, I’ve got a glimpse of her face and I remember her immediately. I felt my hand getting colder as I stare at her. I know her. She’s a fansite master of Ahn Minhyuk. I’ve always seen her back in Seoul because in every schedule I have with Minhyuk’s group, she’s always there.

And when she caught me looking at her, her brows arched immediately. I quickly avoided glancing at her, but she kept looking at me while Yeri was talking to her. 

“Deokmi, let’s go already. Minhyuk might leave already!” Another girl shouted that made her stop staring at me. She looked so unsure while looking at me and I thank God that she didn’t conclude immediately that I’m that ‘Seo Aera’ they know.

“Yes, I’m coming!” She sprinted towards the other girls and never looked back to us although I’m so sure she’s now thinking if she has really seen the controversial former member of LightSky.

My heart starts booming mad while I think about what just happened plus the fact that I heard Ahn Minhyuk is here.

“What’s happening? Why are there many people over there?” Sua asked and then pointed to the end of the road where there is a crowd. 

“Maybe a celebrity is here? Let’s see it!” 

“Maybe they are doing a shoot. Let’s go and see if it’s a guy!” Sua already held my arm to walk with me but I stayed still on the ground. 

There’s no way I’ll go in that crowd. 

There is no way I’m going any closer there! I turned my head and wandered my eyes around. I start becoming anxious. Ahn Minhyuk was my first ever controversy. We were linked together because I dated him while we’re schoolmates in middle school.

Aside from the flashback of all the hatred and threats I received due to the immense popularity of Ahn Minhyuk, I felt like fainting while thinking that his fans from Seoul are for sure just around and might see me here.

I cannot bear people looking at me while thinking that I am guilty of the bullying controversy I left in Seoul. I cannot bear another news tomorrow about me being spotted by Minhyuk’s fans. I’m already thankful that the townspeople don't know me here.

“I’ll just go to the restroom.” I said while my eyes continued to wander around, very uneasy of the thought that people who knows me might be just around. “I’ll be in front of the supermarket in 10 minutes. I’ll wait for you there.” I instructed and turned around quickly afterwards.

Sua and Yeri carried my paper bags and bike first while I went away. Although I keep telling myself to be calm because I’m in a different haircut and that they might not think it’s indeed me, I kept walking at a fast pace.

In the end, I was almost running towards a boutique to buy a face mask. My hands were shivering as I put the mask on. And just when I thought I can keep up with this crisis, a hand suddenly grabbed me on my arm.

“Seo Aera!” My breath hitched when she called my whole name in a loud voice. “Oh my, it is really you!”