CHAPTER 13:

Although I didn’t stay long at Gwangsa, I made connection with the place that I feel so much grief when Minhyuk’s car starts roaring towards the outside of the province. Heavy-hearted, I started to reminisce my time in the province. 

My heart sank even more when I realized that I didn’t even get to say goodbye to grandpa and grandma from next door. I was rushing to get my baggage out of the house so I forgot to bid farewell to them. They are the people who reminded me of my grandma’s love and warmth for me. Their warmth made me lenient and calm. 

I also made friends here that made me delighted even when I’m in the most rocky part of my life. They made me remember that there is something to enjoy and to be happy.

Dang, I will never forget how they helped me with life although I was never vocal to them.

I smiled a bit when I remembered that they even made me perform in a talent show for a new smartphone.

I sighed. The province taught me to embrace serenity and simplicity of life. Although for a short time, it made me experience how to be a normal average high schooler, I cannot deny that I also enjoy that people here don't know me and that I felt freedom.

Minsung’s face suddenly flashed in my mind and my smile quickly quivered.

And that person made me realize how much I lost myself. How much I lose my confidence. He cheered me up when I said that I want to be an idol. He told me I will be successful if I'm confident. He even offered his connection just to help me with my dream.

Hell, how can I forget him? How can I forget everyone? How can I forget this province? 

I remember his question to me earlier. He was asking me if I’ll go back. I do hope to go back but for sure, it’ll be unlikely to happen because I can feel that my life will go different again after I get back to Seoul. 

When Minhyuk finally dropped me off in my private apartment in Hongdae, I was surprised that Gaeul and Yujin were waiting there.

Yujin was laying down on my couch in the living room while Gaeul was busy eating snacks and watching tv. I looked at the clock on the wall and confirmed that it is indeed midnight already.

“Why are you here? And why are you not sleeping yet?” I asked in shock.

They calmly looked at me as if they were really expecting me to be here. Of course, Gaeul knows my passcode for my apartment. We have known each other the longest that even my passcode for my bank account, she knows it. 

Maybe Zhou already gave them a heads up that I’ll go back here in Seoul. That's why they are camping here in my apartment.

“We are waiting for you. I tried to contact your parents and from what I heard, they are out of the country for weeks now. How should we fix this?” Yujin stood up and asked me immediately. 

“The girl who accused you of bullying is now stating that you caused her so much trauma and that being differed right now makes her stressed. I won’t be surprised if by tomorrow, she’ll release a fake medical certificate saying how bad her health condition is because of all the drama.” Gaeul said and showed me the screen of her phone where an article is displayed.

I sighed. Although I’m already tired from all the events today, I do think that it is more appropriate to think about a plan today. The group shouldn’t even think about my problem but they are even helping me about this now.

“She doesn’t really want to let this go. And she’s even pulling the health condition card now because she’s already exposed for being an Ahn Minhyuk fan and a long time anti-fan of LightSky.”

I sighed. This will be a really rough road for sure.

“But don’t worry about the accuser, we can definitely debunk all her allegations about you. The netizens are starting to suspect all her statements due to so much proof of her lies. We just gave you an update about your case.” Yujin eonni said and snatched Gaeul’s phone that was in front of me.

“Eonni’s right. Worry about yourself because definitely, you cannot go back as a normal student in Gwangsa. Now, what do you think we should do?” Gaeul asked and then crossed her arms, patiently waiting for my answer.

My mind went blank. I don’t have a plan. This never crossed my mind. For all the time I was in Gwangsa, I never thought that people would find out about me. I was too lean thinking that they would not know me because I was just a rookie idol and social media is not really a thing there. I underestimated the province.

I should have thought I’ll be exposed anytime soon wayback when Minho already said that I looked like his classmate’s idol.

I stared at the two girls and they just stared back. For a minute, we just stared at each other while we all crossed our arms. I sighed and walked away from them.

“Won’t Zhou eonni come here?” I asked and slouched on my couch. I grabbed the snack Gaeul was eating a while ago.

The environment felt so familiar yet so awkward. I cannot help but miss the dark and lonely house back in Gwangsa.

“She just called us to say that you’re coming back here. We don’t know where she is. Like I told you, she’s so busy these days we don’t see her much even though we live together.”

I nodded when Gaeul told me about that. I actually wanted all of us together when I'll tell them about me pursuing being an idol again but because they are already eager to know my plan, I have to tell them what I have in my mind.

“I want to continue being an idol.” I announced that made them quickly turn to me. I already expected their surprise faces but it still made me chuckle. Their expressions are priceless.

I have no plan but I have one sure decision. If I want to pursue my passion, I will have to take it seriously and with these girls only. I know that it’ll be a rough road while we try to succeed with whatever plan we’ll have but there’s nothing I can do but hope for a flower road by the end.

And I was right when I said it’ll be a difficult path. The two girls excitedly called Zhou to tell her about my decision. Because of that, our leader hurriedly went to my apartment to discuss her plan. I cannot believe she has already made a whole gameplan on how we’ll orchestrate our come back as a four member group.

I have to admit. It is indeed a scary idea. Who can have the confidence like Zhou to pull this crazy stunt, huh? 

The whole year was a mess for our group. The name of our group was all over social media. We are mostly the headline of every showbiz news outlet. Yujin and Gaeul filed lawsuits against the company just right after my name got cleared from my bullying accusation. While the two are fighting for the mistreatment and slave contract, the company had no clue Zhou was planning bigger.

While they try so hard to overwork Zhou eonni to cover up what’s happening between Gaeul and Yujin eonni, Zhou is already orchestrating on how we will be back as a group. They made Zhou have a solo debut and even go to variety shows but little did they know, she’s already taking part in arranging a branch of her family’s talent agency in Korea.

I remember how much backlash eonni got because she was silent while her two groupmates were already at war with the company and she continued to promote as a solo artist. We all feel bad for Zhou because she’s done almost everything for us and yet, that’s what she got.

I cannot even understand how she can laugh at what people says about her at the end of the day as if it’s nothing.

Just a day after the new year, Zhou made an announcement that she finally terminated her contract with Ftown. She paid a large sum of money for withdrawing her contract with the company. It was a huge shock for everyone, especially for the people who cursed and bashed her when she promoted as a solo artist.

Netizens only start realizing what’s happening when Zhou goes to Yujin eonni and Gaeul’s court trial versus Ftown entertainment. I remember how the names of three girls trended worldwide because of the stunt they pulled. 

I smirked while I watched them on the tv being crowded by the press. I chuckled when Zhou really wore her most expensive clothes and accessories while walking with the two girls just to contradict the rumors coming around that she got broke right after she paid for withdrawing her contract.

It was almost two years before the case of the two girls and the company got settled. Right on the group’s anniversary, the two eonni announced they have signed a contract under the newly established talent agency associated with the biggest talent agency in China.

Another week passed and Gaeul also announced she’ll be joining in the same agency. It made everyone shocked and excited at the sudden turn of events and although I actually plan to announce myself joining in the same day as Gaeul did, Zhou firmly told me to not state anything until another week passes so it’s more thrilling especially that people are hoping so bad that I’m in their line up.

It has been two years and so ever since people heard about me directly. I focused on studying really hard until I graduated from High School because I know it’ll be the last time I’ll make my parents proud before I tell them my decision. Mom and dad decided to make me attend high school in Seoul after knowing that I was found by the press in Gwangsa. They realized that wherever I am taken to, I will still be found by the media so in the end they decided to just make me stay here. 

I ranked high in the school I attended in Seoul but they didn’t go to my graduation because they were still disappointed. I wasn’t the highest in our batch and that made them feel embarrassed to come to my graduation. They got more angry when I didn’t also pass Seoul National University.

“You cannot go anywhere there. No one will accept you in that industry. You’re banned from going back there!”

And when I only told them that I decided to go back in the industry. I was slapped hard by my mother. I didn’t get their approval but I’m already at the right age so I still got to sign the contract with the company.

And then they disowned me.

I expected it but it still hurt when they kicked me out of the house while we’re having dinner. I still cried like a whining kid when I went back to my apartment and the girls were there. 

When we finally released a statement that I will be also part of the newly established entertainment label, fans made the social media explode. 

It made me happy. I was scared so muchm, to be honest. My family wouldn’t take me again if I fail and I don’t want to be a burden to the girls. I actually thought I would receive a backlash if they learn I’ll be with the three but then fans' support flooded.

The overwhelming happiness and relief when we finally debuted again through a different company and with our freedom, I bawled my eyes out when we received our first win in a music show.

At last, we can almost see the flower road after everything.

Zhou being the best and amazing leader she has always been, made our group slowly climb to the top. It was tiring but this feeling is what we keep looking for for the last two years we’ve been inactive. I remember the same feeling I had back when we were still rookies. 

In the span of a year, we finally regained our position way back when we were still rookies. With a great company like Zhou’s family’s company, we didn’t have much difficulty in being promoted properly. Another year passed and we continued to soar until we broke out of Korea and got on the Japan and China’s market.

We became busier and busier until we didn’t realize three years had already passed and our group has been running for more than five years in the field. It just finally hit me up one day that we’re starting to be seniors in the industry when we promoted our new album in a music program and more groups visited our green room rather than us going to other group’s green rooms.

“We’ve been promoting in foreign countries so much we didn’t realize so many new groups debuted already.” Gaeul said while she looks at the album a new group gave us a while ago.

We are at the waiting room of a music program to promote our new korean song. We’ve been promoting nonstop in Japan and China last year so we didn’t actually know much about what has happened in the Korean entertainment world.

“We’re getting old and yet, I still don’t have a boyfriend.” Said by the woman who just broke up with her ex last month.

We all looked at Yujin with a frown. She chuckled when she saw our glances at her through the reflection of the mirror in front. She is sitting in front of the vanity while Zhou, Gaeul, and I are all at the couch and resting.

After a while, Zhou and Gaeul dozed off again which is why the room became silent. I would lie if I say we’ve been resting well since we re-debuted. That’s why when the management promised us that we will have a vacation after promoting this album, we all rejoiced. They even made a full itinerary on what they’ll do for the vacation.

A knock from our waiting room made the girls woke up, they must have thought we’re already going to start our pre-recording shoot. But then it’s not, another girl group went inside our waiting room to greet us.

We heard a lot of rumors in the industry that other groups find the four of us intimidating so as much as possible, we try to smile whenever other groups try to interact with us.

“This is our new single, sunbaenim-deul.” The girl in the middle extended her arm to give us their single album. She is glowing and indeed exceeds the purity that people like. I’m pretty sure she’s their visual. 

Yujin immediately smiled and thanked the girls for the album. I gave our full album as an exchange to a member on the side.

When I made direct eye contact with the person I extended my hand to give our album, I suddenly found familiarity in her face. My eyes widen when I realize who the girl I just gave our album to.

“Yoo Yoojung!” I called her name in surprise. 

I cannot believe I’m seeing her again after all those years. I remember that Sua and Yeri did tell me she went to Seoul to audition for Han Entertainment. I guess she really auditioned and even debuted. 

I’ve heard a lot of news about Han Entertainment though. They were once listed as the best entertainment agency but two years ago, they had their downfall when the CEO got into a big scandal along with their artists which made the management change. Until now, they are trying to recover from it.

Seeing Yoojung made me reminisce about Gwangsa. Although I’m still talking with Sua and Yeri until now, I still find it nostalgic to see her. I remember her very well. 

About Sua and Yeri, they are now out of the province. Sua pursued college in a nearby city, she’s already in her third year now. Yeri became a makeup artist that’s based in the US, that's why whenever we have schedules in the west, I always contact her. 

“Oh, you know her, Aera?” Gaeul asked.

I was smiling at Yoojung but her eyes avoided me. Her smile turned awkward. Her group mates looked astonished when they heard me calling her name. She bowed her head and greeted me in a stiff tone, “It’s nice meeting you, Aera sunbae.”

My eyebrow twitched a bit when I realized she’s acting like we don’t know each other.

“Uh…yeah. Remember when I was in Gwangsa? She’s a schoolmate.” I answered Gaeul.

I remember her being so friendly to me but now she’s acting like we didn’t know each other. I smiled a bit.

“You want us to go US? …with that song?” Zhou asked in a serious tone while looking straight at the director. We are in the conference room of the company building for our meeting with the management. 

They announced through this meeting that they plan to make our group expand in the US market next year. They even made us listen to the song they want us to use for the next comeback. 

I cleared my throat silently and stood straight. The air in the conference room starts becoming heavier and I can feel that my two other members here also feel fear as we watch our leader start sounding upset.

“You have conquered China and Japan. Obviously, we’ll proceed to the US market. You have a stable fanbase in Japan, and you all have solo fan bars in China that are well founded. Even if we fail in the US market, you can just go back–”

“Wait. What?” Now I can definitely feel how much Zhou got more irritated at the talk because she even cut the director off. She scoffed. “Okay, so first you want us to sing this generic song all to fit in the US market and then you’re saying that it’s fine to flop in the west as if we’re being experimented? As the leader of LightSky, this is so impudent. As the main producer and one of the board members of the company, I feel so angry that you can decide recklessly.”

The whole room turned silent at the firm and very dominating voice of our leader. When we finally left our former company, not only Zhou started voicing more about the group, the whole group gives more opinions now. Be it about the music, concepts, schedules, or even clothes for performances. 

We became more opinionated and free about expressing our ideas and judgements not because it’s Zhou’s family’s company, it’s because we became the board members as well. 

“And we are always fair when choosing title tracks for the group. We always vote for what we want, why is there a sudden change? ” Yujin asked in a serious tone as well. “We also promised the fans that we’ll be active in Korea for our next comebacks.”

“Your last song topped the chart in the US. You’re already popular in the west, you just need to go there and do more promotions. Know what, It’s not even impossible to do collaborations with top celebrities in the US.”

Although our leader and eldest members already talked, the director kept pushing the idea for the western market. The more he explained, the more I see it as something so rushed. I understand when even Gaeul who’s silent starts shaking her head. It seems like the management wants to go bigger in the fastest way.

“It’s too risky to enter the US market like this. There is no concrete plan for that yet. We’re not opposed to the idea but for now, it’s too early.” I said, being all honest.

And even then, the management kept convincing us. It seems like they really have decided and are just now announcing it to us. I definitely understand that they have more power to decide about the group because we’re just the members but our opinions are not only because we’re the group members but because we’re also part of the board. This is a big risk not only for the name of the group but for the company.

The door of our dorm slammed. Gaeul and I, who are giggling at the couch in the living room, both curse out of shock. We both watched Zhou march down the staircase with a massive scowl on her face. Gaeul and her were both mad at what happened earlier in the company but I think she’s much angrier.

“She can’t take embarrassment that’s why she’s so angry.” Gaeul stated, I nodded. We both have the same thought on why she’s very angry.

She has so much pride as the leader of our group, of course. Along with the desire to be big in this industry, her will for our group to become the best is to slap the haters with the fact that the group resurrected from all the issues before. 

She doesn't give anyone a chance to say bad things about the group but then, all of a sudden, there’s this big chance that others will laugh at the group if we go back to Korea as the group who failed the US market.

Of course, we cannot be so sure that we will fail there but the way we see it, we’ll just be the same as the other groups who tried and failed for the western validation. The company’s idea is the same formula as how other kpop agencies tried to do. And to be honest, I personally think that the only reason why our company has so much confidence that they can pull this off is because of our popularity.

Through our nonstop hard work for the last three years, we became the top girl group.

“Are we really going to debut in the US then? Hell, we even promised to the fans yesterday in our encore stage that we will focus on producing Korean songs now.” Gaeul asked. “Oh my god, Chinese words and Japanese words are mixing in my mind, do we need to learn English now too?”

She was starting to whine already while just imagining what would happen.

“I will bet a 2 percent of my stocks, we will fail there.” She even said.

I could’ve accepted her bet though. I’m pretty sure Zhou wouldn’t sit back and just watch us get destroyed while we’re promoting in the US. But then, our bet got forfeited when the next week, we heard that the director in charge in the agency got replaced. The management got changed that fast.

I was wrong when I said Zhou wouldn’t let us flop while in the US. It’s actually, ‘she wouldn’t watch us being controlled by the management’. Her foul mood last week turned a hundred and eighty degrees when the news finally surfaced on the internet.

“There would be a new management that will be led by a producer from your talent agency of your family in China, huh?” I asked her after I opened her room’s door and she was busy watching a movie while laying on her bed. “Did you whine to your parents all week long that they decided to appoint a precious producer of their company to their sub-label here in Korea?”

Her eyes rolled and she threw a pillow in my direction. I quickly catched it with my hand and threw it back to her.

“I don’t know what you’re saying.”

My eyebrow raised. Zhou isn’t the type to lie but I don’t believe she didn’t do anything about the sudden replacement of the director. It’s these kinds of times that I appreciate our leader even more. It’s never normal in this industry that we can do what we want as artists but because it’s Zhou who has all the connections in the world along with her wits, we can do what we think is appropriate.

There’s no day where I don’t think of how lucky I am that I became part of her group. I received so many opportunities because of it.

Luck. Opportunity.

A person suddenly crossed my mind after being reminded of those two words.

“And why are you still up?! Sleep already, we will be meeting Director Kang tomorrow.” 

“Director Kang? I thought the new director is a former executive in your talent agency in China?” I asked in confusion because from what I know, the new director was appointed from Zhou’s family’s business in China. Naturally, I thought it’s a Chinese person.

“No, he’s a Korean producer who's been working in Dad’s company for years. He’s one of the main producers of the last chinese group from their company. I just hope his visions will align with ours.”

I nodded slowly, agreeing with her.

When the next day finally happened, we went back to the company to welcome the new director along with the other board of directors. 

Director Kang Sungyeol. We actually researched him while we’re on the car on the way. We learned that he really has produced a lot of great artists from China. But when we finally met him, that’s when relief only finally hit us. With the way he talks about how he wants us to work with, we find him fine. Personally, I feel comfortable with him, and it seems like the other girls feel like that as well.

He is a tall lean man that looks sharp and very technical. He’s in his mid-fifties already but the gorgeousness of his youth is still evident on his face. The way he sounds in the meeting, he’s for sure the serious and stern type of a leader. He reminds me of Zhou. Looks like they would get along.

I just really hope we’ll work well.