Eeteuk woke up the next morning feeling terrible. He felt as if he had taken advantage of Heechul and he just wanted to disappear off of the face of the earth. He lay for a while thinking about how he was a terrible hyung and leader, so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn’t notice that Heechul was very much awake by now and studying him closely. He jumped when he broke the silence.

“I know what you are thinking. Don’t. You didn’t take advantage of me. If anything, I took advantage of you. You helped me even though it hurt you to do so. You are the best friend and hyung anyone could ever ask for so don’t beat yourself up. Please don’t blame your self,” he finished, looking into the elder’s eyes and trying to convey with them that he meant every word. Eeteuk nodded slowly but he wasn’t entirely convinced. He still felt guilty as hell. Heechul sighed and pulled him in for a hug. Eeteuk buried his face in Heechul’s neck and enjoyed the other’s unique scent of pure Heechul. It felt nice to be the one to be comforted instead of the one doing the comforting for once. Heechul regretted pulling him into a hug however, when the door opened and revealed Siwon. He stood there watching them for a second with a blank face.

“Breakfast is ready,” he said and turned around, slamming the door behind him. They could hear Siwon’s rapid footsteps and then they heard the front door open and close again quickly. Eeteuk looked like he had no clue what just happened. Heechul sighed, looked at the clock (it was almost noon) and got up, Eeteuk following. As expected there was no sign of Siwon once they got out to the kitchen. They ate the food Ryeowook had prepared in silence each in his own thoughts. They helped each other clean up after breakfast so Ryeowook wouldn’t have to do that on top of cooking dinner when he got home later that day.

“Is there anything you want to do? There is still an hour and a half until we have to leave for your appointment with the therapist,” Eeteuk asked. Heechul just shrugged and plopped down on the sofa and the TV. He switched randomly through the channels until he suddenly came to a halt at one of those channels showing celebrity news all day. On the screen was a picture of Hangeng while the obnoxious female MC talked in a voice-over, telling how he was engaged and that the marriage had been pushed forward due to “unknown” reasons. Heechul sat frozen on the spot, unable to even blink his eyes. Eeteuk quickly grabbed the remote and turned off the TV but the damage was done. Heechul started shaking violently and rose slowly to go to the bathroom while Eeteuk looked worriedly at him. The spot had been like a slap in the face and he needed to forget. He needed to get away. As soon as Eeteuk realised where he was going, he jumped up and slung his arms around Heechul to prevent him from hurting himself. Heechul struggled blindly in Eeteuk’s grip but the leader only held the diva closer until Heechul broke down in tears and started hyperventilating. Eeteuk quickly turned him around to make sure they had eye contact while grabbing his over arms tightly.

“Heechul, look at me!” he said sternly with slightly raised voice. He was scared. Heechul looked everywhere but at him as his breathing turned even more frantic. Eeteuk removed his hands from his arms and grabbed both sides of his face gently but still hard enough to keep Heechul’s face in place, and forced him to look at him.

“Calm down, Chullie. Deep breaths. Do it with me,” he said as he took deep breaths which Heechul slowly copied. It took 4 minutes to calm him completely down again so he could breathe freely like before.

“Maybe we should go to the therapist now,” Eeteuk said, mostly to himself but Heechul nodded in agreement. He couldn’t stand being in his own head right now and he needed… He didn’t know what he needed but he hoped with all his heart that the therapist would know.

“I want to do a little experiment with you,” the therapist said. Luckily she had agreed to see Heechul as soon as Eeteuk had explained the situation. Heechul had now explained everything that happened and he felt a little better now that he had told the story from start to now to a person who was not a part of it all. He was sure they had passed the one hour-m