based from labrinth's jealous

***

I sat on the wooden chair with a soft cushion above it. It's wide enough for another person to sit on, must be meant for two people. But today, I'll do this alone.

It wasn't just one afternoon in my cold but cozy room. Not just a lazy morning where I don't have anything else to do, where we don't have anything left to do. It's one of the most special day for everyone we knew.

It's my princess' wedding, Jennie Kim's wedding.

I was still a little intoxicated, drinking straight for a week made me think that I'll die before the wedding but He didn't let me. He must've thought that in order for me to go, I should go through this first and probably die from a heartache or something, I don't know. I just want this to end, to be honest.

I didn't expect to receive a call from her, in the middle of the night when my insomnia just decided to attack. But what came out of the phone left me unable to speak for a day.

"Lisa? You're the closest person in my life and I would really really love to have you in my wedding," Imagine the fireworks in my head going off and blasting mid-air only for the rain to pour when she said, "...as my wedding singer."

Imagine that I thought she was asking me to marry her, how dumb of me, right?

I shook my head slowly, trying to pry my eyes open. They were still bloodshot, crying really does that to people. The saltiness ruins your eyes, making them puffy as a pillow. I tried to cover the eye bags from the sleepless nights using make-up but they were still showing a little so when she asked I told her that I practiced all night.

She never looked this beautiful in my eyes, never in years. Well, maybe once but that was it. Her smile radiates so much happiness that I've never seen before.

So, I wondered, what did I do wrong to not get that?

I cracked my knuckles and straightened my back. I inhaled and exhaled to calm myself. I closed my eyes and told myself that this will end soon, I just have to keep singing.

I looked at the white and black keys. I'd say before that, the white keys exudes happiness and the black ones embodies sadness. We can't keep playing the white ones all the time, sometimes we need the black ones to make it sound pleasing.

Recently, I keep playing the black keys repeatedly.

I coughed once before aligning my hands to the piano and my mouth to the mic.

I'm jealous of the rain
That falls upon your skin
It's closer than my hands have been
I'm jealous of the rain

I'm jealous of the wind
That ripples through your clothes
It's closer than your shadow
Oh, I'm jealous of the wind

And I must say, these lyrics now means a lot to me, this was your favorite, right?

I heard murmurs dying down behind me. I took a quick glance and there she is, looking like how she did back when she first heard me sing a song.

It was for a school performance, I was known to play the piano among my batch and she was a transferee. I remember her l