am i a stalker? does following your every move using my eyes, taking a whiff of your perfume when you pass by, sneaking a glance when you're behind me, and thinking about you every single day make me a stalker? or a creep? do you find that weird? is it awkward?

those are just 0.00001 percent of all the questions i have in my head and every day, there's something new i'd notice about you. that's another question left unanswered. i like talking to people, mostly strangers. they can't judge me like how the others who know me do.

it's funny to think how comfortable i am sharing stories about myself with someone else but when it comes to you, i can't even breathe. the longest thing i've said to you was, "do we have a class today?". that day, they canceled the class and i have no one else to ask but you.

i should've taken the hint that there weren't any because of the emptiness of our classroom but the lack of witnesses encouraged me to take a step behind you and ask nervously. you returned it with a smile, something i still can't fathom at how beautiful it is.

your perfectly aligned teeth, the way your mouth curves around the edges but that famous right eyebrow of yours was what surprised me. they said you unconsciously raise it when you're shy. were you shy when i talked to you? because me, yes. i was.

you don't have a clue how shy i was, how hard it is to keep my lips from smiling, how hard i bit my inner cheeks just so i wouldn't look stupid in front of you, how i took a trip to the bathroom just to fix my appearance before getting near you. you don't have a clue.

and after that, we never talked again. i'm still wondering when will i see your eyes up close again, when will i hear your voice again or when will we ever interact again. is it still possible to happen, or will it take another life for us to face each other again?

sometimes i hear you talking about yourself in a way i never expected you to.

"i look fat."
"you've gotta be kidding, i'm not the prettiest girl here."
"i'm just like everyone else, nothing special."

i wanted to be mad at you for how you talked about yourself was way too harsh.

but i realized you're human. we're bound to have insecurities that only we can see and it's hard to remove such thoughts when it's been permanent for years.

it's sad to see that you're also a prisoner of your mind.

your graduation will soon take place at this school. it is one of the days i dread the most. you, leaving. those words don't fit to be together but it will eventually happen. and for that, i made a plan.

every day you arrive at school at exactly 7:15. not too late nor too early. you check your locker before you go inside your room and sit behind the class. i have thre