LET LOOSE Chapter 28

 

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YURI

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[Day after their first fight]   “Oh God, what am I even doing here?” Yuri whispered to herself as she signed her name on the sparkly, glittery pink sign up sheet, and was immediately accosted at lunch.   “Bro! Why did I see our names on the sign up sheet for the dance committee?” Charlee protested, while the others looked aghast.   “Really, baby?” Hana just about squealed the second they sat down in their usual spot at lunch.   “WHAT?!” Tami squeaked, slamming down her drink so hard that bits of it flew dangerously close to her sweater.   “I know!” Charlee rolled her eyes, looking horrified. And Yuri just kind of wanted to disappear into the concrete below them.   “Baby! This is so exciting! Oh my god! This school doesn’t know what hit them! This is really going to be the best dance ever and will be prepared by a freshman!” Hana continued, looking off dreamily into the distance how she sometimes does. Yuri might be concerned for her health if it wasn’t so on brand.   “Baby, I’ll just talk to the team, okay?” Yuri excused herself and stood up to pull Charlee, Tami and Jae whose names were written as well on the sign up sheet.   “So, I was thinking that this will be the best time for all of you to finally ask Hana’s friends to officially be together. This would be a great opportunity for you.” Yuri explained, as if she was the one who thought about it, and not because of Hana’s suggestion.   “But bro! Besides you and Charlee, I don’t think we’ll be of any help in terms of designing!” Jae reasoned out. “We also have the upcoming finals!”   “I will ask Hana to make Nia, Mona and Maia do study sessions with the three of you, just like what we’re doing.” Yuri offered, “It’s a win-win situation.”   Tami sighed, realizing that it looks like she doesn’t have any choice at the matter. “I swear, Kim Yuri! If you ever pull this kind of stunt again, I will end you.”   Yuri just chuckled and waved it off because she knows that Tami would never really do that. She just looks like she’s evil, but in reality, she’s one of the softest people that she knows.   They then went back to their seats after their discussion.   “Yuri, can you scoot back?” Mona asked, gesturing at Yuri where she sat between her and Hana. Yuri pushed herself back an inch or two to give Mona a clearer access to Hana. “Okay, so since they will be doing the dance committee, the girls were actually concerned if they would really be able to pull it off.” Mona rolled her eyes when Yuri was about to protest. “You know that Jae and Tami obviously don’t know the difference between teal and aqua.”   “Oh god,” Yuri exclaimed while Hana just giggled.   “Don’t worry, Mona. I think Yuri and Charlee can handle them.” Hana then turned to Yuri, “You can put them on something less important, like… seating arrangement or something. And baby, try to be the head of the dance committee.”   “Baby, that’s too much pressure on me!” Yuri protested.   “I’m so excited for this dance! And we obviously would be able to spend some time with you without Yuri following you like a detached thumb!” Mona snorted.   “Ouch, Mona. I’m sitting right here!” Yuri chimed in.   “What? You do. It’s cute, don’t worry. Most of the time, anyway.” Mona responded with a hand-wave in Yuri’s direction.   “What does that even mean? A detached thumb?” Yuri muttered, mostly to herself at this point.   “Probably because you look like a thumb?” Tami piped up from across the table with a smirk, probably to get back to her.   “You know what? Never mind. I, too, am excited to see what we can do for the dance.” Yuri said, squeezing a hand over Hana’s knee. This is something that she really didn’t plan, but would be happy to do if it means that she would be able to make Hana happy.   Come to think of it, they were just arguing about that damn sign up sheet yesterday, and now here they are.   Hana whispered that if it is in any consolation, Yuri would be the world’s cutest thumb, and all she actually managed to do was laugh and press a supportive kiss on Yuri’s cheek.   “I, too, am excited to see Yuri’s sanity slowly unravel as she realizes what she’s gotten herself into,” Nia grinned over the lip of her iced tea.   “Thank you, Nia, as helpful as ever,” Yuri threw back.   “Admit it, you would still ask for our help.” Nia sighed, reaching over to steal a fruit from Jae’s plate.   Because, and only because Yuri knew exactly where this bickering will end, she managed to successfully bite her tongue. This is a practiced dance that Nia had been perfecting over the last months— the next thing that she would bring up is the fact that she’s the one who gave the most help during the time when Yuri was not allowed to see Hana. And that she would be moping around under a gloomy cloud and Hana would be locked in their house if not for Nia. Yuri and Hana were both defenseless against it, because it is true, and it makes them all gooey and grateful. Nia really did talk to Mrs. Kim about them, and reported that Yuri was true to her word.   “Well, if you were so helpful, why don’t you sign up too?” Jae said mockingly, and Yuri was thankful for the change of topic for so many reasons.   “Mmm! Right!” Yuri grinned.   Nia rolled her eyes, “Don’t push it, Jae. If I do that, I’ll strong-arm every single person to vote for a red plaid color scheme, you’d be powerless against it.”   “My god. The hostility. If I weren’t so impressed by your evil ways, I’d be frightened.” Yuri grimaced.   Yuri was met by another eye roll, so she playfully returned the gesture.     ───────── ⬦⬧⬦ ─────────   Yuri’s free period is normally the time after her first class after lunch, which means that usually she’s just hanging out around the school grounds aimlessly when she isn't busy practicing basketball. She was just about to go back to the gym when her phone buzzed in her pocket.  

    Yuri didn’t run to the bleachers, she merely walked faster than was strictly necessary so as to minimize the percentage of the study period not spent with Hana.   “Hey, study buddy.” Hana greeted as Yuri threw her things on the bleachers beside her.   “No, absolutely not,” Yuri rebuked.   “Welcome to the education station,” Hana grinned.   “I will turn right around,” Yuri threatened.   “And leave me all alone here?” Hana pouted.   Yuri hated the smile that forced its way onto her face against her will. She plopped herself down the seat beside Hana.   “You are lucky I am contractually obligated as your girlfriend to pretend this isn’t happening for the sake of our relationship,” Yuri explained.   “Did we sign a contract? I don’t think I signed a contract,” Hana frowned.   “Yes, it’s the same one that says I always get to fetch you and bring you back home unless your parents will pick you up,” Yuri supplied helpfully.   “Ohh, this contract, yes, I have heard of it.My doubt remains that I ever signed it,” Hana teased.   “You signed it in spirit, when you said you love me,” Yuri clarified, suddenly very interested in the chewing gum stuck to the seat below them.   “Oh?”   “Mmhm.”   “So before that, I wasn’t actually obligated to let you pick me from our house and bring me back home, you were just forcing me?” Hana probed, a grin dancing behind her eyes.   “I don’t remember the exact phrasing of the contract,” Yuri shrugged.   “Okay, but considering this is a valid, working contract, I assume this means it has been signed by both parties?” Hana confirmed, biting back a full-blown grin.”   “..yes.”   “And you’re saying that this contract happened when I started to love you?” Hana questioned.   “Yes,” Yuri confirmed quietly.   “That must be why I can’t remember signing it then, it’s been a while,” she smiled softly.   Yuri didn’t even have a choice but to avoid looking at Hana at that point, her eyes pointed directly upwards in a failed attempt to stop the tears burning at her eyes. With a defeated groan, Yuri turned to look at her perfect, adorable girlfriend, sitting cross legged next to her. Before she could lose the courage, she took a deep breath, looked Hana straight in the eyes and said, “You do know I loved you first, right?”   Hana’s responding smile could fix every problem, cure every illness. Yuri almost had to lie down on the cold, steel beam of the bleacher to avoid passing out just looking at it, it was like looking into the sun.   Hana reached over and kissed Yuri with a little bit more of everything than she’d usually allow on school property. “I did pick up what you were saying when you confessed about that, yes. It’s uhm, very nice to hear it again, though.”   “I love you, Kim Hana.” Yuri laughed-sobbed, pulling Hana with a hand on her chin.   “I love you, Kim Yuri,” Hana grinned as they broke apart. “Even if I would need to fight all of your fangirls.”   “To defend my honor?” Yuri added with a chuckle.   “ To defend your honor and theirs,” Hana agreed.

 

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MONA

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It may sound cliché, but thinking back, how can one forget about the most beautiful girl that you’ve ever seen who accidentally bumped you on your way to one of your classes on your first day of school?

 

It was quite awkward if she’s being honest, especially because the girl was holding her hand effectively stopping her from falling on her . But she still wished that she could see her again.

 

The pretty girl was staring at her with an expression that she couldn't read and said, “I’m sorry, are you okay?”

 

“Uh, yeah… I am.” Mona said, pulling her hand away not because she wanted to, but because she felt the shyness kick in.

 

The girl’s friends suddenly called out, but Mona was too in a daze to hear it clearly. She’s sure that the stranger was saying things to her but she must’ve looked like a lunatic, because when she blinked, the girl was already walking away.

 

Just a sight of the girl’s beautiful face made her feel like this, and her face flushed because of how embarrassed she felt.

 

‘Damn, even her back was so pretty.’ was what her mind told her that day.

 

It definitely lifted her mood despite the fact that she’s annoyed because she’s already hungry due to the fact that she went to school early for nothing. And even if she looked like an idiot, she still hoped to see the girl.

 

Mona never knew she would be like this so attracted to a stranger.

 

Among her friends, she’s one of the loudest aside from Nia and she believes that she’s content with just having her friends around. She’s not like Maia and Hana who were hopeless romantics. She was quick to tease them whenever possible, but personally, she’s much more interested with food.

 

But this encounter definitely did something on her heart.

 

As they arrived at the gym for the basketball tryouts, she noticed a familiar face but she shrugged it off because they were busy teasing Hana. But then she was shocked to see that the girl was among the students who wanted to join the basketball team. What shocked her the most though, was that she was one of Yuri’s friends. This is news to her because the time that Yuri went to their table and introduced themselves, the girl was not with them.

 

I guess it made the most sense, she’s tall.

 

She couldn't help but cheer loudly when the pretty girl scored first and celebrated with Yuri.

 

She remembered asking Maia the name of the girl.

 

“You don’t know her? She’s friends with Yuri.” Maia whispered in her ears, “Her name’s Tami. Why are you asking?”

 

“Oh, nothing. I just want to know the names of the players.” Thankfully, Maia accepted her reasoning.

 

At that time, she was not sure what’s the real deal with Hana and Yuri, and she was just relieved to see that the girl was not awkward towards her. She’s sure that the girl remembers her, but she chose not to say anything, and for that, Mona was grateful.

 

Although she likes teasing, she doesn’t like it when it’s directed to her.

 

So, she did her best to stop her feelings from showing because she knows that she probably just admires the girl’s look and nothing more.

 

By the time that they hung out after the try outs, she was zoning out and just trying to focus on her food even if Hana was talking about how she and Yuri met.

 

Days and weeks passed, and they were just civil with each other.

 

The incident was never brought up either.

 

She thought that was the end of it, but of course it won’t be the case.

 

Little by little they became comfortable with each other, most especially the first night that they all watched a movie. Tami was so attentive to her, but not to the point where she got uncomfortable.

 

She dismissed it and told herself that it was just a coincidence that they were always paired to do things, like decorating or bringing things from the kitchen.

 

Until game day happened.

 

Shock was an understatement when Tami gave her her basketball uniform after she complained that she was the only one who doesn’t have one. She remembered that Yuri gave hers to Hana and then Nia and Maia got theirs from Jae and Charlee respectively.

 

She was frozen at the spot, but Tami just draped the jacket on her and she was not able to protest anymore.

 

Her heart was pounding so hard because of the gesture, and she’s sure that she’s blushing. She’s just thankful that her friends were busy with their crushes and that they were not paying attention to her.

 

Or so she thought.

 

“So… since when did you start having a crush on Tami? I actually noticed it before but I know that you don’t like to be teased that’s why I didn’t say anything.” Hana suddenly whispered to her before the game began.

 

Her best friend just gave her an encouraging smile before shifting her focus on the game, but it’s clear that whatever it is that she’s feeling for Tami was something that she would not be able to hide anymore.

 

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Mona found it pretty strange.

 

She and Tami were not exactly dating, but they might as well have been. Every moment of the last couple of weeks of her life has been spent with Tami.

 

They met accidentally when Tami bumped into her, and when she looked back, yeah, it sure looked pretty cliché. A loud kid like her and a quiet Tami quickly became friends, and soon they were pushing the line of more than that.

 

She also found it pretty strange that she started getting quiet and shy around the girl. She thought that they were past that stage. Past the awkward first meetings and the shy, quiet mumbles. But something in her changed.

 

And it was when she was over at Tami’s that she finally figured out why. But not on purpose.

 

Mona is knee-deep in her project when someone taps her shoulder. She pulls out one earbud with her left hand and turns her head over her shoulder to search for the source, her pen held still in her right hand. She had been answering her homeworks for the past hour.

 

“I’ll be right back, I have to go get something.” Tami says as she walks out of the room.

 

She looks like she was nervous about something, but Mona just shrugged it off and while she’s waiting, she started cleaning up the notes that they are using for their study session. She pulls open the drawer where Tami keeps her notes, but when she picks up the notes there, something falls off.

 

A white envelope with her name on it, surrounded by little hearts that’s staring right at her.

 

Completely forgetting the mess, Mona picked the envelope and went back to the bed, turning the item over in her hand.

 

Mona’s heart feels like it’s about to beat out of her chest as she rips open the flap, pulling out a page, covered in the dark blur of ink.

 

Her hands started shaking, but Tami suddenly appeared by the doorway.

 

She seems to be holding a plethora of items behind her back on one hand, while the other holds a guitar. Mona could tell there was a gift bag and some sort of piece of paper. She set the letter down for a second, and pulled her other earbud out.

 

Mona suddenly forgot her nervousness caused by the letter that she saw earlier and didn’t realize a smile had creeped on her face at the sight. Tami’s long hair was pulled into a high ponytail, and her brows were all scrunched up, her eyes looking directly at the envelope that she was holding earlier.

 

God… she’s so cute.

 

“H-hey, Mona. What’re you doing with that?” she gestures at the time, trying so hard not to seem flustered.

 

Then she snatched the letter away, and then gave her the bag of items that she was hiding earlier.

 

In it was another handwritten letter.

 

“B-before you open it, I want to… to play something for you.” Tami managed to say.

 

"What is—?" Mona was cut off when Tami started playing.

 

[Please play - I Wish You Were Mine by Loving Caliber]

Link: https://open.spotify.com/track/4SwZGwJIUM1l3o4ExTxWt1?si=950e0cf695fb4fd1

 

I look at you, you make me blind

Why do you have to be so beautiful all the time?

I know I can't be with you

It's killing me to see you with someone else

What to do?

 

Mona’s eyes widen, hanging wide open. After the first rocky verse, Mona was pretty sure that her face was red all over. It seems that Tami took it as a good sign as she relaxes the intensity on the chords.

 

What is happening? She can’t help but ask herself.

 

Now I am in the corner and watching you smile

Watching you smile

And I can't get over you

I'm losing my mind

 

All of the things that I wish I could tell you

Every time when you're passing me by

I fall in love, there's something about you

I wish you were mine

 

And if I only could be there to hold you

It feels like I stop breathing when you're around

I'm in love, there's something about you

I wish you were mine

 

In front of her is Tami who was obviously so nervous but trying her best to convey the feelings that she wanted Mona to feel. While Mona gripped the bed sheet tighter as more red started to bloom on her cheeks at what she’s seeing right now.

 

So many times I wanted to

Put my arms around you just to be close to you

And in my head it's just you and I

And I don't know why I feel this way

 

Now I'm in the corner watching you smile

Watching you smile, yeah

Now I can't get over you

I'm losing my mind, but

 

Tami can’t help the full-blown smile that crosses her face because of Mona’s reaction. Tami’s intense gaze never strayed away from her eyes, keeping them locked up. She’s not even looking down on the guitar anymore as she seems to gain full confidence now.

 

All of the things that I wish I could tell you

Every time when you're passing me by

I fall in love, there's something about you

I wish you were mine

And if I only could be there to hold you

It feels like I stop breathing when you're around

I'm in love, there's something about you

I wish you were mine

 

Getting over her shock, Mona took one of the pillows and covered her face. She let out a noise of embarrassment.

I wish you were mine

I wish you were mine

'Cause every time

You pass me by

I fall in love

I fall in love

 

“What are you doing?!” Mona finally said after a while.

 

“Singing to you, obviously,” Tami responded, her hands continuously playing the chords.

 

Indeed, Chou Tami singing in front of her was a sight no one wanted to miss. It’s not everyday that Tami would show her true feelings, let alone sing a love song, like a serenade…

 

There's something about you

I wish you were mine

 

“You’re lucky, Mona.” Tami said as she placed the guitar on the floor.

 

“Lucky?”

 

“You won’t see me being willing to embarrass myself in front of anyone, just to serenade someone into possibly accepting my confession…” Tami smiled, playfully touching her lips with her finger.

 

Mona’s eyes widen, turning to look at Tami, staring straight into a pair of determined yet full of love in her eyes.

 

With shaking hands curled into fists and a blushing face, Mona stood up from the bed and ran towards the only girl that she had a crush on, and in just a split second, she’s in Tami’s arms.

 

Mona pulled away. Tami touched foreheads with the red faced Mona, their lips a breath away.

 

“You’re red.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“You look cute when you blush.”

 

“Shut up!”

 

“I’m sorry for just saying this now…”

 

“Shut up already.”

 

“Read the letter.”

 

“Shut— huh?”

 

Tami gestured for her to get the letter inside the gift bag. Her hand began shaking as she began to read.

 

Mona,

 

Words don’t even begin to describe the way I feel about you. You are everything I didn’t know I needed until I had you close to me. You are so wonderful and you manage to make me laugh, no matter how sad or angry I’m feeling.

 

If I could, I would tell you that I love you a thousand times a day. I would hold you in my arms and kiss your forehead and tell you exactly how important you are to me.

 

From the moment that I knew who you were, to right now. I guess, I need to have the courage to say it.

 

I love you, Hirai Mona. I love you so much that my heart feels like it will burst if I don’t tell you. I want to say it forever because it sounds so right.

 

I love you, I love you, I love you.

 

And I mean it, I really do. Because to me, you are perfect.

 

You are perfect, and I love you. I am in love with you.

 

— Tami

 

“Mona, you feel the same way too, right?”

 

Instead of answering, Mona asked, “What is the other letter all about?”

 

Tami chuckled awkwardly, “Oh. Yeah, that. It’s just the same thing, it was like a draft. I’ve had that in there for a while now. I was just trying to find the perfect timing to give it to you, and I sure don’t want to give it to you during the school dance.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

“Okay, good,” Tami says as she pulls Mona for another hug. “Or else I think I might have embarrassed myself with all the ‘I love yous’ in there.”

 

When they pulled away, she wordlessly took out a poster board from under the table. It was written in her handwriting and upside down.

 

Mona attempts to read it with a turned head and a squint before giving up and saying, “It’s upside down.”

 

“Oh,” Tami lets out an embarrassed laugh and flips it right side up, “Sorry.”

 

Mona quickly reads the card to herself and her smile grows even bigger when it occurs to her what’s going on. The card said, “I’ll be very happy if you would say yes to my invitation to go to the dance with me. Will you?” There was a smiley face at the end, and a tiny drawn out heart.

 

“Will you go to the dance with me, Mo?” Tami asks, with a nervous smile. “Please?”

 

Mona didn’t realize she’s blushing again before nodding and squeaking out, “Y-yeah, I will.”

 

She then steps closer to her to give her another big hug, then pointed at the gift bag that was sitting on the bed. Tami guided her to the bed and made her open the bag. In it was a clear-wrapped bouquet of flowers. Daisies and Freesias are what she could recognize among the batch.

 

“There’s more inside,” Tami said.

 

Mona looks down in the bag and sees a teddy bear.

 

“I wanted to get you a teddy bear with a recorded message, but Yuri beat me to it, and gave something like that to Hana, so I just went ahead and brought a simple bear. I just noticed how you loved those plush toys. And I thought it’s cute… I hope you do too.”

 

“It’s adorable!” Mona exclaims as she pulls the bear out of the bag and hugs it.

 

This is it. This is what love feels like. She never wants to feel it without Tami.

 

 

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CHARLEE

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