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HANA

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A couple of months has passed since Yuri told Hana that she wanted them to be beside each other until the end. And in those past months, Hana tried her best to start telling Yuri what she feels too, or even try to tell the girl what she really wants, which is for them to go through this phase together. But she just can’t find the time to say it.

She called it ‘phase’ because she knows that this confusion, this uncertainty, will definitely last and as soon as they were able to recognize what they both feel, then it would not be an issue for the both of them, right?

If Hana would be the one to decide, she wanted to dive right into the relationship and then they could figure it out later, but then again, when she heard it from her mom, that it’s still better to be careful since their friendship is at stake, she decided to take a pause and try to check their feelings first.

One more thing that she noticed, after Yuri blatantly blurted out the words that she wanted to say after the game, was that the people who usually greet her or try to get close to her became aloof or sometimes she sees them going away whenever they see Yuri approaching. As if they are making sure that Yuri would not get angry at them for getting closer to her.

She asked Yuri about it, but she also doesn’t have any idea what is happening as well. She claims that she has no hand in the situation.

For some reason, it feels that other people are afraid to meddle with whatever they have right now, or they are just plain afraid of Yuri. And Hana has mixed emotions because of it. She likes it because some students really cross the lines before, but now it’s a little peaceful. The only downside is that she doesn't have anyone to compare her feelings to, since Yuri is the only one who manages to stay beside her the whole day.

Well, no. There’s an exception.

Jiyeon.

It seems that she’s doing the opposite to what others are trying to do. Jiyeon wanted to shoot her shot, before Yuri sealed the deal.

She suddenly sent her letters or food or gifts. She’s always trying to be near Hana. Her friends that she sometimes blushes because of Jiyeon. And Hana doesn’t know if it’s because she’s feeling giddy or embarrassed because of the situation.

Two basketball players were fighting over her. Well, not really fighting, because they both seem to avoid each other at all cost. Must be because they don’t want Hana to see them fighting physically.

“It’s a smart move for her, really.” Mona commented while munching on some snacks, “Once Yuri figures out what she really wants, then she would not have any chance at all. That’s probably why she is trying now. Besides, it already looks like you like Yuri more than her.”

“She’s so brave for that.” Nia teased.

“Oh my god, did you see the look on Yuri’s face when Jiyeon gave you chocolates and a teddy bear?” Maia recalled, making Hana roll her eyes.

“Yeah! She looked like she would want to throw those things away.” Mona pointed, and giggled.

Honestly, Hana didn’t see that. She actually thought that Yuri doesn’t care that much, which is more confusing for her. “But now, I am getting more confused than ever!” Hana protested. “This is not helping!”

“In which part are you confused, though? Are you confused about your feelings with Yuri? Or you’re saying that someone else gets your attention other than her?” Jia asked meaningfully, and all of her other friends were looking at her, waiting for a response.

“I don’t know!” Hana pouted.

“Do you like Jiyeon too?” Jia pushes.

“Jiyeon?”

Now, that is something that Hana was not sure how to answer. Then she remembers how the girl practically tried to ask her out before, but she was just too dumb to understand what it meant. It was only a couple of days ago when Jiyeon talked to her and told her straight into her face that she likes her that she realized what happened before.

Something that Yuri was unable to do, yet.

Jiyeon looks so sure about what she feels. She even insisted on it.

What’s more frustrating is that, even if Yuri saw the whole thing, she just looked at the two talking and did not show any emotions. And Hana was unable to decipher what that behavior meant. But then, her friends tells her that they are seeing differently.

Does she not feel any jealousy at all? Then if so, does she even like me for real?

Or is she not bothered by Jiyeon?

Is she keeping her anger in?

So many thoughts ran through Hana’s head because of all the things that were happening all at once.

One more thing that’s bothering her is the unusual closeness that Yuri and Ji Eun are having right now. She clearly sees how much Ji Eun blushes whenever Yuri jokes or whenever she says something awesome. It’s unclear if Yuri knows about this and just refuses to acknowledge it or if she really doesn’t have a clue.

Not to mention that Ji Eun seemed to be doing some action too because she learned that the girl gave Yuri an embroidered beanie. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes when Ji Eun complimented Yuri when she used the said beanie.

It was as if all Ji Eun is trying her patience nowadays, because even if she and Yuri are together and talking, she would literally try and get Yuri’s attention, although discreetly, she notices it and annoys the hell out of Hana. But since she doesn’t have the right to be angry, she’s not saying anything. She just simply focuses on something else, because if not, the pain in her chest would not subside.

The only good thing for the past months was that Yuri seemed more attentive to her than ever.

Yes, she quiets down whenever someone would try and talk to Hana, but when they are together, Yuri makes sure that everything that Hana needs would be provided. And whenever it is Hana’s breaks, Yuri is surely waiting outside her room.

“Are you even attending your classes? Or are you just stalking me the whole day?” Hana teases Yuri then moves to hook their arms together while leaning on Yuri’s shoulder the whole time that they are walking towards the cafeteria.

“I just want to make sure that I get to spend most of my breaks with you, even if there are annoying people around.” Yuri even rolled her eyes.

“By annoying, do you mean Jiyeon? And it’s not as if we’re not spending our time together.” Hana replied, while stopping in the middle of the corridor, cupping Yuri’s cheeks. “You know that you will always be the first person that I want to spend my time with.”

Yuri looked away and blushed, “Really? How about Jiyeon?”

“Are you telling me that I should spend time with her?” Hana teases as she slowly grabs Yuri’s hands while they continue to walk.

She’s really wondering what would be the difference when they finally figure out what they feel? Their friends always tease them that they basically look like a couple already. They are holding hands, they don’t have any issues with kissing each other’s faces (not on the lips, of course), and they even hug each other.

Then Hana remembers that this would be the perfect time to tell Yuri what she wants to happen.

“Yuri-yah,” She started and the other looked at her, “I— I wanted to tell you what I think I want to do, will that be alright?”

“Of— of course!” Yuri answered, looking flustered and nervous at the same time. She wonders what the girl was thinking right now.

She looked around, and it’s a good thing that only a few people are at the cafeteria right now, so they would somehow get some privacy.

“Uhm, so… I— my mom, she told me that I should tell you how I feel, and you know… I was unable to respond to you when you told me about your feelings last time.” Hana looked down, playing with their intertwined fingers. “And I realized that there would be a lot of risks and sacrifices if we are to continue with whatever this is that we’re doing.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, Hana. I also understand why they are now putting ground rules when I’m staying at your place. And you can entertain other people, because I don’t have the right to be angry, we’re not together. If you want to explore what you really feel, I guess I’ll try to be okay with it. But I— I will focus on you.” Yuri said, thinking about how Hana would probably ask them to reconsider, even if there’s really nothing to consider as of the moment.

“No! No… That’s not what I wanted to say,” Hana sighed, “Hear me out first, please?”

Yuri nodded in understanding, “Sorry.”

“Also, I don’t want you to entertain people too!” Hana exclaimed, and Yuri chuckled but let her continue, “What I’m trying to say was, I am afraid that if we have any misunderstanding, then we would be losing each other, and I don’t want to lose you, Yuri.”

“I don’t want to lose you too, that’s why I will try to be truthful to you, and to make sure that you will be assured of me.”

“But how can we really assure each other when we are not sure of our feelings yet?” Hana pouted.

“If there’s one thing that I’m sure of, Hana, it is the way I don’t ever want to be apart from you. And I don’t feel that with anyone else.” Yuri assured her and kissed the back of her hand. “It may be too early to say that this is something more than mere admiration, but all I can think about is you. I can’t seem to shake the thoughts of your smile or your laugh. And it is really getting to absurd levels!” Yuri was whining, but at the same time she’s smiling like an idiot, and Hana wasn’t feeling like she’s complaining about it. “I even asked Seul about it and she just tapped my shoulder and told me that I should brace myself!”

Yuri even raised her free hand in exasperation, releasing the pent up frustration that she’s having. “What does that even mean? ‘Brace myself’? For what?”

Hana giggled again, and squeezed Yuri’s hand. “It’s frustrating, right? June is not helping at all too.”

Yuri sighed, “Yeah. But I’d rather be frustrated than not to have you beside me at all.”

Hana looked down because she’s certain that her face looked so much like a tomato right now. Stupid blushing.

“You and your words!” Hana said as she cupped her face to somehow lessen the blush.

“Hey, it’s true. I am not just saying that to get a reaction from you.” Yuri added.

“Whatever!” Hana sighed, “As I was saying, I am not sure what would really change or what it is that we actually need to check to know if we like each other. Do we need a checklist? Do we go on dates? Do we compare it to other people? What are we supposed to do, Yuri-yah? I wanted to just do whatever but I also don’t want us to be ruined because of impulsiveness.”

“A date sounds good.” Yuri said beaming.

A date?

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“Dress comfortably, she said. How comfortable should I go? Ugh!” Hana mutters as she looks at her wardrobe.

Since the day Yuri mentioned that they should date, she couldn’t stop herself from thinking about how it would feel to be on a romantic date with Yuri. Sure, they hangout often with just the two of them, but it’s purely platonic. And now that the day has finally come, she felt herself getting nervous by the minute.

“Oh my god! Get yourself together, it’s just Yuri! Yuri, your best friend!” Hana even slapped herself gently to release all the tension that she’s feeling.

Yeah, my best friend who happens to have special feelings for me.

Sana knocked and opened her door gently, “Hana, honey. Yuri is already downstairs and your mama is grilling her. Are you still not ready?”

“I’m ready, mom!”

When Hana went downstairs, she saw that Yuri and her mama Dahyun were still talking, but since Yuri looks calm and collected, she thought that it must not be that serious.

Right?

Yuri’s automatic smile warmed Hana’s heart. This is not the first time that she saw this look on Yuri whenever she approaches but everything hits differently now.

Her mom fussed over her and wanted to take photos, so she agreed. While her mom Dahyun and Yuri were just watching them lovingly. Yuri was conversing with her mom, and also teasing her with her poses.

Her mama though was a little quiet, and just observing the scenario before her. It is obvious by the gentle look in her face that her mama was a little concerned because this is the first time that they experienced letting their daughter go, most especially for romantic reasons, but she’s just happy that her parents are somehow supportive and did not ask her to turn Yuri away.

Hana couldn’t help but want to assure her mama so she walked towards her.

“I’ll be fine, ma.” Hana said, as she hugged her mother.

“I know, princess. I’m just— feeling emotional. You’re already a grown up.” Dahyun said, her voice cracking a little, kissing the top of her head.

“Oh, baby.” Sana immediately went beside her wife and hugged her too.

Yuri must’ve sensed the situation because she bowed her head and said, “I will make sure that I’ll bring her back happier and more importantly, safe.”

Dahyun smiled at Yuri’s gesture and tapped her friend’s shoulder. “I’m holding you onto that.”

“I promise, ma’am!”

Yuri then helped her get into the car, and Dahyun walked around to the driver’s seat and talked to the driver as well.

“Are you sure you did not forget anything?” Yuri asked before they said their goodbyes to Hana’s parents.

“I’m sure.”

“Okay, then.” Yuri said, then turned to Hana’s parents. “Aunties, we’ll go now. I’ll bring her back before her curfew.”

Sana just smiled at Yuri and waved them goodbye, before the driver started driving.

“So where are we going?” Hana couldn’t help but ask, while tugging the sleeve of Yuri’s hoodie.

“You’ll see soon enough, baby.” Yuri smiled

“But—”

As Hana began to protest, she felt a reassuring hand on her waist, gently pulling her closer. As the car pulled away farther and farther from her home.

“Will you tell me now?”

“Nope.”

“Please?” She looked at Yuri and used all her charms.

“That’s not going to work, baby— it’s a surprise.”

She grumbles almost the entire way there, staring sulkily out the window of the car, their fingers twined together in Yuri’s lap.

As Yuri seems determined not to tell her anything, Hana just rested her head contentedly against Yuri’s shoulder. The strong sound of Yuri’s heartbeat grounded her and her eyes fluttered close.

Then she heard Yuri chuckle after a couple of minutes, while using her phone, typing something.

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