I’m currently in one of the cafés near the university. Books and papers filled the table on the booth I’m currently staying at. I’m busy taking down notes on my notebook to be able to remember what I’ve read.

Hyejin and Byulyi asked me to study with them in the library for the upcoming major exams. I want to. It’s where we always stay to study, but it’s also the twenty seventh. I told them that I’ll either stay in the dorm or follow them later in the library but I have to meet Yong first. I didn’t tell them her name though and only said that I’m meeting a friend. They got so used to it, so they just easily brushed it off.

I already texted Yong a while ago that I’ll be meeting her in the café. While waiting for her, I used the time to study and review for my exams.

Someone suddenly slid on the booth beside me. I didn’t notice who it was because I was so engrossed in studying that all I could do was softly yelped and jumped on my seat. Arms were around my waist next before I felt something warm on my neck.

I froze for a second before I slowly relaxed when I realized that it was Yong. I smiled and wrapped my arms around her, hugging her back, before I closed my eyes and buried my face on her hair, inhaling her scent and feeling her warmth that I missed so much.

“I missed you” she whispered before I heard her yawn, warming my neck and tickling it.

I smiled even wider. I’m usually the first one to say this to her and initiate the hug the moment we meet again. I like that she initiated everything this time.

“I missed you too” I whispered and started caressing my hand on her short hair, her weight leaning more on me. “Is there something wrong? Why do you look so tired?”

She shook her head and said, “Nothing. Everything’s fine already”

I gently pulled her head slowly, unconvinced of her, before I removed the sunglasses she’s wearing and placed it on the table. My eyebrows furrowed as I stared at her eyes that looked so tired. I pouted at her when I saw the bags that were weighing down below her eyes while she gave me a soft smile. I cupped her cheek and leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

She sighed the moment my lips touched her forehead. “Are you checking my temperature?”

I slightly pulled back to whisper, “Yes.” Then I kissed her forehead again. I have no reason to kiss her other than I want to and it would be weird if I just did that without any reason, so I lied. I think she could see past through my lies though because there’s no reason for me to check her temperature. It’s not like she’s sick like when she took care of me when I was.

“How was it?” she asked as I pulled away from her.

I stared at her intently while I caressed my thumb on her cheek tenderly. “You don’t feel like you’re sick. Then why are you so tired? Was it because of work?” I asked worriedly.

She sat up straighter, forcing me to remove my hold on her, as she said in between a yawn, “I got home at three in the morning last night. I’m just a little bit sleepy. Don’t worry”

I giggled at her, finding her adorable. I could barely figure her words out when her voice was half filled with air when she spoke. She reached a hand and pinched my cheek as she smiled at me. Her eyes were still sparkling despite the exhaustion in them.

She pointed at the books in front of me and asked, “Busy?”

My shoulders dropped right away as I pulled my glasses off my face. I placed it down on the table while I leaned back and rubbed my palms on my face. I dropped my hands down and frowned at her as I said, “Yes. Exams are coming up and I need to study. You can go home and sleep if you want to. I don’t think we could do anything today”

“I’m good. I’ll just sit here beside you. Don’t mind me and just focus on studying, okay?” she said as she patted my head while a smile was slowly forming on my lips. “We should eat lunch first before you go back to studying”

I smiled so wide and wrapped my arms around her again as I buried my face on her neck. “Thank you” I whispered.

I felt her arms around me right away before she asked, “What for?”

“For understanding”

I heard her chuckle while she rubbed her hand on my back. I sighed heavily and hugged her tighter while she said, “That was nothing. Let’s go eat. I’m famished”

After eating lunch, Yong stuck to her word and was just sitting beside me while I went back to my books. I was distracted at first because I became conscious that she might be bored just sitting beside me. I would glanced at her every time I heard her yawn but she would just smile at me before resuming on playing with her phone.

At some point, Yong stood up, which made me worried right away. I thought she wanted to go back to her house already. I sighed in relief and went back to studying when I saw her walking towards the counter. A few minutes of having her beside me, I slowly got used to it and went back to completely focused on studying.

She’d feed a cheesecake she bought. When she’d hear me groan from frustration, she’d rub her hand on my back to comfort me or sometimes pull me in a hug. Then I would go back to studying and she’d go back to playing with her phone again.

I want to kiss her forehead for being so supportive but that would be weird so I would just tighten my hug on her. It felt like when she held me, all the energy I consumed was back to me again, and it was all because of her.

“Yongsun”

I looked up when I heard someone call Yong’s name. The woman looked surprised while my eyebrows twitched when Yong placed her phone on the table and hurriedly moved out of the booth. They seemed to know each other just from Yong’s reaction.

I watched Yong open her arms so wide while the woman who called her earlier kissed her cheek. I frowned when I saw Yong kiss her cheek as well. They seemed to really know each other from that.

Then they hugged each other tightly, probably tighter than all the hugs I received from Yong. The woman cupped Yong’s cheek while Yong pouted at her. The woman said something to Yong, but I wasn’t able to catch that when all I could hear were my heart pounding so loud and my heavy breaths.

They looked so sweet. Yong never acted like that when I’m with her. She always looked so calm and composed.

Yong had her face on the woman’s neck now while the woman whispered something to Yong, probably something sweet. I saw Yong laugh at her before she pulled the woman on the table across the booth I’m staying in.

I looked away when I felt a huge pain in my chest. I furrowed my eyebrows and tried to go back to studying but my mind would always wander to the two of them. Then I closed my eyes and gripped my pen when I heard the woman say I love you to Yong. Everything felt so overwhelming when I heard Yong say it back to her.

I have no knowledge of her relationships outside myself. I certainly don’t have the right to be mad if she’s already in a relationship or if this woman is Yong’s girlfriend. That is good news that Yong is into women, but it was ruined right away if she’s already in love.

Yong and I are friends. Only. I don’t have the right to be mad, but I am. Dammit, I am. I’m mad and I couldn’t stop myself from getting mad. I couldn’t go back to studying if they continued to whisper on the table beside me.

I closed all the books on my table. I placed them all in my bag, my back to them.

“I’ll see you. Be safe. I love you” I heard Yong say and that completely broke everything deep in me. I don’t even know why I’m acting like this. I don’t understand myself, but I am. I couldn’t seem to function properly and all I wanted is to be as far as possible away from Yong.

“Are you already done studying?” Yong asked, addressing me now while I zipped my bag shut.

I stood up and lifted my bag before I inserted my arms in my bag’s straps. “No. I’ll continue in my dorm. You can go back home now”

Before I could move out of the booth, she moved closer to me, trapping me inside as she held my shoulders. Then she cupped my cheeks while she stared at me intently. “What’s wrong?”

Everything’s wrong, Yong. Everything in me is so messy now.

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine. I should go now” I said as I tried to find a way to push past her, but she’s blocked my way perfectly.

“Would you prefer to study in your dorm? Do you want to stay there? We could stay there if that’s what you want” she said frantically while I just stared at her. “Are you not feeling well?” she asked worriedly. She leaned forward and kissed my forehead before she whispered, “You don’t seem to have a fever”

I closed my eyes and gulped when I felt her soft lips on my forehead. I loosened my grip on the straps of my bag. Her kiss opened a gate in me and flushed out all the anger I’ve been feeling earlier.

She kissed my forehead again before she said, “Your temperature feels normal”

I sighed heavily while my shoulders drooped, losing the tension I didn’t realize I was feeling until she kissed me. “I just wanted to go back to my dorm,” I whispered.

She rubbed her thumbs on my cheeks and said, “Okay. We’ll go back to your dorm. Is there anything else you want?”

“You don’t need to accompany me. You’re tired from work. You should rest, Yong” I whispered to her but she ignored that.

She grabbed her purse, sunglasses, and phone on the table before she held my hand. She walked us out of the café and headed to the university as she muttered, “I could only see you once a month, and sometimes a few times a month, Wheein. I don’t care if we won’t do anything. I just want to spend time with you”

I sighed while I allowed her to drag me back to the university. I’m glad and relieved when I heard the conviction in her voice. At least I’m not the only one who felt that desire to spend time with her as well.

I still don’t know who that woman she talked to earlier. I still don’t know who I am to her. I still don’t know if she liked me. I still have a lot of questions, but I don’t need that as of the moment. I still have upcoming exams to prepare for and I’m still spending time with Yong. I’ll savor that moment for now.

She suddenly pulled me aside before we could reach the front entrance of the university. She looked at me, studying me intently before she asked, “Don’t you want to spend time with me anymore?”

“I do” I whispered, answering her right away.

She smiled and nodded at me before she walked us to the university. When we got inside the university, she dropped her hold on my hand and followed behind me as we walked to the dorm building.

When I sneaked her in the first time , I was nervous when we trudged the path to the dorm building. Right now, we just walked so casually without even being on guard.

I pulled my keys in the bag and unlocked the door to our room. “Hyejin is studying in the library with Byulyi. No one will still know that I sneaked you in here” I said to her as I pushed the door open.

“Okay” she said as we moved inside the dorm.

I kicked my shoes while Yong ped her boots. We placed our shoes by the shoe cabinet before we walked further inside the room. I headed to my study table while Yong walked to my bed. I pulled out all my books again and saw Yong placing her things on the bed beside my pillow.

“Whee… Can I borrow your sweatshirt?” Yong asked while removing the blazer she’s wearing before she sat on the bed.

“Yeah. You can just grab one from my cabinet” I said as I sat down on the chair by my study table.

“Can I borrow the one that you’re wearing?”

I glanced at her and saw her pointing at me. I looked down on my black sweatshirt before I stared at her and pointed at my shirt. “You want this one?”

She nodded as she pulled her legs up on the bed, crossing them in front of her. I stood up and walked towards my cabinet to grab a shirt before I headed to the bathroom to change. I sighed in relief and patted myself for wearing a newly washed shirt. I walked out of the bathroom and saw her smiling so wide when I handed her my sweatshirt.

“Thank you” she said, putting on my shirt while I sat on my chair again.

I smiled and glanced at Yong when I heard her yawn so loudly. She’s already lying comfortably on my bed while she stared at me in her half-lidded eyes, clearly still exhausted from work. I grabbed her hand and intertwined our fingers as I asked, “Do you want to take a nap while I study?”

She nodded as she closed her eyes. “Yeah… Wake me up if you’re already hungry, so we can eat dinner together”

“Okay” I whispered and rubbed my thumb on the back of her hand, lulling her to sleep.

I held on to her hand tightly when I felt her fingers slowly losing their strength. I stared at her face until all I could hear from her were her soft snores. Then I bent down and slowly lifted our joined hands. I closed my eyes and kissed the back of her hand.

I placed our locked hands on my lap before I leaned closer to her. I softly kissed her temple before I whispered, “Sleep well, Yong”

I sat straight again and stared at her sleeping face before I sighed heavily. I grabbed my phone and plugged my earphones in it with one hand because there’s no way I’m removing my hold on Yong’s hand. I hummed to the song softly and returned to studying while still holding Yong’s hand. It’s difficult but still manageable.

I got so lost in studying and in listening to music that I didn’t realize there were already other people in the dorm. I only know that Hyejin and Byulyi were in the dorm when Hyejin suddenly yanked out my right earbud and whispered right into my ear, “Wheein”

I yelped and jumped from my seat, almost falling out of my chair, before I hurriedly covered my mouth. I stared at them with wide eyes before I turned to Yong. I accidentally tightened my hold on her hand that stirred her from sleep.

“So” Hyejin said while I frantically motioned for her to shut .

They busted me sneaking Yong here. I’m not yet ready to be interrogated.

“Shh” I whispered while they smiled at me mischievously. “Shut up. Just don’t make any sound” I whispered nervously.

“You’re the one who’s making a lot of sound though” Byulyi deadpanned, making me pout at her.

I turned to Yong and held my breath as I waited to see if she’d wake up from the commotion. I slowly sighed and stood up from my chair. I took off my earphones and placed it on my study table before I walked closer to Yong.

“Are you going to tell us what happened here?” Hyejin asked behind me while I softly groaned and slowly untangled my fingers from Yong. 

I placed her hand on the bed just as I heard footsteps coming towards me. I hurriedly turned around and reached both of my hands to them, stopping them from moving closer to Yong. I waved my arms and blocked Yong from their view in case they'd wake her up while they pursued and fought against my blocks.

“Don’t stay too close” I muttered and tried to push them back but they kept on moving and peeking at Yong over my shoulders.

“Let me see,” Hyejin whined, trying to bring my hands down while I maintained my balance and pushed them out.

“Is she wearing your shirt?” Byulyi asked who sneakily bent down and peeked under my arm as she held onto me.

“Oh, she is!” Hyejin whispered excitedly. Then she suddenly stopped moving to narrow her eyes at me and asked, “Did you two just had …”

I covered right away while