I have been singing and strumming the guitar since this morning. I only took breaks to drink water, to eat, and for bathroom breaks. And since I’ve been practicing this morning, I messed up every single time. I missed a few chords. I forgot the lyrics that I wrote myself. My voice would break. I would be singing out of tune. My fingers were trembling and were so sweaty. By lunch, I gave up trying and wanted to backout.

My plan was to make this as a gesture to Yong before I’ll confess to her that I love her. But now, I don’t even know if I could sing in front of thousands of people in this university, and probably in front of all the people I’d pass by in our dorm building. I have lived a university life that circles around my friends and the people that I have to meet because of school. If I messed this up, that means I messed up not just in front of my tiny social circle, but in front of almost the entire university.

Singing in the bar was already nerve-wracking, and there were only a handful of people at that time. I’m performing in our theater later in the evening. In our theater that houses so many people. This is in a whole different level of nerve-wracking.

What if I pee on stage from being so nervous? What if my voice broke? What if I sing out of tune? What if I forgot my lyrics? Or if a string in my guitar would break? What am I supposed to do if my voice wouldn’t come out? Which is more embarrassing, continue performing despite how you badly messed up or ran out of the stage and never show yourself again?

I also haven’t heard anything from Yong at all. I don’t want to call her or text her. I’m even nervous to check on her if she’d really come tonight. She said she’ll try, but there’s no promise. I was hopeful on the day she said that to me, but now I’m too nervous to be hopeful. This sounded like a very simple plan when this idea struck me, but it doesn’t sound simple and appealing anymore.

It’s already late in the afternoon, just a few more hours before the competition. I should probably call the organizers and tell them I would backout. I should maybe pretend to be sick or lose my voice so they’d allow me. Maybe that would work. That seemed like a valid reason.

Screw that thousands of dollars grand prize. Screw my plan. Screw this grand gesture I wanted to attempt to do. Screw it!

“What happened to you?”

I tilted my head down and saw Hyejin and Byulyi looking so confused at me. I’m lying on the floor in the middle of our room. My guitar is right beside me and I’ve been in this position for more than an hour already. I just simply gave up.

“I gave up” I whispered at them as I stared at the light right in the middle of the ceiling of the room. I’ve been looking at it from different angles just to see if it was really attached at the very center of the room.

“What do you mean you give up? What are you looking up there?” Byulyi asked me and saw her looking at the ceiling as well, searching for something.

I pointed at the light and said, “The light. For the past hour, I have concluded that it’s right in the middle of the room.” I lazily clapped my hand and said, “Good job electricians”

“You’ve gone crazy” Hyejin whispered exasperatedly. She softly kicked my leg and said, “Get up. Why aren’t you practicing anymore?”

I sighed heavily as I closed my eyes. “I told you I gave up already”

“What are you talking about?” Byulyi asked.

“I gave up…” I repeated, feeling hands in both of my arms before I was pulled up in a standing position. “Woah!” I exclaimed, opening my eyes so wide and saw Hyejin and Byulyi holding my arms. I smiled at them and laid down on the floor again. “Do that again” I said excitedly. I raised my arms and wiggled them in front of my friends. “Do that again!” I said excitedly,

“No!” Hyejin said, glaring at me while I pouted at them.

“Do that again. Please…” I said to them. “It was so fun! Come on…”

“We’ll do it again if you resumed practicing, just one last time, before you go take a shower and prepare for the competition” Byulyi suggested.

I dropped my arms on either side of me as I pouted and said, “You’re both no fun”

Hyejin lightly kicked my side again and said, “Get up, you idiot. How are you supposed to confess to Yong if you don’t prepare yourself for later?”

I pouted harder and turned to my side as I curled up in a ball and hugged my legs. I sighed heavily and closed my eyes as I whispered, “I don’t think she’s coming”

“Did she say that she’s not coming?” Byulyi asked. “Did she exactly say that she can’t come here?”

“No” I whispered softly.

“Then why are you sulking there. Would you want for Yong to see you like this? What if she’s right outside of your dorm right now?”

I instantly sat up and glanced at Byulyi, looking at her expectantly as I asked, “She’s right outside the dorm?”

“It was a question. I never said anything about it” Byulyi said exasperatedly. She looked at Hyejin and said, “Remind me again how she topped the class when she’s this stupid”

“Remind me again how we’re friends with her when she's this stupid” Hyejin countered.

I frowned at them and laid back down again on the floor. “I’m nervous,” I whispered to them.

“And so are we for you, but if you wouldn’t move and prepare, I’m really one second away from throwing you out of the window” Hyejin scolded as she pouted at me. She reached a hand down and said, “Come on. Get up”

“Pull me up again” I whined at them.

“We will but you have to shower after we pull you up” Byulyi negotiated.

I pouted at them for a second while they’re gazes slowly turned to glares. I closed my eyes to sigh and lifted both of my arms to them. “Okay…” I whispered defeatedly.

They both held my hands and arms before they hoisted me up in a standing position. I smiled, loving the feeling of it, before my smile slowly dropped as I sighed heavily. It was such a short-lived happy and thrilling moment. Then I dragged myself to the bathroom to shower.

I stopped by the bathroom door and glanced at them. “Should I change right after?” I asked them. Byulyi picked up my guitar while Hyejin went to my cabinet to look for clothes.

“You should, but only after we dried your hair” Hyejin said, pulling out clothes for me to wear tonight just like how she dressed me up on the night of my date with Yong.

“Okay…”

After I finished showering, Hyejin knocked on the bathroom door before she walked inside with the hair dryer and a comb. She sat me down in front of the mirror before she started drying my hair. I closed my eyes and hummed the tune of the song I made and ran the lyrics in my head to practice.

When I reached the end of the song, I stopped humming while Hyejin was still busy drying my hair. I opened my eyes and saw her smiling so wide while her eyes were trained on my hair, focusing on drying it.

“You’re going to sing the song you wrote for Hyoyeon as a gesture to Yong before you confess to her?” Hyejin asked.

“If you phrase it like that, you make me sound like an ” I whispered and pouted at her when she chuckled at me. “Yong told me she loves it. It’s also the reason why we met” I explained to Hyejin.

“Why didn’t you just write her a song?” Hyejin asked curiously, briefly meeting my eyes through the mirror.

“Because she said she wanted me to sing this one” I whined. “I didn’t even know why I joined the contest. It was such an impulsive decision. I don’t have the time to write a song for Yong”

“Hmm…” she hummed, nodding her head before she turned the dryer off. “We’re done. You should probably eat dinner first before you change”

I sighed heavily and nodded at her. I stood up and said, “Okay… Thank you”

“Just don’t mess up tonight”

“I won't,” I said before I walked out of the bathroom.

All three of us ate dinner together. I could feel the tension in our dorm room. Byulyi kept on drinking water. Hyejin kept on clearing . I’m already nervous. I kept on zoning out the entire dinner and when I see their faces, I get even more nervous. We usually eat dinner really fast, but I think tonight, we’re twice or three times slower than usual.

Once we managed to get through dinner, I changed out of the dress that Hyejin told me to wear. Then she just combed my hair and we waited. I set my alarm to remind myself that I have to go to the theater already since we kept arguing. I kept on bringing up on backing out while they kept on scolding me. I’m even more nervous now that it’s almost time and Yong hadn’t showed up yet.

My guitar is right behind me while I was sitting on the bed when we heard a knock. All three of us just looked at each other and neither one of us went to the door to open it. When we heard another knock, Hyejin stood up to get the door and Byulyi followed her right away.

I stayed on the bed, unable to move and function from how nervous I am right now. I raised my legs up and hugged them before I leaned my chin on my knees. I glanced at my phone beside me, hoping for Yong to call me or text. If she couldn’t come, at least she could’ve told me so. I could backout right away. I don’t have to wait and be nervous all this time since she’s the only reason why I joined in the first place.

When I noticed Hyejin and Byulyi hadn’t gone back yet, I turned my head to where the front door was and furrowed my eyebrows. I placed my feet down and was about to go to them when I heard footsteps coming back inside the dorm.

“Who was it?” I asked them both but they ignored me and went straight to Hyejin’s bed.

I pouted at them and still heard movements and footsteps coming from the direction of the door. I turned my head towards it and saw Yong coming inside our room. My throat and lips felt suddenly dry when I realized that Yong is her. She really came here.

She came!

I instantly stood up and saw her smile at me as she walked towards me. “You came?” I whispered in disbelief.

She placed an arm across my back and cupped my cheeks. I closed my eyes when she leaned forward and sighed in relief when I felt her lips on my forehead. “I didn’t promise but I told you that I’d try, right?” she said while I pouted at her.

I was so worried that she wouldn’t come. Since this morning, the only thing that was in my head was whether she’d come or not. I contemplated on texting and calling her, but decided otherwise and tried to practice. I was worried and nervous for nothing now that she’s here in front of me.

I wrapped my arms around her waist while she chuckled at me before I pushed my face to her neck. I felt her arms wrapped around me tightly before I felt her cheek leaning on my head.

She looked healthier now. She didn’t feel so thin in my arms as well. I’m glad. I’m so glad and relieved that she’s doing really fine now.

“Thank you for coming,” I whispered while she breathed in deeply.

“No problem” she said as she squeezed me tightly. We both pulled our faces away from each other at the same time so we could look at each other’s faces. “How are you feeling? Are you ready to win this contest?” she asked as she smiled, feeling confident for me.

“I’m really nervous,” I said as I pouted at her.

She reached a hand