I have no classes yet so I decided to roam around far from the university to avoid the possibility of meeting Hyoyeon. Hyejin and Byulyi invited me to hang out with them but I politely declined. I wanted to be as far from the university as possible. I don’t want to accidentally see my girlfriend, well ex now, with her boyfriend, just like those many times I’ve seen them together. It felt like we broke up yesterday, like we’re still living under the same roof. The breakup was still new and fresh for me, but for her, it’s clearly not just by how she’s smiling so big and how touchy she is to her boyfriend.

I sighed heavily and bitterly kicked a stone I passed by. It landed on someone's foot, making me flinch. I looked up and saw a guy angrily talking to his phone. I gulped hard, getting nervous and scared by him. I hope he’s mad at whoever he’s talking to and not at me when I accidentally hit his foot with the stone I kicked earlier.

I bent my head low and tried to pass by him as quietly as possible.

“You!”

I flinched once again and slowly faced the guy. I gulped hard, getting scared and nervous when the angry guy with his phone earlier is now pointing his finger at me.

“Yes?” I whispered shyly while trying to stop myself from peeing for how scared I am right now.

“Can you sing?” he suddenly asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he stared at me.

I gulped once again and nodded timidly.

“Okay. Follow me” he said, motioning for me to move as he pointed at a door.

I glanced up and saw that it’s a small bar. I looked at him again and saw him tipping his chin to the front door. I gulped hard and nodded at him again even though all I want is to run away from here.

What am I supposed to do in a bar? Is he going to hurt me for kicking that stone?

I shyly walked towards the doors while he followed me behind. When we got inside, the bar was still half-empty. The angry guy walked further into the bar and I followed him right away, afraid that if I wouldn’t cooperate, he might do something bad to me.

“We usually have a singer here to entertain the customers but he said that he’ll be running late. I’m going to pay you for every song. I hope that’s fine” the guy rambled beside me.

I whipped my head at him while my eyes widened. “What?”

“Will fifty dollars per song be okay? You don’t have to sing for long. Just until the singer arrived” he said as we reached to the side of a small stage.

“What?” I asked again, my heart beating fast for a different reason this time. “I don’t sing” I mumbled nervously at him.

He pointed at a guitar and a keyboard on the stage. “You can use those instruments. Or would you prefer if we play something for you?”

“What?” I asked as I gulped hard, my hands trembling from nervousness.

He ignored all of my protests and easily lifted me up on the stage before he pushed me to the center. I wanted to run down the stage but the few customers had already seen me and started clapping their hands.

I rushly bowed and picked up the guitar as I ran my tongue on my lips, wetting them. I slung the guitar to me all the while thinking that I should just accepted Hyejin and Byulyi’s invitation to hangout. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to sing. This was all so sudden that I barely grasped what was happening.

I glanced at the guy that brought me here and he gave me two thumbs-up as he smiled so wide at me. I pouted slightly as I turned to face the crowd and walked to the microphone. If he gave me that kind of face earlier, I wouldn’t be in here, feeling so nervous that I could barely breathe.

I took a couple of deep breaths and cleared my throat. I clenched and unclenched my hands a couple of times before I started strumming the guitar. I went for the only song I’ve been singing these past few weeks, like a stupid brokenhearted.

I took a deep breath one last time then I leaned my lips closer to the mic and closed my eyes before I started singing.

“Walking down 29th and Park
I saw you in another's arms
Only a month we've been apart
You look happier
Saw you walk inside a bar
He said something to make you laugh
I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours
Yeah, you look happier, you do”

My voice broke on the first few lines, but I continued to strum the guitar as if nothing happened. Being here is embarrassing enough, I don’t want to embarrass myself more by suddenly starting over again. I even missed a couple chords here and there but I was slowly able to adjust even with how bad my fingers were trembling and how I couldn’t move them properly from how cold they felt.

“Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you
But ain't nobody love you like I do
Promise that I will not take it personal, baby
If you're moving on with someone new”

“Cause baby you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'll feel it too
And until then I'll smile to hide the truth
But I know I was happier with you”

When I was done with the first chorus, I just decided to let everything out. I’ve been singing this to myself for probably a hundred times but it hit me differently this time. It felt like Hyoyeon was in front of me saying that we should break up. How everything crashed down deep inside me in a wave of overwhelming emotions.

“Sat in the corner of the room
Everything's reminding me of you
Nursing an empty bottle
And telling myself you're happier, aren't you?”

“Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you
But ain't nobody need you like I do
I know that there's others that deserve you
But my darling, I am still in love with you”

“But I guess you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'll feel it too
I could try to smile to hide the truth
But I know I was happier with you”

Singing it out loud, singing everything I’ve been feeling for the past few weeks opened the wounds I’ve been trying to heal but failed miserably. When I’m almost down, I decided to use my remaining energy and voice to shout the pain out.

Hey, yeah, hey, yeah, hey, yeah
Hey, yeah, hey, yeah, hey, yeah
Hey, yeah, hey, yeah, hey, yeah
Hey, yeah, hey, yeah, hey, yeah

For the last chorus, I stopped strumming the guitar and continued with singing only. My tears were threatening to come out since I sang the chorus the first time so I decided to shut my eyes tightly for the rest of the song. I breathed deeply before I whispered softly the last remaining lines.

“Baby you look happier, you do
I knew one day you'd fall for someone new
But if he breaks your heart like lovers do
Just know that I'll be waiting here for you”

By now, everyone in this room already knew how pitiful I am. How I’m still waiting for Hyoyeon to come back to me even though my friends thought otherwise. I love her and I don’t know if I could ever love someone else other than her. Luckily, the bar was just half empty.

I slowly opened my eyes, my vision a little bit blurry from the tears I kept stopping from falling down. But even with my unclear vision, I was surprised to see the bar was already full.

I hurriedly bowed down and mumbled, “Thank you.” I could see them clapping but I couldn’t hear them because of the ringing in my ears by how embarrassed I was. I placed the guitar back again and cleared my eyes off of tears by blinking them rapidly.

I went down the stage with my head bent low while I moved out of the bar as fast as I could. When I passed the entrance, I wanted to run but there were still some people behind me saying how good I was. I could only nod at them before I walked fast away from the bar.

When I felt like I was already away from the bar, I slowed down my pace and saw a bench under the shade of a tree. I sat down and pulled my legs up before hugging them and leaning my chin on my knees. I sighed heavily, releasing the breath I unconsciously held since I walked down the bar’s stage.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps coming towards me. I glanced to my side and saw a woman with long dark hair carrying two cups of ice cream and a plastic bag walking towards me. I was expecting the guy who asked me to sing earlier because he told me he’d pay me.

I looked up to the woman’s face and saw her smiling at me. My eyebrows furrowed as she walked to sit beside me on the bench. I don’t know this person, but now she’s handing me one of the cups she was holding.

Why do I keep talking to strangers today?

“Hi” she whispered while my eyes bounced between her and the ice cream she’s handing me, confused as to what she wanted me to do and why she’s talking to me.

She placed the cup down on the bench and chuckled softly. “Uhmm…” she mumbled. “Ice cream would always make me feel better on days when I don’t feel like smiling,” she said.

I blinked my eyes at her still confused by what she meant. That was totally random. Is she referring to me? Is she referring her ice cream to me? I don’t want her ice cream though.

“I’m