"Anything happens? Why are you coming back."

 

Yeri walked into the house at night after she spent some time at the park, the one where the nightmare happened. She can not deal with her anger at all, she hates Jungkook with all her might after what happened. She got completely mad with the fact that she was struggling dealing with her own feelings. To think that she isn’t comparable to him, to think that she is the only one who needs to deal with their past because he is already done with it.

 

"I'll be staying here until the renovation is finished."

 

"Why?"

 

"He is busy all day, I'll get bored."

 

That's what she told her parents, they seem to understand and stop pestering her about it. It'll be hard for Jay and Bona as they need to drive far to get her for work, but this is what she wants.

 

***

 

"Mr. Jeon, Ms. Kim are here."

 

Two weeks, Jungkook has been trying to talk with Yeri for two weeks but not even once she let him do that. She's always used her schedules as an excuse to not see his face when he visits her parents. She ignored every call he made. She didn't even show up in his nightmare, it stopped right after they stopped seeing each other.

 

"Let her in."

 

He has this many words ready to tell her once she stops ignoring him, but to see her in front of him after what happened is too overwhelming for his brain to work.

 

"I want my suitcase and my clothes."

 

He gets up when she starts to talk out of nowhere, not even a greeting she gave him.

 

"Where are you going?"

 

He talks to her in a soft and gentle voice because he knows that she's not in a situation where she wants to deal with him. She wears heavy makeup and casual clothes means she probably needs to work after this. She looked so pretty as always.

 

"The renovation will be finished in two days."

 

Her answer is coming out fast, eyes are on him, looking straight at him with no affection at all. It scares him. The thought of losing her feels like a reality now.

 

He takes a few steps closer to her, she doesn't seem bothered by it but it does feel like she built this huge wall between them that he can not cross.

 

That's why he told her to sit with his hands, she refused to do so, saying that she needs to leave for schedules.

 

"You can send it to my apartment or I can send Jay to get it from your place."

 

He watches her and he knows that she really is serious about this.

 

"Why won't you talk to me?"

 

She seems taken aback after receiving that question out of nowhere that she's avoiding his eyes immediately.

 

"I'm busy."

 

"I see."

 

"Can you do me a favor and just send my stuff back? I really need it."

 

She is not waiting for him to answer when she's trying to leave.

 

“We need to talk.”

 

"I don’t want to stay.”

 

Yeri closed her eyes before talking to Jungkook again and turned her back to see him. The surprised expressions are there, and also a disappointment. There is a smirk on his face.

 

"Kim Yeri.."

 

"You told me that my decision to stay with you is all on me, no matter if you beg me to leave, I need to stay if I want to, but I don't. Not anymore."

 

"What are you talking about?"

 

Jungkook starts to show his frustrated expression that his face is getting darker. She knows how ridiculous this conversation is.

 

"I'm sorry."

 

She really wants to leave when she doesn't even know how to continue facing Jungkook right now. Two weeks away from him, she thinks that it is better for them to stop. They continuously hurt each other.

 

She was saved by a knock and seconds later one of Jungkook's secretary is calling his name about his attendance for a meeting.

 

"You need to work. I'll send Jay to your place tomorrow."

 

She takes the chance to open the door and tell the secretary to come in and give her a light bow, before she leaves. She is aware that things won't be done so easily with Jungkook, because there are her parents who're basically friendly with him.

 

---

---

 

“Your apartment is becoming more luxurious after renovation.”

 

Yeri’s apartment is finally back to normal, she made lots of changes to its interior and it does look more luxurious than before. Bona and her mom have been helping her clean up since early morning because it's the weekend and she doesn’t have any schedules.

 

“Thank you for helping me clean up.”

 

She is satisfied with how things turned out, her mom is buying lots of stuff as art pieces that are suitable for her taste. She really is thankful.

 

“You are so busy, I was so ready to hire someone to do this for you.”

 

She made herself busy. She never spent time with her parents for the past weeks because the talk of Jungkook or the presence of him was always there. 

 

"I'm sorry."

 

She said sorry while giving Mrs. Kim a light hug, she caressed her back as her response but her expression is changing into serious mode. She has bad feelings about this.

 

"Aren't you going to tell Jungkook about moving back?"

 

"I told him, a few days ago, I came to his office."

 

She left her mom's side and pretended like nothing was wrong. She didn't lie, it is true that she saw him.

 

"Good, he's been wondering why are you getting so busy suddenly?."

 

She takes one can of beer and drinks it one shot, followed by a glare from her mom. She doesn't really want to talk about this.

 

"Lately, I've been seeing him more often. There were times when I wondered if my child was you or him."

 

She only responds to what Mrs. Kim said with a light smile, she doesn't know how to tell her about what's actually going on, that she has no future with him.

That the relationship is never going to work, because of their past.

 

"I saw him three times a week, we went to visit your brother often."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"We had planned to visit her sister last month, and one day he just asked to do the same for your brother. I never asked him to do that because I still have my conscience. I was glad when he asked for it first."

 

"It's all an act."

 

Mrs. Kim is taken aback by surprise when Yeri reacts to this badly. Her expression is so bitter that it makes her annoyed too. Jungkook was there with her, he cried for his first visit that she needed to console him.

 

He's getting better after what they did. He talked about Seokjin and the good deeds he did for him and Sooyoung. It was a healing experience for her and he was genuine about it. He can see it from his eyes.

 

"It wasn't an act."

 

She purposefully raised her voice so Yeri would take notice of her annoyance.

 

"Don’t be too sure.."

 

"He told me that he didn't want to see your brother before because he was thinking that his death makes all his efforts to continue living after Sooyoung's death useless. The only reason he never gave up is your brother."

 

Mrs. Kim remembers how Jungkook explained this to her one day, he even tried to convince her that the problem lay on him and not on Seokjin.

 

She was completely devastated because of it and she forced him to spend a day with her so she could treat him properly. She bought him suits, she took him for lunch and helped him choose a present for his clients. She treats her as a son, her long lost son. He showed her the best version of himself that day. He changed, he got better.

He is so easy to love, even for her. But Yeri doesn’t seem to agree. 

 

“He hates him and he can not stop, even after all those efforts and cares you gave him.”

 

She totally lost it, she stared at Yeri in disbelief, it does feel like her old self is back. The Yeri who never act like her daughter, at all.

 

“I slept with him. I know things.”

 

“What is wrong with you, really?!”

 

"Don't you find it disappointing? that he didn't talk about it at all this time? What if he's trying to get close to our family so he can ruin it the same way you ruined him?"

 

"Yeri-ya.."

 

"That's enough."

 

Yeri ended up crying after finally talking about this to someone else.

 

"You should leave."

 

She walked fast to the front door and opened it for Mrs. Kim. There's a slight tear on Mrs. Kim’s eyes too but she manages to ignore it while asking her to leave.

 

"Don't do this."

 

"I asked you to leave, is it really hard to do that? Please."

 

She talked after she realized that she can break down in tears anytime, and she doesn't want her mom to see this. She left after giving her one hug she didn't want, but certainly needed.

 

---

---

 

"Mr. Jeon, I already put the suitcase in your car."

 

Jungkook nods his head to one of the security staff who helped him carry Yeri's suitcase to his car. He's been thinking about her for so long, and the way she came a few days ago is totally changing his perspective regarding their relationship.

 

He can understand why Yeri gets so disappointed by what happened, the way he lied and hid. She probably spent most of times hating herself for not being good enough to deal with her past. She must be thinking that she didn't work hard compared to him. When in fact, she has the guts to face it and acknowledge it while he’s running away and lying.

 

He drove and parked his car in the usual place he used to before he saw someone familiar in front of him. It’s Bona with a pile of boxes in her hands.

 

“Ah.. How are you doing?”

 

She greets him first and he offers help while dragging Yeri’s suitcase in his other hand.

 

“Thank you. Is that Yeri unnie’s? She needs sponsored clothes there.”

 

“That’s why she asked for it.”

 

“At first she was going to buy another pair with her own money but the brand found out and that means she branched her contract.. So..”

 

“I understand.”

 

He gives Bona a smile even though he gets hurt to learn that Yeri really has no intention to talk with him if it’s not forced. They don’t talk to each other until they reach Yeri’s apartment. He told Bona to ring the bell for him and act like he was going to call someone so Yeri won’t see him through CCTV, he knows for sure that she doesn’t want him here.

 

“Unnie!”

 

The door opened in no time and he finally showed up in front of her again. She looked surprised, but her expression is better than a few days ago.

 

“These are all the boxes from my place and Jay’s. it’s all yours.”

 

He followed Bona to get inside the house while dragging the suitcase as Yeri was glaring at him.

 

“I’ll get going, Jay needs me to do something.”

 

Bona is busy, that was not her excuse to leave him with Yeri alone. She doesn’t even know what’s going on and it seems like Yeri doesn’t want her to find out either. She gave her a nod while waving her hands as she’s leaving. 

 

“Why are you here?”

 

As soon as Bona left, Yeri walked toward the kitchen, passed by him and didn't even spare a glance. Cold.

 

“Your suitcase.”

 

She finally looked at him while sighing but back to arranging boxes Bona brought on her desk.

 

“Thank you. You can leave it there.”

 

“Yeri-ya..”

 

“I’ve been busy today, I want to get some rest..”

 

“You can’t avoid me forever.”

 

Yeri knows it. There are her parents and his work. She knows erasing Jungkook from her life won’t be easy. That’s why she planned to do it slowly, until she got used to her life without him.

 

“I heard you went out with my mom.”

 

She takes a can of coffee from the fridge and offers it to Jungkook.

 

“Why did you do it? You don’t need to pretend so hard..”

 

He refused the coffee and his expression is completely serious now. It makes her realize that she’s been acting like her old self to him for the past few weeks.

 

“I’ll acknowledge the fact that you feel bad because I still think your brother was trash until recently. But it’s not enough reason for you to behave like this.”

 

“It wasn’t even a problem. I can understand if you still see him as trash, but you lied !”

 

She takes back the coffee and puts it on a table next to her. She thought she would never talk about this to Jungkook again but here they are now.

 

“I thought I was the only one who didn’t work hard to make our relationship make sense, the fact that I am still feeling guilty to you, my brother and your sister,  that I can not move on while you’re able to accept my family..with open arms.”

 

She tried to walk away from him but Jungkook held her arms that she tossed almost immediately.

 

“He has it harder than me, he was the one who got hurt worse than me, why would he be able to forget and forgive everything? What did I do wrong? Why can he be so kind? Am I even deserving my place to be with him?”

 

She talked while chuckling because she couldn't believe that she told him this in the end. 

 

“I even told you this before, my insecurities. And you lied? You can just tell me what you felt so I wouldn't feel so incapable.”

 

Jungkook doesn’t know how to explain himself to Yeri, he did what he did based on his own choice, a choice he thought was best for them.

 

“I was so relieved when you told me about what you felt regarding our nightmare. I feel like I can finally help you, that at least I'd be able to do something for you.”

 

Yeri doesn’t want to cry but turns out that doing this is harder than she expected. Her heart feels hurt that she can’t even contain all the rage she has for Jungkook.

 

“Turns out the nightmare was continuously happening because you were still thinking about doing the revenge, right? You are the only one who can help us but you didn’t do anything.”

 

That’s probably the worst thing she could say to Jungkook in this situation, to blame him over their nightmare. To accuse him of doing another revenge on her.

 

She realized right away that she’s being overboard with what she just said so she sweeps her hair back to gain some sense back and lift her face to Jungkook again. He looked so disappointed and his eyes were teary too.

 

“I’m sorry. That’s why I don't think we should see each other again.”

 

She holds his arms and pushes him away, trying to make him leave. But she stopped when he held her hands tighter, He was strong enough to not be moved by her pushing.

 

“You said you trust me.”

 

Yeri is losing her grips on her arms as she cries even more. She looked completely hurt by whatever he did and he understands. She shakes her head and starts covering her face to hide her tears. She takes a deep breath before staring at him again.

 

“I was wrong then.”

 

He loses his strength right away and Yeri is able to push him to the edge of the door and opens it for him, telling him to leave.

 

“You know I'm a celebrity and I don't want you to make a fuss in front of my apartment, so please..”

 

“I lied to you because I love you more than I hate your brother.”

 

“You wouldn’t lie, if you loved me.”

 

“I would, I would lie for a million times. And you should know what my reason is.”

 

Yeri no longer wants to listen to anything from him because she closed the door right away. He can stay here, beg her to come out, but what she said is true, she is a celebrity, making a scene here will just create another problem for her. That’s why he decided to leave.

 

 

***

 

Hours after Jungkook left, Yeri became more angry at the situation. She tried to distract herself with a few scripts she needs to review but nothing seems to work.

 

The worst part of everything is, she doesn't even know her anger was directed to who. She thought it was Jungkook, but it's actually not because she doesn't hate him at all. She's just so frustrated about everything.

 

"dr. Yoo.."

 

She's still receiving treatments at the end, not as intense as before but she still talks to her from time to time. She glances at her watch, and it is already so late at night. She called dr. Yoo without thinking twice and thankfully she picked up right away.

 

"Are you out?"

 

The Background was so noisy..

 

"I am out with my family, why?"

 

"Can we talk? or should I just wait until tomorrow?"

 

"What's wrong?"

 

dr. Yoo seems taken aback and the noise is slowly gone.

 

"Yeri-ya? What's going on?"

 

She never asked for a consultation in the middle of night like this, she didn't even do this when she was younger. She would come to the hospital and receive any treatment but never seeks one in the middle of night like this.

 

Back then, no matter how hard it was, she always tried to cope with it in her own way. And it always works. But tonight is so hard..

 

"Nothing, it’s just.. My nightmare finally stopped.”

 

“Really? how?”

 

Dr. Yoo sounds pretty much relieved after seeing her voice becoming bright again.

 

“It stops if i don’t see him, so i don’t have any plan to ever see him again.”

 

“You mean Jungkook?”

 

She takes a deep breath after hearing his name. There is so much going on between them right now, that she can’t even think straight about having him again. 

 

It feels so unfair for her brother, too complicated for her own feelings and there is the nightmare too, nothing seems normal for them. They will just get hurt again and again.

 

“I thought you'd end up living happily ever after, since it was him..”

 

Dr. Yoo is certainly joking, but Yeri can not avoid admitting that she had those thoughts too. A simple and better family she always asked for since she was a kid. A life where all her sins and mistakes were forgiven. A life where she didn’t have to refuse love but ask for it instead.

 

“You know that nightmare..”

 

“It’s horrible, but as your doctor I can tell you, it is not affecting you worse than when you broke up with him the first time. Remember when you need to get hospitalized for it?”

 

Of course. 

 

“That was a messy break up, I did everything correctly this time..”

 

“Liar.”

 

Yeri is laughing when dr. Yoo does the same thing too. She caught up with her lie immediately.

 

“He is a nice person, Yeri-ya.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Then why?”

 

“It’s a principal thing. It is more than just him being nice.”

 

Dr. Yoo sighs, meaning she can understand what her reasoning is and will stop pestering her about this.

 

“Well, then.. Remember, when you broke up with him the first time, he came to me and asked me if you were capable of killing him? I said yes at that time.”

 

That is how messed up Yeri life was, even for dr. Yoo as someone who has known her for years. 

 

“He’s still not here now, but if he asked me the same question right now, my answer is no, a definite no. As a professional and as your friend.. I can guarantee him that you won’t do that.”

 

Yeri is not responding to her for a long minute, so she makes sure to stare at her phone, but the call is still connected.

 

“Yeri-ya?”

 

“I pointed a gun on his head once.”

 

The voice came out very weak, and what she heard was shocking. That was crazy, even though she was aware about how much rage Yeri had and how fearless she is.

 

“Really?”

 

“A fake gun, but there was part of me who was serious about killing him. Or making him suffer.”

 

“Is there any good reason why you did that?”

 

Yeri is laughing sarcastically, mocking her old self for what she did to Jungkook back then. A good reason? There will never be a good reason for that.

 

“I have a reason, but it wasn’t a good one.”

 

Admitting it is not hard, she knows she messed up very badly around that time, to learn that Jungkook approached her for revenge. To know that he is Sooyoung’s brother, the way he hates her family.

 

“I am sure it wasn’t. But that means he already knows you so well, how you would react to something he did. That’s why he came to me. He asked me if it’s possible for him to kill you just like in your nightmare and vice versa. He knows how your relationship is a complete mess. Both of you were a total mess.”

 

Yeri is listening to this while processing all the words slowly. She moved her eyes to the opened box Bona left her earlier, it was that one property gun she used to threaten Jungkook in anger. 

 

“I would, I would lie for a million times. And you should know what my reason is.”

 

The phone call paused once again, but this time Yeri suddenly cut the line and dr. Yoo tried to call her back right away, she didn’t answer for the first time but picked it up after.

 

“What’s going on?”

 

“I’ll call you later, I need to go somewhere!”

 

Yeri’s voice is shaking and full of uncertainty. Dr. Yoo gets worried, so much.

 

“It’s almost dawn, where are you going? Try to call Jay to go with you.”

 

There is no response from Yeri , but she says thank you before ending the phone call.

 

---

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