NELL- Don't Hurry Up

It was night and because everyone had fallen asleep by that time, Fei could walk around freely. It was also the best time for a walk around the pond.

"Ah, the moon is really bright tonight." She said with a soft smile, her eyes twinkling.

The whole sight was serene. After fighting so much and witnessing so many deaths, it was amazing to see that the world could still be so beautiful.

"What's so great about the moon?"

She did hear him walk towards her, it was impossible not to, but she waited to hear what he had to say first.

"There are many forces that we cannot control and one of them is the constant change of everything. And yet the moon is always there, every night, for thousands of years. It's a reminder that some things never change." She explained and looked at him.

It was incredible how one person could lift her whole mood with just his presence. Being there with him, hearing him breathe was so calming.

"Just like you." He said with a cheeky smile.

"I do change, though. Maybe not how I look but definitely change. I grow and become more in tune with the present. I will probably be different in 100 years." She said narrowing her eyes at him as she smirked. "You'll be long dead by that time. But I will try and paint a good picture of who Lee Hyang was."

"That is indeed a disappointing theory. I will die one day and you will go on living and forget me."

"Forgetting you is already out of question." She said and she noticed that he was intending to pull her in his arms so she quickly escaped and ran towards the pond.

She walked on the water, using her powers as a nymph to stay away from him. He glared playfully and walked across her on land. She could see his reflection and it moved her heart. The moon was behind him, following him as he took step after step, looking ahead with a happy expression. When Fei got back on land, they faced each other and she could see the reflection of her eyes shining into his dark orbs.

"You have lilies in your hair." He noted touching the flowers in her hair.

"I had one of the ladies of court help me with a more traditional hairstyle." She explained touching it to. Their hands brushed against each other and with a quick move, Hyang grabbed her hand and started to lead her some place. "Should you hold my hand, future king? Isn't that against the rules?"

She was joking and he knew it which was why he entangled their fingers.

"It'll be our secret." He said.

They left the palace and ran through the trees as if they were truly free. It took them quite a while but then he stopped in front of a shabby house.

"Does a shaman live here?" She asked seeing all the elements that pointed towards that answer.

"Used to, yes. But it's empty now. However, it isn't the house but what lies a few minutes from it." He said pulling her along.

Just a few more meters, down a path made of stones and Fei was amazed to see a pond in the middle of nowhere. She gasped and had a constant smile on her face as he started to pull her closer to the water.

"Well? Isn't this surprising?" He asked sounding as excited as he looked. She turned and looked into his dark eyes and couldn't help but laugh with joy.

That was probably one of the few times Fei felt herself as more valuable than any god and any belief. The love that filled her heart transposed into the sudden growth of a cherry blossom tree next to the pond. Lee Hyang watched in amazement as it grew out of literally her heart.

"You win. This is definitely above my powers."

They spent more time inside, playing with the water or simply lying under the tree. For once, Hyang did let himself act like any other man and could hug and feel Fei's presence without having some eunuch spy on them. Unfortunately it started to rain and no matter how magical was the tree, it couldn't protect them. They returned to the shaman house and they hurried inside.

"We'll sleep here tonight and return tomorrow." She said already checking if the house was good enough for the future king. "There is only one bedroom so you sleep there."

"What? What about you?"

Fei turned to him with an amused expression. He seemed innocent enough but he was, after all, a man. She was not about to make a decision based on her passion and forget reason.

"I'll sleep there, under the window." She said and pointed at the empty little space.

"But-"

He couldn’t comment because she already pushed him inside and closed the door.

Hyang didn't know that Fei didn't need to sleep so a few hours later, he came out in order to check if she was comfortable. The rain outside was still loudly falling on the rooftop and he was standing there looking at her as if she was the most precious person in the world. He leaned in and Fei controlled her urge to react. She thought that he was going to kiss her but he didn't. He just caressed her head softly, reminding Fei that he will never cross the line. Once he returned to bed, she opened her eyes and sighed.

Fei spent that whole night watching him sleep. She knew she should stop with these foolish feelings and go back to traveling the world but whenever such an opportunity arose, she just couldn't do it.

Now, entering the same house felt like everything was just a long dream. The spot under the window was now occupied by a white couch and the whole ambient was warmer and more welcoming than all these centuries ago. Turning towards Dohyun who was unpacking in the bedroom, she knew he will insist that they sleep together.

It was such an odd feeling, being there in the same house where she once slept with Munjong. But it was different now: Dohyun insisted on sleeping in the same room, on the same futon as her. She was facing him but kept enough distance between them for another person. Maybe it was an innocent decision but in Dohyun’s mind it felt as if the memory of Lee Hyang was constantly blocking him from reaching out to her.

Fei was sleeping with the sheets covering her body up to her shoulder. She had one hand stretched out as she lied on her left side. Dohyun watched her peaceful expression with big, puppy eyes and couldn’t help want to touch her. Maybe she was playing with him because he looked so much like her former lover or maybe she wasn’t. She had a lot on her mind and the safety of the whole world was in her hands but it didn’t matter to him. He was selfish and possessive and jealous and he wanted her for him. He couldn’t lie anymore, not to him and definitely not to her. Dohyun moved closer to her and very slowly and silently covered her hand with his.

When she was sure that Dohyun truly fell asleep, Fei opened her eyes and stared at this curious human being that seemed glued to her and her library. He was amusing at first, then annoying and now…he was just so different from how Fei imagined. He probably believed that she was still hanging onto her past with Lee Hyang but he had no idea what was truly going through her mind.

Dohyun was snoring when Fei got out of the room very quietly. She walked slowly, the wind of spring swaying her hair softly. It felt like a caress from nature itself, as if it was trying to tell her that it's alright. The trees seemed to move their branches in order to show her the path that she had walked on before. With every step towards that way, her heart grew heavier. At some point she stopped and swore she could see her past form passing her by with Lee Hyang. She looked to her left and was surprised to realize how small she was compared to the past. The wind picked up and the illusion passed. Just a few more meters and she found herself in front of the pond. She closed her eyes and felt this strange magic surround her. When she opened her eyes she saw the real Fei made out from the water. She moved closer and caressed her face. The movement was copied by the water doll. Fei's eyes filled with tears as all those moments came into her mind. Her hand moved down to the lips and she sighed heavily, feeling her soul split.

Since he felt her leave and curiously followed her, Dohyun watched from his hiding place behind some bushes. He believed for a long time that Fei missed Lee Hyang the most, that his memory was that one thing that didn't let her move on. But it wasn't that. The thing that she missed the most was a lot more personal.

He didn't intrude until he saw her sit under the cherry blossom tree that was oddly enough very close to the pond. The water doll was still there, floating.

"You asked me several times if Lee Hyang is the most precious to me. At first I didn't care what you believed because it didn't make any difference. But it was never him that I held onto with that arrow." She started sensing he was near.

"I know."

"For many people that may be just a shell. But it isn't for me. That body was my past, present and future. You can't understand how it is to have your identity stolen from you and then never see it again. I feel like my soul isn't enough. What I lost on that day had nothing to do with Hyang. I worked for thousands of years, I sacrificed so much time and will-power in order to achieve freedom. And then it was so easily taken away from me."

"But you are still you, no matter how you look. When I look into your eyes, nothing changes. Whether it's that form or this, it doesn't really affect me."

"But it affects me. The face that you drew is who I am. All those years of hard work, all that training and all those memories were engraved onto my body. That shell represents my life, with good and bad. It was a torture living as if I was somebody completely new. Everything that I believed in vanished and I had to obey to other rules. I couldn't adapt, I was a baby thrown into the world without no guide."

"Do you miss it so much?"

"Myself? Yes. I miss that life. I miss the freedom of choosing my own purpose and goals."

Dohyun saw her stare at the water doll and tear up once more. He grabbed her chin and forced her to look into his eyes.

"Whatever form you have, I love it just as much. Whatever the reason is, I am drawn to you. Not the way you look but your mind, your behaviour, even your pain. Compiled they create you and I don't want anything but to stand by your side every day of my life."

Dohyun's eyes were glinting into the moon light with sincerity and love. It was rather overwhelming for Fei. She placed both her hands on his cheeks and kissed him. She had no words to respond with so she used actions. They stood there, kissing and cuddling into each other's arms. The water doll fell into the pond and Fei concentrated on Dohyun and only on him.

When they returned to the cottage, Dohyun was careful not to let her have any personal space. He glued himself to her and they stood like that for a moment until she moved her head enough to rise her eyes to his. Something snapped in Dohyun’s mind and so did his self- control. He rolled on top of her and kissed her passionately. His hands slipped under her shirt and whispered.

“Raise your arms.”

It wasn’t romantic nor was it ferocious. It held the right amount of manliness and authority and Fei complied immediately feeling a shudder go down her spine. He followed her and disregarded his turtleneck some random corner in the room. It was…a sweaty night for sure.