fourteen.

What It Means to be Me

In the cool morning air, a tense energy was spread around the pack into the forest. There was nervousness, excitement, through the entire territory: it was the first day of the test hunt. 

Almost everyone could feel it. This day was a massive deal: not just for the teen alphas participating but for omegas, to see what the abilities of the alphas their age were, and the adults, to see who would lead their pack in the future, when they were old. 

Donghyuck knew it was a big deal...but he was unaffected. Yes, he cared about hunting, to the extent that he wanted to make sure the pack was safe and healthy. But showing off his abilities or vying for Head was not something that mattered to Donghyuck. He had more important things to worry about. 

Of course, he had heard rumours here and there that Head Alpha Taeyong wanted to nominate him for Head. He hadn't gotten a chance to ask Jaemin about it, but until he did, he couldn't believe anyone. The idea of it was absolutely ridiculous. 

But even though Donghyuck didn't care, there was still that obligation to go. So here he was, walking into the forest with Jeno beside him, Jisung nowhere to be found, despite being his other alpha friend (who probably should've been there). At least he had Jeno to deal with this boring thing. Jeno seemed to be of a similar mind to himself. 

Suddenly, panting came up beside the two teen alphas. Jeno and Donghyuck turned to see Renjun run up beside them. 

"Hey dude..." Jeno said suspiciously. 

"Yo," Renjun panted back. 

"...what's up?" 

Renjun shrugged, his breathing finally slowing down. "I wanted some hunting practice. Figured I'd come along. Now that I'm a beta, I guess I should try and do everything." 

Donghyuck looked surprised and Jeno smiled at that. "That's really great! What a good idea." 

"I'm glad you're feeling better," Donghyuck mumbled. 

"As better as I can be," Renjun answered with a chuckle. But Donghyuck smiled at him; it was clear that at least now, he was able to work through his status. 

"Wait...where is Jisung?" Jeno asked. 

Renjun glared at him. "Isn't he your brother?" 

"I went into his room this morning and he was gone! I thought he stopped by Chenle's to say goodbye before coming here." 

Renjun rolled his eyes. "Well...he did stop by Chenle's, alright. But he's not leaving." 

"Oh ," Donghyuck groaned. 

"Yup. I stopped by Chenle's room to say goodbye and he was there. I told him to come but he was just like oh what if Chenle gets his heat, I don't give a about the test hunt," Renjun spoke, doing an impression of Jisung's awkward voice. 

Jeno snorted. "Typical Jisung." 

"Maybe he had the right idea," Donghyuck mumbled. 

The group fell silent at that, finally stepping away from the main part of territory towards the West. As it was early, the sun just coming up, Donghyuck saw the main group of adults alphas duck to the South. He felt a bit of pride as he saw his father Johnny lead them into the Southern part of the woods; as the second, leading when the Head was away was his job. Head Alpha Taeyong was very busy with this test hunt, despite the famine going on. Jeno, Renjun, and Donghyuck were towards the back of the group, but even back there they could hear his commanding Head Alpha voice telling them where to go.

The group of teen alphas was almost at the starting point for the test hunt, and Donghyuck was beginning to get into the mood of the days, despite his indifference. 

Until, a scent carried over from the main part of the territory. It was very, very faint but he could still make it out among the scents of nature and alpha around him.

Donghyuck froze where he stood. It was heat

"Does...does anyone else smell that?"

Jeno and Renjun turned back to him and shook their heads. 

"What is it?" Renjun asked.

"Someone's heat...pretty faintly but..." 

"I don't smell anything." 

"Me either." 

Donghyuck tried to remember his lessons on status from school, how heat scents worked. 

Anyone could smell a heat if they were close enough to the omega having one. If it was long overdue or a strong one, you could even smell it from outside their cabin. Mated alphas could smell their omega's heat from miles and miles away. But alphas who were close to omegas could smell their heat, faintly but still there, from a short distance. Siblings, friends, promised mates. 

Jeno couldn't smell heat, so it couldn't have been Jaemin. 

Renjun couldn't smell heat, so it couldn't have been Chenle. 

That only left one omega Donghyuck was closed to. 

Mark. 

Donghyuck's jaw dropped and he took a deep breath, thinking for only a few seconds. 

"D-Donghyuck?" Renjun spoke. 

"Where are you going?" Jeno asked. 

"I-I gotta go." 

"Wait, what?" Renjun cried. 

"I have to go!" Donghyuck cried. Without another thought Donghyuck spun around and raced back to territory, as fast as his legs would take him. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Donghyuck knew his nose had been right when he reached Mark's cabin. The place reeked and he wasn't even inside yet. 

The alpha teen reached for the door, his hormones already thrumming. It was open; Mark's parents weren't home. 

Thank god. 

Donghyuck didn't know what he would've done if they had been there. 

He ran through the house, ignoring the rooms, the mess, the fire, until he reached Mark's door. He threw it open without a second thought. 

The first thing that hit him was the smell, the reek, before his eyes and ears could process everything else. It sent a shudder through him, finally noticing Mark whimpering, writhing, the fear in his eyes, curled up in his blankets, more color on his skin than Donghyuck had ever seen, except for his hands, which were white from clutching the sheets. He'd stripped down to his boxers, the rest of his clothes tossed haphazardly around the room. Mark was clearly warm, and with that, Donghyuck would've known what was going on even without the smell. 

He'd never been so close to an omega in heat before. It was pack custom for parents to send their child to a friend's house when the omega parent was in heat. So, most alphas never experienced this until they moved in with their promised mate, or if they were promised earlier, sniffed out their scent from far away. 

Donghyuck wasn't used to it, and the scent was immediately sending him into rut. 

"Oh my god," he breathed out, turning away, resting his forehead against the wall. He had to control himself. It was Mark's first heat, after all, an exciting but obviously very terrifying milestone in life. None of Donghyuck's friends had been through it yet, after all, he wasn't quite sure what to say, or do. 

Donghyuck knew, too, why Mark was afraid. He'd told him a few days before that when he presented, Kun told him he had a fifteen percent chance of making it to his first heat. It was totally unexpected; he couldn't have been fully prepared. 

So Donghyuck needed to be here. To help him, to take care of him. That's all he ever wanted to do, after all. 

Mark whimpered again. "D-Donghyuck...wh-what are you doing here?" 

It must have started only a little while ago; Mark still had enough wherewithall to ask him questions. In an hour or two, Donghyuck remembered from his schooling on these things, Mark would be too gone to do much of anything but beg. 

"I smelled you," Donghyuck grumbled. 

"No, no no no no!" Mark sobbed. "I-It's the test hunt, y-you should be there!" 

"Don't care." He couldn't look at Mark. He shut his eyes. 

"B-But you're gonna ruin your chances of being Head...m-my parents told me...Taeyong wants to nominate you..." 

"Don't care," Donghyuck repeated, a little firmer this time. He thought for a moment. If Mark's scent was affecting him in this way, then Donghyuck's scent was probably affecting Mark too, maybe even worse than him. Maybe, this hadn't been such a good idea. "I can go. I-I don't wanna make it worse..." 

"No! I don't want you to go, please, I need you," Mark cried, groaning and twisting the sheets in his fingers. "B-But this is gonna hurt you...it's not good for you...I-I don't know." 

"Mark." Donghyuck turned to Mark and stared him right in the eye, making the omega shudder. "If you think being Head means more to me than you, then you don't know me at all." 

Mark shuddered, again. "I...I...." 

"I don't know what to do," Donghyuck breathed out. 

"Me too." Mark had never sounded so small. 

"Mark. Do you want to?" 

"Yes!" Mark groaned. "Yes, yes Donghyuck, I want it, I need, b-but we can't...." 

"Why not. Why not?" 

"My parents...what are my parents gonna say? They'll come home, a-and see us, and see you, and throw you out and not let us ever see each other again!" Mark sobbed at his own words and Donghyuck's heart cracked. 

Quickly. He had to come up with a solution, and quickly. Fighting through the fog in his own head, he tried to think what he could do. 

Really, there seemed to be only one way to have Mark in his heat without getting caught: Donghyuck and him would have to go far off, to the edge of their territory while Mark's heat remained, and not leave until it was gone. People would obviously be worried and suspicious about their disappearance. But maybe Donghyuck could get away with it, if nobody told his own parents that he ditched the test hunt. Mark...he wasn't so sure. But what else could they do? 

There was obviously a chance someone would catch them anyways. But both of them wanted this so, so bad. 

"Mark..." he spoke lowly, trying to keep his voice, himself, steady, even, level headed. "I can take you to the edge of the territory, where nobody could see or smell us. You could leave a note or something, explaining you wanted a few days of peace...my parents will think I'm at the test hunt. It's still risky. There's always a chance we could get caught out there but it's better than being here. Less risky." 

Mark thought for a moment, still breathing heavily. "Yeah. Yeah, th-that's our best option." 

"Okay, do you need help writing the note?" 

"But wait, Hyuck, wait," Mark cried, pouting and looking in pain down at the bed. "We can't." He sobbed. "We can't." 

"Why? Just tell me if you don't want me, please! Or else, why?" 

"B-Because...i-if we're out there, c-could you stop yourself from giving me the mark?" 

Donghyuck took a deep breath. "If you wanted me to, then yes." 

Mark sobbed and squealed; clearly his heat was getting stronger, and Donghyuck's presence plus the tension in his room didn't help. "No! I want to be yours forever! I want to have it marked on my skin until the day I die but it's for you! You have to stop yourself!" 

"Why?" Donghyuck growled, immediately taking a step back, afraid he'd displayed too much of his alpha aggression and scared Mark. But in the moment of heat those things had different meanings and Mark trembled at his voice, not in fear. 

"You can't give it again," Mark spoke, quietly this time, actually tears leaking out now. "You know you can't give the mating mark again." 

What Mark spoke was true. Once given, a mating mark could never be taken back. A mated omega could never receive another mark or get rid of it. A mated alpha could never give another mark again in their lives, no matter what. Even death couldn't stop alphas and omegas from being tied together, forever. 

Donghyuck didn't care. He'd never cared. This had never been an issue for him. 

"I don't care." 

"B-But Donghyuck, you couldn't ever mate again..." 

"I don't care." 

"You'd never get over me...even when I'm long gone." 

"Mark. I don't want to ever get over you. Ever. If you want that Mark I'm giving it to you, no matter what. I swear...I swear to god I am." The omega teenager sniffled and rubbed his eyes. "You're my promised mate," Donghyuck continued. "That means I promise to make you my mate when your heat comes. We promised each other that and unless you've changed your mind, I'm not going back on it." 

"I'm so selfish," Mark finally sobbed. "I'm so selfish...t-to want that from you." 

"No. No. You're not selfish. I swear to god, Mark, I don't want anything more than to be your mate, I ing swear." 

"I...." Mark sniffled again, pausing from speaking as another wave of heat rushed over him. Donghyuck could see the sweat on his forehead and he knew they had to go soon; Mark could only be getting more and more uncomfortable. "I deserve to experience it, right? I-I deserve to have these life experiences...heat...mating...I do. It's selfish...b-but I do." 

"Of course you do of course you ing do, Mark, and  you have no idea...I want it bad too." 

Mark took in a deep breath, his exhale shaky. Donghyuck didn't dare come any closer than he had been. He couldn't hurt Mark, he couldn't go too far. Just one last time...he had to make sure. 

"Do you want to do this? Are you sure?"

"Yes, Donghyuck, I want it, I want it so bad, please...hurry...i-it's getting really bad..." 

Donghyuck took a deep breath. A moment he'd dreamed of but truly thought would never come to pass, had never even dared to hope for, was coming true. "Okay...okay. Do you need help writing the note?" 

"I-I think I can manage..." 

Mark reached to his bedside table and grabbed a pencil and paper, slowly scratching the words down. Donghyuck could see that the words were shaky and almost a little incoherent. It was definitely strange enough to arouse suspicion, but what else could they do? Seeing Donghyuck's handwriting on the paper would just be worse. And Donghyuck wasn't sure if he could write clearly either. 

Mark slammed the paper onto the bedside table and curled onto the bed with a groan. ", , w-we need to go, Hyuck, I-I need you s-so bad, f-..." 

Donghyuck gave him a once over, and he knew: Mark couldn't even walk that far right now. 

So with large strides Donghyuck came closer to Mark and scooped him up in his arms, Mark quickly wrapping his legs around Donghyuck's waist and burying his head in the crook of Donghyuck's neck, scenting him until he reeked of Mark. Mark held onto Donghyuck, so tight, and with his heat scent this close Donghyuck could barely think. He was burning up too, sweating, so weird to have Mark like this when his skin usually felt like ice. He was even grinding on Donghyuck's chest a little, loosing whatever was left of his control. 

He was so light. Omegas were so light already but Mark weighed practically nothing, enough that Donghyuck could run through their territory while carrying him, easily. He was so thin, so frail, so needy.

They'd be okay. Donghyuck could barely think it over, too distracted by Mark's warm body around him and his scent in his arms, but he knew they'd be okay. By this point, all of the pups were in school, and the omegas were gathering, and the alphas were hunting, and the test hunt was going on too. They reeked, but not many people were at the center of territory. They'd be okay, they wouldn't get caught. 

Grabbing one of Mark's blankets with the last of his brain power Donghyuck dashed out of Mark's cabin, barely thinking to shut the door behind him before running as fast as his legs would take him, with Mark in his arms, the rest of their territory flashing behind him.

Mark whimpered as they ran, far far away from anything and everyone else that they knew, just the two of them. 

"Alpha...alpha..." 

"You're gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay." 

~~~~~~~~~~

It was over. It was finally over. 

Donghyuck could smell it on Mark's skin: the scent of his heat was finally dissipating. He was fast asleep, had been for a long time, his body finally calming down so he could relax. Donghyuck was tired too, the past four days had drained him completely. But he had to stay awake and make sure he was okay. This had clearly taken a toll on him, and Donghyuck needed to watch him until the smell of heat was fully gone and he could bring Mark back to his parents. 

They had gotten so lucky. Donghyuck had been on the lookout the entire time, since Mark couldn't be. But not a single alpha or omega even came near them. They didn't see, hear, or smell anyone else that entire time. Maybe, just maybe, they could get away with this.

But even if they didn't, it was worth it. Every moment of these four days had been worth it; the consequences Donghyuck knew they would both face would be worth it. 

Lying there, , in that cave, just the two of them. Donghyuck leaned over his mate, not his promised mate now but his real, complete mate who he had done everything with, to see the small mark on his neck. The mating mark, something Donghyuck had never imagined himself giving so soon until Mark and he met again. But there it was. 

It didn't matter that he wasn't sure when the last time he would see Mark would be. It didn't matter that soon this moment would be over: Donghyuck would have to take Mark back to his parents. It didn't matter that they might get caught and in trouble, try as they might to hide what happened from everyone around them. Gazing at that mark, what he'd given, what Mark had received, Donghyuck knew: this was the best moment of his life. 

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fvtimx11 #1
Chapter 20: OMG LOVED IT
kiseonnie11
#2
Chapter 20: Oh my gosh. It is 1am here and i am a sobbing mess. This story is so beautiful. Its just poked my heart so much that chap18 made me cry bucks. I felt their love, not just romantic love but familial and friendship love too. I just cant thank you enough for this. You did so great! <3
ipurpleexo #3
Chapter 20: This is the most beautiful story I have ever read. I can actually see every character saying all the lines and doing all those things and even going through all those feelings like a real scene in front of me. As if it is all true. That it is happening somewhere and I am in that place but not s any if the characters but as a onlooker who is seeing everything and even understanding the emotions that everyone went through!!! I just love this story!! <3<3
rio_67
#4
Chapter 20: I absolutely loved this book. Thank you for taking your time and writing this masterpiece <3
melly-pop #5
Chapter 18: My eyes are watering. Oof. The love expressed for Jaemin in the 18th chapter.
kpop_04jk
#6
Chapter 20: Such a great book. It’s been an emotional roller coaster for me as well. This book has been a great combination of deep and also light hearted at times. I love this book and all your other ones. Thank you for working so hard for us
Jun_ley
#7
Chapter 20: YAAASSSS AHAHAHAHAHAHA
I giggled when I read Hendery’s name. Thank you unnie!
Selu
#8
Chapter 20: What happen between those years that make Jungwoo from finding Hendery name an atrocity into agreeing to name his kid with it?
I love Jaemin and Donghyuck friendship so much
Jun_ley
#9
Chapter 19: *Key’s voice* “I’m crying in club. You’re in the club”
..like I know I spilled about this scene since the beginning so I was aware of it but just like Donghyuck, the mental processing hit like a mother trucker. The water works are no joke and I cried when hyuck was covering his mouth (I’ve been there done that) and when Kun was telling them”one moment, one moment” but finally turned around showing his face (also, been there and done that lol).