09

[pentagon] : runaway

Wooseok was the first one to wake up in the sunrise that they couldn't see. He has always been like this. He'll wake up early, go through his numerous vices, literally ting over his life, and do a lot of things that if ever Hui would come to learn, Hui would probably disown him.

He learned how to puff cigarette smoke when he was a teen. He learned how to roll weeds when he was in his twenties. He learned everything there is to learn in the underworld even if a lot of people say that it didn't suit him.

He simply learned how to survive.

Like how people get into competitions and eliminate each other, he had no time to make friends. All his mind has been telling him was to kill, eliminate and win-- so he did.

He killed himself multiple times. He did everything to erase his real self, the soft and cuddly one. He eliminated his ego and he won. People may say that he's an idiot for doing that. Wasting his so called life on doing the things that makes him a piece of . But if people would just listen to his whines, then maybe they'd know that no matter how hard the vices hurt him inside, it still doesn't make him feel alive.

None of the things that he had has ever made him feel alive and that makes everything about him and for him unfair.

To him, the vices were all that he has and his world was the darkness that eats him up slowly. There was no light to reach out until a shorter man's hand swatted his hand from puffing up another batch of cigarette smoke; he was wasted.

He began reminiscing.

His eyes were bloodshot and his face was so swollen, probably because of the acid and his weeping. He stared at Wooseok and held his shoulders down although Wooseok was inches taller than him, yet Wooseok stayed down and paid the man some respect.

"Are you seriously going to waste yourself in this place?"

At first, Wooseok wanted to push the man away. He wanted to show how stronger he is than him and how he can dominate the unknown man whenever he wanted to, but when Wooseok's eyes lingered over his, Wooseok broke down, "Who are you to tell me that when you're clearly wasting yourself here like I am?" he said with gritting teeth.

"I am Hui, Hwitaek, or whatever you want to call me, but please," he pleaded and let his head hung low his shoulders while using Wooseok's shoulders as his support, "don't be like me."

Jinho clicked his fingers in front of Wooseok who was starting to lose himself in his trances of thought. The bread that he toasted was already fished out and the eggs that he scrambled were starting to turn brown.

For the first time in years, he would be cooking for someone else than himself.

Wooseok began to find himself and turn to the oldest among the group. He mumbled a simple hum and began flipping the egg on the pan. He wanted to remain unbothered by the sudden contact that he and Jinho had and the way that Jinho promised him a lot. He wanted this to last, just please, last.

Jinho watched Wooseok tense up his shoulders and listened to the taps of his foot on the floor. Jinho knew that Wooseok was starting to feel uncomfortable, but he didn't mind this behavior because there is a lot to learn. So instead, he turned his body away from Wooseok and faced his back at him, listening to the grilling sound and the ragged breath of the younger.

"Do you mind telling me how you and Hui knew each other?" Jinho started. It's not that he was curious, he just wanted to talk to him and make him feel at home inside his own home.

Wooseok stopped focusing his attention to the food in front of him and turned the burner off. He looked at the nape of the shorter and stayed there for minutes before finally replying despite his confusion, "He didn't want me to die."

Jinho inwardly smiled and closed his eyes-- Hui has always been like that and it amuses him. Though they have been together for only mere weeks, Jinho felt responsible for all of them for being the first person that Hui wanted to run away with. He felt responsible in holding them together within his arms and kept them in because he wanted to see the end of this and not with just anybody, but with them.

He can be someone to blame to if everyone wanted him to be. He can accept all the criticisms and all their pain, be the pillar of the rest while looking after his own feet, calloused to stand on the ground. He can guide them to the depths and ignite the light of their hopes, all because the light that he was longing for were slowly illuminating his world with the help of the other three.

"I was the gun that was ready to blow me up, but Hui was the one holding the trigger, holding me down," Wooseok continued amidst the silence that Jinho responded. Wooseok looked only at the bobbing hair that gives him the reassurance to continue, though confusion arose because of Jinho's actions, Wooseok realized Jinho's intentions.

Jinho never wanted to judge, let alone betray his first companion because all he ever wanted to do was to help because that was the first goal he had in this journey of his life.

"You can turn around and look at me, you know."

It was chilling to finally hear those words stumble upon the mouth of the youngest. Jinho has been longing to look at him and stare at him in hopes that his actions would speak more than his mouth could ever do. Jinho saw the youngest with his trembling lips and fidgeting fingers, but instead of helping him up and soothing his discomfort, Jinho was determined to let him know--

"I am going to leave my old self, hyung. I think I am happy with this."

--that sometimes people need to let go in order to gain something new.

Hui who was listening to two of his friends talking, couldn't help himself but believe more in Jinho.

No one in this room is alone any longer.

 

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hiddenclawsof
happy birthday to our one and only best leader, lee hwitaek.

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Rosewooseok #1
Chapter 15: 💛
bapbigfanficfan
#2
Chapter 9: hi....I love this story soooooo much!!!