Maybe I should think before I talk

I get emotional and words come out all wrong

Sometimes I’m more honest than I want

So maybe I should think before

Maybe next time I’ll think before I talk

The last few days had been a mishmash of emotion, from the highest high, to the lowest low.

It should be the highest high; their album had just dropped and how could the four girls not feel like they were on top of the world after releasing something they’d worked so hard for? The first few days were hectic, constantly working, doing interviews, attending tapings for various things, trying to communicate with fans as much as possible, and barely having any time for rest and celebration.

But that was okay, they were doing what they loved, and they’d been waiting for this moment for four years, so despite the utter exhaustion they were all experiencing, they were riding a high.

A high that came crashing down one day, when people began attacking Jennie for wearing a nurse costume.

Jennie loved that scene, and she’d been so proud of it, and suddenly people were criticizing her for it, attacking her online, dragging her any chance they got, pulling her excitement down with them. She suddenly felt anxious about going online, knowing there would be countless news reports and comments about it, and she started descending from the highest of highs, to the lowest of lows.

Her family and friends were there for her. They always were.

Her members as well, encouraging her, telling her how much they loved her scene, how proud she should be, not just of her acting, but also her participation in writing and producing the song.

But it wasn’t enough.

The damage was done, and Jennie was struggling. And unfortunately for Jennie, when she struggles and feels trapped like this, she has a tendency to lash out at innocent people who mean well.

And so that’s exactly what happened, she lashed out at the worst possible moment, and at the worst possible person.

They were all in the car on the way home from an interview, three of the girls trying to calm the fourth one, Rosé in particular trying to be her reassuring and supportive self.

Not so strange considering the fact that the upset girl in question was her girlfriend, and she hated nothing more than to see Jennie upset. In the car she was holding her hand, her arm comfortingly, and whispering reassurances into her ear, telling her how much she loved her, how perfect she though Jennie was, how that scene was her favorite in the whole music video, and how there was nothing wrong with the outfit.

But Jennie just wasn’t listening, it went in one ear and straight out the other.

Of course Roseanne would feel that way; she was her girlfriend! She basically had to say those things, like Jennie had said on a VLive many years prior; Rosie thinks highly of her all the time. Right then and there, in her hurt filled haze, Rosie’s opinion didn’t matter to Jennie because it wouldn’t change anything. She didn’t want her reassurances, she needed to hear it from other people. And so Jennie just sat there as Rosie did her very best.

It continued all the way home, hand squeeze, arm , whisper, rinse and repeat, with the occasional input from Jisoo and Lisa who felt just as bad as Rosie did, and wanted to comfort their friend just as much.

Jennie was still in a haze when they exited their elevator and entered their dorm, Rosie all but glued to her side with a worried expression on her face.

“It’s going to be okay, baby, I promise. The fans are on your side, Jisoo and Lisa are on your side. I’m on your side. You did such a good job; you should be proud. Can I get you anything? Some tea? Coffee? Milk? Water? Maybe some food? I can make you fried rice, or order some dumplings? Maybe some pho! Or milk ice cream?

“Maybe you want a nap? Just let me know and I’ll fix anything for you, okay? Here, have a seat on the couch, I’ll get a fluffy blanket and Kuku and you can watch some Netflix. You still have a few episodes of Money Heist left, don’t you?”

Jennie knew Rosie meant well, that she was doing her best to comfort her oh-so quiet girlfriend, but she just couldn’t handle it. Anger and sadness had been building up inside her ever since the first hate messages started over the video, and she just snapped, and she regretted it almost immediately, but that didn’t help the situation.

Pulling her arm from Rosie’s soft grip, she turned toward her with fire in her eyes, spitting out the words she should’ve held back. Right there, in the middle of the living room while Jisoo and Lisa were in the adjacent kitchen, she snapped.

“Stop being such a goody two shoes, Chaeyoung, and grow the up! It’s not just haters, it’s the entire ing nursing union, so of course it’s not gonna be okay! It’s YG we’re talking about! This isn’t about you at all, you haven’t done anything wrong, so stop trying to please me, stop being such a pushover, and just let me sulk in peace! I know you crave approval, but you’re not gonna get it from me, not now.”

Rosie’s eyes widened in shock as soon as Jennie’s voice rose, and Jennie watched her girlfriend’s eyes turned crestfallen and watery as Rosé’s heart crumbled into a million pieces. The younger girl’s eyebrows knitted together as she fought back tears, biting her lip as she turned around and stormed off to her room.

And Jennie wished she’d just slam her door shut out of anger, but in typical Rosé fashion she still closed it gently, despite the soft sobs that were racking through her body, and somehow it made Jennie hate herself that much more.

“…” she mumbled to herself, sitting down on the couch with her head in her hands, trying to figure out how to resolve this and make Rosie understand how sorry she was.

“What happened?” Jisoo was standing in the doorway, a worried-looking Lisa hovering behind her. They’d heard the commotion but didn’t have the entire context.

“I ed up. Rosie was just trying to comfort me, and I yelled at her and told her to stop being a pushover and stop trying to get my approval.”

Jisoo tutted as she shook her head, not sure if she should be surprised at the level of her best friend’s stupidity. “Wow, Jen, just wow. How is that you were the one to land sweet Rosie?”

“I don’t know…, what do I do?”

“Maybe give her some time?” Lisa piped up, hating the tension currently going on in the dorm.

“But what if that just gives her more time to dwell on it and hate me?”

“Jen, Rosie adores you, she’s never going to hate you.”

Massaging her temples, she let out a loud sigh and stood up, “I need to go talk to her, hopefully she’ll accept my apology.”

“Good luck, Jendeuk, hwaiting!”

Jennie threw them a tight lip smile, moving down the hall towards her girlfriend’s room. She knocked softly, not bothering to wait for a reply as she entered that dark room only lit up by a small decorative lamp on Rosie’s desk. The girl in question was on the bed, her back towards the door, and Jennie could faintly see her shoulders moving as if she was crying, the action shooting straight to Jenni