“I’m borrowing your car!” She shouts from the foyer.

Kyungsoo hums, “will you be home tonight?”

She replies, “don’t think so!”

“Use condoms!” Her brother yells.

Kyungha ignores him and grabs his keys. On the way to his apartment, she thinks about the conversation she should be having with him.

Maybe she shouldn’t be ing him up before engaging him in a serious conversation. Sehun never told her his address, but with disdain, she’d went straight to the receptionist and asked her for it. She was reluctant, giving it to Kyungha, but honestly, she’d probably already known that they were together.

The woman should’ve remembered her and Sehun when they'd handed in their relationship disclosure form.

She checks the time from her brother’s car. It was around evening. Sehun had finished his shift an hour or so ago. He’d said he would head over to her after he took a nap. Kyungha quickly came up with a plan to surprise him instead.

So there she was. Wrapped in a trench coat with lingerie that barely covered anything. She knocks on his door, a smile forming on her lips. But what she doesn’t expect is to see someone else come to the door, not Sehun, the person she’d wanted to see. But her worst nightmare.

Minjung’s gaze flickers to Kyungha. The woman smirks, her red lips flashing with an offensive smile. “Happy birthday, little sis. What can I do for you?”

Kyungha trembles. “What the are you doing here, Park Minjung?”

She laughs into Kyungha’s face. “Aw, baby. Are you not happy to see me? Wow, I just got a sense of deja vu. Did it hit you yet?”

“Who’s at the door?” It was Sehun’s voice. Kyungha could recognize it anywhere. Her stomach free falls, and she felt the fixtures in her heart crumble under the weight.

Minjung casually answers, “no one. They’ve got the wrong apartment!”

Kyungha tries to force her way into the door, but she’s blocked. “Let me pass,” she demands abrasively.

The latter throws her a smug look. “I don’t think so, little sis. Have a good day,” she chirps before slamming the door in Kyungha’s face.

“What the actual ?” Seulgi shouts, throwing her hands up.

“She just kicked you out like it was her place? I thought Sehun lived there,” Joohyun says with a frown.

Kyungha sighs, burying her face in her pillow. “I don’t know. I got the address from the hospital. I don’t want to jump to conclusions without asking him,” she explains, voice muffled under the pillow.

Seulgi makes a horrifying sound in the back of . “Then why are you here? You should be beating him with champagne bottles!”

Kyungha closes her eyes, the memory she’d desperately tried to push away replays nightmarishly.

After their fight, she received zero text messages from him. Kyungha had never felt this type of pain before. Razorblade sharp. Digging into her side. She could feel it every time she took a breath. And she’d wanted it to stop.

She’d wanted him to chase after her. She didn’t mean for the words to come out of . Surely, he could see that. She could only deduct that he’d simply didn’t care. So he didn’t care? Fine, she didn’t care either.

But Kyungha felt every part of that lie in her bones. She did care. So much. She’d wanted him back.

The argument replays in her head over and over again.

“—You’re not even worth it,” she’d said.

“Take that back, Kyungha. You don’t mean it.”

“I’m not taking anything back.”

“Then you aren’t worth it either.”

His last words had stung her so badly. When she’d left his place, her mind went blank. She couldn’t feel anything but the shards of her own words. Why did Kyungha lie? Why was she stupid.

Days pass, and she hears nothing from him. Kyungha was getting anxious. She had to pack up and leave for Columbia in a few days. She didn’t want things to fall apart like this between them.

What if she had to come back for the holidays? It would’ve been so awkward. She would hate that more than anything. She didn’t mind if they didn’t go back to the way they were before. Snuggling together on the couch. On his bed. His laughter oscillating on her skin.

Kyungha pulls out her drawer, staring at his key. She’d lied again to him. She never lost the key. She was just butthurt that he was being so petty.

She picks the metal up, gripping it tightly in her hands. It hurt, the sharp edges digging into her flesh. But nothing hurt more than the heaviness of her chest.

Kyungha picks up her phone to send him a text that she was heading over. He’d texted back an okay.

With a nervous and unsteady heart, she’d ubered over to his place, clutching onto the key. Her chest was filled with flutters as she thought about what she would say.

Sorry? I’m sorry? I didn’t mean what I said. Please don’t be mad.

There were infinite numbers of words that she could have used, but none of them felt sufficient. Kyungha was panicking silently, and the car had stopped too soon. She wasn’t ready yet.

With a heaved sigh, she thanks the driver, turning toward his apartment complex. With shaky legs, she heads up to his floor and twists the key in the lock.

His door clicks open. The place is dark, and she pads inside quietly. Not before tripping on fabric. Kyungha’s eyes round as she stares at the articles of clothing strewn on the floor.

She stares at the familiar pair of high heels. Her breath catches, jaw clenching. She counts to ten, telling herself to breathe.

Kyungha forces herself to tear her eyes away from the floor. It’d hurt. More than she’d expected. The memory of the beach hits her. Did she seem that easy to him?

Disgusting. She’d felt so disgusting in her own skin. She’d wanted to melt away into nothing. Maybe that would stop the pain.

A voice startles her. “Kyungha?” Minjung.

Her breathing comes out shallow and fast, eyes burning. She lifts her head to see Minjung walk over to her in Sehun’s shirt.

Kyungha wants to scream. She wants to smash everything, but nothing works. Not her voice. Not her hands. She couldn’t even stop shaking.

“What are you doing here?” Minjung asks her again, putting a hand on the younger’s shoulder.

She chokes, “did you two—“

Minjung’s eyes harden. “I asked what you were doing here. Answer the question, Kyungha,” she says, her voice anything but kind.

Ordinarily, Minjung’s voice is sweet and silky, but today, it’s far from that. It grates against Kyungha’s existence. She inhales sharply, finally answering after a long drag of silence, “I’m here to return his key.”

Minjung’s eyes are cold as they flicker onto Kyungha’s hands. The younger girl trembles as she offers the key on her palm. The older woman takes it wordlessly. “Is that all?”

Kyungha wants to say a million things. She wants to say no.

you both.

I hate you both.

Monsters. Coldhearted monsters. The both of you.

But nothing comes out. Minjung sighs, raking a hand through her hair. “Good night, Kyungha. I’ll give Sehun your best.”

Her jaw clenches as she finally looks away from Minjung. “Don’t bother. Keep it from him. I don’t want him to know.”

Minjung’s eyebrows disappear above her hairline. “Whatever helps you sleep at night,” she murmurs, turning as Kyungha begins to leave.

Kyungha scoffs bitterly. Little did Minjung know, sleep wasn’t something that came easy to her anymore. And that wasn’t going to change anytime soon.

When Kyungha leaves the apartment complex, her heart is bruised, but it’s still beating. She turns to sneak a lingering glance for one last time. Kyungha whispers to herself, “goodbye, Oh Sehun.” And then, she turns around, ambling away.

Never looking back again.

Kyungha is shaken by her friends. She blinks. “Hm?”

Seulgi stares at Kyungha with concern. A concern that goes past a simple worry. “Kyungie,” she calls softly, bringing her hand up to cup the younger’s face. “Why are you crying?”

Joohyun is giving her the same look. Kyungha bites her trembling lips. “What?” She asks, touching her face. She startles at her glistening fingertips. “I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m—“ She hiccups. “Why am I crying?”

Joohyun’s eyes become glossy as she holds Kyungha. “Oh baby,” she says soothingly. But Kyungha’s a goner.

Everything hurts so badly. And she becomes increasingly afraid of herself. Even with the possibility of him cheating on her, she misses Sehun, and she wishes he were here instead. She’d loved her friends, really. But god, she’d do anything to see him.

She’d do anything to feel his arms around her, rubbing soothing circles and telling her inappropriate jokes just to hear her laugh.

She’d do anything if she could touch him one more time.

Kyungha releases an unsteady breath. Her sobs fall against Seulgi’s neck. She’d already told herself that she wasn’t going to ever cry again.

Not after Dani. Not after Daehwi.

But she couldn’t stop. Her ribs contracted against her will, aching as the crying wrecks her body.

Her brain hurt, but her heart hurt even more. Ten times that. She’d thought she’d felt pain before, but this was on another level. It was even more agonizing than the first time.

She’d thought that she’d learned her lesson the first time, but it was happening again. Seeing Minjung in his apartment. Being dismissed like that. Minjung’s cold, triumphant smile as she had Sehun curled around her talons.

She’d really tried convincing herself that she was probably misunderstanding him. But Kyungha just felt betrayal. Disbelief.

Her phone buzzes with text messages. Joohyun reads them and her eyes tell Kyungha everything she’d needed to know. The younger girl doesn’t know how far her heart can drop anymore. Frankly, she’d thought she was done being surprised.

Seulgi asks, “Was that him?”

“Yes. Oh, Kyungha, I’m so sorry,” Joohyun concedes, her eyes falling.

Kyungha croaks, “what did he say?”

“I can’t tell you, Kyungha. It’s already tearing me to pieces seeing you like this.”

“What did he say?” She enunciates, the disappointment already drowning her. Kyungha couldn’t see a way out of this. She’d felt like there was an anchor on her leg, pulling her down further and further. She was sinking, and nothing was going to save her.

Kyungha slips out of her bedroom, padding downstairs. Then, she pulls open the door, wordlessly. “Hi,” she whispers. Her voice is foreign and rough to her own ears.

Sehun smiles at her. “Sorry about the other day. I had some things to take care of,” he tells her, scratching his nape.

“What was more important than my birthday?” Kyungha asks. It’s an honest question, and she didn’t care how broken she’d sounded.

He tilts his head, not understanding. “Are you okay?”

She sighs. “No, I’m not, but I’ll get by.”

Sehun reaches for her, but she jerks away. He drops his hand, staring at her in shock and hurt. “Sweetheart—“

Kyungha shakes her head. “Please don’t call me that right now.” She’d wanted it to sound firm, but instead, it came out small and weak and she was pleading him at this point.

“Did something happen? Is it the nightmares?”

She remains silent, but then with her remaining strength, she speaks, “answer my question, Sehun.”

His mouth opens. She’d rendered him silent. Kyungha had never used his real name to call him. To him, his real name was a stark wake-up call—a sharp wound in his reality. It’d meant that something was wrong. And yes, something was very wrong. He levels with her. “I was busy with—“

“With Minjung?” Kyungha asks.

“How do you—“

She scoffs. “Did you both have fun?”

“Kyungha,” he prompts, trying to reach for her, but she moves away again.

“She looked really nice in that dress. Did you take it off?”

“Kyungha, stop—“

“You know, you could’ve spared me if you hadn’t met her on my birthday.”

“Kyungha, please. I’m begging you,” he pleads, voice cracking.

“Did you kiss her? Did she taste good?” Kyungha should shut up. She’d wanted to, but the words—everything she’d held in—kept spilling out like word vomit. And it’d burned too much to swallow them back in.

“Why are you like this?”

“Why are you hiding things from me?” She questions, mirroring his tone.

His eyebrows pull together. “I’m not hiding anything from you,” he insists.

Kyungha drops her hand to her pocket, fishing out the lipstick. “Return this to her for me,” she says, tucking it into his hands.

He’s stunned. “Why is this with you?”

She plasters a smile on her face, advising, “there are better hiding spots than your doctor’s gown. The next time you want to hide something, make sure your girlfriend doesn’t easily find it. And oh, if she does, don’t lie to her. She can smell the bull from miles away.”

Sehun squeezes his eyes shut. He looks like he’s fishing out words to say, but he has nothing. And frankly, she had nothing either. No more sympathy. She couldn’t even feel her heart in her chest anymore.

“This is the second time,” she tells him. His eyes snap back to her. “August 6th, 2032.” She doesn’t wait for him to speak. “She must be a really nice lay if you keep coming back,” Kyungha surmises, her eyes growing misty.

“What the ? Stop it. Just stop for a second. Let me speak—“

“What excuses do you have? Will you finally tell me the truth or are you going to keep lying to me? We promised—“ Her voice breaks. But she doesn’t let her gaze waver, she wasn’t done. “—we promised each other we wouldn’t lie. Was it worth it? Tell me, Oh Sehun. Was being with her worth more than being with me on my birthday?” She decrees, feeling her willpower crumble away from like sand. She attempts to catch it, but the wind simply blows harder, fighting her.

Sehun throws his hands up. “I didn’t lie to you!”

“Well, you were about to! If I didn’t bring her up, you wouldn't have! Tell me I’m lying. Why don’t you ing tell me?” She shouts desperately. She was running out of air again, and she was only growing more disappointed as the clock ticked by.

He closes his mouth.

And there it is. The last and final piece of her heart shatters like an atomic explosion. She couldn’t piece it together anymore. There was nothing. Nothing to put back together. “Oh,” she lets out, her voice as thin as ice. Her hands fall limb by her side. “For the first time—“ The sound of her laugh that tumbles from is soft and empty. “—being right doesn’t make me as happy as I think it would have. Funny,” she notes, her cheeks sting from the cold air and the culmination of her tears. For the first time, she’d regretted being a genius. Because it was useless. She wasn’t even smart enough to avoid the fallout.

Sehun sighs, trying his hardest to remain in control. He holds his expression tight, not letting go. There’s desperation and sadness and agony and then he’s talking again. “Kyungha, I have nothing to say. I can’t tell you. Can’t you just trust me? I can promise you that I haven’t done anything to break your trust. I—“

“You’re doing it right now,” she interrupts. Her knees want to buckle from under her. She didn’t know how she was still standing. “All I hear are empty words. Do you really mean them? How can I trust you when the first time I came back, I got an eyeful of her bare legs, wearing nothing but your shirt? Explain that to me, sweetheart. She slammed the door in my face on my birthday.” Kyungha stops to laugh self-deprecatingly. “I must be a fool,” she sings. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I couldn’t stop coming back when I already knew what the results were, right? You were always going to choose her over me. I’m just this stupid, young girl who’s madly delusional.”

And for the first time tonight, he’s finally angry. “Kyungha,” he scolds, his voice rigid. “Don’t you dare ing say that about yourself. I’ve told you, you’re more than this. You’re my entire ing world!“

She shakes her head. “I’m not more than this. I’m weak. You—“ She inhales sharply, her lungs aching. “—you make me weak. I thought that maybe it was a good thing that I’ve changed, and spoiler alert, it is. I’m not running away. I’m confronting you head-on. So tell me, change my mind. What’s going to keep me from leaving you?”

Sehun is crying, and it feels like she’s been stabbed all over again. She wants to reach out and brush his tears away, but Kyungha wills herself not to move. “Trust me, sweetheart,” he pleads. “Like you’ve always had. We’re magic. Don’t let it end this way. I’m begging you, Kyungha.”

Kyungha’s lips tremble. “Magic is a fantasy,” she chokes out past her sob. “I gave you a chance, Sehun. But you broke my heart again, and now you won’t explain yourself. So what do you want me to do? Hurt myself again? I can’t do it. I'm broken. Everything hurts, Sehun. I'm done. Just let me go in peace,” she whimpers.

He reaches for her hand, and this time, she lets him grab it. “Kyungha, please, please don’t cry. You’re killing me. I can’t leave you while you’re crying like this. You're breaking me, Do Kyungha.”

Kyungha grabs her sleeves, wiping her face in one rough . “Goodbye, Sehun,” she murmurs.

He takes one more look at her as he backs away. His hands have left hers. The temperature of her palm drops into absolute zero. She was losing her sunshine. “Kyungha,” he calls one more time.

“Yes?”

“I love you, sweetheart.”

And then he’s gone. And Kyungha shuts the door, sliding to the floor as she clutches her chest that's filled with nothing but empty space.