If there was one thing that Kyungha hated, it was shopping. Why would anyone want to actively volunteer to weave through massive crowds of people and then proceed to touch clothes and items that probably have been touched by hands that have been in god knows what places?

So after Thanksgiving lunch ended, Kyungsoo offers her worst nightmare. Not just shopping, but Black Friday shopping—an American culture that could only be described as barbaric.

And to make it worse, her brother was an avid shopper. He loved, absolutely thrived, in big shopping centers or the farmer’s market. And he was also into securing the discounts. Any discounts. All sorts of discounts. When he dragged her on shopping trips (Jongin would pretend he’d be too busy to go, lucky bastard), she’d only have the worse nightmares.

Like when her brother forced her to go to an over-the-top boutique for her high school prom dress. She was five years younger than everyone, and Kyungha was set on not going. And how was it possible that prom dresses ranged up to three-digit price tags? Stupid capitalistic ploys.

He’d reasoned that she shouldn’t miss prom and that it was an all exclusive high school experience that she should have. He’d already felt sorry that she couldn’t have a normal childhood. Kyungha ended up going, but after she was dropped off at school, she spent the night walking home by herself.

Thinking back, it may have been the stupidest thing she’d ever done. She could’ve been killed, sure. But what Kyungsoo doesn’t know won’t kill him.

Anyway, everyone was on board. Jongin, being quick-witted, offered to stay home with the bunch of kids before she could.

To say the least, Kyungha was horrified. And it’s also why she finds herself sulking in the passenger seat of Sehun’s car. Kyungsoo has conveniently hitched a ride with Baekhyun and Haeeun, so they were alone. Not that she’d cared, but her brother was probably going to nag the entire trip and she didn’t have enough ears to listen.

“Sweetheart,” Sehun calls for her in his soft-spoken tone.

She turns her head slightly, entertaining him. “Hm?”

“If my dad had come, would you have wanted to tell him?” His question is quiet. He sounds almost unsure and nervous.

Kyungha squints her eyes, a mocking smile already on its way. “About?”

He squirms. “You know what.”

“About our relationship?” She replies nonchalantly, kicking her feet forward.

“Yeah,” he nods.

She hums, “why? Are you embarrassed by me?”

Sehun shoots her a pointed glare like her words have been the most offensive thing he’s heard all day. “Of course not,” he says in a clipped tone.

“Then, why are you afraid?” She returns, eyeing his side profile with careful consideration.

“I’m not afraid. I’m just worried about you. Our age difference isn’t something to take lightly, you know?” He begins, eyes focused on the road.

Kyungha stares outside her window into the crowded bustling streets. Hundreds of cars have surrounded them before she’d realized. They were stuck in traffic, which was New York’s best characteristic. Well, this uncomfortable talk was going to happen whether she’d like it or not.

After a beat, she answers, “I’m aware. What does that have to do with meeting your dad?” She didn’t mean to sound so insensitive but it just came out that way. She really didn’t see the hassle in worrying about societal norms anymore. Honestly, they were just two people who had feelings for each other. It was stupid how long it took her to realize that nothing mattered—no amount of stares or judgment would turn her off. She’d already invested her heart, and there was no going back.

It just wasn’t in her book anymore. The running away, the lying. She was done.

Sehun drums his fingers on his steering wheel, and Kyungha reaches for his closest, available hand, lacing her fingers through. He turns his head slightly, flashing her an unwarranted smile that made her insides all ooey-gooey. She squeezes his hand, waiting for him to answer her question.

“Dad isn’t—erm—he’s never been restrictive, really. And in high school, I took advantage of that. I wasn’t the most stellar student and honestly—he’d come home to see me take shots from a stripper’s belly button.”

Kyungha laughs into her hand, shaking her head in disbelief. “Do tell me more about your wild side.”

He rolls his eyes playfully, nudging her with his elbow. “Did you know that I snorted a line of coke before? And then when he saw the residue the next day on the coffee table, he asked me, ‘is this what I think it is?’ I was flustered and my brain was ed from my blackout the night before, so I blurted the first thing on my mind, ‘we were baking.’ I was a complete if I thought I was fooling my dad who spent four years in medical school and many more in hospitals.” He bites his lips, containing his laugh, but Kyungha doesn’t hold back.

He shakes his head promptly, returning to the topic, “anyway, he was a lax parent. Always been. I’d gotten arrested, but you know, each time, he’d take me to Shake Shack and treat me to custard instead of burying me six feet under. Eventually, I got a sense that he had a soft spot on me because of what happened with—“ Sehun stops, realizing that Kyungha probably didn’t know the story behind his mom.

She traces her fingers on his knuckles, finishing his sentence, “your mother. I heard you at my mom’s four years ago.”

Sehun nods stiffly. “I didn’t appreciate his efforts at the time. The parties were just for show. I didn’t care about the popularity. I just wanted him to get him riled up. I wanted him to yell at me—I don’t know, be a normal parent?”

“You’re such an idiot,” she comments offhandedly.

He snorts. “Trust me. I will forever regret that time period. But as expected, my dad didn’t humor me. He knew what I’d wanted and he’d refused, but I also think that because we were close, he didn’t seem to care as long as I was safe—“

“Right because doing at sixteen is completely safe, of course,” she sasses. Sehun laughs at that.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know what you meant, continue.” She waves her free hand in his direction.

He glances sideways, meeting her eyes for a split second when they stop at a red light. “Dad won every time. I was just a kid, and he was the one with a medical degree with a day job that required him to psychoanalyze his patients. I don’t know what I’d expected, but eventually, I’d snapped out of it. College wasn’t that bad. I focused on getting my degree more than I did, partying.” He waggles his eyebrows. “Pro-tip, high-quality liquor is best if you don’t want your brain turning into heaps of dead jellyfish the next morning.”

Kyungha rolls her eyes. “Pro-tip, maybe just abstain from drinking and perhaps your liver won’t corrode.”

“Shut up, sweetheart.”

“Just putting it out there,” she says, shrugging innocently.

“Anyway, I upgraded from debauchery to semi-committal Oh Sehun in college. I had, probably, two serious relationships. I never introduced any of them to Dad though.” He winces, painful memories flashing galore. “Let’s say, they were better for my but not for brain stimulus.”

Kyungha hides her snicker. “Your entire statement is a contradiction, sweetheart.”

“Shut up, and stop stealing my pet name. Get your own.”

She smacks his chest. “I don’t see your name on it.”

He levels her a mischievous look. “Because there can only be one queen and that’s you, sweetheart.”

Kyungha dry heaves. “You’re an embarrassment to society.”

“Only for you,” he quips, blowing her air kisses. She swats at them. He grows silent, pondering in his head. “Where was I again?”

“You were recounting the times you were purely thinking with your and only courted bimbos.”

“Ah, of course, how could I forget? They definitely had a sweeter tongue than you.”

Kyungha lifts her brow. “Daniel had a bigger than you.”

She watches as he clutches his heart comedically as if she’s shot an arrow through it. “No,” he croaks.

And she laughs wryly. “You’re right. I’m lying.”

He shoots her a glare but doing a quick analysis, there’s zero irritation and all mushy sentiment. Kyungha triumphs. He was pant-less, and the deeper he got into the emotional territory of dating her, he would remain that way. That she could assure.

“Anyway,” he begins again. “Minjung was the first woman I introduced to him, and after spending dinner with us, he took one look at me and looked out the window. I could see disappointment as clear as day. It hurt like a , frankly, because he’d never given me that look before. Not when I almost flunked freshman year. Not even when I was held overnight in a damn cell.

I hid it from Minjung, but it eventually got to the point that I couldn’t look at her without feeling disappointed myself. Was that all I could do? When I finally got serious and wanted to settle down, Dad didn’t seem as excited as I was. And it killed me. He was my moral support, my pillars. It hurt more that he didn’t verbally say it simply because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings.

I’m not saying that he’d react the same way if he knew we were intimate, but I can’t help but be frightened at the possibility that he might give me that same passive look of disappointment again.

I don’t know if I can handle it this time because you, Do Kyungha, are the realest ing thing in my life. And you’re also my person. I like you so ing much, and it’s almost unreal. But Dad’s also my person, and I can’t fathom his disapproval because of—“ He heaves a long sigh. “—our age difference. I don’t want him to see you as an innocent little thing who has no idea what she signed up for—“ He pauses, sending Kyungha a cheeky grin. “Or a floozy bimbo if we’re counting your getting me to in point-blank success rate.”

She attempts to break his fingers. “Holy , sweetheart! That was a joke. Goddamn it,” he sputters frivolously. Heaving a relieved sigh—probably because he hadn’t died by her hands yet, he articulates, “what I mean to say is, you aren’t that. You aren’t any of it. You’re so, so far from that. If I were to symbolize the dark sky, you’d be each of those twinkling stars.

Not because you’re small, but because you’re always going to be there. Everywhere. And mind you, the sun counts as a star, which means you’re inescapable. And, this boy, does not have a single problem with that. Same goes for Sehun Jr.”

Kyungha finally caves and falls into a fit of hysterics. “You’re—“ She gasps, heaving in oxygen.

“—the smoothest motherer?” He offers.

“I was going to say tacky, but you know, whatever tickles your fancy.”

Sehun winks. “Oh, sweetheart. I am a man of many talents, and tacky is not one of them.”

Kyungha throws him an are you sure about that? look. “In all means, Romeo, continue with your barf-inducing monologues. I’m sure Shakespeare is getting out of his grave right now to throw you a congratulations party for getting into his bachelor’s club.”

He tsks. “You’re such an .”

She sends him a lopsided smile. “Hoon,” she prompts. He hums in reply. “Don’t worry about your dad being disappointed, if I can charm the pants off of you, whose to not say he’ll drop his for me?”

Sehun snorts. “Sweetheart, do I have to satiate your for gerontophilia now?”

Kyungha harrumphs. “To be fair, grandpa, you already have been.”

“Yes, yes. Keep talking. You’ll be regretting it one day when I actually need .”

“Aaaand for personal reasons, I will be passing away now.”

“Step right up! We’re offering some promotional items as prizes. We have gift cards ranging from Amazon, Cheesecake Factory, Old Navy, Panera Bread—all sorts of goodies! Just sign up for the couple contest, and you’ll be all set to win your prize.”

Sehun pulls her to an immediate stop, his eyes round. Kyungha shakes her head with impeccable speed. She had a creeping suspicion that she’d already lost.

“Bae!” Haeeun shouts, jumping on his back. “That sounds fun!”

Baekhyun immediately shrinks away. “No.”

She gasps, clutching her chest. “What? Why?”

He gapes at her. “Because you’re ing scary when you’re competitive. I’d be lucky if I could sleep on the ground tonight much less the sofa.”

Haeeun makes a face. “Screw you, party pooper.”

“Actually, I’m Byun Baekhyun, but yes, screwing you is something I can fulfill. Where would you like it this time? In the bathroom stall of the food court?” Baekhyun mouths off unapologetically.

Sehun and Kyungha cough out a laugh, which only makes Haeeun glare at all of them. “Strange. He reminds me of someone,” her boyfriend taunts.

Kyungha levels an impressed look at Baekhyun. “I think we should ditch our SO and elope.”

Baekhyun grins. “Sounds like a good—“ He never finishes because Haeeun kicks him in the shin.

And Kyungha is also not breathing as Sehun retains her in a headlock. When her older brother saunters from the restroom, he takes one look at them and doesn’t even question why Baekhyun is currently clutching his leg and Kyungha sees stars.

Haeeun gasps, an idea flashing in her eyes. She lowers her voice. “Kyung! We should try it together.”

Kyungsoo squints his eyes. “Try what?”

His best friend points toward the booth that several people have already gathered around. It takes him a minute to read the print, but he immediately covets his game face. “Are you kidding? Let’s ing go.”

Yes, her brother, who shares a joint account with Kim Jongin, the notoriously wealthy pretty boy that females fell to the floor for, is a er for discounts and free things. She watches the two skip away excitedly arm in arm. Baekhyun groans, following after his wife.

Sehun juts out his lips. She’d known his exact intentions. The Panera Bread gift card already had his name on it, and she was not going to win this debate whether she had the pants or not. Like she'd said, if there was one thing he'd loved more than ing her up, it was bread.

Kyungha allows him to drag her to the booth. The spokesperson spends the next five minutes laying out the ground rules.

No looking at your SO’s whiteboard. No exchanging any sorts of looks. No telepathy. Blah, blah, blah.

All couples are seated on the nearby tables, backs facing each other. A crowd forms around them. Kyungha is begging for the ground to swallow her, but to no avail, her wish is unanswered.

Baekhyun is sitting off nearby, hiding his face in mortification. Kyungsoo and Haeeun are unabashedly beaming, looking way too happy with themselves.

“First question!” The spokesperson bellows, clapping to get everyone’s attention. “Let’s start out with something easy. We can fish out the weak ones with this one. Alright, what is your partner’s favorite color? I repeat, what is your partner’s favorite color? Remember, no speaking! My assistant will be making sure of that. Make sure you write the correct answer below your response. Your time begins. Now!”

Kyungha blinks. Easy. It was blue. She didn’t know if he knew what hers was. She was hoping it was blatant without her telling him since she’d only worn yellow dresses and whatnot.

They’re told to turn around and reveal the answer to each other. Sehun’s eyes gleam with pride when he sees that they’ve written the same thing, but inversely.

Blue

Yellow

“Well, well. That was surprising. We are down to seven couples now.” The other disqualified couples begin to stand. “Next question! Favorite foods. Alright, what is your SO’s favorite food? And time…begins now.”

Sehun had written Kit Kats, and she’d written my mom’s cooking. Weirdly, they’d made it to the next round. The assistant smiles endearingly when he sees their answers.

Kyungsoo whoops, “that’s ing right! Mama Do’s cooking is fantastic. Period!” Her brother and Haeeun had made it to the next round easily. Considering the fact that they’ve been best friends for more than a decade, it was no competition.

Kyungha hides her face in her hand. If anyone asked, she didn’t know him.

“Down to five couples. Jesus, if you don’t know what your SO likes, why are you even together? Dinner must be terribly dull.”

A round of hush laughter falls over the crowd. More people leave.

“Okay! Third question. Let’s take it up a notch. Meet cute. Love at first sight. Or I don’t know—where you met in general. Where did you first meet? Time begins now. Chop chop!”

She scribbles my house, and when she turns around—yep—same answer.

Sehun grins, the memory of their first meeting flashes in his eyes. She’d remember the exact date because it was perhaps the most embarrassing moment in her life.

She was four, still drooling and unbeknownst to her feelings—obviously. Imagine a seventeen-year-old popping a for a toddler. She shudders. Nope. Nope. Nope. She’d noped out of those thoughts real quick.

Anyway, Kyungha tripped into Sehun on the stairs and they tumbled down the rest of the way. It was a bitter memory. At age twenty, she’d learned how to choke on his . At age sixteen, she’d learned how to cop a feel. At the horrifying age of four, she’d learned how to ballbust with her skull.

Both couples—real and fake—made it to the fourth round.

“Three people left! We are in semi-finals now. This is where it gets bloody. To divorce or not to divorce? Next question! If she/he were to do someone else, who would it be?”

Man, this guy was a psychic. A teenage girl stomps from her table with her boyfriend hurriedly following after her.

Haeeun and Kyungsoo wrote the names of their husbands. Cheeky bastards.

Kyungha squints her eyes to read his loopy handwriting. He’d written the writer of Gray’s Anatomy. Funny, she’d written the same thing. Sehun winks at her with a toothy smile.

She reveals her answer, and he coughs.

His college bimbos.

Well, Kyungha wasn’t called a genius for nothing. She pats his back, stifling her sassy smirk.

“Wow! Both couples are going strong. Let’s see who we can eliminate. Any last words from either team?”

Haeeun sticks out her tongue. “You’re going down,” she challenges. Kyungsoo high-fives his best friend.

Sehun tilts his head wryly, arrogantly replying, “the only place I’m going down on is my sweetheart. You can shove it, Hae. Don’t cry to me when you lose.”

Kyungha chokes on her spit as she whirls around to kill him, but the spokesperson seems to find him hilarious because the guy is laughing, clutching his stomach.

“Alright, let’s keep this PG-13, we don’t want parents suing. Last question—“

“Hoon,” she calls timidly.

Sehun ignores her. Kyungha swallows. Okay, so she may or may not have gotten the last question wrong. Was it life or death? No, so it was an understatement as to how bewildered she was to see him sulking.

“er!” Haeeun cheers, throwing her hands up. Kyungsoo waves the gift cards in his hands with triumph. The two were acting like they won an Oscar. Hell, they’d practically be nominated for basically conning their way through the game.

Baekhyun sighs. “You must be really proud of yourself, Kang.”

Kyungha also sighs when Sehun marches off. She turns to her brother. “I’ll catch up with you two in a few minutes.”

Haeeun waves her hand. “Don’t bother. We’re going to cash out these ers. Have fun. Meet us out here in two hours!” Then, she loops her arms around her real husband and bounces off into the distance.

Kyungha manages to sidle next to her still butthurt boyfriend. “Hoon,” she announces.

Sehun’s glance flickers onto her face for a beat before turning away with a huff. “I don’t know who you are.”

She groans. Then, batting her lashes, she asks, “even if I tell you I’m your girlfriend?”

He grumbles, “the last time I checked, my girlfriend actually—“ He gasps with theatrical dramatics. “—remembered my birthday.”

Kyungha throws her hands up. “Oh my god! I was one digit off, sue me!”

Sehun releases a haughty sound from his chest. “Oh, you bet I will. In fact, I’ll sue you for emotional distress. I’ll see you in court at eight tomorrow.”

She laughs. God, he was such a child. “It was my bad, really. I’m sorry.”

“Apology not accepted.”

Kyungha abandons her pride. “But…oppa?”

Sehun whirls around so fast he almost trips over his long legs. His eyes gleam, all signs of his pretentious resentment flushed down the toilet. “One more time.”

She feigns, “hm?”

He bites his lip and then breaks into an ear to ear smile. “You’re so ing cute. Come here.” Kyungha wraps her arms around his neck. He pulls her into the air, twirling her around. She tries to pretend bystanders weren’t shooting them distasteful looks. Nothing reeks more than a happy couple. But to their dismay, Kyungha gave zero s. “I was just messing with you. I could never stay mad at you, you know that.”

She grumbles, “you just wanted me to up to you, .”

“Ah, there’s the Kyungha I know. I missed her.”

Kyungha loses her poker face almost immediately, lips already twitching again. “She misses you too, and she got you a present.”

Sehun an eyebrow at her. “What present?”

She pulls a shiny green gift card from her pocket, flashing it in his face. His jaw drops as his eyes dart between the gift card and her face.

“How much is on there?” He gapes, grabbing the card.

Kyungha snickers. “A hundred dollars.”

“You must be an idiot if you think I’m letting you spend that much money on a stupid gift card.”

“Actually, said stupid gift card was the reason you were acting like Tae’s reincarnate. And I didn’t spend a penny.”

He frowns. “Then where did you get this?”

“I may or may not have told the guy that he was scammed. I even showed him Kyungsoo’s wedding pictures featuring my poorly sewn dress.”

“How dare you?”

“How dare I? I went to great lengths to make you happy.”

Sehun melts into a puddle of softness. “You’re right, my queen. Please don’t put me through the guillotine for I have sinned.”

“Shut up,” she snipes.

He laughs, pressing a kiss to her lips. “Make me.”